


First Year

by Signature_smirk



Series: BDSM school for boys. [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU-BDSM, Anal Sex, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Collars, Daddy Kink, Fingering, First Time, Flogging, Kneeling, M/M, Orgasm Control, Panties, Problems? Comment, Punishment, Restraints, Rimming, Sex Toys, Spanking, blindfold, dub con, ish, it gets fixed., louis is a bad Dom at the start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-08 21:17:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 61
Words: 93,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3223763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signature_smirk/pseuds/Signature_smirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where BDSM has taken over, Harry is shipped off to a school to train him as a sub, despite living in one if the few places that rejected against the lifestyle.</p><p>He is assigned to Louis Tomlinson and starts his journey to become a Sub. </p><p> </p><p>Or </p><p>Louis and Harry get paired together and go through the struggle of teaching an unwilling Harry how to behave. </p><p>Zayn and Liam live across from them and Zayn finds it much easier to be a sub than Harry does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

*Harry's P.O.V*

"Stop being so moody, Harry. You're going to behave at this school. It's your last chance!" My mum warns as we pull up to the boarding school.

I don't know much about it besides the fact it's all boys- how shit is that? And it has really good success rates. That's all my mums told me, but she seems really reserved if I ask her anything. So I'm going in blind.

"Okay." My mum rolls her eyes.

"Listen Harry, just know I love you no matter what okay?" She asks as I get out and get my bags. I duck my head to look into the car.

"What're you not telling me?" And she tells the driver to pull away. I straighten up and turn around, startling when I see the boy stood there patiently.

"What's your name?" He asks, extending his hand out to me. 

"Where's my dorm?"

"Would you like me to take your bags? " He asks and steps in front of me, stopping me in my path. I roll my eyes and sigh. "I'm Harry. Who're you?" I ask.

"I'm Dylan." He takes one of my bags and walks forwards. "I'm your room mate. I have to show you around a bit until your first lesson." "

What lessons do we have in this school?" He looks taken aback by my question.

"You're in for a surprise, Harry." I don't even want to find out what he means. When we get to our room he tells me to change into my uniform before lesson.

It's any pants we want and a smart white shirt with a blazer and tie that corresponds with our year. First years have a red trim on their black blazer and tie which I find horrific. The second years have green, thirds have blue, fourths white which looks alright and fifth years get to wear their own clothes.

"I need to get you to your lesson," Dylan says. "You have lesson for about two hours today but you'll be doing other stuff for a bit too. So later, I'll find you at lunch and then you can unpack and we'll have dinner at half five." I nod, going into the bathroom to change.

I roll my sleeves up to my elbows and untuck my shirt from my jeans, loosen my tie and ruffle my hair. _Looking good, Harry._

Though I don't see why it matters, there's no one to impress here as I'm not gay, not bisexual. I did question my sexuality a few years ago when my friend told me about being asexual and I was kind of confused so I looked into all the different sexualities and it scared me to have so many options, knowing the amount of ridicule some people go through. I suppressed any thoughts about my sexuality from then on. So I stuck to what I had always seen and heard was ' _normal_ ' heterosexuality.

"C'mon, Curly, time for class." I sigh and walk out. "You have Mr. Johnson. He's alright, quite funny if your on his good side if not,he'll make your life here living hell."

"He sounds delightful." Dylan laughs and pats me on the back passing me a key so I can get back in later. He shrugs his blazer on while we walk out and I notice he has a blue trim on his. Third year.

"I'm in the same building you'll be in at the time for lunch so just wait outside for me unless you can't under certain circumstances." Having someone talk so formally in everyday conversation is strange but I'll get used to it.

We walk through the yard and to a large building, through the doors and to the end of the hall. "Wait outside the room and line up until Johnson comes to get you and you stand until he tells you to sit, understand?" I nod my head rolling my eyes. "You need to sort your uniform out." I shrug.

I like it this way. He leaves and I watch him be kissed by a fifth year. He looks at the floor, the boys hand on the back of Dylan's neck. It's a weird interaction to watch, really. A boy taps me on the shoulder as we line up, around twenty other people here now.

"Hi!"

"Do I know you?" I ask. He rolls his eyes, brushing his dark hair out of his eyes.

"I'm Zayn. And you are?"

"Harry."

"So who recommended the school to you?" He questions.

"My mums making me go. She won't tell me anything about it though so I don't know why she wants me to come here."

"Oh." He looks surprised by my answer. Seriously what does everyone know that I don't? "Good luck," he smirks when the bell goes.

I Worry at my lip and turn around, finding the teacher stood in front of me.

"Do your tie and tuck your shirt in. I'm not having a scruff in my classroom." I huff and tuck it in loosely and then tighten my tie a bit. "We're going to be great friends I'm sure of it, Mr?"

"Styles," I nod.

"You won't looks so smug at the end of the lesson," he mutters. I frown and follow him into the classroom.

"Where are our chairs?" Zayn asks from behind.

"What's your name?" His friend nudges him, muttering ' _he means your surname._ '

"Malik."

"Well, Mr. Malik, you do not need chairs for the moment." Mr. Johnson sighs. "How many people don't know what we teach here?" Im the only one to raise my hand. Johnson laughs. "Mr. Styles, what a surprise. To answer your impending questions, we teach the lifestyle of BDSM in this school." He and everyone else in the room watches for my reaction. They have to be joking, right? They aren't. They're completely serious. I know this goes on around the world but it never in Holmes Chapel. Maybe this was something I was denied the knowledge of.

" I didn't get a say in whether I came to this school, I'm not gay yet here I am, expected to kneel at another guys feet, take it up the arse!" I snap. "Fuck this, I'm leaving." I jiggle the door handle only to find it locked.

"I know it can be a bit of a shock, Styles, but you should really calm down. We do not appreciate that kind of language." I bang my fists against the door. I feel like I can't breathe. "I wish to speak to you after class, Styles," he says quietly, voice softer now.

My eyes sting with angry tears. Mum made me do this. Does she know what type of school this is? Fuck my life. An elbow to my side breaks me out of my own mind.

"Sir wants you." It's Zayn.

"Are you okay?" It's the teacher now though.

"I feel like I'm going to be sick," I mutter when Johnson comes closer. He leads me to a window at the back of the class and puts the bin next to me.

"I'll check on you in a minute. If you need anything shout me okay?" I murmur something in agreement but he seems to hear it and walks away.

I try to listen to what he's saying to the rest of the class to distract myself from any bad thoughts and so I know what my mums got me into. I swear when I get out of here, I'm going to kill her.

"So today, we'll focus on the basics of being a good submissive and the language you may hear around school. You'll be assigned your dominant's and will go to meet your counsellor. They will be there to guide you through your relationship and contract. Any questions or concerns, you will talk to your Dom but if you're uncomfortable you may speak to a teacher or preferably your counsellor. I will get you all seated in the way you're expected. Malik, c'mere." I hear footsteps and Zayn comes into view. His head is bowed and Johnson's hand is on his shoulder.

"Get on your knees." I stare, horrified, as Zayn complies easily, sinking to the floor gracefully. "Open your legs a bit wider. Arms on your thighs. Shoulders back, there's a lad!" Johnson's smiling a hand on Zayn's shoulder.

"This is how we expect you to sit in this lesson or when you're asked to kneel. Dominant's will have their own rules, though I will go over the basics. Sit down as Mr. Malik is where you are for now. Malik you can move over to sit with your friends." Johnson moves over to a blackboard and picks up chalk, writing with his back to the class. Around the corner of the wall I can see a couple of the lads sat down as instructed. How are they going along with this so easily?

Then again, they weren't forced by their mum without knowing what was happening. My head is pounding, blood rushing in my ears. I groan and bang my head against the wall. I want to leave.

"Do you need to go to the nurses office, Mr. Styles?" I bring the bin closer to me and rest my head in my hands, shaking my head no.

"Okay. So the basic rules are: 1, don't look into your dominant's eyes unless told to. You shall do the same for other dominants. 2, you will kneel at your Dom's feet when they're sat down. 3, no cursing. 4, you will call your Dom whatever they want you to. Whether that is Sir, Master or in some cases daddy. 5, you will follow any additional rules they have, whether that be that you cook the meals, you clean the house. You do it."

I watch as a hand pops up.

"Sir, what are we doing about the sleeping arrangements?"

"You shall move in with your Dom's on Friday or Saturday. You'll stay with them for a week before you decide whether you want to move back into your dorm, although it's recommended that you stay. I will leave you to exchange names whilst I check on Mr. Styles. How're you feeling?" He asks as he walks over to me. He sits next to me and sighs.

"Dizzy. Horrible."

"Scared?" He has a hint of a smile on his face when I look at him.

"Pissed off."

"Language. Listen-"

"Harry."

"Harry, I ask you one thing, go into this with an open mind, you'll get so much more out of it and find the rest of your school time here easier. Can you try?"

"I don't see why I should! I don't even like boys yet you expect me to submit to one."

"Submission, isn't about sexual favours, Harry. It's about giving your trust to another person, giving them the opportunity to take care of you. I don't see that as a bad thing. The Dom's for this class are going to be here soon. So when you're feeling okay, I expect you to come and sit with the others in the way Malik showed. If you are still sat here when they arrive, I will explain before anyone misunderstands. Does that sound okay?"

I nod my head, feeling weaker and smaller than I have in a long time.

"Hey, we're not going to make you feel bad for anything you do. I will talk to your dominant after class, too." He smiles and stands up going to the front of the class again.

"I'd like you to sit in alphabetical order, leave a space for Mr. Styles." He reads out the register, everyone kneeling in the order. I sit for a few more minutes before the dizziness subsides but then I hear the door open and a long line of older students walk in, and the wooziness and bile rises again. I zone out while Mr. Johnson talks, until my name is called.

"Harry Styles is the submissive of Louis Tomlinson." I watch along the line to see any signs of who it is. "Louis, Harry's not very well." And Louis walks over to me, frowning sadly.

"Have you got a bug?" He asks when he sits down. I avoid his eye contact. "You can look at me, y'know. I'm not like that."

"I don't want to look at you," I sigh.

"Don't be like that. What's up with you?"

"It's a bit of a shock to the system," I shrug.

"You didn't know?" I shake my head.

"Oh, well we can work with that. That means I get to go over my rules with you and you can get a good perspective of what we want you to do." We sit and listen to Sir explain a few things. Halfway through his little speech about care and respect, Louis puts his hand on my knee.

"Now, the room to the left of us will be used to demonstrate a few things if anyone is willing to do so at the moment if not, you have some free time with your partner until your go to counselling." He goes and sits at the back of the class, taking his phone out. His face lights up when he answers. Louis turns to me, excitement in his face.

"I'm Louis Tomlinson, third year. You're Harry Styles, first year. I'd like you to call me sir, but as I know you're very new to this, you can call me Louis in private but in the company of others it's sir or master. Understand?" I nod sadly. I just want to go home. "I need to hear you say it."

"I understand." I hate the way my voice is wet with tears. The hand on my knee rubs soft circles.

"Why're you so worried? Hmm? I'll look after you."

"I'm not gay."

"I never said you were, love." I look up at him and wow- if I'm not gay I'm at least curious. He does look very handsome, slightly rugged yet soft in a way I've never seen before.

"I want to go over a few things with you okay? First of all," he adds when I don't answer him. "Words and consent are huge for me. I ask you a question, you answer it even if it's rhetorical. It keeps you in the habit. Secondly, if I ask you for your colour do you know what I mean?" I shake my head bleakly, looking at my shoes again. His hand pinches my thigh gently. "Words."

"No, I don't understand." He smiles and rubs his thumb over where he pinched.

"Good. Now, if I ask you for your colour, green is good, consenting, you're happy with everything that is going on. Yellow means you're unsure, want things to slow down. Like a pause button. Red is when everything has to stop in that very second because you dislike that situation so greatly. This can be in a scene or in everyday things. I will respect any boundaries you have, Harry. Colour?"

"Green," I shrug.

"Do you know what hard limits and soft limits are?"

"I can guess."

"Try your best."

"I'm gonna say that a hard limit is something you're really against and a soft limit is something you're okay with?"

"Nearly, Harry. A soft limit is when you're unwilling or unable to do something at the moment but will try in the future. I'm going to go slowly into this with you, Harry, I don't want to push anything onto you. If you're ever uncomfortable with something I will sit and reason with you, even if that's during a punishment." I gulp at the mere thought of what that entails. His hand caresses my cheek.

"Don't look so worried, the most I'll give you this week is a time out or a spanking. Nothing too harsh unless you've done something really bad."

"I feel faint," I whisper.

"Would you feel better outside?" He asks, concern laced into his voice. I nod my head weakly. "Sir, m'gonna take Harry outside, see if fresh air will do him good."

Johnson gives him the thumbs up and Louis leads me outside, to sit on a park bench. My stomach churns when I stand though and my head hurts worse than before. "You're okay, sit down. I'll get you some Ibuprofen for you to take. You're not allergic or anything are you?"

"No, m'not."

"See," he smiles widely and his eyes crinkle at the sides. "You're learning already." I blush and let my gaze linger over his mouth before I look at the others through the windows in the room.

Some are kissing; there are a few boys being pulled over an older boys lap; Zayn is sat happily on a tall, muscular boys lap. "Do you know Zayn?" Louis asks when he looks where I am.

"Yeah, met him before. Seems alright," I shrug.

"You should make friends with him, I'm friends with his Dom, Liam," he suggests.

It makes me think of my friends back home. Oh god, I miss them already. I didn't have man you but everyone knew me, knew how I was but now I'm stuck here with this Louis guy who's smaller than me but expects me to submit to him. We sit in silence for a while longer until puts a gentle hand on my back.

"Harry, could you kneel for me? I don't want you to hurt your knees so kneel on the grass, please." He points his hand over to the grass next to another plain bench.

"I don't have to kneel for you. I'm not your fucking slave!" I protest when he tugs on my arm.

"I know you're new to this but is kneeling as bad as you make it?" I nod my head. "What if I sit down with you, so I'm not leering over you like some creep, hey?" I shrug.

I guess that'd make it better, being on the same level as someone gives them less chance to gain power over you, though secretly I know Louis has somehow managed to gain control. He brings me over to the grass and sits cross legged before gently pulling me down. He moves me around with his hands and sighs contently when he's done.

"How d'you feel, Harry?"

"Weird, Louis."

"Do you feel better than when I was stood up?" I nod my head and he flicks my arm. "Words."

"Yeah," I say on a shaky breath.

"Good boy," he smiles. And there is that feeling, the bile rising from my stomach to my throat.

"Do you know what BDSM stands for, Harry?" I have a vague idea but I want to know what I'm getting myself into.

"No."

"The B stands for bondage, you know like tying you up and stuff. Don't worry, we won't do it if you don't like it," he adds when my eyes go wide.

"The D stands for discipline and dominance. I guess you know what I mean by that, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"The S stands for submission and sadism and the M stands for masochism. We'll talk more about the last two when we're with the counsellor. Colour?" It takes a moment for me to realise what he wants.

"Green." God, this'll be the death of me.

"Have you got any questions? I'm going to sit on this bench though, so you can feel how it usually is." The shift in power is horrible, he's a level up and I don't like it. I like being in control. This is not in control.

"Why do we have a contract?" I ask quietly.

"That's so we know what you and I have both agreed is okay to do what is a maybe and what is a big no. I suspect because you're new that a lot will be red but we'll negotiate, yeah?"

"Yeah." It hits me like a ton of bricks, I've been belittled in a matter of minutes by almost everyone. At home everyone was scared of me, wouldn't mess with me.

But I'm fresh meat here, kneeling at this guys feet like I'm going to give him a suck. Which God no. My mouth is going nowhere near any male reproductive organs. For now, my subconscious sneers.

"You okay Haz?" And I break. It reminds me of Gemma. Just they way he said it sounded familiar. She cried when I left, sad that her baby brother was leaving. Does she know what this school is?

"I want to go home, Louis!" I cry. I dig the heels of my hands into my eyes to stop the tears from falling but they do anyway. "Hey, now, Harry, it's okay. You're going to be okay," he soothes and runs his hands through my hair. "We're going to talk about why you're so upset and then we're going to go back inside because class is nearly over and sir wants to speak to us. How does that sound Harry?"

"I don't want to talk."

"What did I say about communicating with me? That's how we keep this safe and consensual. Don't tell me no, either," he tuts and pulls on my hair a bit. I hiss out a breath. "You can lean your head on me if you'd like." I take up his offer and rest my head on his knee. "So, what's gotten you so worked up?"

"I don't like it here. I was made to come here, not knowing anything. It's my last chance too, so I can't screw it up. I miss my sister and my friends. I can't do this. I need to leave!" I panic trying to get up.

"No you don't, listen to me, who's your room mate?" He holds his hands on my shoulders, preventing me from escaping.

"Dylan, I don't know his last name." I describe him as best as I can.

"He's a nice lad. He's a submissive too, I'm sure if you spoke to him about how you feel he'd understand. I admit, you've had a rough start but we'll look after you, every single person here is safe, even if they're being punished. Now, let's dry up the tears and we'll go inside."

"I don't like this at all," I say as I wipe my eyes. "I'm used to deciding everything for myself. It's weird to not have to."

"Bad or good weird?"

"Bad. I think," I sigh. Louis combs his fingers through my hair again.

"Well, keep your opinion neutral until you've had at least two weeks trial. Does that sound okay?" I nod my head but he's not accepting that. He pinches the skin on my neck.

"Fuck, Louis! Yes that sounds okay."

"Language, Harry." I feel like an idiot. "C'mon, back to class. Stand up slowly, don't want you being sick or anything," he smiles lightly, helping me up.

When we go back in the split is clear. There's four rows each with five chairs. The dominants are sat on the chairs and they all have their subs kneeling at their feet. Louis strides over to the space reserved for me. He sits down and smiles encouragingly at me. I can feel everyone's eyes one me, even subs are staring when I look around. I want to cry again.

"Harry, sit down," Louis orders, tugging on my blazer. I clunk onto my knees not-so-softly and wince at the impact. "Good boy." I feel my cheeks heat up horribly and I want to crawl into a hole and hide Forever.

"I think we've had a very good lesson today, students. We had a surprise with Mr. Styles being a new comer to the whole lifestyle but I hope you will take him under your wing and look after him. Make him feel welcome. If anyone has any questions, we have twenty minutes for you to get to counselling so you can ask me then. You're dismissed. Not you two," he says and I know he's talking about me and Louis. We wait until everyones left and Mr. Johnson calls us to his desk. I shock both of them by getting a chair to sit on but Louis doesn't say anything.

"We're not going to rush you into things Harry, I appreciate how much you tried today despite how ill you felt and how new you are. Now, your mother has spoken to me over the phone and told me that you're a tough nut to crack. I respect that but I just want to check you're okay. How're you feeling?" Mr.Johnson  over explains everything when he talks and it's quite annoying.

"'M fine. I don't want to be here. Shit happens and you have to deal with it." Louis smacks my thigh. "Stop hitting me, for Christ's sake! I don't care if it's my last chance, I'll happily walk out of the gates and put this behind me."

"See. I didn't get any chat back when you were kneeling. You were rather serene. I'd like you to kneel from now on," Louis says calmly. I roll my eyes. Not going to happen. I huff and stand up.

"Where are you going Harry?"

"Thought we had counselling?" I sneer and walk out, storming towards the exit. I can hear Louis running after me before I see him.

"Stop being such a brat, Harry!" He shouts when he has hold of my collar. I try to act unaffected, blinking at Louis.

"What would you have done if you were forced to come here by your parents hey?"

"I was. Now that's enough of this. Counselling is this way," he snaps and grabs my wrist, pulling me along after him. I'm left dumbfounded by his answer and let him drag me along. "I swear if you weren't new, I'd skip this session and make sure you couldn't sit down for the rest of the week." I gulp, knowing his threat isn't empty at all.

"You call me sir in here. Okay?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Sir," I frown.

"Better."

No it's really, really not.

"Sir?" I mumble.   
"Hm?"  
"Sorry. I'm not good witth new people."


	2. Chapter 2

We walk in and there is a wide, open room with desks and people everywhere. Louis leads me over to a desk in the back, right corner of the room. There is a man who looks to be in his mid-thirties dressed smartly, smiling and greeting Louis.

"John Paul, this is Harry. Harry this is John Paul. Sit down, love." _So now he's nice?_ I sit down in the chair, wanting to laugh when I hear Louis curse under his breath. He moves away and comes back with another, sitting beside me.

"So what've we got here?" John Paul asks.

"He's been sent here by his mum, he didn't know anything about this school or BDSM before he arrived today. I want to go easy but he's really making my hand twitch," Louis laughs. John Paul laughs too and I want to curl up in a ball and cry. "You okay Harry?" Louis asks and puts a hand in my knee.

"Don't laugh at me," I say weakly. "Oh, love we weren't laughing at you, it's a humour that you get kind of used to in this school. I promise I'll never laugh at your expense. How's that sound? What's your colour?"

"Green, sir." The word tastes strange in my mouth.

"Good boy," he smiles squeezing my leg.

"You can call me Johnny," John Paul says after Louis stops talking. "I'm here to help you whenever you need it, if it's in the middle of the night or middle of the day, I won't be bothered. I am yours and Louis' counsellor. Today we will get you both to do a contract, like a test it has some activities and you write yes or no according to whether you'd like to participate in them. Does that sound simple enough?"

"Yeah." He hands us both a sheet of paper and a pencil.

Write yes / no / maybe to the right of the activity. You may annotate if you wish to do so.

Age play- no

Anal sex - no

Anal plugs (small) - no

Anal plugs (large) - no

Anal plug (public, under clothes) - no

Animal roles - no

Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)- no

Asphyxiation - no

Bathroom use control - no

Beating (soft) - no

Beating (hard) - no

Blindfolds - no

Being bitten - no

Breath control - no

Bondage (light) - no

Bondage (heavy) - no

Bondage (public, under clothing)- no

Cages (locked inside of) - no

Caning - no Catheterization - no

Chastity belts - no

Chores (domestic service) - no

Clothespins - ?

Cock worship - no

Collars (worn in private) - no

Collars (worn in public) - no

Cuffs (leather)- no

Cuffs (metal)- no

Cutting- no

Diapers(wetting)- no

Diapers(soiling)- no

Dilation- no

Dildoes- no

Double penetration- no

Electricity- no

Enemas- no

Enforced chastity- no

Examinations (physical) - no

Exhibitionism (friends)- no

Exhibitionism (strangers)- no

Face slapping- no

Fantasy rape- no

Fantasy gang-rape - no

Fingering- no

Fisting (anal)- no

Flogging (light)- no

Flogging (heavy)- no

Following orders- no

Foot worship- no

Forced bedwetting- no

Forced masturbation- no

Forced nudity - no

Gags - no

Given away to another Dom (temp)- no

Golden showers- no

Hairbrush spankings- no

Hair pulling- no

Hand jobs (giving)- no

Hand jobs (receiving)- no

Harnessing - no

Having clothing chosen for you- no

Fellatio - no

Feminisation- no

Hot wax - no

Humiliation - no

Ice cubes- no

Kneeling- I'm already made to do this?

Knife play- no

Restraints- no

Lectures for misbehavior- no

Lingerie- no Massage (giving)- no

Massage (receiving)- no

Masturbation- no

Medical scenes- no

Modelling for erotic photos - no

Mummification- no

Nipple clamps- no

Nipple play- no

Nipple weights- no

Oral/anal play (rimming)- no

Over-the-knee spanking- no

Orgasm denial- no

Orgasm control- no

Outdoor scenes- no

Pain (severe)- no

Pain (mild)- no

Phone sex - no

Public exposure- no

Punishment Scene- no

Riding crops- no

Rubber/latex clothing- no

Rope body harness- no

Scratching - receiving- no

Sensory deprivation- no

Sex toys- no

Sexual deprivation (short term)- no

Sexual deprivation (long term)- no

Shaving (body hair)- no

Shaving (head hair)- no

Skinny dipping- no

Sleep deprivation- no

Sounding- ?

Spanking- no

Speculums (Anal)- no

Spreader bars- no

Stocks- no Straight jackets- no

Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)- no

Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)- no

Strap-on-dildos (wearing)- no

Strapping (full body beating)- no

Suspension - no

Swallowing semen- no

Swallowing urine- no

Swallowing feces- no

Teasing- no

Tickling- no

Verbal humiliation- no

Vibrator on genitals- no

Voyeurism (watching others)- no

Video (watching others)- no Video (recordings of you)- no

Wearing symbolic jewelery- no

Whipping- no

Wooden paddles - no.

I hand John the paper back and he laughs a bit.

"Hey, he told you not to laugh, so don't laugh!" Louis snaps. John nods and shows Louis my paper.

"How fitting," John muses.

"Are you almost done, Louis?"

"Yeah one sec. Harry can you put yes to three at least? Not everything on there is sexual."

"Why should I put any in the first place?"

"We've gone over this, Harry. Now stop being stupid and do what I've said!"

I take the paper and rub out a few of the things changing three no's to yes's on Masturbation, Kneeling and Hair pulling. I couldn't find anything else that'd be better so I have to go with that. Great.

"Done." John smiles at me.

"Thank you for cooperating. You can have Louis' list to read over," he says and gives me Louis'.

He's said yes to most. I realise that he has a different list, so his is all about 'forcing your sub to-' or 'spanking your sub' instead of mine.

"Once you've moved into mine, Harry we'll have a play room and we'll have a copy of every contract we make on the wall, so we can refer to it before a scene. Does that sound okay?"

"Who says I'm going to do a scene with you?" I frown.

"I won't hesitate to take you over my lap, y'know," he huffs.

"But Louis, I said no and if we're going to refer to the contract that means you're being disrespectful of my views and dislikes. I thought that wasn't accepted here?"

"Add two more yes' and a punishment then you can go," John says.

For fuck sake. I add yes to blindfolds and- shit. I can't find anything to put! Nor do I want to choose a punishment. I add yes to collars ( private) and over- the - knee - spanking.

"'M done." I want to cry even more now than I did at the start. You can tell by the way my voice shakes, too.

"Nothing to get upset about, love," Louis soothes, a firm hand on my back pulling me to sit on his knee. "John can you get us the copy and see if Harry is allowed to move in earlier than others. I think we could really benefit from it."

"Louis, just text your dad, he'd approve it straight away," John says. Louis' dad? I'm too busy to focus on what's said next because I start crying for real, wetting Louis shirt with my tears.

"What has you so upset, hey?" He asks as if he's speaking to a child. "What did you choose to say yes to, Harry?"

"M-masturbation, kneeling, hair pulling, blindfolds and collars in private."

"And which of them is a punishment?" Louis smiles, hand running up and down my spine. "Did you choose another one?" "Being spanked over your knee," I sniffle.

"There you go, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He says gently. "Want to come and sit in the corner with the couches? They're very comfy."

"Yes please." He stands me up and wipes my eyes with his blazer.

"Good boy, now we can't be seen by as many people. You're not into humiliation, so?" I smile at his attempt at making me feel better. We sit on the couch together, Louis not arguing when I don't kneel.

"Thank you, Louis."

"Not Louis here," he reminds softly.

"Thanks, sir."

"Do you want me to tell you about the things you put a question mark next to?"

"Please."

"Well, clothes pins are usually used to attach to a sensitive bit of skin so if you're into pain and you rip them off while you're having an orgasm it makes it very intense. Sounding is where you put something, usually like a steel rod into your urethra. It makes you very sensitive and it may fall under the category of humiliation or medical play too." John comes back and hands us a copy of the contract.

"Your next appointment is tomorrow at eight. I'm very excited to see how both of you handle this. See you tomorrow," he says happily. Me and Louis walk out of the room and I stop.

"What's wrong, Harry?"

"Dylan asked me to meet him out here if I could, y'know so he could sit with me at lunch."

"We'll be sitting with Liam today. If Dylan has a problem with that then he can bring it to his Dom and his Dom can speak to me about it. Okay?"

"Yes sir." He smiles and takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together.

"Then we can go to my house. I don't live in the dorms, neither does Liam. We're a few minutes walk from the school, but we're still on campus."

"Oh. Why don't you live in the dorms?"

"My- erm. My step- dad owns the school. So he enrolled me and got me a better house for when I got my sub. You. Liam's a very close family friend so my dad did the same for him. No more questions, go and sit with Liam, I'll get your lunch." I don't even question it, I feel so exhausted I just agree and thank him, stalking over to Zayn and Liam.

"Louis told me to come and sit over here," I say quietly.

"Nice to meet you, Harry. I'm Liam and I believe you already know Zayn?"

"Yes, it's good to meet you." I don't think I've ever said that to someone before. He smiles and kisses Zayn's forehead. When Louis comes over he only has one tray but he has two of everything, a BBQ chicken panini and a cake with a bottle of water. "Sorry if you don't like it, I just ordered what I usually get," he says.

"It's fine, better than my old school lunches," I shrug.

"Good. After you've eaten I'd like to take you to get your things. My dad said its okay for you to move in now," he says casually.

"What happened to moving slow?"

"It'll be better for you, help you improve quicker!" Louis persists.

"What happened to going slow, Louis?" I grit out.

"You're moving in Harry and that's final. Eat your food I'm not in the mood to spank you in front of everyone," he warns. I eat my food so I don't have to speak. Liam and Louis converse while me and Zayn sit silently. Liam and Zayn leave first.

"We'll see you later, yeah?" Liam asks as he walks away. Louis nods and smiles waving the couple off. He turns to me.

"I know you don't like it here but not eating isn't going to help." He gets me to eat over half of my panini and my cake.

"Good boy," he says softly, throwing our rubbish in the bin. We walk together across the yard and I blush when we walk past the spot we were in for first lesson, when I knelt and Louis sat on the bench. Louis notices and his face breaks out into a grin. He doesn't say anything thankfully.

"So, tell me why you're being made to come here?" Louis asks as we walk.

"I got into fights in my old schools, basically just a little shit and got kicked out and mum wanted me out of her hair, so she didn't have to worry about me and so she sent me here," I shrug.

"I'm glad that she did," Louis says carefully, waiting for my reaction.

"I'm not." I hear Louis sigh as I walk ahead of him and open my door, walking in and sitting on my bed.

"What happened to not judging this until two weeks later?" He asks and sits on the bed next to me. He puts one of my pillows in the floor.

"Kneel on the pillow for me, Harry." His voice is firm and sharp but not annoyed. Once I'm knelt down he smiles and stands up. This makes it even worse. He walks to behind me and taps my back.

"Keep your back straight. Legs open wider." He nudges my legs open when he's in front of me. "How does it feel now that I'm stood up?"

"Bad," I frown. He smiles. "Does that make you happy you sick bastard?"

"Language, Harry! No it makes me happy that you're doing as you're told and answering my questions. I'm going to make a rule to stop you swearing. Right, starting tomorrow every time you swear you get five spanks. I will do them all at the end of the day, so watch your mouth."

"Yes sir." I want to be sick again and the lunch in my stomach isn't helping.

"Good boy. Now I'm gonna pack your suitcase for you to move into my place. Stay kneeling there."

I sit quietly while Louis potters about and packs for me. At least I don't have to do that. Good job looking on the bright side there Harry.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm done. Do you want to leave a note for Dylan?"

"Please."

"You can get up, carefully. You did very well sitting still for me, Harry," he praises. I find a post it note and pen after rooting through Dylan's desk.

_**Hi, barely know you, but thought you should know I've moved in with my Dom. That's also why I couldn't have lunch with you, sorry. See you around? -Harry.** _

"Good boy for apologising," Louis says as he reads it over my shoulder. He sticks it on Dylan's bed. "C'mon now, we can get you settled in before tea." I follow him silently and he takes my key throwing it on the bed. We walk for a few more minutes turning corner after corner and then there's a road, which only has a few houses on, all large and separate from each other which is odd. Louis walks over to the one at the far end of the road.

"This is my house, Liam's is the one straight across. Then my step dads is at the other end." He opens the door and let's me in, taking my suitcase off of me. He gets me to kick off my shoes and let's me look around. It's certainly big, modern. The ceilings are high and the rooms are bright and open.

"I'll show you downstairs later. For now, let me show you the bedrooms." I follow him upstairs and he goes into the room on the left. "This is mine," he says as if I couldn't guess that. It seems unnecessarily large for one person, but I have to remind myself that it was built in mind for two. He puts the suitcase in a closet on the far wall and then leads me to another room.

"This is an isolation room. It will be used to punish you when we form a bond. For now I don't think you'd mind it too much. But soon this'll seem worse than any spanking," he says seeming lost in thought. Maybe he knows from experience? "Also, it may be used if you're struggling with a sexual deprivation punishment." I don't know how to explain it, I don't want to have sex with Louis but I don't want to be 'sexually deprived'.

"This is our playroom," he says and opens the door with a key that was in his pocket. Why does he keep it locked? He opens it and holy shit! The walls are red and there are restraints and bits of equipment everywhere. I don't know the name of a lot of them but I don't think I want to for now. There's a dresser made out of dark pine wood. There's a four poster bed with red drapes, the wood the same as the dresser's. Everything's very organised.

The smell of wood and leather invades my senses.

"Obviously we don't always have to use this room if you're not comfortable with it. But I'd prefer to do any scenes in here. If you'd ever like to do a scene or anything sexual all you have to do is tell me and I'll see to it that the contract is changed accordingly. You got all that?"

"Yes sir." He smiles widely and wraps his arms around me. I go stiff in his hold. 

"Don't tense up. It's only me, I'm not going to hurt you," he soothes.

"He says as we stand in a room with whips and paddles and things specifically designed to inflict pain," I say sarcastically. "Less of your cheek," he says but he's laughing. "I know it seems a bit odd and sometimes people who've been doing it for years don't understand why they like it, they just know they do." He untangles his arms from mine and walks over to the drawers. "I'm right to remember you said yes to blindfolds and collars, yeah?"

"Yeah," I mumble embarrassed. He smiles softly and roots through the drawers.

"Want you to be used to both of them. Now c'mere." He gets me to follow him to the living room. "Kneel for me." I drop to my knees, hurting the bruises I made earlier. He places a kiss to my neck where he attaches the collar and gently scrapes his teeth along my jaw.

"Colour?"

"Green."

And I hate how scratchy my voice has become. I look down in shame only to look back up because a bulge in my jeans is not something I want to see.

"Y-yellow," I choke out.

"Hey, it's okay. Nothing to be ashamed of, yeah? You're okay, it's only me. Stupid Louis who didn't think to undress you before this. What do you want me to do?" I close my eyes and let a few tears roll down my cheeks.

"Gre- green." He presses a soft kiss to my head.

"Good boy. I'm not going to do anything, okay? Just put your blindfold on then get your kit off. You can keep your underwear on if you want to."

"Please." He gently ties the blindfold around my head, careful not to catch any curls in the knot. He slides my blazer off and I hear him move away. It's weird not being able to see what's happening. I jump when he puts his hand on my chest.

"It's okay, love. You've got to be getting a bit hot in that, right?"

"Yes sir."

"Good boy." He slowly unbuttons my shirt and takes that away too. The cool air is lovely against the heat of my skin. "You think you can stand up for me?" I try my best, on wobbly legs and I have to hold onto Louis because I can't see but I do okay. "You're doing amazing, Harry." My hips buck when his hands find my zipper. "Stay still, love," I can hear his smile in his voice. He unbuttons them and pulls them down slowly, so he doesn't take my boxers with them he holds my waist while I step out so I don't fall and crack my skull on something. "Kneel for me." I sink down, more gently than before.

"Very good, Harry. Now, what got you so upset before?" I'm glad that I have the blindfold on so I don't have to see how ridiculous I look or face Louis while I speak.

"I'm not gay, Louis." There's a silence and then I remember. "Sir." "

Well done," he says lightly.

"I'm not gay or - I don't know what I am but I've just always assumed I was straight so to react like this is-" I try to think of a word.

"Normal. It's completely normal. You got aroused Harry. That's not odd behaviour. It's also very flattering. We'll talk to John Paul about it tomorrow yeah?"

"Yes sir." I can hear Louis' footsteps come closer towards me and he stops when I can feel him beside me. His fingers play with the collar on my neck.

"Beautiful." It's weird to hear, I've never been called beautiful before. "Absolutely gorgeous. I'm going to sit you in the couch, okay?"

"Yeah." He helps me up and sits me down nicely on the couch. My skin feels on fire when he touches me.

"There you go, you're okay," he says, muttering reassuring words. "You're very hard. Must hurt that, Harry." I whimper as his fingers dance over my chest and squeeze and twist my nipples. "It does, I bet you it does. Tell me Harry, does it hurt?" I squeeze my eyes shut and nod my head. My hands are clenched on pillows either side of me. "You can touch yourself. I think I'm gonna keep playing with these, pretty little nipples," he says and twists one.

"Ahh!" My back arches towards him, my hand working over myself quickly.

"Bet you could come just from me playing with these, Harry. What if I got my mouth on you?" I moan loudly. "So good for me, Harry." He sucks the skin into his mouth, lapping over it to sooth it. He repeats it on the other side of my chest and bites bruises and love bites into my skin. The heat is building in my stomach and I whimper as I come and Louis bites down on my nipple. It's amazing, lovely.

But then I'm all to aware of Louis, the boy who just helped me get off. I'm all too aware of the fact I'm crying now and I still have the blindfold on and the collar. I yank and pull at them to get them off but the collar just chokes me and the knot in the blindfold gets tighter.

"Get them off! Get them off of me!"I bawl. I hate how desperate I am, needing Louis to do things for me because I let him make me this vulnerable.

"You need to stay still then or I can't get them off, Harry," he says calmly. But I can't calm down, I'm freaking out and I feel like I may actually be sick right now. And that thought scares me because my boxers are around my thighs, a collar around my neck and a blindfold over my eyes so there's no way I'd be able to make it to the toilet. Then I'll be sick all over myself and I don't like sick, not at all. Fuck.

Louis wraps his arms around me and tries to pull me in but I wrestle out of his grip before I do the worst thing.

I throw up, all down my own front, choking and heaving and crying and- oh god, I'm a mess. And then the sick on me makes me want to be sick again. So I do. The next time I throw up Louis is holding a bucket for me to throw up into and directing my head towards it. I'm still now, so I'm not splattering sick everywhere, so Louis takes the opportunity to take off my blindfold and collar. The light in the room hurts my eyes and my throat burns from heaving any and all food out of my body until I'm bringing up stomach acid and bile. The whole time Louis is there, hand on my back and pushing my hair away from my forehead, whispering sweet words.

"Do you think you're all done?" He asks kindly. I nod my head, not feeling up to talking. "Let's get you cleaned up and then I'll take you to the nurse." He stands me up and brings me to the bathroom. I slump onto the toilet, crying harder when I see my cum smeared on my hand and stomach.

"You're okay, nothing to be ashamed of, we both had a good time, right?" He asks, sounding a little doubtful. "You had a good time right?"

"Up until the panicking, yes." He seems happy with my answer and turns the shower on. He pulls my boxers off my legs and gets me to stand in the shower.

"You don't mind me coming in do you? I'd rather me wash you than you right now."

"I don't mind, no." He smiles gratefully and steps in with me after getting undressed. I stand under the stream of warm water while he washes me gently with shower gel and peppers my skin with kisses.

"Stop crying, Harry. You're making me worried," he sighs when I start sniffling again.

"'M sorry. Thought it's good for me to let my emotions out?" I spit turning my back on him.

"Oh for fuck sake, Harry. Don't do this now, while you're ill." I elbow away his attempts of holding me and get out after washing my hair. I dry myself quickly and walk into the closet with my suitcase in. I choose what's on top; a pair of black boxers, grey joggers and a baggy black t shirt. I change quickly, grabbing my iPod and headphones from my bag. I have no where to go, that's the thing.

This is his house. I could try Liam? I know I don't really know him but I know Zayn and maybe they'd let me in. Deciding that's the best place to go for now, I put on my shoes and run out of the house, shutting the door quietly. It's cold out now and it looks like it's going to rain. The perfect weather to reflect my mood. I go to knock and then I think it over, I tell them I want to stay there for a bit and they'll ask why. I don't want to tell anyone about that so I turn away and let myself walk freely. About five minutes into my walk the heavens open and the rain comes down heavily, soaking me through again and making my sweatpants dark. My music keeps me company as I carry on walking. When I turn the corner to the school there are still couples everywhere. I get a few funny looks and I hide when John Paul walks past, on the phone.

"No Louis, I haven't seen Harry. What's happened?" He stops and turns his head to look around. "I can come over to yours now. Okay calm down. Have you checked Liam's house? Oh, okay. See you in a sec, Louis. Whack the kettle on for us." I feel bad for leaving him like that but I've known him for less than a day and he's managed to manipulate me into doing stuff like that with him. I didn't want to do it did I?

I shuffle out of my hiding place when John Paul moves. It's raining worse now and most people have moved inside. There's a tree in the corner of the yard so I stalk towards that, slumping against the trunk with my arms crossed over my chest. I listen to the script for hours, hidden from anyone who looks for me. I fall in and out of sleep until a loud bell goes, people filing out of the school and heading in one direction, the dining room. I look out for Liam, Zayn, Louis or John Paul. But I don't see them until everyone else is cleared. They walk spread about, even Zayn walks alone. They've split up, walking in different directions and Zayn is walking towards me. I stand up carefully and weave between the other trees to keep my cover from being blown.

"Harry?"


	4. Chapter 4

I hold my breath.

"You're shit at hiding mate,"Zayn laughs and comes to stand in front of me.

"Did a good job of it so far," I shrug. He shakes his head.

"Louis' really worried y'know? He came over to Liam's like half dressed to ask if you were there. Just go back to him, Harry. It's only been a day, nothing that bad could've happened." I stay silent. "Hide, Liam's coming over," he frowns. I move out of eyesight and watch as Liam grabs Zayn's arm.

"What took you so long?"

"Thought I saw him, sir, I never. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, just a bit worried for Lou's sake." They walk out together telling Louis that I'm not here.

"Where is he Liam?" Louis asks. "How did I lose him? He's really fucking tall and takes up so much space with his long fucking limbs and I managed to lose him. My dads going to kill me." He doesn't sound angry just sad and disappointed and that's worse in my book.

"He couldn't of gotten out of the school grounds so we're obviously not looking in the right places."

"John can you carry on looking and talk to him? He'll tell you what exactly happened if he wants. If not its not really my place," Louis says.

"Of course. You guys go get your dinner, I'll call you if I have any news." I listen to them walk away and hear a thud beside me. "You're an idiot. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know." He looks at me and smiles.

"Did you not play hide and seek as a kid?"

"No." He frowns and looks back at his watch.

"If we go to my office now, we can talk in private and you can avoid Louis for a while longer?" He offers.

"Sounds like a deal," I laugh and stand up. I follow him back to his office, sitting on one of the couches.

"So, what happened? Louis said you'd played and you freaked out a bit? Did you have to colour out?" He asks gently.

"No I never. I don't think I even thought to word out, y'know because I'm not used to having to." I leave it at that, not wanting to disclose any other information.

"Harry nothing will be resolved unless you tell me."

"I Erm, had a blindfold and a collar on and after I'd uh-"

"Climaxed?" I stare at my hands, feeling my face heat up.

"Yeah. After that I realised what'd just happened and I didn't like it one bit. I felt like I was suffocating. I tried to get the blindfold and collar off but couldn't and neither could Louis because I wouldn't sit still. Then I erm, threw up on myself and I have a phobia of sick so this obviously made matters worse. After my freak out session Louis took me to the shower and it was something he said. Told me to stop crying or something. God I sound like an idiot right now. I got annoyed because I don't cry in front of people and I've cried a lot today so it's like a big deal so for him to just tell me not to. I flipped, got dressed and left. I've been outside since," I shrug.

"Harry, don't do stuff like that again, you understand me? It will hurt you and Louis and anyone around you. You ever feel like that again you colour out and ring me to talk."

"I don't have a phone. It was taken when I arrived."

"Louis can approve and you can get it back. For now, I need to call your Dom."

"No!"

"Excuse me?" He laughs.

"Oh fuck off, John. You're not in charge of me. Neithers Louis."

"I know I'm not. Louis on the other hand is. And if we bend the rules slightly to put you on a tighter leash, well, Louis' dad runs this school and we can make sure it happens with no repercussions. You've been sent here for a reason Harry. I suggest you think about it."

"I don't want your suggestions," I huff.

"So do you want to talk more about it? Like why you freaked out anyway. Because I know you won't even try to lie when Louis' here, you'll just ignore me."

"No I don't want to talk about it, really."

"The longer we talk the longer you hold Louis off. And you know he'll make you talk about it." The smirk on his face let's me know that he knows he's won and it annoys me so much.

"What is there to talk about?" I ask and pull on a loose thread in my pants.

"Well the fact that you've been outside for hours in the rain and you're not dressed properly. And you said you freaked out when you realised what you'd done. What did you do that was so bad to make this happen?"

"I don't want to tell you what I did." He sighs. "Louis told you I don't need to. Surely that counts for something?"

"Because you respect what Louis tells you don't you?" I frown, knowing he's right and that I'm being hypocritical.

"I knelt for a bit with the collar and blindfold on and then- we spoke about something. Just why I got upset before that and-" "Why did you get upset before that?"

"I really don't want to talk about this. Not with you."

"I'm being payed to listen and help you with your problems, Harry. I'm not judging, just assessing the situation. But I can't if you don't tell me."

"Ask me questions because I don't want to mention things that don't need to be."

"Okay, good. First of all, you said you'd got upset and you spoke about that. What were you upset about?" John Paul gets out a notebook and a pen.

"I'd gotten upset because- I, uhm. I was hard and it made me question whether I was gay or not and I've been brought up to think of straight being like normal, I guess? So to think that it was because of a boy it freaked me out. My thoughts were so conflicted."

"Thank you for telling me. Now, you said you climaxed. What led to that? Tell me what you did and what Louis did to make that happen."

"He sat me on the couch and I was still in my underwear and he asked me to touch myself," I feel my cheeks burn as I stare intensely at the floor. "So I did and he, he played with my erm-" I pause and eventually just give up on continuing.

"Harry, I don't mean to poke fun but you can tell. You're wearing a white shirt and it's been raining. You'd have to be blind to not notice that Louis has a thing for you nipples. I think you'd feel better for saying it though. So tell me Harry, what exactly did Louis do?"

"Louis played with my nipples," I sigh, relief flooding through me.

"Good. What made you freak out afterwards?"

"It was just that I was sat there, come on my hand and stomach and my boxers around my thighs and he was just staring at me. I just got really embarrassed and I thought he'd think I was weird for liking it. He forced me to do it yet I was nervous about what he'd think." Johns face falls.

"He made you do it? What? Harry tell me right now how he made you do this."

"He made me feel like I couldn't say no."

"Did he ask for your colour?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever stop him and say yellow?"

"Yes."

"Did he stop when you said yellow? Did he help you when you panicked? Did he comfort you, ask you if you were alright? Did he reassure you that you were okay, safe with him? Did he hurt you in anyway you didn't want?"

"He stopped when I said yellow. He helped me, comforted me. He never hurt me." John looks more than pissed.

"Harry, never accuse someone of making you or forcing themselves on you unless they have, do you understand me? That's a serious allegation which would've had Louis kicked out of school and reported to the police. Why did you say that?"

"I dunno. I guess it's my way of excusing what I did?"

"Fuck, Harry. I'm going to have to tell Louis about this you know?" I nod my head sadly. The tears form in my eyes as he gets his phone out of his pocket, he rings Louis and puts it on speaker. I curl up, into a ball and tuck my head under a cushion, listening to Louis on the other side.

"Have you found him? Where is he? Is he okay?"

"Louis, I found him after you left but I wanted to talk to him. I knew he wouldn't talk honestly if you were here. And he is fine, he's in my office with me. We had an interesting talk, really. Full of revelations."

"What about?" "I got him to tell me why he was so upset when he realised he was hard, why he was so freaked afterwards and we haven't really spoken about the shower because I think that was just a bit of a temper tantrum. He also told me you made him do it." I wince and let the tears fall when I hear Louis' gasp for the other side of the line.

"I never- I hope he doesn't feel like I pressured him. God, I never! You don't think I did, do you?"

"No, I don't, Louis. Neither does Harry now. He admitted that maybe it was him trying to make sense of what you guys did." "Can I talk to him?"

"Yeah. Harry come on, he deserves for you to at least let him hear your voice." I sniffle and take the phone.

"Harry?"

"Hi, Louis."

"You okay?" He chokes out.

"I don't think I can do this Louis. I feel like I can't breathe. My life's been turned upside down in a matter of hours. I hate it here." I'm bawling now, clutching on to the pillow for dear life.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. You want me to come and get you?"

"Please?"

"Of course. I'll be there soon, lovely. Put me with Johnny please." I hand JohnPaul the phone and continue crying into the pillow.

"I'll see you in a minute Lou." He hangs up. "You did very well, Harry."

"No, I don't want _you_ to tell me that!" It springs to mind that I don't want him to say it. I want Louis to.

"Calm down, Harry. Don't want you to be sick again." And that makes everything a whole shit load worse. I start thinking I'm going to be and then I panic because that's already happened and- I rush towards the bin and throw up the contents of my empty stomach: bile and stomach acid.

"I'm so sorry," he says and goes to place a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me." I throw up once more before Louis comes through the door and another just after.

P"Oh, darling! We need to get you to the nurse." I cry into his hoody as he wraps his arms around me, combing his fingers through my hair. "You're okay. We're going to take you to the nurse, see if she can tell what's up with you and then we can go home. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"I know you are. And I will forgive you once I spank you tomorrow. C'mon dry your eyes." I sniffle and pull away.

"I don't want to be spanked," I pout.

"We'll talk about this later. For now though we can do what I've said and then talk about me spanking you. It's either that or I put heat rub on your bum."

"That wouldn't be that bad," I shrug. "I'll do both then, okay? Just walk slowly to the nurse with me. Say thank you to John Paul."

"Thanks for the help and not being a twat about it." Louis swats at my bum making me yelp.

"Stop swearing." I frown all the way to the nurses office.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ah, Louis what seems to be the problem?" The nurse asks when we go in. I sit down in the bed looking at the posters on the walls.

"Poor Harry's been throwing up. He threw up when he panicked a bit and then the second time Harry what happened?"

"John Paul mentioned me being sick and I have a phobia so I panicked and then started being sick again." The nurse frowns. "Just take it easy, y'know on any activities that may cause anxiety. Try to keep him as calm as possible and have him sip some boiled water and eat some dry toast before he goes to sleep. Keep hydrated. If you bring it up ring me and I'll visit your house." Louis smiles and thanks her, taking my hand and pulling me out of the room.

"You think you can manage staying calm? You don't have Mr. Johnson tomorrow, though I do think he'll pay us a visit in therapy. And we have the whole day to ourselves. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, 'm just really tired. Cold." He laughs.

"You can tell," he teases and pinches one of my nipples. I suck in a harsh breath.

"Not again," I whimper. It was manly though. A manly whimper.

"Oh love, I was only playing. They look very pretty though," he smiles. "All red and puffy. And everyone knows it's because of me."

"You're going to be the death of me," I laugh nervously. We walk home and I notice that my sick and mess from before has been cleaned. Louis makes me change into some warmer clothes and bundles me up in bed, switching the tv on. He comes up with my food and drink, setting it on the bedside table. We sit together and watch QI.

"So you never knew anything about this school?" He asks as I eat.

"No, mum hadn't told me much. She told me it had good success rates and it was an all boys boarding school," I shrug.

"I knew everything about this school when I started. My mum had married Mark, my step dad and we moved in here with him. A few years later they divorced and left. I stayed here because I'd grown used to it and didn't want to be the new kid again and again. Then when I was old enough to understand, he explained what the school was. Believe me, I didn't want to come either. My Dom was a prick as well," he laughs. "I was like you, except a bit less clueless. I wouldn't kneel at first and I was a stubborn little shit. I got that beaten out of me. But I became submissive to my Dom out of fear, not willingness. I told Mark and he was kicked out straight away. He made the rules a lot stricter to make sure that it wouldn't happen to anyone again and he got more counsellors. It was around a few months in when I was completely used to it here. I still didn't enjoy being a sub but I wasn't going to weasel my way out of the system because of Mark. He was adamant I followed the same path everyone else did. Then in your second year you take a test and are recommended whether you should continue to be a sub or train to be a Dom. You get a choice though. I chose dominant, obviously. You don't get a partner unless you carry on with your one from first year. You get someone to practice with sometimes but other than that it's all theory and a lot of history and psychology. It was a nice year. I can't imagine what I'd do if I knew nothing. You're handling it better than I expected, Haz. Just keep this up, minus the throwing up and running away. That made me scared."

"I know. I heard you talking to Liam."

"Where were you?"

"In the trees. I heard Zayn shout for me but he never saw me. John Paul however, did." I lie for Zayn in case he gets in trouble for lying to Liam. Louis nods and takes a swig of his tea.

"So what made you open up to John Paul?" He asks turning the telly down to listen to my answer.

"At first I wouldn't tell him anything. Told him about the collar and blindfold and the fact that I had an orgasm. Then he told me the more I talked the longer you'd be away and the longer you were away the more truthful I'd be or something. So I got him to ask me questions so I didn't tell him any unnecessary details. Then he asked me what we did to make me-" I let out a long breath. Calm down Harry, nothing you haven't already said and done.

"Come. What made you come," Louis supplies.

"Yeah. I told him that I touched myself and that you played with my nipples. I kinda struggled with that part though, which made him laugh because apparently it's obvious which, fuck Louis. I didn't even notice they were so dark."

"I could make them go darker," he smiles. I roll my eyes.

"No thanks. We spoke about me not being gay or not knowing what sexuality I am and why it freaked me out so much. That's it really," I shrug.

"Good. Do you feel better for talking about it?"

"Yeah."

"Good boy. I don't think we'll do that again for a little while yeah? Maybe just some normal stuff instead of the blindfold."

"I like the blindfold," I admit with a small voice. "I thought you'd be freaked out that I liked it so I don't know. I need erm-" "Reassurance?" Louis asks.

"Yeah, reassurance. Just that you don't think I'm disgusting and gross for whatever I've just done. The blindfold helps me talk about things, too. I don't have to look at anyone judging me, I guess."

"I'm not judging you no matter what you've done. Unless you were naughty because then I'll punish you. But just because you've done something bad doesn't make you a bad person. Keep that in mind."

"Okay."

"So do you want to add anything to the contract tomorrow?" His fingers trail over my chest, an eyebrow arched in suggestion. "Nipple play?" I ask. He grins and pinches my left nipple. "Ah, Louis fuck." He twists it and holds it there, the feeling going straight to my groin. He lets go and the rush of blood is delightful.

"Yeah, we can definitely add that. I think you'd really enjoy clamps too," he smiles and keeps his fingers toying with my nipples through my shirt. "Want you to be used to having your nipples hard and red in front of other people."

"Don't like doing stuff in front of other people." He grins.

"We won't do stuff, we'll just let them see the product of our stuff. Plus when you're a sub in fourth year you have to walk around in summer with a certain uniform," he laughs.

"What is the uniform?"

"Well, either a chastity belt or cage and nipple clamps or piercings. And you're usually naked too. But that's all part of the summer course. Mandatory. The rules in the contract become more lax as you go because you'll be used to it so you'll have less counselling lessons too."

"Good. I don't want to have to stay here for four years though."

"We'll see. Anyway, tomorrow I have to bring you to my class after counselling."

"Why?"

"It's really just like a repeat of today except we do bonding exercise shit," he shrugs. "Now, though. Let's talk about your punishment. I think twenty five over the knee will do you, really. I'll go easy on you because you're new but we'll introduce some instruments like a paddle or hairbrush when you get naughtier and the rules get stricter."

"I don't want a spanking, though."

"Tough Harry. Don't forget about your swearing either, because you'll still be spanked no matter how red your bum is. Think you'll look all pretty, swollen and covered in bruises." My eyes widen.

"Are you like a sadist or something?" He laughs.

"I'll get back to you on that one. But for now, we should sleep. Early day tomorrow." I agree and he turns the telly off, slipping undress covers with me. I curl up and lie on my side of the bed until Louis pulls me closer, muttering that he's cold. "Louis, can I have my phone back?"

"We'll see how it goes." That we will.


	6. Chapter 6

It's the next day and Louis is shouting for me to get up.

"Busy day, Harry. Wake up, arsey!" I groan and roll onto my stomach. "It's like you're begging me to spank you," he laughs. I ignore him but he tries harder by grabbing handfuls of my bum.

"Hey, gropey, get off me!" I protest. He laughs, smacking his hand down roughly. "Ow!" It doesn't  really hurt but I say it anyway.

"Get up then!" He grins. "We're like the seven dwarves."

"What?" "You're arsey and I'm gropey," he smiles.

"Whatever you say. Do I have time to shower?"

"Be quick," he warns. "Or there's more where that came from." I nod my head and hurry into the bathroom. "I'll bring your clothes in when I want you to get out." I wash quickly, Louis coming in while I'm rinsing my hair out. "We really need to get you shaved." Fuck no.

"Not going to happen."

"It looks nicer. You look lovely anyway though. We'll try it and if you don't like it we won't do it again and if you like being hairless we'll get you waxed." I shake my head and step out, drying off before Louis hands me my clothes. The pants are really tight though, not mine.

"These pants don't fit."

"They do, they're your size but they're just very tight pants. Let's me appreciate you better." I make a sound of disgust. He's ogling me like I'm a piece of meat! I pull on the pants hesitantly and button them up. They do look nice, like. I shrug and get my shirt tie and blazer on.

"Breakfast is just some toast but I put butter on this time. We need to hurry or we'll be late. You need shoes and socks." He goes and gets them for me while I eat my toast and drink my glass of orange juice. I put my plate in the sink and get my shoes on.

"C'mon, therapy now and then lesson and then spanking." I hate how he can use the word so casually.

I follow behind him, kicking at the gravel under my feet until we walk down the halls to counselling. Johnny is sat there with some papers and pair of glasses on.

"Good to see you in better circumstances than last night, Harry," he greets.

"You too. Thanks for yesterday." He smiles widely.

"'S'what I'm here for." There are two chairs at the desk this time and I smile back as I sit down. "So. Did things get sorted last night?"

"Do you mean has Louis punished me yet? No. And hopefully I can still persuade him not to," I say, looking hopefully at Louis. "Nope."

"Okay. No but he's going to punish me after lesson."

"How're you punishing him Louis?"

"I don't want to talk in the next few sessions unless I need to intervene. I want to watch how Harry handles it all. Maybe without my input he'll be less likely to lie."

"Fair enough. Harry do you know what your punishment is?"

"Twenty five spanks over his knee. But every time I swear I get an added five at the end of the day."

"Good boy for mentioning that." I smile at the floor. I like this part- the praise and it seems quite easy to get it.

"Thank you for telling me. Now I want to know if anything is going to be added to the contract?"

"I know one or two but I want to re-read just incase I see another." Johnny looks shocked, but hey, I may as well make the most of the contract while I have it. "Can we add nipple play and clamps?" I say quietly, closing my eyes. "God, we should bring the blindfold to these sessions," I say on a shaky breath. Louis' hand is on my leg, squeezing gently.

"Keep your eyes closed if it helps. Remember no judging here. Is there anything else you want to add?" Louis smiles softly. I shuffle my chair closer to him.

"Can I erm-"

"You can add anything you want then we'll talk about it if I'm unsure or you can put a maybe, if you don't know." I nod and read back over it again and again, my eyes lingering over the same word everytime; ' **fingering**.'

I take a pencil off of the desk and write ' _maybe_ ' in the place of ' _no_ ',next to it. Louis takes it off me and reads it over.

"That's okay, darling. You alright? Need a breather?" I nod my head.

"Yellow."

"Alright. Do you want to kneel? You seem to feel better when you do." I nod my head, swallowing back un-needed tears as I kneel on the floor, leaning my head on Louis' knee. His hands comb through my tangled hair, smoothing it out.

"Can you tell me one or two more maybes? That'll make you more experienced and it gives us more variety of things to do." "Restraints? And, uhm oral? Does that include like being rimmed and blown and doing the same for you?"

"If you want it to," he says softly. I nod my head. "Is that all?"

"Is there anything you think I'd enjoy?"

"We could add sex toys, because we can find what you like and don't? Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah." He pats me on the head and I can hear the pen hitting the desk.

"Can we have a copy of this one too?" Louis asks Johnny. I can hear John's chair scrape along the floor and see his feet walk away from us.

"Come up here for a sec, lovely." He hoists me up to sit on his knee. "What's your colour?"

"Green." But I'm crying. Of course I'm crying. I don't like counselling, I seem to cry a lot during it. Or maybe it's just this school.

"Don't be upset, silly. What're you upset about?"

"Just embarrassed about what I put and because we spoke about it in front of John Paul."

"Harry he has heard a lot more. It's not bad either, so he isn't bothered by it. That's why he has this job, because couples like us need a bit of extra help because things are more complicated than normal. Yeah? So let's calm down and we can talk about your change of heart when he gets back." I frown but nod my head. I watch as John Paul comes back with a copy for us to keep and smiles, sitting down in his chair

"So what's made you change your mind?" He asks. I look at Louis and he nods his head encouragingly.

"I figured that I was more than likely to experiment with a boy so I may as well do it now since I have the opportunity to put it in writing and under strict boundaries, it'll make me feel safer. And I'm going to be miserable if I don't even try to enjoy myself here, so if I give it a go and enjoy it then I've found something new out." I mumble my way through my explanation but Johnny is patient, while Louis sits back and holds my hand.

"Well, I agree with everything you've just said. I think we're really gonna make some progress. Tomorrow you can tell me about how the spanking goes, unless Harry reacts badly, then call me and I'll go get him and we'll do what we did yesterday. Also, keep me updated on anything new you try and how your opinion has changed towards it." He's speaking to Louis now so I just sit and stare at the floor. "See you tomorrow," he smiles.

We say goodbye and take our copy of the new contract home, putting it in the 'kinky fuckery room.' Louis pulls me into the living room and we sit together on the couch.

"You did very well in there, lovely. You even knelt for me and spoke calmly about everything. Thank you." He presses a gentle kiss to my lips, waiting to see how I react. I kiss back and he smiles against my mouth, controlling the kiss. It's very slow and reassuring that Louis does care and that it's okay, stirring something deep in my belly. He pulls away and grins at me.

"Is that your first kiss with a boy?" I nod my head, feeling tiny. I don't know what to think of myself anymore. "Good. You'll have many more off of me." We sit and watch telly for a bit before Louis checks his phone and yanks me up, off of the couch. "We're going to be late." I nod and get my shoes back on, since Louis insists on taking them off when we enter the house. We rush out and jog towards the school building.

"Mr. Cane will have my head if I'm late today."

"Your teachers called Mr. Cane?" I laugh once we've arrived outside his classroom. Luckily we're on time.

"I know. How fitting?" He smiles and pulls me over to Liam and Zayn. Zayn is stood with his gaze on the floor and a collar around his neck.

"Good to see you, Harry," Liam says happily. "Zayn, you can look up, lovely." Zayn smiles up at me.

"Everything's okay now?" Zayn asks. I huff and Louis pinches my hip.

"Be polite. Everything's okay now, yes." Liam raises an eyebrow.

"You've punished him?"

"No, that's for after lesson, isn't it Haz?"

"Yeah." I blush bright red, knowing that when I go home Liam and Zayn are going to know what's happening.

"Are you gonna tell them what you're getting?" He says expectantly which, no. I said no stuff in public.

"Fuck no."

"Another five," he reminds me calmly. "Now. Tell them how you're being punished."

"I don't see why I should."

"Because I told you to."

"That's the most bullshit answer I've ever heard." I can hear the gasps of horror around me but I don't take my eyes off of a very fuming Louis.

"You're just making this worse for yourself, Harry. Each time you swear you get another five spanks. If you don't like it use your fucking colours."

"Okay! Yellow! Fucking yellow. I have told you time and time again I don't like doing stuff in front of other people. Talking about this in fucking counselling is hard yet you expect me to do it to random people. That's not okay, Louis." I press my back to the wall and slide down to try and get the eyes away from me, as tears form. People looking at me isn't something I like at all. At least not in the way they're looking at me now. Louis sighs and kneels down to be at my height, reaching out to touch my face.

"No. Don't touch me." His face falls. Our little scene is interrupted by a loud coughing.

"Inside, class, leave them to deal with this." It is Louis' teacher.

"Harry, please calm down. The nurse said you need to keep calm."

"The nurse can fuck off." He seems to relax a bit then, a small laugh leaving his lips.

"The nurse is a very nice lady. I don't want you to take your anger towards me, out on her. That's not fair." He sits down next to me, hand on my thigh.

"Get off." I push his hand away and he sighs loudly.

"Are you going to be like this every day?"

"Like what?"

"Fine and obedient one minute and a little shit the next?"

"Oh well, I'm sorry I'm not grovelling at your feet like an animal yet. I thought you didn't expect that of me?" My anger has subsided now, replaced by absolute sadness.

"I don't. What made you so upset?"

"I find it hard to talk to you or John Paul about punishments and anything like that so talking to Liam and Zayn was just too much. Then everyone was looking at me and I don't like that at all. They were all judging me and you know how I feel about stuff like that." His hand is back on my leg when I cover my face and I leave it there.

"I know, darling. But you're okay, no one thinks badly of you and they have no reason to. I don't think anything bad of you, just forgot how sensitive you can be when it comes to these topics. Now, we can settle down and go inside and then go home and get your punishment out of the way and maybe have a nap and lunch. But you need to be on your best behaviour because I've already upped your spanks thanks to the show you've just put on. Fifteen extra and then at the end of the day, if you don't swear again you'll have another twenty five."

"That's not fair."

"You swore five times and our agreement is five spanks for every curse word. Now, c'mon, we'll be holding up the lesson."

"I don't want to go into class," I pout.

"Not going to class would just make your spanks go higher and you'd get them sooner. You have two options: go home and get your punishment now then go into class later, or we can go into class and do your punishment later, when no one can see how badly it hurts for you to sit down." I don't like either option.

"Second one."

"Good boy. You're to call me sir in here, too. Colour?"

"Green, sir," I spit. He eyes me carefully before pulling me up and into the classroom.


	7. Chapter 7

"Nice of you to join us, Louis and?"

"Harry," Louis answers for me.

"Harry. We were just taking turns talking about how we got into BDSM. Once you take a seat, I'd like to hear your answers." I sigh, realising I'm expected to kneel. It hurts to sit like that for too long in these jeans. Louis sits down on a chair in the circle and manoeuvres me to sit kneeling between his legs, facing away from him.

"My step dad is the headmaster of the school. So when I grew up with him, on campus I obviously learnt what it was and then joined when I was old enough. Harry, are you okay to answer?" I hate that he's treating me like a child. If I'm being honest I'd relish in it if I was in a better mood and at home but I'm not in a good mood and we're not at home. We're in a class full of other people staring at me.

"Yes, sir," I say quietly. "I got kicked out of my last school so my mum sent me here. I had no clue what BDSM was before I came to this stupid school." Louis yanks on my hair, earning a groan from me.

"Very well, then. I want take note of the amount of yes' the subs have on their list. And the amount of maybes." He goes around and everyone is spouting numbers proudly. One kid has 107 yes' and no maybes. Fucking weirdo.

"Thirty yes' and eighteen maybes," Zayn says happily.

"Six yes' and four maybes." Louis rubs the skin on my neck soothingly when people turn to look in shock.

"Well, our answers vary and that's okay because everyone is different and at different stages in their relationship with BDSM. Now, I want to go around and say if they have been punished yet and if they have, what for and what was the punishment." I turn to Louis worriedly.

"You haven't been punished yet," he smiles and kisses my temple. I nod and sigh in relief. I also enjoy the surprise on Mr. Cane's face when I say no. But he ruins it.

"I want you to do the same but tell me if you've got a punishment planned, what it is and why." Now I am really worried.

"You're okay darling. Tell them the truth, other people will be getting worse than you for less." Zayn proudly states that he doesn't. I look back at Louis and shake my head, telling him I'm not going to speak about it.

"Harry has twenty five spanks for running and hiding from me yesterday, fifteen extra for our argument outside and he gets five for every curse he says, so far it's twenty five," Louis says for me. While he's speaking Louis tangles his hands in my hair, scratching lightly at my scalp. I lean my head on his leg and turn to hide my face and cry. I cry silently, thank god, but I can feel eyes on me and they're not Louis'. Someone laughs from the other side of the room and I sob into Louis leg, feeling happier when the laughter stops when a loud slap echoes through the room.

"You'll be punished for this," a deep voice warns.

"Yes sir," is the answer but the lad doesn't seem too bothered by it.

"Louis, you may take Harry outside to calm down," Mr. Cane frowns. Louis pulls me up and wraps his arms around me as we walk out.

"Gorgeous, calm down, will you?" I shake my head and kneel. Louis coos, sounding sympathetic, hands back in my hair. He sits down and pulls me to lie in his lap, my head resting on his thigh and my body draped over the floor. I continue to cry into his jeans until Louis sighs and decides to break our silence.

"We never have to answer them questions if you don't want to," he says gently. I laugh and squirm while he peppers kisses over the back of my neck. "Here we go, happy Harry is the Harry I like. I want to hear your laugh more." I sniffle and nod into his leg.

"D'you want to sit up?" I answer him by sitting beside him, leaning my head in my hands. "Do you want to go and see Johnny?"

"No, can you text him just to let him know I freaked out? He wants me to do it when I have my phone back so he knows how I'm doing."

"Of course I can, Harry. Now, do I get a kiss before we go and sit in the back of the class and ignore Mr. Cane?" I giggle and nod my head. Seriously- a giggle? He smiles and catches my lips with his, keeping it slow and calm. When he pulls away he kisses the corners of my eyes.

"Such a good boy for me." We go back in and true to his word, we sit at the back and when I go to kneel he pulls a chair over for me and sits me down there.

"No. Submissives will kneel in my classroom," Mr. Cane says angrily.

"If I do recall the rules specifically states, that the dominant is in control of the submissive's behaviour whilst in the classroom, which includes whether they kneel or not. If you find any problems with that, you can take it up with my step-father." Mr. Cane purses his lips and walks away. I laugh and Louis grins, kissing me on the lips. "

C'mon, he won't even notice if we leave," Louis says sneakily. I smile and we sneak out of the classroom together, telling Liam that we'll have lunch at ours but sit with him at dinner.

"I don't want to go home," I pout when we get outside. Louis laughs and shakes his head.

"Oh, no you don't! We're going to go home, I'll explain how I want you and we'll sit in the play room and I'll get anything I need. Do you think you'll want the blindfold?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll get the cream to put on your bum to help it and I won't give you painkillers because that's not the point and it's not bad enough to have to take them. And then we can have a little nap and I'll make lunch for when you wake up. Colour?" "Green."

"Good boy," he says when we arrive at his door. "I'm going to give you your own key incase you get locked out and I'm not in. Now, I want you to go and get the key from my bedside table and go into the play room. Strip off and put your clothes on the chair." He places a gentle kiss to my cheek before going into the kitchen. I do as he says and kneel next to the bed, waiting for him. Louis walks in a few minutes later, wearing a pair of joggers and a baggy vest top. He puts a set of clothes for me on the chair and smiles down at me, passing me to go to the drawers. I avert my eyes until he comes over.

"Breathe, Haz." I breathe in deeply, the scent of leather and wood filling my nose. "Look up at me." My head snaps up to him and his lips twitch into a small smile. He gets me to sit on the bed with him to go over the rules.

"It won't surprise me if you try to wriggle away but try to stay still for me, baby. And after I'm done I want you to tell me why you were punished and if you've learnt your lesson. Make as much noise as you want, but don't hit me, or that'll make it worse." I nod my head.

"Yes, sir." He kisses my eyes so I close them and ties the blindfold around my head. I let him manoeuvre me to lie across his lap and I tense up when he swings a leg over the back of my thighs.

"Don't worry, just makes it easier for you to stay still." I nod my head and he puts a pillow underneath it to stop my neck from hurting. He leans with his left arm on my back to keep me down, but not enough to restrict my breathing at all.

"I'm going to start now and I want you to keep count and tell me when we've done fifteen. You don't need to count aloud though."

"Yes sir."


	8. Chapter 8

I yelp when his hand first connects with my skin, the sting remaining as he rubs over it, kneading over the skin there. He slams his hand down harder, quicker as he goes on making it hard to keep count of.

"Fifteen!" I shout, my voice rough and thick. His hands massage my burning skin and I moan at the feeling.

"Doing so well for me." He doesn't tell me he's starting this time so it takes me by surprise, making me fight in his hold. My bum feels like it's on fire and there are tears threatening to fall. Louis is a lot stronger than he looks, power behind each blow. He lands a few on my thighs which really hurt.

"Fifteen!"

And it continues like that until we've done forty.

I'm crying into my arms now, lax under his weight. He pulls me up to take off my blindfold and kisses my lips.

"Good boy, so good for me," he smiles. I cry into his chest until he lays me back down and rubs cream into my bum which cools my skin but his hands hurt my bright red behind.

"Hush, now. Let's get you dressed and into bed." He helps me stand on shaky legs and dresses me in a pair of joggers with no underwear and a black t shirt. We walk into our room as I sniffle and he helps me lie down with out hurting my bum and kisses my head.

"I'll wake you up in an hour if you aren't up, with lunch and a cuppa. So proud of you, Haz. You did so well." He can't hide the pride in his voice and it makes my heart swell even as I'm falling asleep. He goes to walk out of the room before I remember what he told me before.

"Lou?"

"Yeah?"

"I was punished for running away and hiding from you and for causing a scene. I'm sorry and I've learnt my lesson."

"Thank you so much, Harry." And he comes back in to kiss me.

 

 

"Wake up, lovely. C'mon your food will go cold." I groan and stretch out and Louis stops me before I roll over onto my back. "Be careful, love." And then I remember what he means when rubs the hurting skin on my bum and thighs. I whimper when I sit up and shakily take the plate off of Louis. It smells and tastes delicious, only a ham and cheese toasty but it's nice.

"Thank you." When I'm done he moves me to lie on my front and pulls down my joggers to rub the cream on me again.

"How does it feel?"

"Stings a bit. Throbs when I sit down." He kisses my left cheek making me flinch. "Never had a boy's head anywhere near there."

"Harry, I've just spanked you and that what your worried about?" I laugh and shrug my shoulders. "Was it as bad as you thought it was going to be?"

"No. Doesn't mean I want it to happen again."

"Well, stop swearing and acting out and it won't. I still have to give you twenty five for swearing." I tuck my head into my arms as he pulls up my pants to look at him over my shoulder.

"I know. Do you think they'll bruise?"

"Maybe after tonight, yeah," he smiles. "We have a few hours to do anything we want. So do you want to try something from the list?"

"What do you think is best?" I nod. He grins and kisses my back.

"I think fingering you would be best, introduce you to the feeling of anything up your bum." He smacks his hand down and I yelp, biting into the skin of my arm.

"You're just being mean now," I pout, making him laugh.

"What ever you say. Now do you want to lie on your front or back?"

"Front." I don't have to see him this way.

"Okay, I want you to pull your knees underneath you." I shuffle my knees underneath me and drop my head onto the cushions, cheeks red. He pulls my pants down just below my bum and I frown because I know he can see and it's so embarrassing.

"Where are you going?" I ask, panicked when he gets up.

"Just getting lube." I nod my head and squeeze my eyes closed. He isn't getting a camera or someone to come in. Good. I wince as he squeezes my bum harshly, spreading my cheeks more. I want to cry again but I don't want it to stop because his hands feel good.

"It's okay, Harry." He rubs a dry finger over my hole, making me clench down and shiver. "You have to relax or it'll hurt." I nod but fail to suppress my tears. I dont even know why I am crying.

"Colour?"

"Green. I'm sorry," I say through tears.

"It's okay, crying is normal and okay." He kisses the small of my back and I hear the click of the lube opening, frowning at the squelch that Louis' fingers make. I jump when his fingers return, cold and wet at my hole. He rubs them over gently, getting me to try and relax.

"C'mon. Open up for me." I moan at that because God, it's just so dirty. "Good boy," he says as he prods a finger insistently at my entrance. He inches it in slowly and gently, holding it still to let me get used to it. "Doing so well. How's it feel?"

"Feels funny, uncomfortable."

"I can fix that," he says cheekily and curls his finger, rubbing it against my walls making me whimper and I groan when my dick twitches but can't get harder because it's trapped by the waistband of my joggers. He prods his finger against some things- I'm guessing my prostate- that oh my god! That feels heavenly. And I'm crying more when he pulls it out and adds a second one because it feels good now and I'm comfortable. But I don't think I should be. I'm straight.

I tell myself this constantly but it's seeming less and less likely.

"Good boy. My good boy aren't you?"Louis asks, slowly pulling his fingers out and back in, prodding at that spot, making me moan loudly.

"Answer me."

"Yes, your good boy," I sob. "Can I pull down my joggers? My dicks stuck." He laughs and pulls them down lower. I sigh in relief when my dicks released from it's confines, slapping hard and red against my stomach.

"Do you wanna come Harry?"

"Yeah. Wanna come," I repeat.

"Touch yourself, love." I moan when I wrap a hand around myself, bucking into my own hand and back onto Louis' fingers. "You're so hot!" Louis groans. I look back at him and he's got a hand down his pants, eyes burning into me as his hand moves faster. "God you're so pretty!" I blush at the compliment, pretty isn't something I'd usually settle for but it sounds good coming out of Louis' mouth.

My stomach is on fire and I feel like I'm going to explode. He adds another finger, stretching me wider.

"Lou, gonna come!" I pant.

"Come for me, darling." I come in spurts all over my hand and the duvet. Louis' fingers continue their assault and I whine, wriggling away.

"Hurts."

"Okay, love." He pulls them out slowly, and though I have came and didn't like the feeling at first, I feel empty like I'm missing something. The feeling soon leaves and Louis rolls me over so I don't lie in my own come, cleaning the bed and me with wet wipes he keeps on the bedside table. He takes the blanket cover off and puts another back on, pulling the duvet over me and getting in with me.

"You were so good for me, Harry. You were absolutely amazing!" He peppers gentle kisses over my chest, biting on a nipple. My hands tangle in his hair and I take him by surprise by kissing him, letting him take control once we've started. We lie for a while, making out and lying happily together. But lying quietly gives me time to think about what just happened and I freak out again, crying suddenly, curling away from Louis.

"Hey, now none of this. We don't want a repeat of yesterday so what do you want to do?"

"Just need to be alone for a bit." He nods and let's me go and sit on the couch.

"Why're you upset?"

"Same as yesterday," I shrug.

"Oh, Haz. No one but me knows what we did and I definitely wasn't grossed out because I came even before you. Okay?" I nod my head. "Do you want to call Johnny?" I nod again and he sighs, getting his phone. He hands it to me when I've calmed down enough. He kisses me while it's ringing and I press it to my ear.

"Hi, Louis whats up?"

"It's Harry," I sniffle.

"Oh. Where is Louis?"

"He gave me the phone. I'm freaking out again."

"Do you want me to come over or do you want to go and sit outside?"

"Can we go outside?"

"Of course. You're going to tell me what happened right?"

"Yeah."

"Right, in five minutes meet me where I caught you hiding. I'll bring some blankets and chairs to sit on."

"Thanks." I notice that it's getting darker outside.

"Is Louis going to come?"

"I'd prefer him not to. We're okay though, I haven't escaped yet," I wink at Louis. Johnny laughs on the line.

"Okay see you in a few." We exchange goodbyes and I give Louis his phone back, tears still coming but they're coming slowly. "You okay? What's happening now?"

"We're gonna sit in the trees and talk. I said I didn't want you to come." He smiles and kisses me.

"Thanks," he says sarcastically.

"Oh shut up," I laugh wetly. He ruffles my hair and grabs me another shirt and pair of joggers. I change and put my shoes and coat on, getting a kiss goodbye before I leave.

"I'll phone John Paul if I need you." I nod and start my journey to the trees. John Paul has set up two camping chairs for us, an extra still folded up in case Louis joins us. He has blankets draped over himself and one on my chair.

"You okay?"

"Yeah,"I shrug. "I guess I over reacted a bit but I'm still a bit unsure about it."

"Okay so get comfy and we can talk." I slouch into the corner of the chair and rest my legs over the arm, blanket wrapped around me.

"So do you want me to ask questions again?" I nod and look at the duvet.

"Okay. So what happened after therapy?"

"We went home, put our contract in the play room and then went to lesson. We were talking to Zayn and Liam and Louis was adamant that I told them my punishment which I really didn't want to do. I flipped out a bit and swore a lot at Louis. I said yellow and started crying because everyone was staring. The teacher let us go in late so we could sort it out. We had to tell the class how we got involved in BDSM and how many yes' and maybes I have in my list. Obviously I had the least and everyone kept staring at me like I was a freak. Then we had to say if we had been punished and I said no because, well I hadn't. Then we had to say if we were going to be punished and why and I wouldn't say it so Louis did. I started crying and someone laughed at me. I went outside with Louis to calm down and then we sat in the back and didn't really do much. We left early and then I was punished."

"What happened during the punishment?"

"I was naked in the play room. I wore a blindfold and I was over Louis' knee. He put a leg over mine to stop me from moving too much. I was to stop him every fifteen hits and I got forty in total, twentyfive for yesterday and fifteen for the argument outside of class. He put cream on me then I went to sleep and had lunch after I woke up. Then we decided to do something else off of the list."

"What was that?"

"Louis decided it would be good to - uhm. F-finger me."

"Did you cry?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I was just a bit overwhelmed really, it was a lot to handle."

"Did you come?"

"Yeah."

"Did Louis?"

"Yeah. He got himself off."

"Then was it after you came that you freaked?"

"No. We were sat there and it was quiet so I started thinking about it and I just freaked out again like I did last night. He let me sit away from him and phone you."

"My guess is that the worry of being gay is going to take a while to go, because you've had it drilled into your head so you're not going to just forget about it. I want Louis to be here while we talk about this. Is that okay?"

"Yeah." He guts up to set up the chair and add a blanket there.

"Did anything else make you upset?"

"I was ashamed that I enjoyed it."

"Were you ashamed when you've done sexual things with girls?"

"No."

"What's so different?"

"He has a dick?"

"I'm gonna tell Louis you swore. It's a bad habit," he reprimands.

"What does it matter whether he has a penis or not? You do realise that we live in a world where gays are accepted and we have developed males to be able to get pregnant? For all you know you could have a high chance of pregnancy."

"Fucking hope not."

"We could get you tested?"

"I don't even want to know." He sighs and gets his phone out.

"Hi, Louis! Do you want to come and sit with us?... Well we've spoken about quite a few things but I want to speak about something with the both of you... Yeah, okay... Also, Harry still seems to have a foul mouth on him...of course...bring the blindfold if you need to..." I stop listening then, anxious about what they could be planning. He's off the phone now.

"He's coming now." I nod and snuggle back into the blankets.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Louis disrespects Harry's wishes even after he has coloured out, because he is being directed by a teacher and is unsure of what to do. If this triggers you, skip this chapter and continue! (If you wish)

"Alright Johnny," Louis grins when he walks into our little set up.

"Harry," he says gently before kissing my head softly. "So what'd you want to talk about?"

"I'm trying to figure out ways to stop Harry from freaking out after anything sexual. I was thinking that maybe we could try some out now?" Louis nods and I stare at them both.

"What happened to my opinion?"

"This is in your best interest Harry so shut up for a bit." I frown and cross my arms over my chest. Louis doesn't say it nastily but it gets his point across .

"When he freaks out you can sit with him between your legs and hold his arms so he can't move out of the way and just comfort him. Or pin him down and do the same. If you bring restraints into it that's your choice." Louis grabs me and pulls me to sit on the floor with him. I struggle to try and get out of his grip but he keeps his hold tight and sits me between his knees, my back to his front.

"Get off of me!" I wriggle and squirm, unable to when Louis twists his legs over mine, rendering me helpless. He holds my wrists together on our laps and rests his head on my shoulder.

"Get off you idiot! I don't like it!"

"If you don't like it you would colour out." He has a point there. I look at John Paul who is sat there with a smile on his face. I struggle harder.

"Fine! Yellow! Get off!"

"Keep hold of him Louis," John says.

"Oh fuck you! Let go! Red!" I'm crying now, shouting my protests.

"Hey, love, calm down for me? When you sit still for a minute I will let go of you." I shake my head yelling red over again but John overpowers my shouts, demanding that Louis holds me. He tries to comfort me but right now it's not going to work.I fing myself twisting sideways, Louis gasping and letting go of me when we land on our sides.

"I said to let go you stupid bastard! I coloured out and you didn't listen. How am I supposed to trust you when you do things like this and don't respect when I'm uncomfortable? You too, JohnPaul. You're to blame too. Fuck you both," I spit, voice loud and shaky with tears. I walk into the school building, going to my old dorm and knocking on the door.

"Harry!" Dylan gasps. "Come in, come in. What's wrong?" I sit down in my old bed, crying into a pillow.

"Can I stay here for a while? Just until I get expelled or manage to escape?"

"Why d'you want that?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." He still looks confused.

"It's a hard limit." He nods in understanding. Seriously?

"Okay. You can stay as long as you want."

"Thanks, Dylan." He smiles and climbs onto his own bed. Sleep sounds good right now.

 

I'm woken up by loud pounding on the door. I look to Dylan and he looks panicked.

"Hide!" He whispers. I hide in the wardrobe, looking through the small gap in the door to see who was knocking.

"Where is he?" It's Louis. He looks as bad as I feel. "This is the only place left he would've gone. Have you seen Harry?"

"I haven't seen him since I walked him to his first ever lesson. I'll keep my eye out for him though," Dylan lies smoothly.

"Thanks, Dylan. Do you know where he would've gone?" Dylan shakes his head. "Okay. If you see him give him this key. It's to our house so he can get in whenever he wants." When he leaves Dylan gives me the key and I tuck it into my pocket.

I find my hand wandering to my leg to check if it's still there.


	10. Chapter 10

The day's continue similarly, me skipping lessons and hiding from people, Dylan sneaking me food. We get to know each other quite well, not enough for me to release any information about my short two days as a sub but we get close. I've slept here for three nights now. It's okay really, like I'm in a hotel but I don't leave. Dylan lends me clothes and washes mine. Louis comes over everyday to ask if Dylan's seen me and he says no everytime, adding that I haven't been in lesson and when he's asked around everyone has had the same answer; no.

"I don't see why you don't just take him back," Dylan says while we watch tv.

"He ignored me when I said yellow while he was holding me still and I said red and he still ignored me."

 

"Oh. I erm. Right." I shrug and we carry on watching Supernatural. He has the box set and we started watching it the second night I stayed. We're on season two, nearly finished.

"Maybe he didn't hear you?"

"I literally screamed it, Dylan." He looks mortified.

It's on the eight night when Dylan comes home, panicking. "The headmaster has issued a search for you. All dorms will be thoroughly searched and anyone with knowledge of your whereabouts will be punished severely by the school and their dominants."

"I'll leave then," I shrug. He gives me a blanket and a hoody and change of clothes, making sure I have the key. He put it on a piece of string, making it a necklace so I don't lose it. He adds the dorm key for when it's safe to come back.

"I'll set an alarm for five. That's thirty minutes before the teachers wake up. You'll have plenty of time to get your things sorted and hide. I'll leave a bag of food everyday at the edge of the woods. You leave your dirty clothes and I'll wash them and bring them back."

I hug him and he grins, squeezing me tightly.

The alarm goes off and he helps me gather my food for the day and then says goodbye, going back to sleep. I leave and quietly make my way into the woods, hiding deep in, hanging the hammock Dylan had for when he goes camping. I set up my bed, pillows, blankets and my food in a cool place under the trees. I have a set of waterproof clothes too so I can stay warm and dry. Luckily for me, there are outdoor toilets so I can use them when I need to.

It's not too bad, it gets boring but I can watch interactions between people and that's fun. I'm a people watcher. I go to sleep on the first night, content. I wake up the next morning to the sunrise, the light waking me early. I go the toilet and wash in the sink with the shower gel and shampoo Dylan provided. I change and put the dirty clothes in a bag, leaving it at the entrance of the woods. Where I also find a bag of food. And a note from Dylan.

**_They came last night and said they're going to continue with spot checks, keeping a special eye on our room. I hope you're doing okay. Louis is devastated. Good luck, sleep well._ **

I smile and tuck it into my pocket. As the days and nights drift into each other, I get more comfortable sleeping outside. Dylan drops off books and a torch, we write notes back and forth, informing each other of anything new.

I cry a lot still, missing home and hating myself for what happened.

I let him get in my pants the second day I knew him. I swear.

 

It's on the sixth day that I get a note saying that Louis haven't been seen by anyone. He gives me the letter that the school sent out.

**Dear students, Punishments for knowledge of Harry Styles whereabouts will no longer happen, we're very concerned for his safety. His dominant, Louis Tomlinson wishes to give him a message. _Harry. God, I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot. Just come home yeah? There's a spare bed I can stay in. I don't want you to get ill. If you have to, move back into your dorm. We can reassign you if needs be. I've gotten a new counsellor for us. Can we start with a clean slate? Leave me a message in the woods for tomorrow. Zayn misses you. I miss you_. Harry Styles, please come out of hiding within the next few days or your mother will be contacted. Your place in the school will be taken into consideration. Yours sincerely, Mark Tomlinson, Headmaster.**


	11. Chapter 11

Fuck. Louis is going to come into the woods.

I just don't know what to think. We have a new counsellor. I guess it was kinda John Paul's fault. He told Louis to not let go. And Louis is a new Dom after all.

I hear footsteps into the forest and in walks Johnny.

"The fuck are you doing here?" I spit.

"Now, now. I should spank you for swearing." I get off the hammock and back away from him.

"Don't know if you've noticed but no one is spanking me. Fuck off." He raises his eyebrows. "Okay, the only person spanking me is Louis. And it's going to stay that way."

 

He backs me up against a tree, overpowering aftershave stinging my nose. I wince as he holds my hands above my head, trailing harsh, sucking kisses to my jaw. He smiles and bites down harshly on my neck, lifting his head to kiss me roughly on the mouth. My hips are pinned to the tree by his. He is hard against me and when he moves back I lift my knee and hit him in the balls, running away while I can. I cry while I run, thinking of what could've happened if I didn't knee him. I run home, hitting into someone on the way.

"Harry?" It's Liam and Zayn. "Oh my fuck Harry!" Liam gasps. He hugs me tightly before grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards Louis' house. He goes to knock but I take my key and open the door, taking my shoes off as I walk in.

"Hey Li. I was just about to play Fifa. D'you want to play..." Louis trails off as he walks into the hall and sees its me.

"Hi." He starts bawling, running up to me and squishing me in a hug.

"Oh my god! I was so worried Harry!" He pulls back to look at me. "Have you been crying?"

"Yeah. Johnny came over and erm. He pushed me up against a tree and pinned me there. I got away but he kissed me and told me he'd spank me and-"

I'm crying more now, allowing Louis to pull me to the couch.

"It's okay. I'm going to get him fired. Go take a shower get changed into something warmer and we'll talk to my dad." I nod my head and stalk up to the bedroom, turning the shower on to warm up while I look for clothes. I pick out a pair of old skinnies and a black jumper. I shower quickly, washing away all the grime I haven't been able to in the outdoor-toilet-sink. It feels lovely, easing my muscles, tense from sleeping in a hammock for a week. I get out though, changing and drying my hair out of my face. Zayn is sat on the bed when I go out. He smiles when he sees me.

"I'm so glad you're back. Why did you leave?"

"Has Louis not told you?"

"Well truth be told, yeah, but Louis sent me up here to see if you'd tell me. But would you?"

"Yeah I would." He nods and goes downstairs. Not before giving me a hug though. I put on my shoes and grab a jacket. "C'mere," Louis says when I walk down the stairs. "Can I kiss you?" I shake my head, staring at the floor. "You okay for a hug?" I frown and shake my head again. He sighs.

"Let's go."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> towards the end there is something that people may think to be dub-con/ non-con but nothing actually happens, Harry is blackmailed. Not by Louis.

We walk across the road to the house at the end of the street, Liam and Zayn going to theirs.

Louis walks straight in and takes my coat and shoes, putting them by the front door. He gets me to sit down in the living room and sits next to me on the couch.

"You've lost weight." I shrug and frown at the floor. "Where were you?" He asks.

"The trees. At first I was in Dylan's room and when the checks started I moved into the woods for a bit." "You were in the woods for six days?" I nod.

"Fuck sake Harry. You're such an idiot sometimes."

"I was scared."

"Of what?"

"You." He closes his eyes and nods sadly.

"I'm really sorry, Haz."

"I know." He sighs and his dad comes in. He smiles at Louis and smiles sadly at me.

"You okay Harry?" I nod. "Louis told me the basics. John Paul is gone, fired. He's told me what happened from the very start and..." I just nod my head, mind drifting off to other places.

"Haz. My dads asking you something." I look up at Mark expectantly.

"Do you want to be reassigned a new dom? It's either that or we start a clean slate for you and Louis. If you want to keep what is on your list you can but you don't have to. Your new counsellor also knows the full story and she wants to talk to you guys."

"I'll figure it out in counselling."

We go to the counselling room, meeting our new counsellor Ali. She's nice, friendly, doesn't push me to talk.

"Harry, I've heard a lot about you," she smiles and shakes my hand.

"Doesn't surprise me. I'm an outcast here, everyone knows about me."

"Hey, don't talk about yourself like that, love," Louis says kindly. I send him a glare.

"Don't call me love." He nods his head.

"See, this is what you don't understand about the way these couples work. The sub has more power. They dictate what they can and cannot do but do things to make their Dom happy, simply because it makes them happy." I ignore him and sit on one of the couches.

"Harry, I've read John Paul's notes from your sessions so I know what has happened and that when you panic you get sick sometimes and that you're ashamed of your feelings towards boys. We'll work on this and take it slow. What I don't know is your perspective."

So I spend a while re telling the story, wincing at the more sexual parts but I make it through. Louis sits sulkily in the corner of the couch.

"If you chose to get a new Dom you'd get one that's in year four or five. They'd be a lot stricter and would not have their step dad as headmaster to help out. I think you were lucky to get Louis, really."

After a few _hours_ of counselling, I decide to stay with Louis.

"We need to discuss the contract." "I want to keep kneeling, blindfolds, spanking and nipple play as yes'. I want sex toys, restraints and nipple clamps as maybes, same for oral." Louis sits gob smacked.

"I've had time to think it over," I shrug. He smiles and nods, telling Ali that he agrees with my list. "You still have to go to class but rules have been put in place to cater more towards the couples boundaries so you won't have to do anything if you don't want to. Is that okay?" I nod. We go home and Louis makes me lunch and gets into bed with me.

"You really scared me." I nod and shrug. "I'm glad that you didn't choose reassignment."

"Okay."

"You know the only reason I held onto you is because Johnny told me to right? I wouldn't do that on purpose. I'm new to this as well." "Okay."

"Are you seriously going to be short with me?"                  "Maybe," I say but I'm smiling now.

"You're an idiot."

"I know."

"What did you sleep in?"

"Dylan gave me a hammock and blankets. Everyday he'd bring more food and I had three sets of clothes. When I'd worn one I'd put them in a bag and he'd wash them for the next day and get my other set of dirty clothes. We sent each other notes." Louis inches closer to me and I move away from him. He sighs and gets out of the bed.

"Do you want to see Dylan?" "Yeah." He gets out his phone and rings someone.

"Hi Dylan... Yeah Harry's home now... Thanks for looking after him... d'you want to visit?... Okay, our house is at the far end on the right... See you later." He goes and roots through a box before coming back.

"You said you wanted your phone." And there it is, in the palm of his hand. I take it and turn it on smiling at the familiar background of me and Niall. God I miss him a lot. "Thanks, Lou." He smiles to himself and sits on the couch. "Your contacts besides your mother, sister and Niall have been removed. Your mum did it before you came and I've added Liam's, mine and Dylan's number."

"What about Zayn?"

"He doesn't have his phone." I nod and unlock my phone opening a text from Niall.

 

 **From Niall: Your mums just told me why you've not been in school. Hope you're okay mate, text me when you can**.

 

_To Niall: Hi lad, it's been a while. I miss you._

 

 **From Niall: You're such a wuss.** Then a few minutes later; **I miss you too.**

 

We carry on talking and I text Gemma, asking how she is and how mum is. She tells me how much she begged mum not to send me away. I get a bit emotional; I'm really close to Gem and Niall, so not seeing them is strange.

"Harry, Dylan's here." I smile and pat the bed next to me when I look up at Dylan.

"How're you doing?" He asks when he sits down.

"I've been better. I still want to leave."

"You're just being stubborn,"he laughs.

 

 

"Harry, Ali said she has a deal for you. She wants to ring us so we can talk together," Louis says when Dylan's gone. I sit next to him on the couch while the phone rings.

"Hi, Louis. Is Harry there with you?"

"I'm here."

"Good. Harry, I have a little deal for you, just to get you settled in under better circumstances. So, will you agree to do as Louis says for two weeks and if you still don't like it we'll loosen the rules? I really think it'll benefit you both." "No. No way." Louis sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Told you he wouldn't agree." I want so badly to do it, just to spite him and prove him wrong.

"Harry, either do this or get kicked out. Your choice."

"Fucking blackmail. Fine. Fuck you."

"Good. It starts now." And she hangs up. Louis stands up and grabs my sleeve, pulling me to the playroom.

" **Undress**."


	13. Chapter 13

I stare at him blankly.

"I'm only going to spank you, Harry."

"Only. How many am I getting?"

"Fifty." I've done forty, I can take fifty. I undress and Louis and I get into the position we were in last time.

"Why am I spanking you Harry?"

"I don't know. For running away?"

"Yes. And putting your own life in danger by doing so. Relax, darling."

 

 

 My bum is on fire. Louis was ruthless, not stopping once and allowing his hits to get harder and harder. I'm crying into the denim of Louis' jeans and my hand is squeezed tightly on his leg.

"There you go, darling. All done. You were so wonderful, yeah? So good for me." He sits me up, starting a fresh wave of tears.

"It hurts Louis! It hurts so bad," I sob, hands fisting in his t shirt.

"I know. But it's how you'll learn your lesson. D'you want to have a nap?"

"Can't sleep. Hurts too much. Want cream on it." God I'm so needy. "You can if you're a good boy and go to sleep. Will you go to sleep for me?" I nod defeatedly against his shoulder, whimpering as he holds my bum to lift me and walk into the bedroom.

"Go to sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake up and then you can get cream on it." I sigh and close my eyes, curling into a pillow.

 

I wake up because of a harsh pain in my bum when I roll over.

"Oh my god," I groan as I roll back onto my stomach. That hurts like hell.

"Good boy for going to sleep. Let's get some cream on you, yeah?" Louis says from the arm chair next to the bed. He puts his book down and then sits next to me. I nod and whimper as he massages my bum and I realise I'm still naked. He goes to get it and while he's gone I twist awkwardly to see the marks he's made. My bum is bruised, horribly contrasting with my pale skin.

"Such a pretty bum," Louis says when he straddles the backs of my thighs. I groan as his hands massage the soothing cream into the bruises.

"How long have I been alseep?"

"Few hours. Must be your bodies way of catching up with the sleep you missed." I nod and bite into my arm as he digs his fingers in too hard.

"Hurts, Lou."

"I know. You did so well for me, baby. Did amazing!" I smile into the pillow and whine as he presses his fingers in again.

"C'mon, we've got to go have dinner. Your clothes are in the bathroom." I change and groan when I slide on the jeans he had given me the other day, the extremely tight ones and put on the school's uniform, brushing my teeth before I walk out.

"How's your bum feel?" Louis asks with a smirk. I frown and brush past him, stopping when he grabs my shoulder. "I asked you a question."

"Sore." He lets go, satisfied and smiling.

"Come on then, let's go." As we walk his hand finds mine and squeezes tightly when I try to pull my own away. I whimper when I sit down with Liam and Zayn, blushing bright red while Louis goes to get our food.

"I see Louis' settled his issues with you then, Harry?" Liam smiles warmly. I laugh dryly.

"I hope he has. I don't think I could do that again."

"How many did you get?" He says carefully, testing out the waters. I may as well try to share things like this. After all, Louis will just tell Liam later anyway.

"Fifty," I shrug, tapping my fingers on the table.

"Do you enjoy being spanked?" Zayn asks.

"No. I guess I'm not into that stuff," I say, shrugging again.

"Some people aren't when they're new to it and then they love it soon enough. Did he go hard on you?"

"Depends on what you define as hard."

"What did he use to spank you?"

"Hand."

"Did he give you a break?" I shake my head. "Have you gotten any bruises."

"A fair few." Liam gives me a sympathetic smile before turning to Zayn.

"You love spankings don't you Zayn? Beg me for it even when you've done nothing wrong," Liam says into Zayn's ear, purposely loud enough that I hear. Zayn flushes, eyes flitting to see if I'm paying attention and I feel bad for staring but I can't take my eyes away. I'm broken out of my stare by a loud laugh.

"I think I broke him." Louis' hand is on my shoulder, running circles into my back.

"You okay?"

"What? Oh yeah." Liam and Louis laugh while Zayn sends me an amused look across the table.

"Stand up Harry." I look at Louis in confusion but do it. "Just want to swap places." I frown and squeeze my eyes shut tightly as I groan when I sit down. "Want to tell Liam why you can't sit properly?"

"I think you'll find, I already have." He raises an eyebrow, looking to Liam for confirmation.

"He did, answered all my questions. Did you go hard on him?"

"I went as hard as I will for now," he says dismissively. "Hey, eat up." He nudges my plate closer to me. I eat my burger quickly, frowning when Louis puts his hand on my back, trying to slide it in the back of my pants. I push myself back, squishing his hand on the back of my chair.

"A simple no would've sufficed," Louis winces, shaking his hand. "And I think we both know that you wouldn't have stopped."

"Why do you think that?" He asks, halting his eating to look at me.

"I know from experience." Louis sighs, shaking his head.

"I've apologised for that. Now stop being cheeky or I won't hesitate to spank you again." His threat has me quiet again so I huff and cross my arms. We go home and I sit back in bed, shifting away from Louis when he sits next to me.

"You sleeping here tonight?"

"I'll sleep in the spare room," I shake my head, making Louis frown. "Okay. We need to be up early, you have a doctors appointment." "Why?"

"To see how fertile you are," he says casually.

"Oh." Louis laughs. "Where's your phone?"

"On charge why?"

"I'm only going to let you have an hour on it a day unless you're going out without me. Then you can take it with you in case you need to get in touch."

"That's so unfair."

"Okay. Right it's half seven so in two hours you're going to bed." "I'm not a child. I don't need a bedtime," I protest.

"I know you're not a child, Harry, but for the time being if you act like one I'll treat you like one. Plus, I want you to get as much sleep as possible so you can be as healthy as possible. Is that okay with you?"

"Well, technically it has to be. So yeah."

"Good. So you've never gotten yourself tested to see if you could have kids?"

"No! My mum wouldn't let me even if I wanted to."

"Why not?"

"She is homophobic."

"That explains a lot," he says gently. "That's why you don't want to be gay, isn't it?"

"Could be a contributing factor."

"Well who says you have to call yourself gay? Why should you have to identify with one thing?"

"I know, it's just hard to slip out of something that you've been taught since you were a child."

"I understand. Do you want to go to the forest and find your stuff from there?"

"I guess it'd be nice." So we go out, Louis following me to where I stayed.

"Fuck you slept rough."

"I've been in worse situations," I shrug. He gives me a confused look. "Leave it please." And thankfully he does.


	14. Chapter 14

Louis helps me pick everything up and I give the hammock and clothes back to Dylan. We go back to ours and take our shoes off, sitting in the living room.

"Do you want a cuppa?" Louis asks while we watch League of Their Own.

"Just a glass of water please." He comes back in and gives me a drink.

"Just before we go the doctors tomorrow, do you have any medical issues?"

"I have asthma," I shrug.

"Where are your inhalers?"

"I don't use them."

"I'll get you some tomorrow and I'll make sure you take them everyday." I huff and turn my attention back to the television. "Haz, go get changed into some pyjamas, please."

I sigh but go and get changed into a pair of lounge pants and a white t shirt. I go back downstairs and jump when Louis smacks my bum. "I haven't even done anything wrong!"

"You look pretty getting spanked." I ignore him and sit back down, lounging so my bum doesn't touch the couch. After half an hour, I can feel my eye lids drooping and my head nodding, so I lie on my side and curl into a ball, resting my head on the arm of the couch.

"Harry wake up." I groan and sit up.

"Ah! Fuck." I jump up from where I'm sitting, rubbing my bum.

"Do you have a problem there?" Louis says smugly. I glare at him. "I want you to start asking me if you need something. So do you have something to ask me?" I look at the floor, frowning.

"Can I have more cream on my bum?"

"Good boy. Of course you can, love. Go upstairs and lie on the bed for me?" It's then that I look around and realise that I slept on the couch. I nod and go upstairs, doing what I was told.

"Pull your pants down." I flush and pull them down slightly. "Good. It's gonna be cold but try to stay still okay?" I nod my head and squish my face into the pillows.

I hear the squelch of the cream and then Louis' hands are rubbing the cold substance into my skin its a strange feeling, the soothing cream but the ache of his hands and it's kind of nice. His thumbs dig in and tears spring to my eyes. I squirm, trying to get away but he holds me tighter. "I said to stay still."

"It hurts, Louis. It hurts," I cry.

"I know it does, darling but I'll make it better okay? Just stay still." He carries on massaging the cream into my skin and my cries quieten as his hold becomes softer. My pants are lifted over me and the tiny amount of pressure hurts.

"There we go, all done! See, that wasn't so bad was it?" He says once he's lifted me to sit on his knee. I shake my head and wipe my eyes with the hem of my t shirt.

"You okay now? Can we get dressed to go the doctors?" I nod my head and Louis smiles, standing me up in front of him. "Go get in the shower, I'll join you in a sec." I turn the shower on and strip my clothes off, stepping under the stream. While I'm washing my hair, Louis comes in.

"Gonna shave you later," he whispers in my ear.

"Don't want to be shaved. It'll be itchy and annoying. Plus if I annoy you you'd have a razor next to my dick!" He spanks his hand down hard on my bum, tutting.

"No swearing. And you will have to make sure you don't annoy me then, won't you?"

 

 

"Harry Styles?" A nurse calls out, gaze flickering over the people in the waiting area. Me and Louis stand up together and follow her into a room on the left of the corridor.

"Hi, so you're coming to get checked for?"

"I want to see how fertile he is and get his contraception shot," Louis says.

"And what relation are you to him?"

"He's my boyfriend. We need it for our school records."

"This is to see if he can get pregnant, yes?"

"Yeah," Louis says, hand on my leg.

"What school is it?"

"Y'know the school down the road? BDSM school for boys?"

"Oh yeah, I had someone recommend that to me for my son! Is it good?" She smiles.

"It's great," Louis grins.

 "Okay then Harry can you take off your trousers and underwear and lie on this bed for me?" I look at Louis, unsure.

"Go on, love. Be good." I flush. The nurse is here. I do as she has asked and cover my eyes with an arm.

"Do you know what this examination consists of?"

"No," I say meekly.

"Well, I'm just going to have a little feel around inside of you and see if you have the correct shape. And then we'll do an ultrasound just to be sure." My eyes widen and Louis grabs my hand, kissing my cheek.

"You'll be okay, I'm here."

"Ready to start?"

"Yeah." I jump when she moves my legs up, bent at the knee and she rubs cold lubricant on my hole, fingers prodding. I whimper and squeeze Louis' hand.

"Hey, come on Harry, it's okay. You're doing great, so perfect for me. Harry? Look at me." I move my arm to peek up at him shyly. "There you are!" He jokes. "You're in safe hands, yeah? Nothing is going to go wrong." He talks me gently through the whole thing, distracting me from it. Louis asks about the inhalers and talks about that while I get my pants back on. Then I have my ultrasound.

"Harry, you seem like you're a very suitable father, physically at least. You're very fertile so I'll give you your injection and you can go and get your inhalers." She rolls up my sleeve and injects a fluid into my arm, stinging my skin. I thank her with a frown and take the slip of paper, pulling Louis out of the door.

"You okay?" He asks when we're on our way to the car.

"I want to go home,"I say, voice thick and wet with unshed tears. We reach the car and I'm crying so he kisses my head and opens the door.

"Okay, darling. You sit in there while I get your stuff okay? Put some music on to distract yourself." I nod and let him leave. He comes back a few minutes later, small bags in hand.

"Come on, if you're good while I shave you, I'll let you go and see Zayn. If not I'll spank you. Okay?" "Yeah," I sniffle.

"Good boy. I'm so proud of you, did so good today, Harry." I smile to myself and twiddle my fingers. "So we can go back in six months and get you another shot, so I don't get you pregnant."

"I don't see why I needed that, considering I don't want to have sex with you."

"You don't now, but do you think you will in the future?"

"I don't know." He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Okay, maybe but that's not the point." He laughs, eyes crinkling. "See, that's why. And thank you," he says as we pull up next to his house.

"For what?"

"Being honest with me." I nod my head and get out of the car, opening the door with my key and going inside. "Go and get naked, take the duvet off of the bed and lie down on your back. Do you think you can stay still? Or is now a good time to test out some restraints?" I think of myself being shaved and I know I'd freak out, push him away. But then I'll be spanked.

"Can we try out the restraints please?" He nods, kissing my forward.

"Of course, lovely. Go and do what I've said then." I run upstairs, stripping my clothes of and folding them into a neat pile on the couch. I take the duvet off and put that on the couch too. I lie on the bed and wait for him to come in.

"Such a good boy for me," he grins when he comes in. He drops something on the bed next to my leg.

"You remember your colours?" "Green good, yellow pause and red stop."

"You might say no, Harry and you won't mean it. So I want you to use your colours." I nod my head. "Green." He smiles and grabs my wrist, bringing it up to the corner of the headboard. A leather cuff is wrapped and secured around my wrist and my arm is dangling to the left of my head. He repeats the process on my other arm and does the same to my ankles.

"Gonna get you doing yoga soon so I'll be able to move you any way I want." I whimper and close my eyes.

"Can I have the blindfold please?" "Harry, you're such a good boy for asking me! I don't want you to have the blindfold because I need you to get used to stuff like this. What're we gonna do if you can't even look at me, hey? Is that okay? I'll get it if I think you need it."

"Okay," I say on a shaky breath, trying to steady my breathing. "Can you open your eyes for me?" I shake my head. "Will you open them while I go and get the razor?" I nod.

"Good boy." I hear the bathroom door open so I peak my eyes open to see Louis go into the bathroom. I stare at the ceiling and avoid looking at Louis when he comes back in.


	15. Chapter 15

"Look at me." I stare at him, thinking I must look crazy. "You okay?" "Yeah. Green."

"Okay. I'm gonna start with your chest first, alright?" I nod. He gets on the bed, straddling my stomach. He has a bowl of water, his shaving foam and a glass of water. Why does he need two?

 

The chest, armpits and legs go well then he shuffles forward again taking a hold of my dick. I gasp recoiling away from his hand. "You're okay. Just gotta spread this around yeah?" I nod my head. I struggle a bit while he shaves my pubes, trying to get up but the cuffs prevent me from doing so.

"Getting hard for me Haz?"I whimper, shaking my head. "It's okay. Want me to get you soft?"

"Depends how you're going to do it."

"Do you want to come?" Do I? No, I'll freak out.

"No."

"Then I'll use cold water." He grabs the glass of water and holds it to my dick. I whimper, struggling against my restraints.

"There you go, doing so well, Harry. Good boy." I refuse to look at him, haven't looked at him since he started. But now I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes.

"Why're you upset?"

"I don't know," I laugh sadly.

"Okay love, almost finished now. Being so good for me." He cleans me off with a towel and unlocks my restraints, rubbing the circulation back into my limbs. I look up at him when he grabs my chin.

"My good boy." His lips are on mine, trailing to my jaw and my neck. He sucks dark marks on my skin, making me groan. "Go look in the mirror." I get up, stumbling a bit into the bathroom. I look odd, bare and strange. Louis wraps his arms around my waist, making me jump.

"What do you think?" I don't say anything. "Haz, you have to tell me or I'll just assume that you don't like it."

"It's just a bit weird. I like my chest and legs being done. Not sure about the others."

"Shaving your pubes can make touching yourself more intense and it'd just look a bit strange if I did everything and not your armpits." "You'll have to convince me. Can I get dressed now?"

"Yes, just change into what you wore before." I get changed and sit in the living room. Louis comes down a few minutes later and sits on the recliner next to me.

 

 

"Want to watch the footy?" He asks after we've watched the new episode of Forever, which ironically is about someone who pays to go and get dominated. Louis and sat there, occasionally saying the odd ' _I told you that's why people do it'_ or a ' _see, it can help!'_ It was rather awkward.

At more than one point, he paused it and pointed at the screen, explaining something or saying how he'd love to use it one me. "Yeah. Football would be a good distraction."

"From what?" He laughs as he turns over.

"The fact I've just let you shave my whole body and then we watched that."

"Fair enough." I'm glad he leaves it at that. "We have counselling later but Ali has agreed to do it wherever you're most comfortable." "I like her office. It has the couches. She's nice, Ali."

"By the way, if you run off one more time I'm going to put you on a leash. Even if you just go anywhere without my say so. I'll count it. Okay? Going the toilet and stuff in the house is fine but anywhere else, you ask me before you leave."

"Okay. When's counselling?"

"In an hour, why? Do you have something you really need to talk about?"

"No. Just wondering. Can I call my mum?"

"Yeah. I'll get your phone now. Do you want me to stay here with you?"

"Yes please. God knows what she'll say." He nods and goes and gets my phone. I mute the telly and put her on speaker.

"Hi, Harry."

"Hi mum." I don't know why I wanted to call her. "You having fun at your new school?" She sounds smug.

"Did you know what happens here?"

"Yes. Of course I did."

"Why'd you send me then? You don't like gay people." I mouth a sorry to Louis and he shrugs, smiling.

"I knew it'd calm you down, having a bigger stronger boy put you in your place. Make you a little fag."

"Fuck you, mum!"

"What? Has my little boy actually gone gay? You a queer now, Harry?" I start crying, letting Louis take my phone.

"Listen here, you stupid bitch, don't talk to him like that. Harry is twice the person you are. Delete this number you won't be hearing from it anytime soon."

"And who are you?"

"I'm his dominant." She snickers from the other side of the line. "Okay, gay boy. I can easily pull him out of the school."

"He's eighteen. So technically you can't. Plus, my dads the owner of this school and won't be happy when he finds out about this threat." "I don't want him anyway," she laughs.

"Then I think you're the most idiotic person ever."

 

I cry and cry and cry, allowing Louis to drag me into his lap. But I stay curled up so he slides a hand under my shirt, rubbing at the skin of my stomach and his other hand goes to my hair.

"Hey it's okay. Do you want to go counselling early?" I just cry harder in response so he leaves it and whispers sweet, soothing words in my ear, minimising my sobs to sniffles, my sniffles to heavy breathing.

"You're okay, lovely. Such a good boy, you handled it so well." I know I really never, but it's nice to hear. "You want to go counselling now?" I nod and he gets us ready and we leave, not before he presses a soft kiss to my lips.

"Good boy."

"Lou?"

"Yes?"

"Can I- erm, kneel this time?" He coos, linking his fingers with mine. "You don't need to ask to kneel. Really it should be the other way around but I like what we do. It's good. Good boy for asking me, Harry." I nod, staying silent. When we get there, there's barely anyone else at the other offices. We go and sit with Ali, Louis threading his hands through my hair when I kneel between his knees, facing away from him.

"What've we got here?" Ali smiles. I blush, looking at the floor. "Okay so what've you done today?"

"We went to the doctors, got you tested didn't we Haz? And you got a bit upset but you calmed down really well. You got your shot fine and we went home. Then, I shaved Harry and he was really well behaved. We've been working on him asking for something he wants instead of just waiting to be given it or expecting it haven't we?" I nod, Louis' fingers pulling slightly at my hair. "And we watched telly for a bit then Harry phoned his mum and she said some really nasty things. Haz got quite upset, didn't you babe?" I squeeze his ankle, keeping my hand there.

"Yeah and when he was okay again we came down here."

"Good! Sounds like you've both been adjusting very well so far. Have you tried anything else from you list besides spanking, since you've had me as a counsellor?"

"How did you know I've been spanked?"

"Hey, don't be rude," Louis says.

"I'm not. Just want to know how she knows I've been spanked when you wouldn't tell Johnny anything unless I wanted to."

"You'll be getting another spanking if you aren't careful. Apologise now."

"Sorry for being rude Ali. And Louis. Sorry for being rude." He kisses the top of my head.

"Good boy."

"Louis told me about your spanking because I told him to keep me updated with any punishments or sexual acts that have happened. And how you react to it." I nod.

"That's all I wanted to know."

"Anyway, no we haven't but could if you'd like us to."

"I think it'd be good to see how you'd both react to it now. Have you ever tried to get Harry into subspace?"

"I don't even know what that is," I say quietly.

"Well by definition," she says, typing away on her computer. "Subspace is, in a Dom/sub relationship, a very special place the submissive enters when he totally trusts his dominant, and totally immerses in an intense scene. The sub may not be capable of making rational decisions about his safety and well-being at this point. It is the responsibility of the Dom to provide for the welfare of his sub, as he has trusted him to do. It is also the Dom's responsibility after the scene to help the sub to return to "vanilla space" after the scene. This entails providing both physical and emotional assurance to the sub, until he regains his sense of self, and is known as aftercare."

"I don't want to try it," I whisper.

"We don't have to. It's not as bad as it sounds. It feels really good for subs and it makes their Dom's really happy to look after them and know that they're able to put them in that place," Louis explains. "No. No. Don't want to." I panic at the thought of ever doing anything like that. I dig my face into Louis' thigh, breathing deeply. "Love, you don't have to. Do you want to come and sit up here?" "No."

"Haz, sit up with me for a sec. Wanna try something." I ignore him for the sake of breathing properly. He pulls me up, into his lap and lays me down like he's going to spank me.

"No! Not in public! I haven't done anything wrong!" I cry, struggling in his hold.

"I'm not spanking you, just lying you down!" He exclaims, pushing my chest down onto his leg, so my face rests on his hip. He holds my arms behind my back, pinning me down. "You're okay, love. Just lie here and calm down, okay?" I whimper, tears falling onto his jeans. "Not in front of Ali," I choke out.

"Ali has turned away so I can deal with you. Why not in front of her though? We aren't doing anything."

"I don't like anything in front of others." I'm full on sobbing into his clothes now, heaving and trying to draw enough breath in. "I know you don't. But there's nothing wrong with what we're doing."

"You're pinning me down." But I'm pliant and relaxed in his arms. "That's okay. Breathe. **Good boy."**


	16. Chapter 16

When I'm calmed down, I get bothered about the fact that what Louis did helped me when I was upset but what can I do? He still holds me here though - in case I break down again, I suspect.

"So would you like to try anything else from the contract lovely?" I bite his hip through his jeans.

"I don't know what that means," he laughs.

"Yes but I don't want to say it in front of Ali," I mumble.

"She's going to find out anyway," he says. "No ones judging you here, Harry. Whatever you want to try isn't too kinky for us to handle," he adds when he sees my hands clench into fists and my face scrunch up.

"Can I whisper it to you and then if you have to you can tell Ali?" I gulp. Louis bends his head closer to me.

"Go ahead."

"You said the first time we played that you'd see if I could come just from you touching my nipples. I want to see if that can actually happen and if that includes clamps then..." I mumble my way through my request very slowly and quietly.

"Sure we can love. Sounds delightful." He straightens up again. "Ali, we're going to try out some nipple clamps and obviously nipple play and gonna see if Haz, here can come just from me playing with his nipples."

"Okay. Thanks for telling him, Harry." My face flushes. "Is that all?"

"I want Harry to choose another punishment. Preferably one with an implement that could be used for pleasure or pain."

"I don't know a punishment that's pleasurable sometimes too."

"A flogger is good for that. We can add it as a maybe, yes? And can we add chastity, as a punishment?"

"No way."

"Not a belt, just a cage? We can take it off whenever you want? And then prostate milking goes with that too. It means you don't have to come and freak out. Do you think we could at least try it?" "I don't want to try it."

"For me? It'll make me really happy."

"I don't give a shit! I'm not doing it."

"That's a soft limit then, Ali." I huff, trying to get off of his knee. "I don't think so. Stop Being so bratty," he snaps, holding my arms tighter.

"I hate this. I hate everything about this," I cry.

"Of course you do," he says sarcastically. "Now behave or I'll spank you raw."

"You already have."

"Fine, I'll put you in chastity and flog you. How does that sound?" "No! Don't do that."

"Stop being naughty then." I nod, relaxing in his arms. I'd rather do this than be flogged. "Good boy. Are we going to go home?"

"I thought you make the decisions?"

"If you have anything else you want to talk about, now is the time. Otherwise we're going to go. I take you into consideration too." "We can go home."

"Okay, thanks Ali."

"Thank you, Ali," I say when I stand up, escaping Louis' touch. Louis sighs, waving to Ali as we leave.

"Do you still want to try and see if you can come just from your nipples being played with? I know they're very sensitive," he says when we get around the corner of school.

"No. Not anymore."

"Fine, I'll get the cage," he mumbles.

"That's not fair. That's literally manipulating me into saying what you want. That's what everyone does here. It's disgusting.

" "What happened? You were lovely and calm for that session. Most of it, anyway. Why're you acting up now?"

"I don't know."

"Exactly. You have no reason so I think we'll have a session with the flogger today. Just to introduce you to it and maybe if you haven't came, try out the nipple play." I gulp nodding and following him into the house.


	17. Chapter 17

I follow his instructions, getting naked in the playroom and lying spread eagle on my back and waiting for him to come in. When he does, he smiles at me, taking a flogger out of the drawer.

"You okay babe? What colours do we use?"

"Green is okay. Yellow is slow down and red is stop."

"Perfect." He grins at me as he cuffs me to the bed again, similar to this morning. He circles me, brushing the strands over my body, making me whimper and I'm half hard now. Why? I cry out loudly at the first hit, on my thigh, making my back arch.

"Good boy. So good for me, Haz." He hits it down again, the tails stinging my skin and I can feel my dick fattening up more. "Enjoying yourself there, Harry?" I moan, thrashing when he hits me on my stomach.

"Oh my god! Louis!" It hurts like hell. But there's that side of pleasure that makes it nice.

 

He beats the shit out of me until my eyes are unfocused and I can't think anymore. I feel like everything around me is muted slightly, my thoughts blurry.

"My amazing boy, Harry. Can you take more?" I nod my head before I even know what I'm doing, whimpering when he hits me on my nipples again.

"Will you let me hit your cock, Harry? See if you come from it?" "Louis," I groan. It feels wonderful now.

"What's my name?" It takes me a while to answer, my mouth feeling heavy.

"Sir."

"Better." He beats me for a while longer until he finally hits my dick, my back arching obscenely, a choked sob falling from my lips, come spurting up my chest, stinging the raw flesh of my torso.

"Harry, you're so wonderful, yeah? Gonna unlock you now, darling." I can feel him moving me about until I'm under the covers but really, all I feel is him pressed to my side.

"Can you come back to me, Harry? You were my good boy, weren't you? Did so well for me. Can you come back down to me?"

"Lou?" He kisses my face all over. "So proud of you. Did such a good job for me." I smile, snuggling into his chest.

"How d'you feel?"

"Warm. Everything's blurry." He strokes his hand over my hair, murmuring sweet praise into my ear until my head clears.

"What was that?" I ask when I find my voice.

"You went into subspace, lovely. I'm so proud of you Harry. You did so good." I smile to myself, pressing a kiss to Louis' chest. "Gotta clean you up though. So I'll go get you a washcloth and then we can sleep yeah? Are you tired?" "Exhausted," I yawn. He laughs, kissing my head. I whine when he gets up.

"Be right back, sweetie." But I fall asleep before I see him come back.

 

I wake up on my back, spread out on the bed in the play room.

 

"Lou?"

"Right here, Harry. Just getting some cream to stop you stinging." "Lou," I whine. I miss having him with me already and that sounds so pathetic but last night, it was amazing. It changed something. I've never felt better.

"Someone's impatient," he teases when he comes into the room, holding two pots.

"How do you feel?"

"Relaxed. Physically, I'm hurting but I'm sure I'll be fine." I lift my head to look down at my torso, small nicks where I've been hit hard enough to break the skin and cause bleeding.

"God, that's kind of hot," I laugh, lying back down."C'mon then, fix me."

He chuckles and sits down next to me, fingers skimming over my bruised, damaged skin.

"This might sting a bit," he warns before dabbing disinfectant over my small wounds.

"Just a bit," I say sarcastically. He laughs and kisses my neck.

"Need you to stay still now, okay?" I nod and focus on breathing deeply while he rubs aloe Vera into my skin. It stings like hell but when his hands aren't there, it cools and feels better. "Is that okay?" He asks.

"Yeah." He smiles, taking my hand and helping me walk to our bedroom on shaky legs. I lie back down on the bed, feeling more comfortable this time.

"So," Louis says as he sits next to me. "How was it?"

"The actual flogging or subspace?" "Both."

"I liked the flogger more than I thought I would. And subspace was nice once I knew what it was. When I didn't I was kind of confused about what was happening. Just knew I wanted you there. Thanks for not leaving me like that."

"I would never even think of it. So, is flogging going to be a definite yes on our contract?" "Yeah. Have you told Ali?"

"No, thought you'd want to tell her today?"

"Not really." He laughs and kisses my cheek.

"Will you try to, for me?"

"You're not going to let the 'do it for me'  thing go, are you?"

"Nope, because I know it works."

I laugh, nodding.

"Fair point."


	18. Chapter 18

It's only when we've eaten breakfast, gotten washed and dressed and left the house that I speak up.

"I'll tell her."

"My good boy," Louis whispers in my ear, pressing his lips to my jaw.

"So good all the time."

"Wouldn't go that far," I joke.

"You don't give yourself enough credit."

I'm wearing baggy clothes: joggers, no boxers and a hoody, so I don't hurt my skin too much.

Ali goes to hug me when we walk in but Louis stops her.

"Might hurt him."

"Oh. So, get yourselves sorted and explain." I smile at how casual and friendly she is with us. She acts like we're having a a gossip and it definitely makes it easier to talk to her. We sit how we did yesterday, Louis on the couch and me on the floor, knelt between his legs.

"So what's happened to make you hurt, Harry? Will you tell me?" I close my eyes, nodding. My hands come to rest at Louis' ankles, tickling at the soft skin there. "Yesterday, I got a bit cheeky after our session so Louis told me to get undressed and to lie in the playroom. I did and when he came in he cuffed, with like- leather cuffs, he cuffed me to the bed and then gave me a flogging. I got hard because, I've never been hit like that, so it was different and God it felt so much better than I'd anticipated. Eventually I went into subspace and then Louis flogged me for a bit longer and then I came when he erm- hit my-" "Dick," Louis supplies. "Why out of all of that did you struggle with saying that?" He says, not mocking just curious.

"'Cause you told me not to swear." "Good boy," he grins, pecking my hair.

"Then we lay together and he got me out of subspace. Then I fell asleep. Then this morning he put disinfectant and aloe on my skin to stop it from being too bad."

"Wow! You seriously experienced subspace already? That's so good, Harry! So is flogging going as a yes?"

"Hell yeah it is," I smile. She nods and writes onto the contract.

"Did you try nipple play?"

"Nah, we had quite the flogging session didn't we Harry?" Louis says, sounding impressed himself. "Yeah."

"Got the marks to prove it an' all, haven't you, Haz?" I nod smiling down at the floor.

"How about we go and see Zayn and Liam later and brag about how great you were?" I laugh and shake my head, still looking at the floor.

"So Harry, this was your first time ever experiencing subspace. What'd you think of it?"

"It was weird. Obviously I didn't know it was subspace while I was in it because it'd never happened before, but while I was there it was lovely. Everything felt kind of warm and nothing really mattered."

"Nothing at all?"

"'Kay Louis did but-"

"How much did he matter to you?" I frown, confused about why she's asking me this.

"I really wanted him there. All I could think of was Louis," I whisper.

"See now you kind of understand how much subs can rely on their Doms. Did you feel like you'd do anything for him because he wanted it?" I nod. "Try doing that from now on."

Counselling is uneventful. Louis' decided I'm not going to have my phone at all so we debated about a collar permanently, that has Louis' number on. It's a maybe but with the way things have been going recently, I don't doubt it'll be a yes soon.

Afterwards, we go and knock at Liam's house. He opens the door, smiling and letting us in. We sit in the living room, Louis' hand on my leg.

"Don't want to kneel?"

"No, my hip hurts. I've got a cut like right where my body bends," I frown. He moves me so I'm lying down with my head in his lap, so I'm not hurting myself further. "We'll have to take special care of that one then, yes? Any others that've been hurting a lot?" "There's one right below my nipple and I guess it's just on a sensitive bit of skin but other than that, they're just as bad as each other." "What hurts?" Liam says, walking in with Zayn after going and waking him up so he could see us.

"D'you want me to tell them?" "Yeah. 'M tired," I sigh resting my head in his lap.

"I flogged Harry last night," he says smugly. His hand squeezes on my leg.

"Oww, Louis!"

"You got one there?" I nod, whimpering. He apologises and kisses my nose. "We managed to get Harry into subspace, too. Did so good for me. Thought we could maybe show you the marks?" I thought he was joking before.

"Haz, you want to take off your hoody for me?" I sigh. I guess this isn't too different from when he got me to swap places at dinner. My hoody is over my head and Liam and Zayn gasp.

"Oh my god. And you liked this?" Zayn asks.

"Surprisingly, yes." He stares at my stomach, awed. Louis pulls the waist band of my joggers down just so he can see my hips. "This one?" He asks, poking the skin next to the cut.

"Yeah. It kills." He frowns and kisses around it, kissing me on the lips once he's done.

So Louis and Liam get into a conversation about something that I'm not involved in so I lie happily in Louis' lap. We stay a while longer, until Louis decides it's time to go home, or because my torso is stinging horribly so it's time to put some aloe on it again.

He lays me out on our bed, after taking my clothes off and rubs the ointments into my skin with delicate touches, whispering soothing words and adding sweet kisses.

"You're so beautiful Harry. Never seen anyone as pretty as you," he murmurs.

"Lou," I whimper. His head shoots up.

"Yes?"

"Can- can I have a kiss?" He grins and shift forwards, moving his lips against mine. I can feel his dick against my leg and I moan. He grinds against my thigh and it hurts, but it's good to know I can make him feel like that.

"Lou, you're hurting my leg," I whimper.

"Shit. Sorry, love. Do you think you're ready to sort that out for me? Or do you want me to go into the bathroom for a minute?"

"I-I can help you," I say quietly. He hums, pressing a bruising kiss to my lips, this time the kiss gets more heated, mainly teeth and tongues.

"So pretty, darling. Do you want to come?" I'm barely even hard but why not?

"Do you want me to?"

"I'm giving you the option, so I don't mind either one. You've been very good today. I'd love to reward you."

"Yes." He smiles.

"Do you think you'd be okay if we sixty-nine?" I nod, gulping. "Okay let me lie down and you can be on top." I move over so he can lie down. He grins at me, motioning for me to get on. I swing my leg over his chest, gasping when his hands grab at my bum.

I bend over, glad I can hide my shame in his leg and he doesn't have to see me to know I'm blushing.

I have to admit though, I'm definitely getting hard at the idea of doing this with him.

"Gonna rim you, love. Make you come so hard." I whimper, wrapping my hand around his dick, doing what I'd do if I was wanking, twisting at the top and thumbing at the head. He groans, sucking on the skin around my hole. I whimper, ducking down to lick at him, wanting to hear that fucking gorgeous noise again.

It's when I wrap my lips around the head, that Louis licks over my hole, making me jerk forward and choke slightly. He laps at my rim, biting at the muscle making me whine and keen. I carry on going down as far as I can, hollowing my cheeks, just doing what girls have done for me before.

He moans while his mouth is still pressed to my hole making me pull off.

"Lou. Oh my god, Louis! Can I touch myself?"

"Want to see if you can come just from this, lovely so don't yet." I nod, deciding to distract myself with giving what I hope is a decent blow job.

He pushes his tongue past the rim, making me choke and splutter, taking him deeper into my throat. When I go to pull off, his hands find my head and keep me there. "Breathe through your nose, Harry. Gonna come soon. Are you okay to swallow or can I come on your face? Could come on your tummy and rub it in, make you mine."

I try to do what he's said, my eyes watering as I breathe shallowly, massaging the underside with my tongue. I grab his hand pulling it to touch my stomach.

"Gonna come on your stomach then. Want you to come first though, Haz." I nod, moaning around him as he pushes a finger into me without resistance since I'm already a bit stretched and wet. One finger becomes two and they prod around, hitting places I haven't long known existed.

"Come for me Harry," he commands. He pulls at my balls, making cum splatter on mine and his stomach. My balls ache as he continues playing with them, but he's pulled his head away from my arse.

"Gonna come okay, so pull off love." I do and he gently flips me to lie down, shuffling over me. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of him wanking off over my stomach. I moan as it hits my skin, burning a bit.

He lies on his side next to me, fingers playing with the come on my stomach, mixing ours together and rubbing it in gently.

"Such a good boy for me, aren't you? Tell me." He kisses at my jaw, sucking marks on my neck. "Your good boy," I smile, turning my head so I can kiss him.

"Should we go and have a bath, get you nice and clean? Made you very messy didn't we?"

"Yeah. A bath and a nap? I'm shattered."

"That sounds wonderful. Then, we can talk about getting you a proper collar."

I nod and follow him to the bathroom, thanking him when he helps me walk because my legs are so shaky. He sits me down on the toilet, making me flinch because it's so cold.

"You ready to get in now? And then I'll give you a massage while we talk and you can sleep."

"Yeah okay." The bath is lovely, Louis sitting behind me and gently washing my skin. He washes my hair, fingers scratching at my scalp.

After the bath, he lays me out on my front, bring careful to not hurt me and sits behind me. His fingers dig into my muscles, loosening them. And I fall asleep before the collar is even brought up.


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning, it's a Monday. Which means classes and classes mean sharing and that means embarrassment.

Louis and I shower together and get dressed. I seem to be a lot more pliant and willing to do what he wants and I have to admit it has its benefits: he constantly has his hands on me and it feels really wonderful; he always praises me and and if I'm being good he's less heavy handed and he doesn't punish me.

So it's looking good for us two. When Louis and I go inside my classroom Mr. Johnson was really surprised to see us.

"Harry, long time no see. How're you and Louis?" He asks when he pulls me aside.

"Better than ever," I smile.

"So have you been behaving?" "Yeah actually I have. I'm sure everyone in this room is better though. Ask Louis, he's better at answering stuff like this." He calls Louis over and I smile when he walks over, arm over my shoulder holding my right hand and pressing me into his side. "What've you done now?" He jokes.

"Harry said you're better at answering questions than him. I asked if he'd been good for you." "And you couldn't answer this Haz?" Louis says confused.

"I said I behaved for you. But I didn't really know whether to elaborate. You're usually here to tell me if I've done well or not." "You always do well for me, darling. You want me to answer?"

I nod and he grins, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"He has definitely behaved since we came back."

"Ali thinks it would be good if I worked a bit more closely with you, since I can see how you are in lesson. So everyday I'm just going to ask you a few questions. Sit over by my desk while I get the rest of the class sorted."

"Are you going to kneel?" Louis asks, fingers coming through my hair.

"My hips really hurting," I say, shaking my head. He nods and grabs a chair for me to sit in and then rests my legs on his lap, making me lean back.

"Thanks," I smile, my voice soft. He rests his hands on my leg, squeezing at my calf.

"Do you reckon you have a headspace?"

"A what?"

"Like when you get into a certain place in your head you're submissive but when you're not there you aren't."

"Maybe, why?"

"Want to talk about it in counselling. Wonder what makes you go into your headspace though. We can talk about it later and about the collar. Didn't get a chance yesterday. You were very sleepy weren't you?" I nod and look at my lap. Mr. Johnson comes over a few minutes later, sitting in front of us.

"Why're you not kneeling?" He says curiously.

"My hips hurting and it's worse when I kneel." He looks skeptical so Louis intervenes to back me up. "Is it okay if I tell him why?" With a nod of my head he begins to explain.

"We had a session with a flogger the other day and he has a cut on his hip where it bends."

"And how did the session go? No freak outs?"

"No actually, managed to get Harry into subspace so he was great," Louis admits proudly. I don't think I'll ever get over the look on his face when he says that.

"Subspace already?" Mr Johnson sounds shocked and I don't blame him. I wouldn't expect a kid like me to experience it.

"That's brilliant, you two! Right, go and sit with the others. For now though I want you to get into your favourite position to calm Harry down when he freaks out."

We walk over and I follow Louis' orders of getting two chairs.

"I want you to sit on my lap how we did it in therapy yesterday. I'll hold your arms again but if you don't struggle I won't put too much pressure on you but if you do I'll hold you down. Okay?"

"Yes sir." He smiles and gets another chair for my legs to rest on and we get into position. I tuck my face into his hip, kissing his waist through his shirt.

"You reckon that if you do have a headspace you're in it now?" "Possibly."

"So beautiful." He laughs when I flush. "Why out of all the things we've said to each other does that make you blush?"

"I'm not used to being called it, 's all." His grip on my arms tighten and I squirm a bit, causing him to properly pin me down.

"Thought you were going to be good?"

"'M trying," I say sadly. I've never liked being bad at something I try at. Especially when I can see a lot of people around me who're better.

"I know you are love. I'll make sure to call you beautiful more often. Make sure you know it's true. Can I loosen up on you?"

"I don't know can you?" I'm never good with compliments they always make me moody.

"Hey, Mr. Grumpy. What was that for?" He asks, sounding more than a little amused.

"It's nothing." But I don't apologise even when I really want to, just to be stubborn. Louis' annoyed at me, I can tell and I hate the fact it makes me feel like shit. Because Louis is in a mood I am too for the whole lesson.

 

Then we have counselling which is never good when someone angry or upset. That someone usually being me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Non-con paddling in this chapter. If it makes you uncomfortable please do not read!

"Will you kneel?" Louis asks when we get into Ali's office.             "I've already said my hips hurting."

"Take that as a no. Will you sit on my knee?"

"I'd rather not," I spit, brushing past him to sit on the couch.

"Stop it Harry. What's gotten you so upset?"

"I'm not upset. Just don't see why I should be doing any of this." He sighs, sitting next to me.

"Are we seriously going back to this? I'll hold you down for this session if needs be. When we get home if you haven't told me why you're moody, I'll cuff you to the bed until you do."

"That's not fair. What if I need the toilet?"

"You tell me what's wrong and I'll let you go. If you don't tell me you'll have to do it in the bed." I close my eyes, resting my head on the arm of the couch.

"Mr. Johnson also told me to keep an eye on you. Apparently you think everyone is better than you?"

"Well it's true isn't it?"

"No it's not love. You're wonderful," he says softly. "I don't want to hear you saying stuff like that, okay? It makes me really sad."

"Being at this school makes me sad." I jump when I feel his arms around me, pulling me into his side.

"I know it can. But you are going to make it worse if you keep telling yourself that you're terrible. I think you're a great sub."

"I don't want to be a great sub, Louis. I want to go home and be with my friends, get myself a girlfriend." He raises his eyebrows. "Or boyfriend," I add.

"What am I then?"

"A twat. I was forced to be here and be with you."

"Why're you such a brat?"

"See? Even you know I'm shit at this."

"Right enough of this. We'll come back later. We're going to go home and you will talk to me or you'll get spanked."

I'm not telling him anything. No matter what he does to me. I'm not opening up to someone I barely know, he doesn't need to know why I don't like being called beautiful or why I struggle with anything like this.

"Try your hardest," I smirk.

"Trust me, I will." And he drags me home, pulling on my hair so I follow him.

"You're such a little shit sometimes. You're so fucking lucky I'm patient."

"You don't seem to have much patience right now," I point out. "Enough of you cheek Harry!" He shouts. _Well fuck_. He looks furious.

"Go, get naked in the playroom and bend over the bed."

His tone leaves no room for compromise. So I sulk off to do what he's said, knowing if I refuse it'll take  make it worse. I've done what he's said and wait until I can hear him coming in the stairs to bend over. I hate the thought of what I am actually doing so I get a pillow to bury my head in, hide my shame. When Louis comes in, he's silent. And that alone scares me; he usually talks me through everything he's going to do. But now? Not a word. I jump when his hand comes to rest on my bum, just laying there.

"Louis?"

"No talking unless it's to safe word." At least he's giving me the chance to word out.

"I'm going to spank you fucking raw, until you can't stand." I whimper, burying my head further into the pillow.

"I'm going to use a paddle." Fuck me. I've seen the ones he has in here, the ones with holes in and the ones with an L in.

I've spoken to Dylan about paddles and he says they're horrendously painful, much worse than a hand. The first hit comes as a shock and by the tenth, my eyes are watering.

"Don't be getting upset now, this is a warm up compared to what you'll get." I whimper, biting my lip. It's the thirtieth hit and I'm sobbing, bawling into the pillow. "Stop! Louis, stop!"

"Be quiet!" He shouts. "You deserve this!" I swing my hands around, protecting my ruby red bottom. He doesn't notice quickly enough and smacks the paddle down on my hand, making me cry out.

"Louis! Stop! Yellow!" he stops and rubs his hands over my arse. I turn my head and see he's staring intensely at the wall in front of us. "If you were me, in charge of a sub and they'd been a little shit, would you just let them go?" "No," I cry quietly.

"Exactly. Move your hands." He lands a harsh smack to hands as they were moving away, cracking down on my fingers.

"Oww! Stop Louis, that really hurt! Red!"

 

Louis carries on to discipline me so I sit and cry quietly into my hurting hands. I lost count of his smacks a while ago. If I had to guess I'd say they were in their sixties. He has started to focus the hits on the skin where thigh meets bum and fuck it hurts. I feel like I blackout.

 

Or I'm in shock, my body numbing the pain. Because I barely even feel him stop.

"Harry? Can you stand up?" That wakes me up.

"Get away from me! You're fucking insane," I cry, "don't touch me!" I wail as I slide to the floor, landing on my burning bottom. I roll onto my side, curling up and crying. "What's your colour?"

"Red! I said red and you didn't listen. I hate you Louis. I fucking hate you!" I shout as he helps me up to the bed, letting me shuffle away from him. I sigh when I hear the door shut, meaning he's gone.

Thank fuck. I think he's broken my fingers. It feels like it at least and they look quite swollen. He comes back in a few minutes later carrying cream and water.

"Roll onto your front."

"I'm not doing anything for you. Give me your phone. I need to speak to Ali." He narrows his eyes but hands me the phone reluctantly.

"Ali? It's Harry."

"What's wrong, Haz?"

"I need to get away from Louis but I can't."

"What's happened?"

"Can you come to ours? Tell Louis to leave me alone!"

I hand the phone back and Louis frowns. He moves away from me but sits at the opposite end of the bed.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" "Right. Sorry."

"Can I speak to your dad about being reassigned?"

"Don't get a new Dom. Please?" "My next one may be stricter but at least he'll stop when I say red." "I'm so sorry, Harry. It'll never happen again."

"What's your excuse this time? Last time it was because John Paul told you to carry on. No one else was here. I wish to speak to your father."

He nods sadly.

"I'll message him once you're done talking to Ali."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. Go the nurse and get me an ice pack?"

"What for?"

"My hands. Fucking killing." I whimper when he takes my hands between his, inspecting the damage.

"Holy shit, Haz. I'm so sorry."

"I know. You've said so. Help me into my room so Ali can sit with me where I'm comfortable. The sight of this room knocks me sick." He frowns but gets up and helps me get into the bed, covering my lower half with the blanket so I'm decent.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me."

"Don't hold your breath." I see his shoulders sag and he slumps out of the room. A few minutes later and Ali comes in the room, smiling sadly at me.

"Can I be reassigned?" I say quickly.

"Oh, Hun. What's happened? We can talk it out and decide if you should get a new Dom."

"Ask me questions. It helps me say the right things." She nods, smiling.

"So you had class today. What happened there?"

"We spoke to sir, everything was okay and then Louis called me beautiful and kept saying it and I don't like it so I got in a mood. Then Louis was angry and so was I so we started arguing."

"Why weren't you at counselling?" "We got there early and we were arguing so Louis brought me home to punish me."

"What happened for the punishment?"

"Well he had me bend over the bed in our playroom while I was naked. Then he told me the only time I could speak was to safe word. He paddled me so much. I said yellow and I put my hands in the way. He hit my hands and I think I've broke a few fingers." Her face drops. "I said red and he told me I was doing it so I didn't get my punishment. So he carried on."

She looks a lot paler than before. "We need to go the nurse and get you checked then. I won't allow Louis near you until you say so and his dad will be contacted." "I'm not dressed and I don't think I can do it myself. I'm not going to ask you to help. Can Zayn come and help me?"

"Yeah sure."

Zayn comes in a few minutes later with Liam and a frown on his face. "Fuck me, you look rough."

"Hey no swearing." Zayn nods. "Sorry, sir. Can you leave the room while I help Harry get dressed?"

"If it's okay I'd like to stay, assess the damage." I shrug, fed up with everything. They help me out of bed, grabbing me a pair of boxers and joggers, wincing when I whimper at the feeling off it on my bum.

"Haz, can you just turn around so I can see your bottom? I'm not going to touch, just want to see." I do as he's asked and close my eyes when I hear the gasp. "Okay." I get Zayn to pull up my pants again for me and Liam helps me put on a top.

"You can stay at ours if you'd like? While you're figuring what you want to do out. Reassignment usually takes a while, just to be sure."

"Yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks you two." Zayn smiles, giving me a gentle hug.

"I hope you're okay Harry. We'll get some of your clothes while you go the nurse," Liam says softly, ushering me out of the room when he's helped me get my shoes on.

I go downstairs, stopping outside of the living room door when I hear Louis crying.

"I'm such an idiot, Ali. Can you try and convince him to stay with me?" I walk in clearing my throat. His head snaps up to look at me. "Ali. Can we go the nurse now? 'M hands are really hurting," I say quietly, avoiding Louis' eye contact. She nods, patting Louis on the back when she goes past. "Can I talk to you for a minute Haz?" Louis says weakly.

"If you refer to me as your equal you may," I say tightly. Ali taps me on the shoulder.

"Should I stay in here while you talk in case?"

"Nothing will happen. Just talking. It's fine, thanks Ali." She nods again, walking out of the room once I'm sat painfully on the couch.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. That doesn't change what you've done."

"I-I know. I'm just hoping you'll forgive me," he says sadly.

"I don't know how many times I can forgive you for the same thing."

"Just think about it? We'll have no more spanking punishments unless you want them. How did you get changed?"

"Liam and Zayn helped me. I'm staying at their house until we sort out the reassignment. I'd prefer it if you don't visit too often."

"What can I do to change your mind?"

"I'm scared to give you the chance to ever be with me like that again so I don't know."

 

We go to the nurse, she straps up my fingers, my ring and pinky finger broken on my right hand and my pinky on my left. I move into the spare room in Liam and Zayn's and I get to know them, growing more and more comfortable with the couple.

 

Louis visits the day after I've moved out to speak to Liam and he tries to kiss me but I duck out of the way and go back to my room. It hurts me to miss the opportunity to have his lips on me even after all he's done. I have sessions with Ali and speak to Louis' father. They both think it's completely up to me. But I want some guidance. Maybe being with a Dom wasn't so bad after all.

 

Louis has started anger management sessions and says he's making really good progress. That's how everyday pans out.

For a week.


	21. Chapter 21

On the eighth day of my stay, Liam comes up to tell me that Mr. Johnson wishes to see me.

So I walk to my classroom, wrapped up in my coat that Zayn helped me get on. I've got the hang of getting dressed but certain things are difficult. I knock on the door, walking in to the room.

"Um, hello?" No one answers. I turn around slowly. I watch the door expecting sir to come through there but I flinch when a voice is cleared.

"Harry?" All the emotions come back. A tornado is currently in my stomach, so much stronger than butterflies. It hits me just how much I miss Louis.

"Louis." I turn around, biting my lip when I see him. He looks gorgeous, a black suit on, his hair in a fringe over his forehead.

"I miss you." The tension in the room is so thick you could cut through it with a knife.

"Me too." I surprise the both of us by saying it back.

"Are you getting reassigned?"

"I don't think so. But it feels wrong to still want to be with you." "Nothing you ever want is wrong," Louis says softly, backing me up until my back hits the wall. "I want you too. And if it's wrong I don't want to be right." I laugh.

"You're going soft."

"I'm always hard when it comes to you," he whispers, biting on my ear. Being this close to him and not having his lips on mine is really bothering me.

"Lou," I whimper, not able to grab onto him because of my hands. "Yes darling?"

"Kiss me?" He wastes no time, pressing his lips to mine in a desperate kiss.

"Take me back?" He whispers against my mouth. "Please?" His hands are grabbing at my shoulders. Sliding up and down my torso. I press my hands to his chest and he moves away straight away.

"We need to sit with Ali and your dad. Have a long talk. We need to set boundaries. But I'll try if you will."

"Of course I will. Can I kiss you again?"

"Feel free," I smile, swallowing his kiss, whimpering into his mouth when he lifts me up against the wall.

"You're so fucking gorgeous." "Don't. Not now. Want to go home, cuddle and go to sleep." He nods his head, taking my wrist instead of my hand and we walk home.

"Do you want to go and tell Liam or can I just call him? Same with Ali. My dad will be told by Ali." "Just ring them. We can get my stuff tomorrow and have a session too, if that's okay?"

"Of course it's okay. Would you like to start with the Dom sub stuff now or in a few days?"

"I think now would be better so I am not left anticipating," I mutter. "Might help me get into this supposed headspace."

"Okay darling. Do I need to help you get changed?"

"More than likely. It's hard to grip things with my hands like this, sir."

"Are you sure you want to call me sir?"

"Think it'll get me into my headspace quicker?" I say, phrasing like a question, unsure if I'm correct.

"Have you been thinking about this a lot?"

"Constantly," I admit. He smiles, kissing my forehead.

"Alright. Go upstairs and pick what pjs you want to wear while I ring this lot. Do you want a bath or shower?"

"Had a bath this morning," I say shaking my head.

"Okay, love, go do what I've said." "Yes sir."

And the smile on his face when I look back at him is so worth it.


	22. Chapter 22

"Haz?"  
"Mhm?"  
"We need to get up," Louis yawns. We're currently tangled on our bed, minding my hands.   
"'M comfy, though."  
"So am I, babe. But we're going to miss speaking to my dad. He's a busy man, Harry. And he'll have my neck if we're late."  
"Okay. Do we have to wear our uniform?"  
"No. We don't have a reason to today and no one will say anything. Just need to get you washed and dressed, don't we?"

"Yes sir," I mumble sleepily.   
"Thank you," he smiles, his lips covering mine. "Thank you so much."  
"Ew, morning breath," I laugh, covering his mouth with my hand, giggling when he pretends to bite at my fingers. 

"You do realise if it happens again there won't be a second thought, you'll be out of my life immediately?"  
"I respect that. Though that doesn't mean I wouldn't fight for you. There won't be a next time though. Okay? So we're going to get a shower, we can change your dressings on your fingers and then we can get dressed and head to my dads. Sound okay baby?"  
"Yes sir."  
"We still need to have a talk about head spaces and collars, don't we?"  
"I think my head space is more important than the collars. But what happened last week is more important."  
"You couldn't be more right, Hun. Now out of bed and into the bathroom."

 

I do as he has told me and walk slowly into the bathroom, stripping off carefully. I turn on the shower and undo the strappings on my fingers. 

Louis comes in, setting my dressings on the side, after I've steeped in the shower. He also has clothes with him.  
"Harry, are jeans okay?"  
"Can't really unzip 'em to go the loo, sir."  
"Joggers then, yeah? That or you tell me when you need to wee and I'll help you?"  
"Prefer the joggers. Is that okay sir?"  
"Yup. Good boy for being polite and checking with me," he smiles. "Got a cup of tea waiting for you downstairs."

 

We get washed together and Louis does my hair so I don't tangle my fingers.   
"Sir?"  
"Yes, darling?" He hums, pressing a kiss to my neck.   
"Think I need to be shaved again," I say, my voice small. Now that my hair has started to grow back again I've realised how much I prefer being smooth and hair-free.  
"We'll go and get you waxed later on okay? That way you stay hairless for longer."  
"Thank you."  
"No problem babe."

Louis helps me get dressed, even after I've insisted I'm fine on my own now that he's given me baggy clothes that are easy to pull on. 

But he won't allow me to change myself so I stand there, shaky and unbalanced while he dresses me, kissing my head once he's done. He wraps my fingers, hushing my pained noises with a kiss.  
"I'll do your shoes once you're downstairs," he says, patting me on the bum, telling me to go.   
"Thank you."  
"What for?"  
"Helping me get dressed."  
"It was my pleasure," he winks. "Not everyday you get to shower, wash and clothe a man as pretty as you." I blush, walking out of the room to go and get my tea. 

He comes downstairs, tying my shoes onto my feet, kissing my legs and he sits down to have breakfast with me. 

"I have a friend, Tommy who works in the waxing place. He can do it for free and he's really nice. Knows what school I go to and everything, so he'll understand. But he'll have to touch you in very intimate places, Harry. I just want to make sure you know that 1, you can safe word and I'll stop him. And 2, it means nothing. He's simply working and he has to do it, try to stay calm. He is used to it and it doesn't bother him, okay? What's your colour?"  
"G-green, sir."  
"Good boy." After a moment of silence, he speaks up. 

"Have you ever thought about calling me anything other than sir?"  
"No, it's what you've told me to call you so besides sir and your name, no."  
"You ever thought about daddy?" I gasp, recoiling in my chair. 

"Hey, don't do that, come and sit on my knee. Want to talk to you about it." I shuffle over, refusing to look him in the eye while I climb into his lap. 

"Now, will you think about it? I don't mind if you really don't want to but I like the idea of you calling me daddy. Mainly because it gives me more protection over you and if I'm honest it turns me on a lot. So can you try? Do it for me today and we can decide?"  
"I'm not sure," I gulp, hand tensing painfully in Louis'.  
"How many things have we tried and you thought you wouldn't like, but you ended up liking? You fucking love being flogged. You find comfort in being pinned down and kneeling. You're going to get waxed. You chose to stay with me," he presses, his lips finding the side of my head.   
"Okay."  
"Okay what?"  
"Daddy." 

My stomach flutters, like I'm a child who's getting away with something naughty. I grin, feeling absolutely fucking relieved that I maybe- kinda like it. It feels like I'm giving him an important role, where he has to look after me. I like the idea of it, I just have to get used to it.   
"Good boy. Now give daddy a kiss." I blush, pushing my head up to kiss him. "My gorgeous boy aren't you? Now, let's go and see my step dad."

"Do I have to call you daddy there?"  
"Can you try? You can say you don't want to and still call me sir, but I'd love it if you called me daddy."  
"I'll try," I nod. "That was our agreement." 

I don't know whether I say it to give myself an excuse or to remind us both.   
"And I'm trying to be calmer. How do you think I'm doing?" He smiles while he shrugs in his coat.  
"Doing well, daddy," I mutter.   
"I'm so proud of you, y'know?"  
"I know. Thank you."

We walk to Mark's, as he's told me to call him as we've got to know each other. He brought up the idea of calling Louis Daddy to me the other day, maybe Louis had mentioned it to him. 

Open mind, Harry, open mind.

"Louis, Harry! So good to see you," Mark grins, letting us into his house, so we aren't freezing in the cold. "How're your fingers, Haz?"  
"I'm managing," I smile, sitting on the couch with Louis.   
"Oh yeah, I am absolutely fine, dad, thanks for asking," Louis says sarcastically.   
"Shut up, Louis," Mark laughs.

"So, you've thought long and hard, Harry. Are you sure you want to stay with Louis?"  
"Yes."  
"How was last night?"  
"Good. We just went home, didn't we Harry and went to sleep?"  
"Yes daddy," I whisper. His hand squeezes my leg, reassuring me that I'm okay.   
"Are things okay?" Mark asks carefully.   
"Me and Harry are trying something new, aren't we darling?"  
"Yes daddy." I'm just as quiet as before.   
"Couldn't hear you," Louis says, gently coaxing me to speak louder.   
"Yes daddy," I say, my breaths shaky and shallow. 

"Oh, I see. Good. So how do you feel about this Harry?" I've gotten rather close to Mark now, having spoke about almost everything about Louis and I with him. I feel like I can talk to him about these things. 

"I quite like it really, but that itself is a shock to the system. I just want to stay open to new things because I'm not going to have a good time if I'm not. But yeah, calling Louis daddy gives me a good feeling."  
"That's great. Be sure to talk to Ali about this, okay?"

We talk for a while longer before we have to leave.   
"Right, goodbye you two. Do you fancy coming over for dinner on Sunday?"  
"Haz?" Louis asks, nodding to his dad.   
"Sounds great. Thanks Mark." He smiles and gives both of us a hug before we make our way to the counselling office.  
"Looks like you're getting to know each other," Louis says as we walk, his arm around my waist.   
"Well, I've spoken to him everyday for the past week so yeah, we are," I shrug.   
"That's good. Want you two to get along. Want us to get along."  
"So do I."  
"Good. Gonna give me a kiss?"  
"Yes."  
"Yes what?"  
"Yes, daddy," I smile, pressing my lips to Louis' as he pulls my head closer, fingers pulling at my hair. 

"Love it when you say that." I simply nod and we go into Ali's office. 

"Want you to kneel for me, okay?"  
"Okay." He presses a short kiss to my lips before I sink to my knees and he sits down.

Ali walks over, absolutely beaming.   
"You two look better."  
"Feel it," Louis agrees.

We discuss everything that's happened since last week, deciding that it was a big mistake on Louis part and that if he ever feels the need to punish me he shall do so once he's calm. I like that rule. We discuss calling Louis daddy and whether this'll change our dynamics.

"Unless Harry wants to, we're not going to treat him like an infant. Is that something you're interested in?"  
"Not at all."  
"Okay. Maybe a nappy could be a punishment, though?"  
"I'd rather it not be," I pout.   
"I know, but that's why it's a punishment. We'll figure it out yeah?"  
"Yes daddy." 

Every time the words pass my lips, my mouth tingles with excitement, like it did when I was twelve and had my first proper kiss.

We talk about headspaces and decide that I do have one and the way to get me into that is to be kind but firm with me, until I'm pliant and obedient. We talk about why I didn't like being complimented.  
"Just something I'm not used to, I guess."

The collar is brought up briefly. I end up agreeing. It'll stop Louis' nagging and he's proved me wrong with everything else so why would this be any different? He tells me he'll take me shopping once I've been waxed. 

 

"Harry, meet Tommy. Tommy, this is Harry, my sub."  
"Good to meet you, Harry, heard good things," he smiles.  
"You have?" I blush, shaking his hand out.   
"Of course he has, you're wonderful," Louis smiles.  
"'Kay, maybe I don't mind that kind of compliment," I say quietly into Louis' ear as we walk to one of the back rooms.

"Harry, just strip off. I'm sure if Louis has any specific things he wants you to do he'll tell you," he says nicely.   
"Thanks, Tom. Go on Haz, get you kit off and lie down on your back for us," Louis says gently, sitting next to the bench. 

I fumble with getting everything off, having to get Louis to help me take off my shirt.   
"Thanks," I mumble abashedly.   
"No problem, lovely. Do as I've said or I'll spank you when we get home."  
"Yellow," I whimper, eyes widening as I step away from Louis.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Last time," I say, hinting towards the last time he spanked me.  
"Oh love, that's in the past, yeah? Never going to happen again. I promise. Now give daddy a kiss." I sigh out a shuddery breath, steeping forward to kiss him, blushing when Tom clears his throat. 

 

"You use the red, yellow, green system, right, Harry?"  
"Yeah."  
"Want you to use that now then so I know if you need a breather. I'm sure you'd do it anyway though, for Louis' sake."  
"Okay. Yeah, sounds good." I lie down, whimpering when Louis grabs my wrists tightly in his grip, pulling them above my head so I'm stretched out. 

He does my armpits and chest first. They hurt like hell. I swear a few times, earning a light scolding from Louis, but he kisses me to hush my words, commanding me to be still for Tom. 

I cry when he does my pubes. Not because it hurts even though it does, but I've only just become accustomed to Louis downs there and now he's there and my brain goes to a pile of mush.   
"You're okay sweetheart. Colour?"  
"Green, sir."  
"That's not my name," he reminds lightly.   
"Daddy," I cry. 

I cry even harder when he waxes my crack and balls. But Tom carries on, comforted by the fact I'm still green. He does my legs last, giving me a chance to calm down and then it's over. Thank fuck.

"Did so good for me, Haz. We're going to wipe you down and get you dressed, okay?" Louis says sweetly, voice hushed and whispered in my ear.  
"Mhm," I hum, closing my eyes tightly to rid of the last of my tears. 

"My wonderful boy. Going to go home and we can have lunch and then we can go and buy your collar, yeah?" I nod my head. "What was that?"  
"Yes, daddy."  
"Your mouth is fucking sinful. Gonna have to put it to good use later on, yeah, babe? Gonna blow Daddy?" I go quiet, ignoring his question. "Will you, Harry?"  
"Yes daddy."  
"Thank you."

 

He does everything he's said, helps wipe me down, dresses me and he drives home.

"What do you want for lunch?" He asks once we're in the house.   
"Not bothered," I shrug.  
"Want to go out? Have a date?" He pulls me towards him, hands on my waist. I tuck my head into his neck, kissing at his collar bone.  
"That'd be nice."  
"Okay. How're your fingers?"  
"Killing."  
"Sorry baby. Do you want to take some painkillers?"  
"Yes please."

I take some paracetamol and he helps me pull on a pair of jeans, making me pee before we leave. He pulls up to this large restaurant, hugging the owners when we arrive. 

"Beth, Jude, this is Harry, my sub. Harry say hello," he nudges me in the back.   
"Aren't you precious?" Beth says as she pulls me away from Louis. "Louis always wanted a challenge, didn't ya Lou? So are you troublesome?" She smiles, turning me round and looking me over. "What happened to your hands?"

"Miscommunication on my part. But that over with now, isn't it darlin'?" Louis says sadly, pulling me away from the cheery woman.   
"Yeah," I nod, tucking my shoulder into Louis' side.  
"Okay," she backs off, sensing its a touchy subject. "How's your dad doing now Louis?"  
"He's great, James is coming down again soon, he's been away for family stuff but he's back this weekend." 

They talk for a little while longer before we go and sit down at the back.   
"Whose James?"  
"Dads fiancé. Getting married next year."  
"Oh, he didn't mention it."  
"He was talking to you to sort your troubles and life, not his," he reminds softly, laying my hand on top of his.   
"I know. Just wondered. It'd never come into conversation." He shrugs and passes me a menu. 

"The bacon and cheese burger is lovely here," he recommends, licking his lips like he's trying to taste it already.   
"Can I have the grilled chicken salad?"  
"You want a salad?" He says, obviously surprised.   
"Yeah what's wrong with that?"  
"No need to get defensive, mister. Just wasn't expecting it." I shrug and put the menu down.   
"What drink do you want?" Louis asks when a waiter comes over, after already telling him my order. 

"Dr. Pepper please."  
"Okay."

We sit in silence until our food arrives.   
"What kind of collar do you want?"  
"You say it like I've been shopping for collars before. I don't often go shopping for something that makes me look like an animal and could possibly restrict my breathing."  
"You're not in your headspace are you?"  
"No. Not at all," I sigh, picking at my food.   
"That's okay." I look up at him, confused. Okay? Since when is that okay?

"What?"  
"Yeah, I don't expect you to be there all the time. It'd be nice if you were but you're new. No one is in their headspace constantly. Don't beat yourself up about it," he smiles.  
"It's fine for you to beat me up though isn't it?" I snap. He coughs loudly.   
"Harry don't," he sighs, running his hands over his face. "Eat your food quietly, I don't want any more remarks, smart arse."  
"I hate this."  
"You don't like your food?"   
"I like the food. I mean everything. I absolutely hate it." 

 

"Why're you crying?" He huffs, I guessing he's fed up of me being a mess so much.   
"Because I'm so shit at it. I'm so fucking terrible and you've had your chance to change subs but you chose not to and I'm scared you're going to want to change your mind. Everyone else is so fucking perfect yet here I am, crying at a table in a restaurant that was meant to be nice for our first date and I have ruined everything," I sob, rushing my words. It's surprising to me when Louis understands.

"You haven't ruined anything at all, lovely. Come over 'ere for me?" I shuffle over and curl into his chest, crying and sniffling on his shirt.  
"I'd never change subs. No matter how naughty you are, I'm not changing subs. I want you to stop comparing yourself to other people. You're so wonderful and amazing for me. Even when you're not being submissive. You're gorgeous and incredible. I'd be a fool to let you go, Harry." 

So we sit curled up together, eating our lunch.   
"Ready to go collar shopping?"  
"Do I have to?"  
"Still not in your headspace?" He frowns, getting his coat on.   
"Getting there," I shrug, thanking him while he helps me get mine on.   
"I prefer it when you are."  
"I'm starting to think I do too," I whisper. 

 

"We can try a few on you, okay? I know the person who owns the shop. I also want you to pick anything up if you're interested. Understand?"  
"Yup." He raises an eyebrow.   
"Yes, who?"  
"Yes daddy."  
"Such a good boy," he grins, pulling me into his side as he places money on the table and we leave. 

 

The shop is warm when we enter, a few people bustling about. Immediately you can tell its a kinky shop, with shelves stocked with everything you can think of and more. I don't know what half of this stuff is either, so that makes it even more intimidating. 

"You okay, babe?"  
"Yeah," I choke out.   
"Want you to get used to calling me by my title when you answer me. Okay?"  
"Yes daddy."  
"Good. Have a browse while I go find Mary."  
"Who is Mary?"  
"The owner of this shop and a very close friend of my dads. She supplies a lot of the toys for school. Now be good and don't miss me too much." I roll my eyes as he walks away, admiring the way his hips sway. 

I stare blankly at everything, eyes widening when I see a butt plug in the shape of a fist.   
"What the fuck?" I look around for Louis but can't see him anywhere so decide to actually look around. Something catches my eye, seemingly interesting, apparently called 'anal beads' which don't sound great but look rather peculiar. I steer clear of the chastity devices, knowing that if Louis finds me looking at them, he'll assume I like them and get me to buy one. 

Louis eventually comes back when I'm looking at floggers and wraps an arm around my waist, kissing my cheek.   
"I've got you a basket, babe. Want you to choose some stuff. Want you to ask though, too."  
"I really don't feel comfortable."  
"Haz, I've rimmed you, flogged you, spanked you, watched you wank, made you ask permission for orgasms yet this isn't okay?" He says calmly, squeezing my side. 

"It's different. I'm given the choice and I don't know what a lot of this is."  
"Ask what they are then, darling."  
"I want a flogger." He tells me to choose any I want so, hesitantly, I grab a brown leather, plaited flogger, putting it in the basket.   
"Anything else you are curious about?"

"Anal beads," I squeak, closing my eyes waiting for his reaction.   
"I think we can both enjoy you using them. Want to get some?"  
"Yeah."  
"Okay, they're good for stretching you," he smiles, dragging me over to the bit with the items we're looking for. We pick a purple set that are slightly see through, the largest having a 4 inch diameter and a metal set too. 

"Can't wait to use both of these on you. Want you to choose a normal plug, an inflatable plug and anything else you want. I'll get you a vibe and nipple clamps and maybe pumps."

 

Once we've purchased all of our items, my face beet red and hot, Louis drags me to the back of the shop.  
"Mary, this is Harry."  
"Oh, hi sweetheart. You're looking for a collar, right?"

Mary is a short, older woman with curly ginger hair and glasses that rest at the end of her nose. 

"Yeah." She smiles and takes me away from Louis, bringing me over to a wall full of collars.   
"Take your pick Harry," Louis grins, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. "Want one that's pretty like you," he murmurs, kissing my neck.   
"Can I try that one on?"I ask, pointing to the plain, black leather band with a sparkly letter in the middle.

"Change it to an L though?" I nod making Louis smile. "Of course you can.We could get you one that's on a chain, so it's just like a necklace? Less like a collar," Louis offers.   
"Can I try both?" He nods. I choose another, a gold heart locket in the middle of the white leather band. It looks pretty. 

I try all of them on and we decide to get the necklace type and the white collar with a heart. They feel nicest, the weight on my collar bones comfortable but present. We chose both just so I have a choice, so I could eventually pick my preference.   
"Thanks Mary," Louis smiles once we've bought them. 

 

We get in the car and Louis pulls me into a long, slow kiss.   
"You're amazing. You blow me away every day."  
"Thank you daddy."  
"No problem, love. Gonna go home, get your collar on and maybe we could revisit the idea of you coming just by touching your nipples, hey? Maybe I could flog you, too." 

I fiddle with my hands in my lap, feeling my dick start to get hard at the thought. "Love how I can get you so hot so easily. Just the idea of your nipples being touched and being flogged has you worked up." I whine, palming myself through my jeans, using the heel of my palm so I don't hurt my fingers. 

"Never said you could touch," Louis says calmly as he pulls out of his space.   
"Please- God can I touch myself?"  
"Not until we're at home. Hands off or you're not getting anything nice." I groan, pulling my hands behind my head. Louis looks at me curiously. 

"Can't sit on 'em and this way I won't touch myself," I whimper an explanation.  
"My good boy. So clever." I flush, feeling all too hot in my clothes. "Think I might not let you come, introduce you to a cock ring or cage. How's that sound?"  
"No-no, please let me come. I'll be good." God, what has he done to me?

"I know you will but it will teach you not to touch yourself without permission."  
"How was I supposed to know? Masturbation is a yes on our contract."  
"So it is. We'll have to change that. Don't want you touching yourself anymore, okay? You are only to be touched like that by me and only me."

I whimper, climbing out of the car as we pull up outside his house. 

"Get upstairs into the playroom. I'll help you change, I just need to get a few things okay?" I nod, leaving him with a soft kiss on the lips before I run upstairs. I wait until he comes in, still with the bags but now he has bottled water and some granola bars.

"What're they for?"  
"So I can look after you once we've finished. Think you can go under today?" I raise an eyebrow, confused. "If I say go under I mean go into subspace. Do you think you can? Do you want to?"

"If I can, I want to, if not I don't want to force it."  
"Okay, darling. I think you can though. You'll be good for me right?" He whispers as he undresses me slowly.   
"Yeah."  
"Say it."

"I'll be good for you daddy."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry thinks really badly of himself in this chapter so I just want you guys to know before going and radingng it! It's nicer in the next chapter!

So that's how I wound up here, sat up against the headboard, arms crossed and held above me, legs hoisted up and back so I'm completely and utterly exposed.

"So fucking hot. Make daddy so hard, Harry." I whimper, throwing my head back. He hasn't touched my dick once and it's throbbing and red against my stomach, smearing pre come on my abs every time I wiggle.

"God, please Louis. Touch me please," I beg, straining in my restraints.

"You think I should, even when you're not calling me by my proper name?"

"Daddy," I sigh, closing my eyes.

Why can't I get this right? I so badly want to do well but I just can't. What's wring with me? Everyone else seems to be dealing with it fine.

"Want to take things nice and slow okay? So I don't want you to beg because it won't get you anywhere. I have tonight planned out." I nod, trying to relax into my bindings.

 

"Do you think you'd like to do yoga? Could make doing this stuff a lot more interesting," he suggests.

"Because whips, vibrators and punishments aren't exciting enough?" I joke. He smiles, thank god, he smiles.

"You know what I meant. Could make it even more pleasurable for you, too. Do you want to?"

"I'll give it a go," I say, shrugging to the best of my ability. I'm not looking at him, haven't since he tied me up.

"Thank you. I'll go too if it makes you feel better." I simply smile in response, and hum as he runs his hands up and down the backs of my thighs.

"So smooth. So beautiful." He continues with soft, caring caresses, touching every bit of me he can, avoiding my dick. Wow.

 _Thanks so much_.

My brain feels like jelly, incapable of thinking anything other than ' _Louis, Louis, daddy, sir.'_

"Will you look at me Haz?"

"Don't want to."

"I'm not starting this properly until you look at me and talk to me." I huff out a breath and pull my head up, looking into his eyes.

"Thank you. What's your colour?" "Green."

"Want to talk for a bit, okay? Want to add a new word for you to use." "Okay."

"If you say purple, that means you want to want a break. Not just yellow, pause like- I mean, take you out of your restraints, get you a drink, look after you and when you're green put you back." "Okay. Sounds good."

"I also want to tell you about a few things I bought from the shop you might not know about. I bought a few pairs of panties for you to try on. I know we haven't discussed it but I couldn't resist. I bought a few new cock rings and a chastity belt. I know we're not doing that yet but I think we could do a trial for it? But it's a special one so I'll show you after this."

 

Once we've spoken for a few minutes and Louis has checked that nothing is numb, he digs around in the bags and pulls a few things out, setting them on the bed. He sits in front of me, a small grin on his face. I groan as he dips his head down, sucking and biting at my nipples, alternating with his hands and mouth so they get equal treatment. I can't even buck up when I'm tied like this.

"Fuck. Oh my god. Daddy!" He grins, tugging on my nipples to get them long and hard.

"You ready for the clamps?"

"Yes. Please, daddy."

"Okay darling. I'm going to adjust them so they aren't too tight." I nod, watching his hands as they bring an open clamp to my nipple, tightening the screw on the side which tightens the clamp making me whimper and writhe.

"Daddy, daddy! Fuck!" He does the same to the other side, smiling at my loud noises and please for him to get on with it. The clamps are attached with a chain in the middle of them which weigh them down so if I move they do too, and if Louis pulls on them they bite into my skin harder. It's incredible.

"How do you like them, then baby?"

"Good." I can't even make sense. Bet I look ridiculous.

"What do you say to daddy?" "Thank you daddy."

"What for?" He prompts, sitting patiently.

"Thank you for buying me new toys and things to play with?" "And?" He prompts

"Thank you for making me feel good."

"You're very welcome, darling. Doing so well aren't you?"

"'M only doing what you've told me to do," I shake my head. "Exactly. You're behaving so well."

He kisses my knee, rubbing soothing circles into my thigh as he pulls on the clamps making my dick twitch.

"God, you want to come don't you?"

"Yes daddy." He grins and teases me with hot kisses and bites, trailing the flogger up and down my legs, massaging at my perineum with the end of the handle, prodding it against my hole which makes my stomach clench deliciously.

"Please. Make me come."

He shakes his head, sucking loves bites into my thighs. I thrash in my restraints as he hovers his mouth close to my dick, hot breath fanning over my sensitive skin. He licks the precome off of my stomach, so close but never actually touching me.

"Please," I cry, tears falling now. I'm not used to being teased like this at all.

"But we have all night," he grins. "You beg so prettily, but I've already told you not to."

"Sorry," I sob harder as he runs his tongue over my hole. His fingers trace over my cock so lightly that the touch is hardly there yet at the same time it's all I can feel.

"Daddy!"

"Want to come? Gonna come?" He grins pulling and wiggling the chain harder. I nod my head quickly and he moves his hand away from my dick making me whine at the loss. I can't linger on it too long because he yanks the clamps off by the chain. My back arches at the pain of the blood rushing back to my nipples, making them feel hypersensitive, as if the air effects them. My dick twitches, hard but I don't come.

 

Nothing.

 

"Oh," Louis says sounding really disappointed and it makes me cry harder, pulling at my restraints.

"Hey, calm down, what wrong?" "Green,"I cry.

I can prove I'm good. I can show him that I'll be good for him. Only for him. He doesn't want me now but maybe he will if he knows I can be good for him. Even I know I'm shit at behaving.

"Love, can you stop crying for me? Doing so well, almost finished." I nod, sniffling and halting my tears. "Yes daddy."

"Good boy."

I'm not. He kisses me gently before bending down and taking me fully in his mouth.

"You can come whenever you want."

"Don't want to come. Want you to come first." Maybe if I make him feel good but don't feel good myself, he'll think I'm being better.

"Okay darling. Want to suck daddy off?"

"Do you want me to?" He nods, undoing my restraints and rubbing my limbs to let the blood flow freely again.

"Then yes, daddy."

"Okay, can daddy fuck your face?" I nod my head quickly.

 

Anything to please daddy. He'll know I'm good then. I let him wrestle me onto my back so my head is resting on the pillows and he shuffles up so he's straddling my chest. He teases the both of us by just smearing precome onto my lips.

"Open up for daddy." I open my mouth as wide as I can, trying to relax my jaw and throat.

"God you're so fucking good for me. So pretty and beautiful."

I close my eyes and breathe through my nose as he fists my hair in his hands, thrusting his hips towards my face. He lasts for a while, my jaw aching and slobber in his pubes and on my chin.

 

But when he does come, he holds my face close to his skin and makes me swallow every last drop.

"Did so good for daddy. Want to come now?"

"No thank you," I say dazedly. "Want me to get cold water?" "Please daddy." He nods, kissing me gently before he goes to the bathroom and returns with a cold, damp face cloth. I whimper, trying my best to stay still as he wraps it around my dick and keeps it there until I'm soft.

"Want to go to our bed?"

"Can I sleep in the spare room?" I ask quietly.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Just get too hot when I sleep with you after a scene. It's nothing personal."

 

Yeah it is. It's to do with the fact that Louis is too blind to see that I'm a horrible sub.

"O-okay," he frowns. He helps me up and tucks me in when we get to the other bedroom.

"Night, Haz. Shout me if you need me."

When he closes the door, I turn onto my side and cry myself to sleep.Why should I be with Louis who is so kind and understanding when I'm so shit and can't even abide by the simplest of rules? Louis fucking hates me, I can guarantee. And I don't blame him.


	24. Chapter 24

When I wake up, I'm cold and feel like I'm going to be sick. My head is throbbing, like I've been out for a night with the lads back home or something.

 

What is wrong with me? I want to shout for Louis but I don't want to interrupt him from whatever he's doing, so I snuggle further into the duvet and close my eyes, questioning what happened before.

I was a shit sub. To cut a long story short, anyway. I was so bad and Louis was so kind and I don't deserve anyone as good as him.

And even after all he's done for me, he's never judged me, he fought for me, helped me discover my sexuality, helped me when my mum told me I wasn't her son. I haven't done anything for him.

Gave him a blow job? I don't have to wait long to see Louis anyway though, because he walks into the room with a tray of food.

"Sit up babe." I do and thank him when he gives me the tray of food; scrambled eggs on toast. "You okay?"

"Feel kind of sick," I shrug. "Cold, headache."

"Like you've got a hangover?" He asks, looking concerned.

"Yeah why?"

"Doesn't matter. I've gotta make a phone call."

He excuses himself while I eat and the next time he comes in, there's no food left and he has Mark with him.

"Hi Harry," Mark smiles tightly. They both seem quite uncomfortable.

"What's going on? Are you reassigning me? Oh please don't, I'll be good, I promise. I'm sorry about before, I couldn't help it!" I beg, crying all of a sudden. Louis sits on the bed and pulls me to his chest, containing my flailing limbs in a hug and I cry into his t shirt.

"No Harry," he admonishes. "I'm never getting reassigned. Now what's all of this about, hey? You were incredible before. What was bad about it?"

"You were so disappointed in me. I couldn't come when you wanted me to, I kept calling you Louis and I told you what to do."

"Ah, I see. This is what the no orgasm thing was about, right? Don't be silly, Haz. C'mon, let's get you all wrapped up in our room and we can talk about it when you feel better. Okay?"

"Yes daddy."

"Do you actually want to call me that?"

"I'll call you whatever you want me to."

Louis sighs and he and his dad exchange a look. See, I've upset them again.

I start crying again, wetting Louis' shirt more now and he hushes me, carrying me into our room. He puts on X-men and curls his arms around me with the blanket over us.

The whole time we lie there, he tells me how good I am. Maybe if he says it enough I'll believe him. I hope so. After a while, my head feels clearer even though I don't remember it feeling cloudy in the first place and I can actually comprehend things without getting teary eyed now.

"What was wrong with me?" I ask quietly.

"You're back to me?" Louis grins, dipping his head down for a kiss. "It was sub drop. It can be caused by a lot of things, mainly because the high of a scene wears off and then you feel sad and down because of it. But I think you were being nasty to yourself weren't you? Kept telling yourself you weren't good enough, hey?"

"Yeah," I mutter.

"Well that's not true and I'll do whatever it takes to make you see that," he promises.

"Even make me a cup of tea? I could really do with one right now." He laughs and nods.

"Even make you a cup of tea!" Louis grins. "You're coming with me though. Want to keep an eye on you."

I nod and, wrapped in the blanket still, follow him downstairs. I sit in the living room, surprised to see Mark still here.

"How're you feeling Harry?" "Better now. Think I could do with some paracetamol though, heads still a bit sore."

"At least you're no longer dropped. Louis phoned me and asked me to come round when he realised what happened. He was terrified, wanted me to tell him what to do." "At least he has a good place to get help from. God knows what would've happened if he didn't have you to go to."

"Yeah, well let's not dwell on the bad, hey?"

I nod my head and grab the remote, turning the telly on, deciding futurama is okay to watch for now.

 

A few minutes later, Louis comes in with our tea and a coffee for his dad. He has clothes with him too, so brings me into the kitchen to dress me. I let go of the blanket and he holds up a pair of blue, lace panties.

"Are these okay? I think you'd look fab wearing them, but I got boxers in case it was too soon."

"Looks like a may as well day, today," I shrug and step into them.

I turn my head to see them and I have to admit my arse looks good in these. And they're soft. Kind of uncomfortable around my dick but it's nothing I won't get used to.

He kisses my knee and helps me get a pair of pyjama pants on over them. He stands up and tugs a long sleeve white shirt over my head, watchful of my hands.

"You seriously chose white after we used nipple clamps?" I frown. "Well I brought a hoody down too, to keep you warm but if you don't want it..." He sighs.

"I do, I do. Sorry."

"Sorry who?"

"I don't really know what to call you now." He helps me zip up the hoody and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Whatever you want. Absolutely anything. Within reason," he adds when he sees me smile. Okay so no swearing. Nothing too rude  

"Can I just call you Louis or Lou?" "Of course. My name sounds lovely coming from your lips," he grins, pecking me lightly and pulling my bottom lip back with him.

"Fuck."

"Gotta work on your swearing still, darling. I don't mind it as much during play unless I've said but outside of our play, no more swearing okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Lou?"

"Hmm?" He hums from where his head is tucked into my collar.

"Is it okay if I still call you sir or daddy sometimes?"

"Of course lovely. I'm sure you'll slip into a pattern of using one soon enough."

We go back into the living room and Louis insists that I drink a full bottle of Lucozade energy. And that I get wrapped back up in the blanket.

"Am I not cuddly enough for you?" I smile.

"You're the cuddliest," he says rolling his eyes. But he snuggles into my side anyway and occupies his mouth with making marks on my neck. His dad leaves moments later, checking that we're still on for Sunday dinner tomorrow.

The answer of course is yes, I get to meet James and I'm actually quite excited to meet him, Mark sat and spoke about how James has heard a lot about me from Louis, making Louis blush and tell him to shut up.

 

And now he knows about me it'd be good to meet him and get to know more about him.

"Lovely, will you come over here?" Louis asks from the kitchen. I shuffle into the kitchen and wince at the cold on my feet.

"I'll get you some bed socks when we go shopping tomorrow, babe." He is sat on the bar stool, joggers low on his hips and fuck he looks like an angel. An angel that likes to beat me, but an angel nonetheless.

"Will you kneel for me, darling?" I smile, folding the blanket so I have something to kneel on.

"Yes daddy." And his face mirrors mine, just as shocked as I am. "You think you're going to call me daddy a lot?"

"Probably. But at least I have the choice to figure it out now." He pats my arm, telling me to kneel. So I do and look at the ground.

"I don't want you to avoid eye contact unless I've told you to, alright? Your eyes are too pretty for me not to see them." I blush but nod when I look back up at him.

"Can daddy put your collar on you?" I nod my head but realise my mistake when Louis frowns. "Yes daddy."

"Good boy. Which one do you want on?"

"Which one do you prefer?"

"I like both. Do you want to try on the necklace one on so we can go and have dinner? It'll ease you into wearing your collar in public." "Yes please, daddy." He unlocks the chain and bends down to lock it around my neck. He situates the L in between my collarbones, grinning as he stares down at me.

"So fucking great. Now come give daddy a kiss," he says softly, patting his lap. I get up and straddle his waist, connecting our lips and his hands tangle in my hair, pulling me closer to him.

"Thank you so much for this," he grins.

"Daddy," I pant.

"Yeah?" He says into my mouth, unwilling to break the kiss.

"Can you flog me with the new flogger?" Since the first time he did it I've been wanting it so much.

"Not now baby." I whine, pouting up at him.

"You've barely just came out of sub drop, I'm not risking it straight away. We'll do it sometime next week, okay? We're busy tomorrow and we'll be spending some time with my dad and James everyday and having a session with Ali everyday.

We've got one tomorrow at nine so we can do that, go clothes shopping and then go to my dads okay?"

"Yeah."

"For now, though, do you want to change into boxers and jeans or do you want to keep these on?" "Can I keep 'em on? It's nice, like a secret, doing it for you and only we know it. Want my jeans though."

"Yes you can and you don't have to explain yourself Harry. But thank you for doing it for me. Makes me very happy," he smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"You make me happy," I whimper, eyes closed. I don't tell people how I feel about them too often, if it's a good thing, I'm not into sappy stuff but being sappy with Louis is so different. It felt like it needed to be said.

"Oh my god, Harry you're going to be the death of me," he groans, mouth on mine again but this time the kiss is more heated and teeth are clashing.

"You make me very happy too," he grins, biting at my lips.

"Thank you," I sigh.

No ones ever told me that and I can get used to it, as long as it's coming from Louis' mouth.


	25. Chapter 25

Dinner isn't too eventful, Zayn gushes about my collar and Liam talks excitedly about how Zayn took his fist and Louis laughs when I wince, telling me that 'we'll work up to it, lovely.'

I shake my profusely while Zayn grins proudly, head held high, blush spread over his cheeks. 

Dinner isn't too eventful until I ruin it. 

"Is it something that's a no on our list?"  
"Yes."  
"Ah, currently." I shake my head, frowning into Louis' shoulder.   
"Hey, I was only teasing, babe. You're fine. Just me and Liam and Zayn," Louis reassures, sighing when I bite on his shoulder. 

"Are you feeling teary?" I nod my head, sniffling against his shoulder.  
"That is absolutely okay," he says, arms around my waist trying to pull me onto his knee.   
"Lou, no,"I whine, pushing him away. He grabs my hands making me shout. 

"Oww! Fingers, fingers!" I panic, pulling my hands to my face when he lets go.   
"I'm sorry, lovey. Want me to kiss it better?"  
"Don't. Stop treating me like a child. I'm not in the mood for it right now," I snap, shuffling away from him and scowling. 

"Hey, don't." 

Liam and Zayn are watching intensely and a few other couples around us are too. "Not in your headspace?"  
"Not at all," I frown, pressing my lips to my hurt hands. He shrugs.   
"Leave him to it," he mutters to Liam and Zayn. I frown, eyeing him suspiciously; usually he cuddles me and praises me until I am in my headspace. 

 

"I'm not going to get into my headspace at all if you ignore me,"I mutter.   
"Come over here then, you're the one who rejected the idea to sit on my knee." He's right. Stubbornly, I shuffle along and curl into his side. 

"There we go. Want you to call me my name even when you aren't there, help you get there quicker."  
"Yes daddy," I sigh into his mouth, enjoying the fingers pulling at my hair. 

"We're going to go and see Ali later, love. Change our policy on masturbation and fisting. And I want you to be good when I spank you tonight."  
"Since when am I being spanked?" I ask, shocked.   
"Since now," he says sternly. "Want to try out more impact play, you like flogging, reckon you'd like other stuff? Whipping, canes?"

"No thanks. Why am I being spanked? I haven't done anything wrong!" I protest. 

"Spanking doesn't always have to be a punishment. Want to use a paddle?"

"No." 

The thought of the paddles giving me horrific ideas of what could happen. What has already happened. My stomach sinks, filled with dread. I scramble backwards until I fall of my seat and continue until my backs at the wall, expecting a strike from a paddle. He moves after me, following me. 

"Harry-" he kneels on the floor to get to my height, sitting in front of me, watching with careful eyes.   
"Please don't hurt me!" I wail, hands coming up to protect my face. There are multiple pairs of eyes on me but the only ones that matter are Louis'. 

"I'm not going to hurt you," he huffs, sitting back on his heels. "You're scared of me?" And when I look up, I gasp at the tears going down his face. 

"What do I have to do? Don't be scared, please," he begs. He raises his hand to caress my cheek but I flinch away, watching Louis face drop.   
"I'm sorry, I can't do this," I cry and I get up and leave. 

I ignore Louis shouting after me and run home, the tears hastily running down my face by the time I drag some of my clothes and a few books into the spare room, locking the door behind me and curling into a ball, crying. 

Why am I still with him if he scares me so much? Is coping with me annoying him? Why does it matter? I'm just a fucking queer who's been forced to sub for someone, Louis nonetheless, who expects me to be fucked by him, show his friends how well he treats me, how submissive he can make me and I hate it. I hate it all. Most of all I hate the fact I'm crying over it. Crying over Louis, someone I'm so confused about yet so needy for no matter the situation. I rely on him now. And I can't fucking stand it.

It doesn't take long for the pleas for me to get out to start, Zayn, Liam and Louis outside of my door.   
"Why won't you leave me alone?" I sob, crawling away from the door as if even the mere presence of Louis is terrifying.   
"We don't want you to drop again." It's Liam. 

Of course it's Liam; always one willing to speak for Louis if he needs it. But often on my side.   
"Let me in, Haz," Louis begs, crying still on the other side of the door. Hesitantly, I crawl over to the door and lean against it as if it will put me in their presence. But I don't want to open the door. That'll mean seeing them, making this real. 

"I want Zayn in here. I trust Zayn." I hear Liam's whine of 'hey, what about me?' and laugh.

"Li you can come in too if you want. Thought you'd want to stay out there with Louis. Calm him down before he does something stupid again."  
"What has he already done?" It's Zayn.   
"Oh I don't know- broke three of my fingers with a p-paddle."  
"You can go," Louis says. I open the door to let them both in and close it quickly once they've entered. 

"You okay mate?" Zayn asks. 

No I'm not. I shake my head feebly, bottom lip wobbling. 

"Oh, c'mere you big softie," he grins and pulls me into a hug, sitting with me on the floor. He lets me lie down on his lap, his fingers running through my hair, something I've always found comforting. 

Zayn and I have become quite close recently, especially when I stayed at theirs.  
"Harry, are you willing to let Louis in? He's not angry."  
"I can't cope with anyone that isn't calm at the moment. It'll just make us both worse."  
"Okay. What do you think would help you calm down?"Liam asks gently. 

"A cup of tea wouldn't be bad. But I think I just need to be away from Louis. The thought is quite frightening to me at the moment."  
"Alright then, you guys get into bed. No funny business," he warns even though has a small smile on his face.

"I'll bring you guys a cup of tea and you two can watch something on the telly." We both thank him as he leaves and Zayn kisses my cheek.   
"Everything's going to be okay, Harry."  
"Zayn, I want my collar off." His eyes widen.

"What?" I ask.   
"Sorry, forget that it doesn't really mean as much to you as it does to me. Is there a key?" I shake my head and twist it round my neck so he can see the catch. He easily undoes it and lays it gently on the bedside table.   
"I'm exhausted."  
"Go to sleep then, Haz," he smiles, cuddling down into the bed with me.   
"Thanks Z."  
"No problem, H."

When I wake up, Zayn is still there, an arm around me still and Liam is sat on the end of the bed, engaged in a conversation with Zayn. I scan the rest of the room, pleased that there's no Louis. Until of course that gets wrecked and Louis walks out of the bathroom, eyes catching mine. His mouth opens to say something but I cut him off. 

"Not now." And go downstairs, curling up on the couch with my iPod and headphones. Nothing like The Script to calm me down. 

Due to my music, I stay calm as Louis walks in and sits on a chair next to window. 

"I'm really sorry." I think that's what he says, my music loud. I ignore him and snuggle my face further into the blanket.   
"Harry, can we talk about this like adults?" I nod, taking my headphones out and taking a deep breath.

"I thought the deal was I try if you do. I'm trying- what're you doing?" His face crumples and I look away. I can't bare to see him cry. 

"I've been trying Haz. So fucking hard and I keep screwing up. And I hate myself for it. I want to make you happy, keep you in the school. And I know you've been trying so much. I'm so proud of you because of that. You hate me so much, God I can't stand it. I can't believe you're scared of me. I know what it feels like to be there and god it's not a good place. And it scares me that when I was scared, my Dom was threw out and I was reassigned. I don't want a new sub. I want you. Harry, I want you so fucking much."

Against my better judgement, once I've let all of that sink in, I reply.   
"I want you too. And that scares the living hell out of me. I don't want to be reassigned and I feel like it's wrong, to want someone that has done this to me but, fucking hell, I don't even understand why you want me," I admit. He frowns and walks over, ignoring my cowering. 

"Because, Harry Styles! Im infatuated with every fucking piece and mood and word you speak. And if I can't be at this school with you, then I don't want to be here at all. I'll follow you anywhere to make sure you're mine. I care for you. So fucking much. I don't know what Id do if I lost you Harry." My throat closes up and I'm pretty sure I'm dying. 

Dying seems okay in comparison to having to reply to that confession. I don't think I could say no to that and watch Louis' little heart break.

"Harry, say something- please!" It's Louis and I'm not dead.   
"Will you stay with me?" 

"Yes. Yes I'll stay," I grin, standing in with him and accepting his kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

Liam and Zayn whistle from the door way and clap their hands at out show.   
"Good to know we've done our job, Zayn," Liam grins. 

"Do you guys want to stick around or?" Louis asks, leaning his cheek on my head.   
"I don't want to see the sex that ensues thanks," Liam smiles. 

"Oh no- we haven't, I'm not-" I fumble, cheeks going red.   
"Liam was joking love. Just doesn't want to stay for too long right? Time for us two to be together," Louis explains and kisses my head. 

"Yeah, I didn't mean anything by it Haz. I'm not judging you on how many lads you've slept with," Liam adds. 

"None," I groan. "I've slept with no lads." I hide my face in Louis' chest and he laughs, hands running up and down my back.

"You interested in changing that?" Louis grins cheekily.   
"Not now," I scowl.   
"I wouldn't mind watching," Zayn adds, a smirk on his face. 

"What, am I not enough for you or something?" Liam laughs. It's lovely the way they get along. They say that they mainly use Dom/Sub stuff in the bedroom and whilst they do use it in everyday life, the rules are more lax. I wish me and Louis could do that. 

"You're plenty good, babe. Just think a Louis and Harry porno would be pretty hot," Zayn says but he's laughing, enjoying his joke with Liam. 

"Sure, sure. No can do, mister. Wouldn't want you stepping out of line would we?" Zayn nods and apologises, kissing Liam on the cheek before bowing his head.

"It's okay, babe, just need to remind you who's in charge, yeah?" Zayn nods, cheeks flushing again. 

"Alright you two, see you guys later," Louis laughs, sending them off with a wave. 

"You've taken your collar off," Louis frowns when they've gone.   
"It was while we were arguing."  
"Where is it?"  
"Spare room."  
"That's the isolation room. It shouldn't be used for any purpose other than that."

"Did you have a place to escape to when you were scared of your Dom?" I ask quietly.   
"Yes. My dads house."  
"And did it make you feel safer?"  
"Yeah."  
"Exactly. That's what I'm doing. But this time it's in the house so I can always just go and sit there if we've had a row, rather than me throwing a hissy fit and hiding in the woods for a week."  
"So that was a hissy fit?" He asks, confused.   
"No. I meant throwing a hissy fit and then hiding in the woods. I had a reason to be angry then."  
"I know, love. You always seem to have a reason to be angry."  
"You always have a reason but you tend to give me leeway quite often. It's nice really. I wish I could do that."  
"You've just taken me back again, after I threatened you with a paddle after hurting your hands again, that I broke with a paddle. You have a reason to be scared and angry, I don't blame you. I guess the paddle is a hard limit?"  
"Yes." 

And as an after thought, "It wasn't a threat, just a mention. Guess I'm just a but sensitive to it."  
"We can tell Ali tomorrow."

And when we're in bed, my collar still in the other room, Louis kisses me gently and smiles.   
"I adore you." I simply nod and kiss him back, still not knowing how to respond. And once we've settled and I'm drifting asleep, he adds. 

"So have you considered starting yoga yet?" I laugh and nod against him. 

"We start on Monday."


	27. Chapter 27

I wake up, eyes blurry and head sore. My arms search around me for an all too familiar warmth but there isn't any and I start to think that I dreamt that we made up. Until Louis walks back in.

"Hey, babe," he smiles, placing a cup of tea next to me.

"How did you sleep?"

"Well. Thanks." He grins, sitting next to me and pulling me against him.

"No problem, love. Just got off the phone with my dad and he said he's glad to hear that we worked over our problem properly instead of me hurting you or you running off. He also said to be around by half four. So we can go to our session with Ali, go shopping and then go my dads."

 

"Sounds good. What're we shopping for?"

"Get you some clothes that we can both like. I like your ones now but I think it'd be nice to go together. Want you to pick out your own panties. Fancy a pair of stockings, Hun?"

"Not really," I mumble, blowing on my tea to cool it down.

"We'll have a look, okay? I think you'd look really pretty. Are you ready to get your collar on again or do you want to wait?"

"Can we wait until we go to your dads? Put it on before then?" "Yeah sure. Can you tell me why?" "It isn't public, I'm comfortable with your dad and if I freak out he's not going to judge me. And I hope James won't either."

"He won't. They do this stuff too." "Isn't it weird knowing that about your parents?"

"No. Did you expect my dad to not be involved in BDSM and own this school?"

"Just asking. Who is the sub?" "James. Though it's not a lifestyle for them. Just in the bedroom."

 

I think I'd vomit if my mum shared her sex life with me. We get ready together and we leave to go and see Ali. When we arrive she grins, pulling us both into a hug.

"You two look like you're getting on together."

"Surprisingly we are," I mutter. "So, Haz, where is your collar?" Louis sighs and explains the whole ordeal from dinner yesterday.

We're praised yet again on how well we seem to have handled the situation without her help.

"Have you played since you dropped?" She asks, watching us with careful eyes.

"No, not yet anyway. Gonna flog Harry sometime in the week. And Harry, do you want to tell Ali what you've started wearing?"

"No not really," I mumble, cheeks feeling hot. We're lounging on the couch, my head in Louis' lap and his hands in my hair.

"Go on love, I'm sure Ali will think it's great," he encourages. "Panties," I groan. "I've been wearing panties." And to say it out loud is apparently a step too far for me because when Ali looks at me, my voice cracks as I speak and I start crying into Louis' leg.

"Love, nothing to cry about is it?" He soothes, lifting me up so I'm sat sideways on his knee, my head tucked into his neck.

"You're okay, m'gonna take good care of you," he promises, kissing my head. "Why're you crying?" "I'm a boy who enjoys wearing panties. That's so wrong, they're for girls."

"No one has ever said they were specifically for girls. Plus, your arse looks delicious in them," Louis smiles, pulling my head up for a kiss.

"Now are we okay? Or do you need a longer cuddle?" I blush when Ali lets out a little 'aww' and shake my head.

"I'll be okay, I promise. But can I still sit like this?"

"Of course lovely," he smiles. "Thank you."

"Who?"

"Daddy. Thank you daddy."

"So... is daddy the name you're going for?" Ali asks after a few minutes of silence.

"Harry's allowed to call me sir, daddy or by my actual name but we both quite like daddy. Harry likes having the opportunity to figure out which one he likes the most."

"Which one is that?" "At the moment daddy. It may change." Louis ducks his head down and his breath tickles my ear.

"I hope not, sounds fucking gorgeous when you say it." I squirm away from his mouth and he chuckles, smacking a kiss to my cheek.

"Any other developments I should know about?"

"Haz, I was going to talk to you about this yesterday but it was kind of interrupted. Would you have sex with me?"

"I- I don't know."

Then the cogs start turning. What if I'm not good enough and he wants a reassignment? What if I'm into what he isn't? Doesn't it hurt? What if he hates me because I don't want to?

"Can it be a maybe?" Louis ask, voice nervous. As nervous as I feel; my palms are sweating and my brain is working in overdrive.

"I think I'm going to be sick Lou," I whimper.

"Shit!" He runs me to the bathroom, mainly dragging me as I feel so weak I can't walk. We make it to the toilet in time and he rubs my back as I throw up. "You're okay darling, I'm here," he soothes.

 

Once I'm finished, he hands me a bottle of water and makes me drink the whole thing.

"Good boy. We can talk about that later when you're calmed down, okay? " I nod my head, sniffling as I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Now, we can go home and do your teeth and go shopping, if you feel up to it."

"I'll be fine. I just panicked, knew it was going to happen sometime soon, that's the longest I've ever gone without doing it for as long as I can remember." Louis frowns but helps me stand up. He whispers something to Ali and we leave, the short journey home feeling like the longest walk I've ever been on.

"How're you feeling?"

"Terrible," I pout, arms wrapped around Louis.

He kisses my head and helps me upstairs, lying me on our bed. He brings my toothbrush in and I do my teeth, handing it back to him so he could put it back.

"You want a cuddle?" Louis asks when he sits on the bed with me. "Is that okay?"

"Of course, darlin', now c'mere," he grins, pulling me to him. "Do you want to talk about why you freaked?"

 

So after a long conversation, filled with tears and kisses and hugs, we come to a decision. No sex. I feel bad for Louis but he assures me that he won't enjoy it if I don't and when I'm the one to initiate it, it'll be so much better.

"Thank you," I whisper against his chest, kissing his pec through his shirt.

"Thank you who?"

"Daddy. Thank you, daddy," I smile, nuzzling my head into his warm hug.

"No problem, babe." He grins, kissing my head and then my lips. "If you're as snugly as this the rest of the week, I don't know if I'll be able to get out of bed."

"Sounds like a plan." He laughs, eyes crinkling and fuck me - he's beautiful. I pull away from the hug first, sitting up against the headboard.

"What time is it?"

"Ten to eleven. Want to go out and get lunch, shop around and go to my dads?"

"Yes please, daddy." He looks shocked. I think it's the first time I've just said it, no prompting or reminders.

"Okay, love, get up then."

But he has a knowing smile on his lips and if that's all it takes to make him smile like that, I'm definitely saying it more.


	28. Chapter 28

Shopping goes smoothly, I stay quiet mostly and we make decisions calmly. He buys me more panties and a few thongs, two pairs of stockings and a pair of high heels. I protested against most of it, saying that he's wasting his money but he simply kissed me quiet and smiled.  
"Don't argue with me or I'll have to spank you," he warns but his voice is warm and gentle, not threatening or harsh.   
"Yes daddy."

He tells me how much he likes my hair being longer and he wants me to grown my hair out, better to pull on and buys me bobbles and scarves, along with lots of new clothes he made me try on, claiming that 'the more he could see of me the better' or something. So I accept them as gifts and tell myself that I will wear them. He gets me to sit in the car while he goes and buys something I don't know about and comes out with a cheeky grin on his face. I'm curious, but don't ask because concerning Louis, curiosity is never good. 

We go home and put everything away, ending up on the couch.   
"We have an hour before we go to my dads. Do you want to watch the episode of Forever we missed the other day?" I nod my head quietly and curl up to his side.

"Daddy?" I ask, voice small once the episode is finished.   
"Yes love?"  
"Can I have my collar on please?" His face lights up and he nods his head quickly, running to go and get it. 

When he leaves the room, I kneel in the first position I was ever taught and bow my head waiting for him to come back. 

The first sign that he's back is his gasp when he sees me.   
"Oh, Haz." His fingers are gentle as he locks the collar around my neck, the white leather band comfortable and the heart lock, a weighty reminder that I'm wearing it, on my chest.   
"Thank you daddy." He stands me up and pulls me in for a kiss.   
"You never have to thank me for that, love, it's my honour for you to wear a collar to show that you're mine." 

I blush, looking at the floor. He ties the key for my collar around his wrist on a bracelet that looks similar to my necklace. "Absolutely beautiful," he grins.

We walk to his dad's, Louis going over any rules.   
"You may sit with us at the table but once we sit in the living room you will kneel. I expect you to call me daddy in here and you must be on your best behaviour; no back talking, do as I say straight away no matter what it is. And remember," he says, stopping at the house and turning to me. "You can always word out if you need to." He smiles softly and pulls me in for a kiss. 

Mark lets us in and Louis takes my coat and shoes, before leading me to sit in the living room. He takes a seat on the couch so I kneel next to him, resting my head on his knee.   
"Food will be ready in half an hour," Mark informs. "James will speak to you guys in a bit, he's just upset right now." Louis frowns and his hands tighten in my hair.   
"What's wrong?"  
"I have punished him because he was naughty but he doesn't think the punishment was enough and I'm not going to do something I don't think he deserves."  
"What's he done?"  
"I don't think Harry would appreciate the conversation being held in front of him, if I'm honest. I think talking to Harry might help, give him a fresher view on things and maybe calm him down a bit."  
"I'll talk to him if you want. Theres a few things I've been wanting to ask him about anyway." 

Mark smiles and thanks me before leaving the room to go and console Paul. I gasp at Louis' arms wrapping around me and hoisting me into his lap. He holds me away from his face, eyes examining my expression.   
"You can talk to me y'know, about anything. What do you want to ask him?"  
"I know. It's nothing, doesn't matter," I mutter trying to shift out of his hold but his arms tighten and he pulls me closer.   
"Oh no you don't," he sighs. "C'mon, babe, tell me. I won't think differently, I may be able to answer and help you too," he pleads.   
"Just about sex and stuff, how he deals with punishments, what his least favourite punishment is, ask for advice. I just think a subs perspective would be best, considering I'm a sub."  
"I was a sub once, too. What's on your mind?"  
"I just want to know what it's like to bottom and stuff," I shrug, eyes looking at my lap.   
"I've bottomed before."  
"How many times?" He sighs, pressing my head to his and our breaths mix.   
"Willingly? Once. Otherwise? Too many times."   
I've never seen him like this, open and vulnerable. And I don't like it, makes something in my chest hurt badly. It feels like I can't breath as my ribs contract and the feeling rises in my throat. Is this love? Feeling so sorry for someone else's pain that you feel hurt too?

 

"Oh, Lou," I whisper, brushing my lips against his and allowing him to guide the kiss. "I didn't know, I'm sorry."  
"S'not your fault. It's in the past now," he says into my mouth, teeth biting at my lip. A hand is in my hair, one around my throat, just above the collar.

"I'd never do that to you, never hurt you like that," he promises and repeats himself.   
"I know you wouldn't, daddy. You won't hurt me unless I deserve it." 

And I've heard Louis say a countless amount of times but saying it myself makes something click. Louis does this because he cares, wants me to be the best I can be and looks after me, even if that includes discipline. Now I've realised this, my whole outlook has changed. I appreciate every thing he has done and does for me and I've never wanted to please him more.   
"Thank you daddy." 

He pulls away, laughing when I whine and bumps his nose into mine so I open my eyes.   
"What for, lovely?"  
"For doing this for me, looking after me. Being there for me no matter what I put you through." The grin on his face is so wide that it makes me smile back.  
"You amaze me Harry, constantly. I'm so lucky."

I blush and nuzzle my head into his neck, nipping at the soft skin there. He leans back and takes me with him, arranging us so we're sat next to each other not on each other. He sucks marks into my neck this time, making me whine and whimper when he sucks behind my ear.  
"You like that Hun?"  
"Yes, daddy." He grins and pulls away, kissing my mouth to hush my complaints. 

"Want to try something new tonight," he says a few minutes later, breaking our comfortable silence. 

And I'm scared to ask what it is but I do and his hand squeezes my thigh, a reassurance that he's here and I'm safe.   
"Want to hit you." I furrow my eyebrows, shaking my head.   
"It's tempting, but I'll have to pass," I smile and he laughs, shuffling backwards so he can see me.   
"I was going to say I'd hit your dick and balls, but okay."  
"Still not finding this very appealing."  
"Why baby?"

"Well, first of all, it's going to hurt, a lot. And secondly, what if I kick you or something? Then wouldn't you damage my dick or balls?" Louis smiles and pulls me back into his chest.   
"Yes it will hurt. That's the idea. I'll restrain you and even if you do kick me, I wouldn't punish you, it would be bound to happen at some point if I'm hitting you like that. And I wouldn't do anything that'd harm your cock or balls permanently, okay?"  
"I'm not sure," I frown, pouting into his chest. 

"You came when I hit your dick with a flogger, you obviously like some pain, Haz and you can't let a bit of uncertainty get in the way of trying anything new. Look how far we've came and you despised the idea of being a sub when you arrived here."  
"I don't know," I mumble, refusing to meet his gaze.   
"I don't want you worrying about it okay? If anything hurts too bad we'll stop and I'll look after you afterwards. You can colour and I'm not hitting you with any implements, only my hands. You will get to come if you're good." 

I sigh and nod against his chest and we kiss lazily until Mark and James walk in the room.

Louis stands us both up and Mark smiles at me encouragingly.   
"I'm Harry, Louis' sub," I speak first, stretching my hand out to James. He's taller than both me and Louis but shorter than Mark. 

His eyes are still red so I treat him carefully, knowing I can be set off by the slightest slip of the tongue.   
"Watch his hand," Mark says, drawing attention to my broken fingers.   
"Nice to meet you Harry," he says and his voice is still quite wobbly. "I'm James. Mark's fiancé."  
"It's good to finally put the name to a face," I smile. This makes him ease up a bit. 

He nods and smiles back, sitting on the couch looking expectantly at me.   
"Lou?"  
"What's my name?" My eyes flicker to James and back to Louis before I sigh.   
"Daddy, can I sit on the couch with James please?"   
"Of course love. Good boy for asking, now be nice."  
"I always am," I mutter.   
"Don't back chat, mister."  
"Sorry daddy." He smacks me on the bum and sends me to sit with James. 

"I heard you wanted to talk to me about a few things?" James asks as we make ourselves comfy on the couch.  
"Yeah, just I'm not very good at talking to people so I'm sorry if take my time. I might have to ask Louis or Mark to help me a few times too."  
"That's okay, Louis' told me all about everything since the beginning of the year. Not too many intimate details but enough for me to understand that you have anxiety," he says understandingly. 

"Thanks, not that many people are patient with me when I have to tell them something so I used to get ignored a lot before I came here."  
"That's great, I know you were very against the idea of this school when you started."  
"Yeah, bit of a shock to the system. Louis' been good to me and has helped ease me in slowly. Mark's been really helpful too, always there if I needed him."  
"I hope you feel the same about me soon," James smiles.  
"I'm sure I will."  
"So any questions?"  
"Erm- my main concerns are about sex."  
"You're a virgin?"  
"Yeah."

My cheeks flush hot and when I look at Louis he's staring right back at me. He nods his head and smiles softly, encouraging me to go on.

"I'm just scared to do it."  
"You have never been fingered?"  
"Once."  
"Anything else been in or on your arse?"  
"Louis' rimmed me before but other than that, no. We've bought toys just haven't used them yet." He nods and looks over at Mark smiling adoringly. 

"I guess you should just get used to the feeling and obviously, do it whenever you're ready. Just take it easy, go at your own pace. Even if you can't come from that, get Lou to touch you so you're still getting a lot of pleasure. Take it slow, keep it nice. You don't want your first time to be full of paddling and choking."

I cringe at the memory of the paddle. It's definitely not something I'm used to still, even when it's just spoken about. I must react quite a bit because Louis is next to me quickly. 

"You're alright darling," he soothes and pulls me to sit on the floor. "James was just generalising, okay? No paddles will be involved in anything we do, ever. We can go home later and throw all of the paddles we own away."

I nod and I'm comforted but the tears come anyway.   
"I-I'm really sorry, didn't mean to," James apologises and Louis smiles.   
"He's okay, just a touchy subject isn't it love?" I nod and muffle my cries into his shirt. "You're okay, I'm here, I'm with you, darlin'," he reassures and slowly but surely, my breathing calms and my eyes are dry. 

"'M sorry, didn't mean to get so upset,"I say, mumbling into Louis' shoulder.   
"No need to be sorry, Harry, everyone gets upset sometimes," Mark smiles.   
"I'm upset all the time," I huff and look up at Louis.  
"You're upset all the time because you're in touch with your emotions." I look at Louis like he's dumb. Seriously?

"Fine, you may be upset a lot but I think you have reasons to be, so don't apologise for how you feel, ever." He kisses me softly and brushes my hair out of my eyes.

And when Mark and James are out of the room Louis grins. 

"I can't wait for tonight." 

And, honestly- with the way things have been going recently? Neither can I.


	29. Chapter 29

Dinner is delicious and we sit and have a normal conversation about normal things not including sex, thankfully. Afterwards, James and I sit and talk more. I feel a lot better than before and soon enough, it's time to leave. We all hug each other goodbye and Louis and I start making our way home. 

"You were so good for me, babe. Yeah?"  
"Yeah, daddy's good boy," I beam.   
"Daddy's good boy," Louis grins and it sounds so heavenly coming out of his mouth that I wish that he'd call me it more often. We go inside and immediately, Louis pins me against the doorframe and grinds his hips up into mine, groaning and biting at my collar bones. 

"Upstairs, now." And I don't even hesitate to obey but since I can't undress myself, I stand uselessly until Louis comes into the room. 

"Good boy." 

He helps me get undressed but stays in his clothing and it's weirdly nice to be the only one naked, all the attention on me. But I have a feeling that's because the attention is coming from Louis. I've always enjoyed being naked either way. 

"What are our colours?" He asks once I've been tied to the bed, spread out on my back, with a soft rope.   
"Green, yellow, red and purple."  
"What do they mean?" 

I whine, he's just taking his time now. I've been hard since he had his hand down my jeans for a good five minutes before he tied me up and fuck- that was the best hand job I've ever gotten. Even if it didn't result in an orgasm. 

"Greens good, yellows pause, red is stop, purple is break and untie me." He grins, smacking a kiss to my lips. 

"Good boy. Daddy's good boy." I smile to myself. Who would've known I would enjoy that pet name? "Remember, you never get punished for using a safe word." 

In the back of my mind I remember that yes, I have been, but I take a few deep breaths and nod my head. That's in the past now.   
"Yes, daddy."   
"Going to go easy on you at first okay? Work ourselves up to the harder hits." I nod my head, staring at his hands. He laughs and then brings a hand down to cup my balls, massaging them in his fingers. 

 

"Fuck, daddy," I whimper, back arching into his touch.   
"So responsive, baby," he praises and that makes everything right now even better.

He pulls his hands away, making me whine but he shushes me and smacks my dick and oh my fucking God! Why does that feel so nice? His hands repeat the action but hit me on the balls and I groan, trying to curl up to protect myself and I can't, the muscles in my arms and legs straining against my restraints. 

"Lou," I cry out, on the verge of tears already.   
"That's it baby, relax for me." 

Why does he think I'm in a position to relax at a all at the moment? He rubs his hands on my thighs, whispering praise until I uncurl. He hits me again, hard enough that my dick hits my hip and bounces back.  
"Daddy," I sob, loud noises ripped from my chest as he continues. 

After many hits later and orders not to come, when my head is fuzzy and the lines blur, Louis trails his fingers over the heated flesh of my dick, fingers dipping into my slit. He holds his fingers out to my face, showing the precome he's caught on his fingertips.   
"Open your mouth, babe." I stare at him, squirming in the restraints as he prods his fingers into my mouth. 

"C'mon, making me really happy." Hesitantly, I part my lips and let his fingers rest on my tongue. "Suck," he orders. And I cry while I do so, not daring to look at him. 

"My good boy," he praises, fingers petting over my hair and chest. 

"Do you want to come?"  
"Please, Louid, please let me come. I'll be good, I promise," I beg, eyes watering.   
"I know you will. Always so good for me." 

He hits me a few more times before he checks if I could come right now, my only response a nod. He pulls back and flicks just under the head of my cock, the foreskin pulled back and sensitive nerve endings throbbing. 

I thrash against the rope and yell as my come spurts onto my stomach and chest. 

He's untying me within a second, whispering gentle words and kissing he marks I've rubbed into my skin with struggling. 

"Darling, want to give me a treat?" He hums.

"Want to blow daddy?" I hum, nodding my head. He smiles and let's me sit on the floor as he sits on the edge of the bed. He takes his shirt off and pulls his pants down, kicking them off of his ankles before he pulls me to shuffle forward.

I close my eyes as he pushes my head down, making me take his dick further into my throat than I would have if I was in control. I choke a few times but carry on, wanting to please Louis, daddy. 

"Breathe through it love," he says, words shaky and uneven. "So good for me," he praises. 

I try my best to smile around his dick but I can't so I just try harder to please him, show my appreciation. My tongue presses into the underside of his dick, the salty taste of his precome on my tongue. 

"Want to come on your face, Haz. Can I come on your face?" He sounds rushed, strained like he can't hold back much longer. I pull back and work him over with my hand, pressing kisses to the head. His hands tangle in my hair and he pulls my face away from his dick, a guttural groan filling the room as he comes over my face, collapsing back into the sheets when he finishes. I rest my head, a clean patch, on his leg and cough, my throat sore.

"Climb up here, baby." I do as I'm told on shaky legs, my mind playing a repeat of 'Louis, Louis, Lou.'

I sit next to him, waiting for my next instruction.  
"We need to get all of that come cleaned off of you or you'll get a rash." He gets up and comes back with a wet cloth, wiping my stomach and face off, pressing kisses to my overheated skin. He wipes over my dick, just to soothe it and throws the dirty cloth on the floor. 

"I am so proud of you, did so well for me." 

I smile and cuddle into his chest as he pulls the covers over us.

"Will you come back to me? Want to speak to you, Haz, where've you gone?" I sigh and squirm, trying to get comfortable. "C'mon, Harry. How do you feel?"

"Warm. Fuzzy. Good." He smiles and kisses my head, hands petting at my hips and neck. 

"That's good, babe. But don't you want to come back for daddy?"

So I listen to his gentle encouragements until I feel like myself again and I yawn, tightening my arms around his waist. 

"Thank you Lou."  
"You back with me?"  
"Yeah. That was fantastic. I was good?"  
"You we're excellent," he grins, kissing me gently.

"You took everything so well, I'm so impressed love." I nod and kiss him again, yawning into his mouth.   
"Sorry," I giggle, laying my head on his shoulder.  
"It's okay, my baby must be tired, right? Had a busy day and a busy play," he rhymes. Louis kisses me on the forehead and hums. "I will carry you into our room when you fall asleep, okay?"  
"Yeah. Night daddy."  
"Night Hazza." 

I've never fallen asleep happier.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!   
> Louis makes Harry wet himself. Harry isn't aware that was actually happening though he is concious. 
> 
> All is resolved in the next chapter.

When I wake up in the morning, I find that Louis has stuck to his word and carried me to the other bed and he is lying on top of me, drooling on my chest. I groan, needing a wee. 

"Louis." He flinches but doesn't wake up. "Lou!"  
"Hm?"  
"I need a wee, can you get off of me please?"  
"Sorry darling." I sigh in relief and annoyance when he moves. Like, I really need the loo, but it was really nice having him lying with me like that. 

 

I come back into the room and see Louis has set out my outfit for the day: a brightly coloured jumper; an extremely tight pair of jeans and a red pair of panties, though he has given me boxers just in case. 

I shower, surprisingly missing him being there with me and dry off once I'm out. 

I try to get dressed, managing to put the panties on, wanting to get used to the feeling. It looks odd, my dick in a place it shouldn't be. I can't quite pull the jumper on properly but I can get my jeans to around my knees before I have trouble. So I take everything off and leave on the panties. 

"Louis?" Louis' starting to become more lenient with what I call him and I feel more human calling him by name.  
"Yes, baby?" He shouts back.  
"I can't get dressed."  
"Is there something you want to ask me then?" He asks once he's come upstairs. I blush and look at the floor. "Good boys have good manners. You're my good boy aren't you?"  
"Yeah, your good boy. Can you help me get dressed?"  
"Of course," he smiles. "Well done for trying, but I want to see if you're alright with tucking?"  
"What's tucking?" I have a vague idea but I want to know fully what I'm getting into before I do it.  
"Where you tuck your dick in between your legs. Just makes it more comfortable."  
"Okay. But I don't really know how." He just smiles and pulls the panties down, pulling me to waddle over to the bed. I lie on my stomach and he allows me to get comfortable before pulling my dick back, between my legs. He pushes my balls up quickly and they get separated by my dick. 

"Lou, it's not nice."  
"I know baby. We can see how much you like it and if you don't we don't have to do it." He pulls my panties back up, high so my dick doesn't move out of place. I walk slowly into the bathroom, waddling slightly, trying to get used to it. 

"I don't like it daddy," I whisper.  
"That's okay then. Babe, just pull your panties down and adjust yourself." I nod and sigh when I'm fixed, feeling better for it.  
"Thank you."  
"No need to thank me," he smiles, pulling me in for a kiss. 

He dresses me and tells me that if I need the toilet I have to tell him and he'll help me. We sit and have breakfast, apple juice and toast. 

"C'mon, we're going to see a film."  
"What?"  
"Yeah, the new hunger games film is out and I haven't seen it yet. Have you seen the other two?"  
"Yeah. I've read the books too."  
"I didn't think you were someone who enjoyed reading?" He asks as he helps me get my coat on. 

"Guess I'm full of surprises?"  
"That you are, my love." We go and knock at Liam's, turns out he's coming with us and Zayn is too. 

We get in the car and Louis drives to the cinema, paying for our tickets and popcorn. He buys us a large coke and hands it to me. 

"You okay love?" He asks when I stare at the drink like he's just placed shit in my hand.  
"I don't want to interrupt you watching the film for me needing a wee," I mumble as we walk.  
"Don't interrupt me then. Just hold it okay? You can always safe word."

He makes me drink the full thing, literally holds the straw to my mouth for ten minutes until I drink it and he keeps whispering soothing things. Distracting me from the fact my bladders now full. 

I try to tell him through the film that I really need to go but he simply pats my stomach making me cry out. He smacks my leg for being loud.  
"Shut up, Harry. Wait until we get home okay? The toilets will be really busy once the films over and it's just getting to the good bit." I nod my head grumpily and sink into my chair, trying to relieve the pressure the jeans put on my bladder. 

On the way home, Louis gets Liam to drive so he can sit with me. He runs his hand over my back as I tremble, my legs crossed so I don't wee myself. 

"You're okay Harry, just two minutes until we're home."  
"I don't think I can last," I whimper, eyes stinging with tears.  
"Yes you can, don't want to wreck my car do you?"  
"No." He smiles.  
"Then you'll hold it."  
Liam and Zayn come into ours and I try and pull Louis up stairs but he shakes his head. 

"Wouldn't be nice to leave our guests would it?" I sigh and shake my head, following them into the living room. If Louis thinks I can do it, I should at least try. 

We sit and chat, or at least they do.  
"Lou," I whine, nuzzling into his shoulder.  
"Harry I'm busy, go give Li a cuddle instead." I whimper and Liam smiles gently.  
"You want to come sit with me Haz?"  
"Go on. Hold it Harry," Louis whispers. "What would Liam think if you wet yourself?" I don't think I could bare it. 

He'd hate me. I whimper, walking on shaky legs to Liam. He grins and pulls me to sit in his lap.  
"Louis?" I ask.  
"Just a minute, Harry, I'm emailing someone."  
Liam frowns when I whimper and puts a hand that's supposed to be soothing on my stomach but it just makes me cry out, my bladder unable to take any more and I sob as the wet patch in my pants grows. Liam gasps and removes his hands from me, shifting uncomfortably. 

"I'm so sorry," I sob, unable to stop the stream of piss. "I'm so sorry."  
"Hey, Haz, it's okay, you didn't mean it right?" He asks but he sounds grossed out which he has every right to be. 

"I'm sorry," I sob, pushing my way out of Liam's lap. I land on the floor with a bump and then Louis is next to me in an instant.  
"Your okay love," he soothes, but I wriggle away from him. 

"No," I shout, recoiling away from his touch. "Don't touch me." He sighs and picks me up anyway, despite my struggles and carries me up the stairs. He lays me on the bed and cradles my face.  
"You're going to hyperventilate," he warns. I couldn't care less mine just pissed myself. 

"Stop. Stop. Red." He immediately removes himself from my side, allowing me to curl up into myself.  
"It's okay Harry."  
"No. It's not. Li hates me and you think I'm gross and Zayn just watched the whole thing. You made me do this," I cry. As I continue to be wracked with waves of tears, he brings me to the bathroom and strips my clothes off, sitting me in the bath. He turns on the shower stream, making sure it's warm to wash away the smell of wee. Louis never stops muttering soothing words and apologies. 

"Don't cry, lovey." I only cry harder. "Okay, sorry. Cry as much as you want," he corrects. "I'm sorry Haz."  
"Don't speak to me." He sighs and nods.  
"I'll be downstairs okay? I'll clean the couch and Liam. We'll be waiting."

I sit in the shower until I'm wrinkly and cold, despite the water being warm. To spite Louis, I pull on a pair of boxers and go into the spare room, locking myself in and lying on the bed. 

It's times like these when I doubt how much I comprehend when I'm in my headspace, whether I actually enjoy things or I do them for Louis' benefit. I doubt how I can be so happy. 

 

It takes a while for the first knock to come.  
"H?" It's Zayn. Fuck me. He probably hates me too. "I know you're in there, we've checked everywhere else."

"Leave me alone."  
"Nope. I'm going to sit here until you have to come out or until you let me in. Louis' gone to his dad's to see if they can help. Liam's in the house but I've busied him. He's making me us cup of tea."  
"Zayn, go away. I don't want anybody near me."  
"Even me?"  
"Even you."  
"Even Liam?"  
"Especially Liam. I've just pissed all over him."  
"Haz, Liam's used to it, doesn't gross him out or nothing."

"What do you mean, he's used- oh, I see. Sorry."  
"It's fine, Harry."  
"No but that's you and Liam doing it, not one of his mates just pissing on him. Different circumstances cause different reactions."  
"Just let me in, for fuck sake. I have food so we can camp in there as long as you want. No repercussions."

"Won't Li punish you for being unhelpful?"  
"He told me to make you feel better, do whatever it takes. It's not fair if he punishes me."

I wait a few minutes as I hear him talk about what happened when Louis went back downstairs until I drift off, waking to hear Liam speaking. 

 

"Harry, it's okay love," he reassures.  
"No, it's not. I just peed on you. I'm so sorry Li. How long have I been asleep?"  
"About an hour and a half. You and Zayn can stay in there all day until you want to come out. You can always shout me for food."

 

"But you d-don't hate me?"  
"I don't hate you. None of us hate you Harry. We all love you very much."  
"Keep telling me that and I might let the both of you in sooner." Liam laughs with Zayn.  
"I prefer to tell people I love them face to face, if I'm honest," Zayn says. I smile to myself and walk over to the door. 

"Say it once before you come in."  
"I love you, you big softie. Now let me in," Zayn laughs. I laugh with him and open the door, suddenly regretting it. Louis' there.  
"You bunch of little shits!" I try to push the door closed but with all three of them, I'm easily overpowered. They close the door behind them and Liam stands in front of the bathroom so I can't lock myself in there, Zayn in front of the bedroom door. Louis steps towards me. 

 

"Fuck off," I snap, moving away from him.  
"C'mon, Harry, don't speak to me like that."  
"Oh don't patronise me! You just made me piss on your best friend, don't act like you haven't done anything wrong. I can't believe you!"  
"Don't speak to me like that, Haz. I care so muhc for you."

"Stop saying it, I don't want to hear it from you. You take pleasure out of me feeling bad, of me pissing on Liam." He looks really pissed, furious.  
"Harry, I never made you wee on Liam. It's your fault you couldn't control your bladder. Just like a little child," he spits. 

I gasp, stepping further away from him. So he's going to humiliate me and make fun of me for it? Fuck him. I can't help crying so I stumble to the bed and hide my face into the blanket.

"Way to go, Lou. Get out," Liam says, sounding horribly disappointed. I sob until the blanket under my eyes is soaking and I feel like I can't breathe.  
Someone's hand is on my back, making me flinch.  
"Just me, Harry. Louis' not in the room." Liam.  
"Li," I cry, resting my head on his chest when he holds me in his arms.

"He hates me. He hates me so much. It's his fault I did it. I promise I didn't mean to."  
"I know, Harry. It's okay, no problems at all. The only reason it's a problem is because you're sad about it. None of us feel gross about this or hate you. We all love you very much. Louis has a short temper sometimes, he doesn't mean what he's said."

"You lied, told me Louis wasn't there. I really don't want to be near anyone right now. Can I go and see Ali?"  
"We're sorry. Yeah. Of course you can, just need to get you dressed."  
"Only joggers and a hoody please. I can't change out of anything tight myself."  
"Is that why-"  
"Yeah. Louis put me in skinny jeans and told me that I had to wait for him but he kept putting it off and then..."  
"Yeah. That's fine." 

He dresses me and puts on my shoes and coat, walking me to the front door. 

"Zayn will walk with you, I'm going to speak to Louis at his dad's."  
"Thanks Li. I am really sorry."  
"Nothing happened. I don't remember anything bad happening," he winks.  
"Oh yeah, sorry." 

Zayn and I walk to Ali's and he hugs me goodbye and tells me he'll be at his house if I want to go there instead of my own.  
"I owe you one, Z."  
"What are friends for?" I smile and walk into Ali's office. 

"How you doing Harry?" She asks, seemingly testing the waters. I sigh and flop onto the couch.  
"I fucked everything up."  
"I don't know what's happened. Louis told me to expect you but not what went down. Would you care to explain?"

"Basically, Louis put me in tight pants, because I can't undo them myself. He made me drink a lot and wouldn't help me go to the toilet. He made me sit on Liam's knee and I couldn't hold it so-" I cut myself of with a quite sniffle, holding my hands over my eyes quickly. 

"You wet yourself on Liam's lap, then what happened?" She supplies.  
"Louis had told me not to, told me to think about how Liam would think of me so I freaked out,thought he hated me. Louis let me shower and then I locked myself in the spare room. Zayn spoke to me but I didn't let him in. I went to sleep, was told by Liam that Louis wasn't there so I let them in and he was. They prevented me from leaving the room and me and Louis had an argument. Louis took the mick out of me for it. Liam made him leave and then I asked to come and see you." 

"Good. Thank you for telling me. It means a lot that you're willing to just open up now."  
"Don't mention it or I won't anymore.". She laughs and shakes her head. 

"Fair enough."  
"I'd like to speak to James Louis' dad's fiancé. I met him yesterday and we got along well. I think it'd be good to speak to him."  
"You want to go to his house?"  
"Louis' there, I don't want to see him. I'd like to speak to Mark too but that's why Louis is there."  
"I can arrange for you to be placed in separate housing for a while."  
"Might just ask Li if it's okay for me to stay tonight, get Louis to come over and see if we can sort it out. If not, ask if I can stay longer. They make me feel safer when I've had a fight with Lou."

"You should feel safe anyway."  
" I do. But growing up, I never had anyone supporting me when I needed it so they're like a comfort blanket."  
"I know. Right, I'll ring them now."

She picks up her desk phone and presses numbers until it starts ringing. 

"Hi, Mark. I'm sat with Harry now and I was just wondering if he could talk to you and Jamee. He said he'd like to, yes. He's been very calm about this one and I'm sure he just needs reassurance... Yes, thank you. He'll be down in a minute." She looks at me and smiles.

"You going to go now, sweetie?"  
"I should shouldn't I?"

We say our goodbyes and I walk to Mark's house, knocking on the door with the heel of my palm.  
"Harry," James smiles as he opens the door. "Want a cuppa?"  
"Why not?" He grins and I follow him into the kitchen.  
"So, I know Louis' side of the story and I'm interested to hear if yours is the same." 

So I tell him over a cup of tea and some biscuits.  
"I understand why you're upset, Harry. Where you given any warning to what was going to happen throughout the day?"

"No. That's why I didn't really know what to do when he kept telling me to wait and I can't undress myself. I guess being helpless kind of made me slip further into my headspace so I went along with Louis' orders and definitely was not pleased with the end result."

We talk for a while longer before Mark joins us and we repeat the conversation I've had with Paul and Ali now.  
"Your stories match almost perfectly, obviously swaying a little because they will be influenced by your emotions but other than that, seems like you can agree on what went wrong and what was okay."

"Everything was wrong. He was so cold, felt like he was a different person. I didn't want to make him moodier so I followed his rules."  
"Oh, Haz," James sighs. "You're going to talk to him tonight, right?"  
"Yeah. Hopefully."  
"Okay, good. Liam has already offered for you to stay at his with him and Zayn so you can go there now, Louis is talking to Ali." I nod and say goodbye, waking myself out. 

"And Harry?" I spin on my heel, facing Mark. 

"Though he can be a knob sometimes, remember he's human too and he cares for you. A lot."


	31. Chapter 31

Zayn lets me in when I knock at Liam's, offering me food and drink and we go and sit with Liam. 

"Is Louis mad at me?" I ask.  
"He's angrier at himself for what he did than he is for you swearing at him. Don't count on being punished."  
"I wouldn't either way."

Liam smiles and passes me the remote.   
"Louis said he'd like to come over later, speak to you and apologise. He's just waiting for your okay."  
"He can come whenever he wants, I want to speak to him too."

My heart stops when I hear the knock at the door and I look at Liam and Zayn expectantly but they shake their heads. 

"It's for you."  
"You'll be fine, mate. Go and sit in the backroom. That way we can hear you if you need us." 

I nod and take a few deep breaths before I go and open the door. We stand in silence, mouths open like we can no longer speak. 

"Haz," Louis breaks the silence. "I'm so sorry."

I remain quiet and open the door wider so he can step in and lead him to the dining room. We each take a seat across from each other and he's sighs, running his hand through his hair.   
"I'm sorry Harry. I really am."  
"You messed with me. Made me think Liam would hate me and then made me piss on him. You had the audacity to skit at me when I was upset about it. You were horrible to me today. Like a different person."  
"I can't say anything besides sorry, my plans went wrong and I judged your body incorrectly. I thought you could've held it longer and when I was proven wrong reacted like a knob." I just stare at him. 

"I want to be angry. But I'm not really. Just fucking sad. I feel like I'm cautious around you in case something like this happens. With all the things that have happened, you still comforted me but this time? No. You hate me. I don't blame you." He shakes his head profusely, reaching out to me and pulling me to stand up with him. 

"I could never hate you, Harry. I admire you to bits." He backs me up against the wall and sucks kisses onto my neck. "Will you stay with me?" And he has tears in his eyes.

"Louis," I whimper and he takes it as the yes it is, jumping forward to kiss me quickly.   
"I am infatuated with you Harry, it's ridiculous." I moan into his mouth. "So fucking beautiful," he whispers.  
"I have one thing to say."  
"What's that?"

"I need you to be more consistent. Sometimes you're very strict and sometimes you're soft and I don't have any rules and I think that affects the way I behave and react."  
"What would you prefer?" I gulp, closing my eyes and resting my forehead on his shoulder. 

"Strict."  
"Good. Do you want to start now?"  
"Please. But understand if I hesitate to do things or if I forget what I should do. And remember, I only feel good about this when I get praise."  
"Okay, we can add them to our rules. We can write them on our fridge. Punishments will still be involved though, Harry."

"Just don't bring out a paddle."  
"I would never. And I think you're supposed to ask me stuff, not tell me what to do." And though he is being strict, his voice is soft and gentle.   
"Yes."  
"My good boy."  
"Your good boy. Oh, and I get a bit confused when I talk to other people about you. Am I supposed to call you Louis or?"  
"Daddy, if you don't mind. I just want to see how it is."  
"I can try it out." He smiles and kisses my forehead.   
"Always so willing to try new things."  
"For you."  
"And I do everything for you."

We're broken out of our harryandlouis world by Zayn shouting to us. 

"Have you made up yet or has Harry killed Louis?"  
"I would never kill you," I laugh.   
"I should hope not," Louis snorts, lacing his fingers in my hair to give me another kiss before we go to the living room. 

 

When we leave, I thank the other couple for their help and Louis and I are on our way. 

"Daddy?"  
"Yes darling?"  
"I- erm- if you'd..."  
"Calm down, babe. Take you time to figure out what you want to say." I take a few deep breaths in and out and collect my thoughts. 

"Would you spank me?"  
"I thought you don't like your spankings?"  
"I don't. I touched myself in the shower this morning and I came. I know it's against the rules so I feel bad and it feels like it'd be closure for everything today and our arguments. I always feel so bad, like I've done bad so if I get punished I'd feel better, like it's been resolved."  
"Thank you for telling me. Very naughty for touching yourself aren't you? I hope it was to thoughts of me."

"Of course it was," I mumble. That makes him smile.   
"I'll think about it, okay?"  
"Thank you, Lou."  
"That's okay. Behaving so well for me."

 

When we arrive at the house, Louis fiddles with his keys.   
"When we go in, I want you to go upstairs and take your trousers off. You can right?" With my nod he carries on. "Good, I want you to get naked and lie on the bed in our playroom, hips propped up by a pillow underneath your bum."

I follow his instructions, confused to how that would lead to a spanking but do as he has asked. 

"Good boy," he praises as he walks in the room. "Now, I thought about your offer. And I decided that if you wanted a punishment, you'd get one. Though I won't spank you. I thought I could introduce the chastity device you've avoided for so long." Shit.   
"Can I take back the offer of a punishment?" I groan.   
"Too late, babe," he laughs and pecks me gently on the lips. 

He does it quickly, having to squeeze me a few times so I go softer. It feels odd, my dick weighing down. He just laughs when I shift funny, sitting up and hands me a pair of boxers.  
"How long do I have this on?"  
"We can try five days or a week. I think a week should do but since it's your first time wearing it, I'll go easy on you. How many days do you usually go with an orgasm?"  
"I usually wank in the shower everyday and used to have a girl in my bed that night so not long."

"You'll have to get used to no touching. I may still finger you though, have you do things for me but you will not achieve orgasm."  
"Okay Lou."  
"Good boy. Now we can go and cuddle on the couch. I'm sure you're tired?"  
"Less tired than I was before."

"We can go and eat dinner then. I have a surprise for you."  
"Do I get a clue to what the surprise is?" I ask as he pulls a t shirt over my head and shuffles lounge pants up my legs.  
"Do you not have an idea?"  
"Is it something butt related?"  
"Yeah, something butt related," he laughs, rolling his eyes. 

"Please tell me," I pout.   
"No. Now go downstairs and sit at the table. I put a pizza in the oven before."  
"Okay."

I follow his orders and try to get used to the weighty thing between my legs.

"Need you to tell me if it starts chafing. Your balls might get a bit uncomfortable but I won't have milk you yet. That'll be if you're in it for more than a week."  
"What do you mean, milk me?"

"Massage your prostate until you come. But you don't orgasm, it just drains your come from your balls," he shrugs as he takes the pizza out of the oven. 

"Sounds unpleasant."  
"You thought everything was unpleasant before you came here, now look what you'll let me do to you," he grins, hand resting on the cage over my dick as I eat, making me choke on my food.   
"Sorry love," he chuckles once I've calmed down.   
"It's okay. Do I get my surprise now?" 

"Since when were you excited for 'butt stuff'?" He smiles, referencing to my odd wording before.   
"Well I've not tried much. So the more I try the better while I'm like this."  
"Like what?"  
"Willing."   
"Okay, baby, want you to go and bend over the couch, bum in the air. You can lie your front on the seat of you need to, actually- do that, kneel on the floor and lie your chest on the couch. Don't want your legs to give out or something."   
"Okay."

"Good boy. Now give daddy a kiss before you go and get ready. I'll get the rest of the stuff." I smile as he kisses me gently before nudging me in the direction of the living room. 

This, this is what makes me happy.


	32. Chapter 32

I pull my pants down and fold them on the couch. I settle on my knees, with my chest on the sofa cushion and my face resting on my arms.   
"Good boy," Louis grins when he walks in. "I know you won't be used to this so you can ask me to take it out anytime you want. Is that clear?"   
"Yes Louis," I hum, wiggling my bum. I stop when he sends a harsh smack to my cheek. 

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Your bum is very pretty, baby." I blush and hide my head in my arms.  
"Thank you."

"This might be cold but you can work through it, okay?" I nod my agreement but still flinch when his fingers trace lube onto my hole, pushing with an insistence that has me groaning. 

"There we go, lovely. Relax for me darling." I take a few deep breaths and try my best to relax, successful when Louis manages to slide a finger fully in. He leaves it there, still and rests his other hand on my back. 

"Good boy. Doing so well for daddy aren't you?"   
"Mhm. Good for you," I smile. 

He works his way up to three fingers, soothing me through the burn of the stretch.

"Feels funny. Like I'm not showing you it feels nice because I'm not hard."   
"You don't need to be hard to show it feels nice. You can be loud and thank me. I can tell by the way your body reacts that you like it. I barely have to push my fingers in anymore, your hole is dying for them." My face heard up at such dirty words. 

"I can't say I'm surprised. Feels incredible." My voice is trembling and breathy.   
"You can still talk properly, can't be that good." I groan as he crooks his fingers.

"Ah, daddy, please, daddy."  
"There we go." And his fingers are gone. I whine, trying to turn around but I'm stopped with a smack on the bum. "You don't get out of position unless I tell you to."

"Sorry," I pout, fixing myself back onto the couch.   
"That's okay. You didn't know. Now you picked this surprise out yourself so I hope you like it." I whimper when I feel something plastic pressing against my hole. He pushes it in and I moan until it's fully in.

That's tiny, I can deal with that. But then he's pushing a second one in and it's bigger this time. 

"Beads?" I choke out.   
"Yeah, clever boy, Harry." I beam at the praise, moaning against my arms. "Just a few more Harry. Do you think you can do it?" 

"I can try. Can word out of it's too much, right?"   
"Of course you can," he reassures.  
"'Nother?"

He answers me with pushing another in, squeezing my hip. 

"Good boy, taking them so well. Three more okay?" I nod my head.   
"Will it hurt?"  
"Shouldn't but it won't for long if it does. I'll look after you." I pretty much melt into the couch at that, whining as he presses another in. 

"Louis, want to come," I whimper, tears sticking my lashes together.   
"Not allowed are you? You were naughty Harry. Naughty boys don't get rewards."

"Sorry daddy. I'm so sorry," I sniffle.  
"No need for tears is there? Does it hurt a lot?"  
"No. It's good."  
"You think you're going under?"   
"Yeah." He works quicker then, pushing the last two in within seconds of each other. I cry out, gasping for breath. 

"Lou," I shout, trembling.   
"There we go, lovey. All done. We can cuddle on the couch now. And you ask whenever you want them out okay?"  
"Yes daddy," I whimper, groaning as he lifts me to my feet. My vision is slightly fuzzy, only focusing on Louis so I trust him to guide me properly. 

"Can you walk on your own?" I shake my head quickly. "Okay, I'm not going to leave you here." He walks with me to the couch and let's me sit down, making me whine and wriggle. "How's it feel?"  
"Amazing," I whimper, burying my face into a cushion.   
"Don't do that. Need to go get something but I'll be back in a moment."

When he comes back, my dick is trying its best to get hard, pushing against the cage. 

"Louis, want to come."  
"Stop asking me or I'll take you up in that spanking."  
"Sorry daddy." He smiles and passes me a piece of string.   
"Just hold that for a sec. Roll over so I can get to your bum." I whine, thrusting my hips to move the beads onto my prostate as I roll. Louis laughs and takes the string and I can feel a tug on the beads. 

"Don't take them out please!"  
"I'm not taking them out, Haz." 

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank god. It feels amazing. He rolls me back over and I moan, feeling another tug at the beads. 

"Give me your hand." I hold out my left hand and he ties the string around my thumb and I groan, realising what he's done. "Did so well," he grins. "High five?" And my right hand is supporting me so I have no choice but to move my left quickly to meet his. I cry out at the movement of the toy and move my hand to my side, sitting still but I feel them move as I breathe. 

When Louis has put on an episode of forever, he lies with me and covers us in a blanket.   
"Give me your hand." I whine and stare up at him. He glares at me until I slowly move my hand into his, which is resting in between our bodies. "Good. Gonna stroke daddy off now?"  
"I can't curl my fingers properly." His face drops and he lets go of my hand.   
"Oh shit. Sorry. Haz, it's okay," he apologises when my eyes well with tears. 

"I'm sorry daddy, it's not my fault," I cry as he cradles my face in his hands.   
"It's okay, darling. I know it's not your fault. How about you let daddy fuck your thighs and then we can take the beads out of you?" I nod my head and he wipes my tears before pulling the string off my thumb, attaching the loop to his own middle finger. He smiles mischievously as he pulls me to stand and tells me to follow, tugging on the string.   
"If you think you're going to fall tell me." 

Luckily I don't and we make it to the dining room.   
"Bend over the table." I whimper as I do, the wood cold against my chest and makes my nipples perk up more. He pushes my legs closer together and I hear his pants hit the floor and his boxers before he's behind me, dick pushing in between my thighs. He squirts a bit of lube and by the sounds of it, it makes the friction better for him but it doesn't for me. 

It still drags but all I can think is 'please Louis , make daddy happy, be good.' As his hands move up and down my back, it tugs on the beads and I try to rut against the table but the plastic encasing my dick makes that impossible. 

It isn't long before he comes, aiming at my backside. I collapse, my legs giving out, before he can catch me and he has to lie me on the floor face down while he retrieves a cloth to wipe me off with. He wipes the cum and lube off of me and slowly, one by one, pulls out the beads. He carries me to the living room, whispering praise in my ear the whole time. 

"So good Harry. Did amazing for me. You're being so good." I smile lazily and tuck my head into his neck once we're covered by the blanket again.

"How're you feeling?"   
"Fuzzy."   
"Hmm, is that good?"   
"Mhm. Warm. Cosy. You."  
"Me?"

"Yeah. Think of you lots." he huffs a laugh and if I wasn't floaty, I would be embarrassed. But I am floaty right now so I'm not.   
"I should hope so. How do you feel about thinking about me so much?"   
"Is nice. I like you." He smiles and rubs his hand down my back.   
"I like you too. Like you lots."   
"Yeah. Thanks."   
"Are you gonna come up?"  
"Don't want to."  
"You have to. Please? I want to speak to you."  
"We're speaking now."  
"Don't be cheeky, mister. You can't have a normal conversation when you're under." I pout and nibble at the skin of Louis' collarbones.   
"Sorry daddy."  
"It's okay," he laughs. 

He speaks to me for a while before I hum.   
"Don't feel fuzzy anymore, Lou."   
"That's good baby. You tired?"   
"Yeah."  
"Lets go to bed then. We have class tomorrow." I grumble as he helps me up the stairs, pushing me onto our bed. "Night daddy," I mumble as he tucks me in.   
"Night baby."


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you might be getting fed up of the back and forth between Louis and Harry but it happens on this chapter and it's the last time ever in the book.

"Haz, wake up, this lesson is important."  
"What's so important?" I ask as I roll over to my back. Louis is sat on the end of the bed dressed and ready.   
"It might be upsetting to you." I frown. "I will tell you over breakfast. Go get a shower, I'll leave you your outfit for today." 

I nod and walk to the bathroom, turning the shower on. I frown down at the plastic covering my dick, stopping any chances of morning wood. I sit down on the toilet, the feeling strange when I piss. 

Once I've showered, I dry my hair and is my towel around my waist, finding only a pair of panties. They're pale blue and lacy, the first pair I ever wore. Maybe he has my clothes downstairs. 

"Haz, sit down." I frown more now, sitting across from him at the table. "In this lesson, you have to show up naked."  
"No."  
"Haz, c'mon."  
"What's the reason?"  
"It's meant to show you're completely willing to strip away your luxuries and do what your dominant asks."  
"No." I get up and walk into the living room. 

"Harry. Don't make me punish you." I sigh, tears welling in my eyes as he wraps his arms around me and sits me on his knee.   
"Louis, I don't want to go into lesson with nothing but panties and a cock cage on."   
"Everyone else will be doing it."  
"Not everyone will be wearing a cage over their dicks as a punishment or girls underwear."

"I know Zayn's wears panties."  
"He said he only wears them for the bedroom."  
"If it makes you feel better, I'll ask if he'll wear some today."  
"I'm not making my friend have a worse day just because I'm having a bad one. I don't see why I have to do this. Surely me submitting to you everyday is enough?" He stays silent. 

"Am I not enough for you?"   
"Oh my god, Harry. Of course you are. How many times do I have to say it? I am not worthy of having you. It's a miracle you even grace me with your presence." 

I feel bad for not saying anything back but I'm not ready for anything like that. If I say it, it becomes real. That, coupled with my nerves for today's lesson makes the tears spill over.   
"Haz what's wrong?"  
"I feel so bad not saying anything back. But I'm scared to."  
"Why're you scared?"   
"Because I've never been involved wih anyone romantically before. It feels like I'm making a bigger commitment than I'm ready for."

"Haz, you're with me for at least two years. Hopefully five and more if this goes the way I want. That's a commitment. And you don't need to say it back. Say it when you're sure."  
"I think I feel the same way. But it makes everything we do seem more real."

"Next you tell me, make sure it's without the I think. Then I'll know you've made up your mind." I nod and dry my cheeks.   
"Thank you Louis."  
"So. Let's go to lesson." That makes me freeze in his lap and he sighs. 

 

"Can I bring a blanket?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "It's a good way of covering up, I can use the excuse I'm cold and unwell and it's not clothing. I'd still be naked."  
"You're a little shit sometimes." 

And even though he didn't use much venom in his words it still makes me cry and climb off of his lap.

"Babe. Don't be silly, daddy didn't mean it."  
"Yes you did. You told me you'd never lie to me. So did you lie then or did you mean it?" He sighs and the angry expression returns. 

"Get outside now. You're lucky I'm not putting a plug in you or making you wear clamps." He doesn't sound angry, just more fed up. When I don't budge he lifts me up and pushes me in the direction of the door. "Go, Harry." 

I cry as I walk to the door and open it. "You don't need shoes." I frown and step out onto the wet floor. I guess it's rained. 

While we're walking, Louis keeps a firm grip around my wrist and I cry the whole way there.   
"Will you stop blubbering?" He snaps loudly, making a fresh wave of tears appear. "For fuck sake Harry."   
"Why're you being so mean?" I whimper.   
"I'm not. You asked me to be strict."  
"I said strict not a douchebag." He drops me hand and slaps me on the bum. 

"I've had enough Harry! I do everything I can to please you. I've changed my ways, made up with you too many times to count. Yet you always find something new to be bothered about!" He's shouting and pointing at me as I cower. 

It sends me back to when I was a child, a similar argument between me and my dad before my beat the shit out of me. That was the first time he ever hit any of us. 

I still have nightmares about it to this day and right now isn't helping. Shouting scares me. I'm just a wuss. 

"You're scaring me," I sob, trying to get away from him but he grabs my arm, face dropping when I flinch away from him.   
"Don't be-" he's cut off by Zayn interrupting.   
"C'mon Haz, lets go and find Ali, hey?" He distracts, resting a hand on my shoulder.   
"Zayn, don't interrupt me," Louis snaps trying his best to over power the boy. 

"Don't try to intimidate my sub Louis. Step away from the both of them."

I swear, Liam and Zayn are the most levelheaded couple ever. Zayn hugs me as I cry and even sits on the floor as I'm wracked with sobs.   
"Harry, don't overreact," Louis says, but his voice is small and I can tell he knows he's the one being ridiculous. 

 

"You've just screamed at the top of your lungs at him and- for Harry- I imagine this is going to be a tough day. You being horrible isn't going to help."   
"Hey, Haz, we're going to go and see Ali, yeah?"   
"No. I've got my cage on. Everyone's going to see."  
"Louis can give us the key and we can take it off."  
"No. It's a punishment I deserve."  
"You should never get punished when you or Louis are upset. you've agreed on that."   
"Harry?" 

It's Louis and when I look at him I can see he's crying too. "We can go home if you'd like or you can stay with Zayn and Liam and go to lesson. Go and see Ali. Anything."  
"I want to go home." He looks surprised by that. 

"No. I mean my real home." His bottom lip trembles and I have to look away because I can't bear to see him so sad.   
"You don't really mean that do you?"   
"I don't know. My mum hates me. You hate me, no one loves me."  
"Oh, Haz, I love you to death," Zayn comforts.   
"Zayn, take Haz to see Mr. Johnson will you?" He takes out his phone and hands it to us. "Phone Louis if you need to talk to me." They part with a kiss and me and Louis stare at each other for a bit longer. Liam passes Zayn a backpack. 

"I don't hate you, Haz."   
"You sure act like it." Liam drags him away before he can say anything in retaliation. 

"What's in there?" I ask when I'm not crying anymore.   
"It's usually for in case I go into subdrop. Li carries it just in case on days like these. Louis never had one of these?"  
"No," I frown. "Do you go into subdrop often?"  
"Few times so far. No ones fault but my own though." I nod my head and focus on my breathing, trying not to be sick. 

"Are you okay?"   
"I feel kind of sick and faint." Zayn hurries us to the classroom then, and when we get in, we're late and everyone is staring at me. 

 

"Z," I mumble before I can't stop the bile rising in my throat and spewing on the floor. I start crying as everyone makes disgusted sounds and moves away from me and I sob even harder when I hear someone shout 'looks like the sissy can't stomach being caged.' 

The last thing I see is Mr. Johnson rushing towards me before I fall into complete darkness.


	34. Chapter 34

I groan as I wake up, my limbs feeling stuff and my throat achy. I feel fingers comb through my hair and I look up to see Li. I have wires connected to my arms and chest, machines bleeping around me. 

"Hey Harry," he says softly, dimming the lights because I'm squinting. "How're you feeling?"  
"Rough. Where's am I?"  
"Hospital. Had quite the fall there, Harry."   
"Where's Lou?"  
"He's in the waiting room. Zayn's sat with him to talk to him about what happened. He's spoken to Ali and we have some news to give you. Not yet though." I frown. What does he have to tell me?

"I want to see him." Liam- unsurprisingly, looks shocked by my statement. "I want to see my boyfriend." 

 

Liam leaves a few minutes later to get Louis. I sit myself up against the pillows, watching as Louis walks in.   
"Haz!" He exclaims before he starts crying.   
"Lou, don't cry. Please don't cry," I beg. My eyes fill with tears. If there's something wrong with Louis, I should be sad too, right?

"M'sorry babe," he apologises. He doesn't move from the door. I make grabby hands at him until he sits on the edge of my bed.   
"I'm sorry for being naughty."  
"Don't be sorry for what you did, darling. I was out of order. Okay?"  
"Okay. What do you have to tell me?"   
"Haz, we've decided it's best if you live with Liam again until I get myself sorted out."  
"But I won't see you?"  
"I won't be your Dom." My hands reach for my collar and my fingers unsuccessfully search for the leather strap, tears falling from my eyes. 

 

"Don't leave me. Not you, anyone but you," I sob.   
"Harry it's for the best."  
"It's not and you know it's not."   
"When you're allowed to come home your things will be at Liam's. You don't need to come to my house."  
"I thought you cared about me?"  
"I do. That's why I'm doing this. It's to protect you."  
"I don't need protecting. Especially from you."  
"You clearly do, look what happened this morning, the day before that, all the other arguments we've had. I've caused."

"Normal couples argue. If you cared for me you wouldn't just leave." He gets up and wipes his eyes.   
"I'll see you around Harry?"

"Daddy don't go," I cry.   
"I'm not your daddy anymore." He opens the door after we stare for a while longer and in the silence, I blurt out the best thing I think I've ever said. 

"Louis, I love you." He stops in his tracks.   
"Harry don't," Liam warns but I shake him off and get out of bed, ripping a few stickers off of me in the process. I grab Louis' arm and pull him back to me. 

 

"Don't leave. Not like this." And he surges forward, pressing a soft, long kiss to my lips. "I love you." He frowns and rests his head on mine.   
"I love you, Harry. That's why I have to go. I don't want to hurt you." 

Liam pulls me into a hug as Louis leaves me bawling and shaking.   
"It's not so bad, love. you come and stay with us for a little while and you have freedom to do everything you want. That's what you've wanted for a while now yes?"  
"No! Not anymore. I need a Dom. I need Louis."  
"Only going to be a few weeks." Is lump back in my bed and frown. 

"I knew I wasn't enough. He's going to a new sub isn't he?"   
"Not even close to the truth." 

I block out anything Liam is saying and curl up into a ball, crying into my pillow. What would Louis think? Me, wallowing in sadness and self pity. 

Im pathetic. No wonder he doesn't love me.


	35. Chapter 35

We're allowed to go home later this afternoon and I stay silent for the rest of the day, locking myself in my room once we get to Liam's house. They try to make me come out and eat but my only response is stupid. 

"I don't deserve it. Been a bad sub."  
"Honey you're not a bad sub," Liam says from the other side of the door and I can hear his frown. "Lou is doing this to practice being a better Dom."

"He's got a new sub!?"   
"No. They practice on dummies."  
"I want to see Louis," I demand.   
"Tough love, Harry. Just get some sleep and I'll wake you up for dinner."  
"Since when do I take orders off of you?"   
"When did you take orders off of Louis?" I start crying. Again because of that, much to Liam's dismay.   
"Haz-"  
"No! Everyone knows I'm a bad sub. I don't deserve Louis. Just leave me alone." The last thing I hear before I go to sleep is a phone ringing and footsteps away from my door.


	36. Chapter 36

It continues like that for days. Though I lose track of how long I've been here. I don't leave my room, Liam bringing me food up at the appropriate times of the day for me to have, although I don't eat much of them. He gives me a hard time about it but without Louis, it feels like everything's wrong. I feel sick all the time but I'm trying. 

One night, I hear Louis come in. I hear him shout me but I ignore him. Any emotions I've settled over the past few days will go haywire again if I see him and I don't want to risk it. He even has the nerve to knock on my door. 

"I'm sorry about everything. I've been studying and I'm ready to take my exams again. If I pass, you can choose if you come back with me. If I don't, you'll get paired with someone else." I sit and cross my fingers, hoping Louis aces the exams. He sighs when I don't reply. I can't think of what to say but when I hear him walking away I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.   
"Daddy?" He gasps, maybe not used to the name anymore. Or not expecting me to talk to him.   
"Yeah?"   
"Fucking ace the exams." He laughs and I can picture him, eyes crinkled and mouth wide and perfect.   
"I will try my best, Hazza. As long as you try your best to stay healthy and good. Take care of yourself."  
"That's been our agreement right? We both try or it doesn't work?"  
"Yeah. Clever lad." I frown. It should be 'good boy' or 'my clever little boy' but no. It's not. 

"Don't pout." 

What the hell?  
"I'm not-"  
"Don't lie to me." I huff.   
"Sorry Lou."  
"Good boy. My good boy, aren't you?" And my heart pretty much explodes. When I hum my agreement, voice high pitched and breathy, Louis laughs and tells me to calm down. And then he has to go. So we part with sad little "see ya later"'s. 

A few days later, the high of our conversation has worn off and I'm still hibernating in my room. 

"Harry?" 

It's Liam who wakes me up. And the fact it's not Louis makes my heart wrench. I feel very cold, sick, sweaty and sad. I want Louis to make me feel better.   
"Wake up, mate."  
"I want Louis." He sighs from the other side of the door.   
"He's coming over later with his dad to sort things out."

I'm conflicted; ecstatic to see him yet nervous to find out if he's failed. I hope he hasn't.   
"Thanks Li."   
"It's okay, Harry. I just want you to get happier. And you two to get sorted."

I guess Louis hasn't mentioned our little interaction the other day then?  
"So do I," I say glumly.   
"Get out of bed then, lazy bum," he jokes. "Breakfasts on the table, Zayn wants to see you but he's not feeling very good."  
"What's up with him?" I ask, concerned about my best friend.   
"He's not very well and because he's worrying about you, he feels worse." And that makes me feel bad.   
"I'll be down in twenty minutes."  
"See you in a bit, Haz." 

I huff, turning the shower on while I find my clothes. I grab a pair of boxers and the really tight pair of jeans that Louis used to love me in. I choose a white t shirt and throw them all into the bathroom. 

When I get out of the shower I feel better, refreshed but I'm hungry so I dress quickly and dry my hair, ruffling it back. I grab a hoody, throwing it over my shoulders. I open my door and sigh. Breakfast smells nice. Bacon, sausage and toast? Fab. 

"Harry!" Zayn smiles when he sees me but his enthusiasm makes him cough and sneeze into his tissue. "Sorry," he laughs, voice nasally.   
"It's fine mate. How're you doing?" I ask when I sit next to him, sinking into the couch.   
"Alright. Li's taking care of me."  
"I'd kill him if he wasn't," I say loudly so he hears me and I can hear his laugh from the kitchen. 

"You seem better," Zayn comments as he flicks through the tv channels.   
"I miss him. It's pathetic."  
"It's not pathetic. He misses you too."  
"How'd you know?" I frown glumly.   
"Spoke to him on the phone before. He says he hasn't slept much. He got his results from his tests back this morning."  
"And?"  
"He won't tell me." I sag into the chair. 

"You want him to pass?"  
"Of course I do. But if he does and I choose to go with him, what if he doesn't want me to?"  
"Harry," Zayn sighs, rolling his eyes. "I've had an earful about how nervous Louis is in case you choose to get another Dom."

"I feel sick."  
"Go get some food down you, H. You'll feel better for it." I nod and smile as I get up to leave, laughing as Zayn shouts after me. "Harry's got butterflies, Harry's got butterflies!" 

"Aww, our Haz has butterflies," Liam winks once I'm in the kitchen.   
"Shut up," I laugh, blushing as I grab my bacon butty. "Thanks, Li. Y'know for letting me stay, being patient while I was an absolute knob. It means a lot."

 

"Don't go soft on me," he laughs but he's serious and he's got this look in his eyes I can't bear.  
"Yeah. I won't," I shrug, scratching the back of my neck. We sit awkwardly while I eat and once I've finished we stay there. Until the doorbell rings. 

 

"I'll answer the door," Liam offers, standing to get it.


	37. Chapter 37

The first thing I hear is a cheer. Good news then?

"Harry," Mark nods when he walks in.   
"Hi Mark." He smiles and sits to the left of me. 

"Haz," Louis whispers when he sees me, biting his lip.  
"It's good to see you."  
"It's amazing to see you, Lou." Louis blushes. I don't think I've ever seen Louis blush. It's very pretty. He's very pretty.

"Right. Let's cut to the chase. I passed. But it's down to you to decide. If you don't want to be with me, we'll find another partner for the both of us. If you do, we'll be monitored closely."

"You seriously think I'd not want to be with you by now?" He only grins and gets out our contract. A blank one.   
"Let's start from the beginning. We'll do things properly now that you have a bit more of an idea of what's happening." 

I grin and take my time filling out the sheet, actually thinking more seriously about the options. I add a fuck load more maybes. A few definite no's. And obviously my yes'. 

I add maybes to some punishments or activities Louis has seemed interested in and add yes to the most important one, for me at least. Anal sex. Louis seems pleased and we both sign it. 

"We'll move your stuff in later. In the meantime, let's go home, yeah?"  
"Mhm. Thank you daddy." He grins and holds his hand out to me. I wince as I put my hand in his. 

"Sorry, baby. Your doctors appointment is later to look at your fingers."  
"Oh. I've missed a few haven't I?"  
"Yeah. But they said it should be okay. We'll find out later on won't we?" I nod my head and go to my room, Louis following me. 

"Looks like you've settled in."  
"I haven't left the room before today," I mumble.   
"Oh Harry, that's not taking care of yourself. Is it?"

"I still drank and slept and ate. I washed but changed into more pyjamas."  
"How did you get changed with your hands?"  
"With difficulty," I shrug. He frowns and lies on the bed, pulling me to lie on his chest.

"I've missed you," he whispers kissing my head.   
"I've missed you too. I've missed you too much."  
"Too much?"

"Yeah. I've never missed someone that much. You were only across the road too. It's stupid."   
"Does that mean I'm stupid for missing you?"  
"No. You're not stupid," I promise kissing his chest. He laughs.   
"Thank you baby, but if daddy's not stupid for missing you then you're not stupid for missing me. Okay? Don't be harsh on yourself."  
"Sorry daddy."

"Okay. When we go home, I'm going to explain the rules of the house that have now been put in place. And we can get your collar on you?"  
"Yes please."  
"Then, we have class and an appointment with Ali. Then we can have lunch then go and get your fingers checked okay?"

"Yes daddy."  
"And if you're a naughty boy, daddy will take you over his lap wherever he pleases, okay?" I gulp but nod my head, feeling the flush spread down my neck. 

"Good boy."  
"Thank you." He grins and kisses me properly now, the first time in what feels like ages. He twists my hair, pulling moans from my lips. 

"Go downstairs and thank Liam and Zayn. Tell them we'll join them at lunch and dinner and say goodbye. I'll be down later with some of your things." I nod, scurrying downstairs to obey Louis. 

"In a rush Hazza?" Zayn smiles.   
"Thanks for letting me stay. I'll see you at lunch and dinner but I'm gonna go home with Louis."  
"Make sure you keep me updated right? Tell what happens and if anything goes wrong, I'm always here." I smile, pulling him into a hug.   
"Thanks Z. I love you."  
"I love you, Haz. You'll have to stay again sometime, just don't be mopey while you're here."

I laugh, nodding my head.   
"That sounds good. I'll speak to daddy about it." He smiles, pinching my cheek when I blush because of calling Louis 'daddy' in front of other people.  
"I'll speak to Li, too." 

"Thanks for letting me stay, Liam. It means a lot. Daddy said we'll see you at lunch and dinner but we're going to go home now." He grins, pulling me in for a hug.   
"You're always welcome here, Harry. I'm glad you two are sorted again."  
"So am I." 

"What are you's two so happy about?" Louis asks from behind me.   
"Are we not allowed to be happy, Lou?" Liam asks. Louis rolls his eyes, but cracks a smile.  
"Not without me. Now, c'mon. Let's get you home, mister," he directs to me. We say another goodbye and we're out of the door.

"Want you to kneel for me when we get in the living room," Louis orders while we're toeing our shoes off next to the door. I rush to kneel next to the couch Louis usually sits on and settle down into the position he wants. 

"Good boy," he compliments when he walks in, a hand in my hair when he sits down.   
"Been good for me so far. Want you to try and keep this up, okay?"  
"Yes daddy. Thank you." I smile at the floor, fingers twitching on my leg.   
"It's okay."


	38. Chapter 38

"I want us to really know what we're doing this time round. We have to establish everything we're sure of. If you want to go hard with this we can but I feel like what we were doing was fine. You can definitely call me Louis more. I still have a few rules though, just so we know what is expected of us. Okay?" I hum, nodding my head against his leg. 

"Number one. No swearing, you fucking foul mouth," he jokes. I laugh and kiss his knee. 

"Number two. No masturbation without my permission. Do you know why this is?"  
"You want to be responsible for my orgasms?"   
"Yes. Good boy. 

Number three. You take your punishment like a good boy. Obviously neither of us will be mad at the time of the punishment but I will explain the rules. If you think still angry you can just colour out and your punishment will be given later on. 

Number four. You can always word out. Even if it's just because someone said something that makes you uncomfortable. There will be no punishments for colouring. 

Number five. Do as I ask and trust that it's the best for you. I will always tell you what's going to happen if I think you're going to need the information. 

Number six. Before we have sex you're going to need an enema. I know it doesn't sound pleasant but there are many benefits to doing this and some find it very pleasurable. I need to make sure if have your consent so this rule just makes sure our sex is clean and safe. 

Number seven. If you're interested in trying something new you ask me about it and we work something out. I want us to do as much kinky shit as we can. 

Number eight. I expect you to go by my rules not any other dom's. Obviously you pay attention to teachers and Ali but I make the rules and enforce them. 

Number nine. If you're good you get a reward, maybe a date or a new toy. If you're bad you get a punishment. Usually a spanking or a cock cage. I expect you to tell me if you've been bad and I don't know because I will find out and it will just make your punishment worse if I don't find out from you. Might use a nappy next time you're naughty." 

Before I even have a chance to voice my protests, he tuts. 

"Don't interrupt me. We will discuss this with Ali. We will go over anything that may be emotionally bad for you, something you have a bad history with in the past. Like the paddles or - my dad used to lock me in a cupboard when I was naughty so I'm scared of tight places." 

My head snaps up to look at him. How can he just admit something like that?   
"How do you get on with him now then?"  
"Oh sorry. I meant my biological father. Mark is my step dad, remember?" I sigh a breath of relief and relax with his hands still in my hair. 

"I'm sorry."  
"Not your fault right? But I want to know if you have any fears like that later on, okay?" I nod dreading later on when the conversation comes up. 

I've never told anyone about my past. My dad was horrible to me when he divorced my mum. I went with him and Gemma stayed with mum. He got a new girlfriend, a massive bitch and he started to drink even more. He beat me when we argued and she did it for fun. They smoked a lot, used to breathe the smoke in my face which made my asthma so much worse. 

They made my life living hell. 

I sigh and move my head to a more comfortable position, facing away from Louis.

"There's nothing to be afraid of Harry. You're safe with me, okay?"   
"Yeah. Thanks Lou."  
"No problem babe. 

Number ten. Be nice to yourself. Don't put yourself down because of anything. Take care of your body, take your inhalers, make sure you eat well and don't run off again. You ever feel like you need to, you tell me no and I'll stop and listen to you. Make sure your mental health stays okay too. If you feel like anything is wrong, ever. You come and you talk to me okay?" 

 

"Yeah."

"Good. Come and sit on my lap and we'll discuss something I saw on the contract." I frown, knowing what this conversation will be and stretch my legs as I stand. I curl into the corner of the couch and accept the hug that Louis pulls me into.

 

"I want you to know that no matter what's happened in your past, it won't change my view of you. You understand that right?" I nod my head, my cheek rubbing against the soft material of his t shirt. He's comfortable and warm. "Are you sure you want to have sex?"

"I mean- not straight away but yes. I'd like to."   
"Okay. That's good. Want you to be comfortable with things filling you up." I blush at his words, shivering as his fingers trail up my side. 

"I'm ticklish, don't," I laugh. He grins, fitting his hand into the dip of my waist.   
"I like hearing you laugh," Louis muses, pressing a kiss to my hair. "You know what?"   
"Hmm?" I ask. 

"I think it's time someone got their collar on. Is that something you want?" I think about it. Do I?   
"Yeah. I think- yeah." Louis nods and gets off the couch, jogging upstairs. I kneel on the floor next to the couch and sigh, bowing my head. This is going to be a long day. 

"Good, babe. Do you want your heart collar or your necklace-y one?"  
"Necklace." 

 

The cool metal makes me shiver and I duck my head lower so he can fasten it.   
"Can you stand up for me, love?" I push myself up and smile up at him.

"I love you," he whispers, lips brushing against mine.   
"I love you," I repeat, closing my eyes and pushing forwards.   
"Eager," he laughs. 

My smile widens and he wraps his arms around my waist tightly. 

"Are we going to go to class now? Mr. Johnson has been waiting to see us."  
"I'm sure we'll have fun then,"I mutter.   
"Don't be like that, he's nicer to you than he is to anyone else. Be nice to him," Louis reprimands when he pulls away. 

"Sorry." He helps me get my coat on and presses a kiss to my cheek as we walk out the door. 

 

We walk to the school building, lining up outside my classroom. There isn't many people about, we're early for the first time. Liam and Zayn are here of course. 

"How's it been?" Liam asks when louis pulls me to stand next to them.   
"An hour and a half," I joke. Liam rolls his eyes while Zayn laughs.   
"Very funny, Harry. Seriously though. Have you been getting on?"   
"Haz has been great. Always is," Louis grins, pulling me into his side.   
"Glad to hear it. Even got your collar back on."  
"Yeah."

It doesn't take long for Mr. Johnson to call everyone in, telling me and Louis to wait outside.

"Boys. It's good to see you again. Especially together," he says when he meets us. "How are you enjoying being back Harry?"

"Beats cooping myself up in my room at Liam's. We are getting along just fine so far. Which, isn't exactly a record for us. We've gotten along for more than an hour before."

"Well you've been known to get in a mood quicker," Louis adds. "But touch wood, you'll be fine." 

I sigh and nod my head, following his instructions when he ushers me to go in the classroom.

"Just go and kneel next to Zayn. We're going to go through punishments today. How many you've had, why and what happened. Louis can sit with you. A few people have said this is something they don't want to participate in so they're sat at the back. If you don't feel comfortable at with them." 

Louis stands outside with him for a few more minutes before coming in and sitting with me next to Liam and Zayn. He brings a chair over and pulls me to sit in between his knees. I close my eyes and smile, resting my head against his leg as he runs his hands through my hair. 

"I love you," he whispers in my ear, pressing a kiss to my neck. I'm not proud of the happy noise I make but Louis seems to be pleased. 

"Right class. We better crack on with things. We're going to go in register order and say how many punishments we've all had. Why you got them and what your punishment was. Also what you've learned from that. Everyone okay with that?" A buzz of approval hums through the class.

"Is that okay? I know how many and the other things." I nod.   
"How many?"   
"Four. Three spankings and a cock cage. You know why?"  
"I ran away. I flipped on you in lesson. The one when you broke my fingers. And I wanked without your permission."  
"Good boy. You okay to tell the class?"   
"Yes. Does the finger braking one have to be mentioned?"   
"Yes. We can't be scared of it forever." 

 

We're interrupted by Mr. Johnson clearing his throat loudly.   
"Would you and mr. Tomlinson like to tell the class your answers?" I freeze. Everyone is looking at me, waiting for my reply.   
"Lou. Can you?" He pets at my head, soothing my worries. 

"Of course I can, lovely. I've spanked Harry three times. And he's had a cock cage on once. Four punishments in total. The first time I spanked him was because he ran away, the second because he swore at me a lot, third. 

Well I was angry about some little narks Harry got into. And stupidly, spanked him. I broke his fingers. Then he wore a cock cage because he masturbated without permission."

"What did you learn from your punishments?" Mr. Johnston asks, diverting the attention back to me.   
"I erm- to take care of myself and keep myself safe. That swearing is bad, especially towards Louis. The third was an unfair punishment. And the fourth, that I don't own my orgasms. Louis does." I speak quietly and slowly, avoiding the gazes of everyone else. 

"Unfair?" A Dom from the front of the class asks loudly. I think he's called Alan. "You take what you get."

"Alan, I do not believe it is your place to interfere with a couples thoughts on heir own relationship. Louis can you explain why it was unfair?"  
"I ignored Harry when he coloured out. I broke his fingers. It was the worst thing I've ever done."   
"Okay. Thank you for sharing everyone."

 

A bit later in the lesson after a few people just asking about punishments and whether there is a correlation between misbehaviour and punishments, sir announces something that makes my heart stop. 

"Due to certain events, our lesson about being free and bare, was cancelled. It has been rescheduled for tomorrow. I hope there aren't any issues this time." 

Louis smiles down at me when I look back at him.   
"You okay darling?"   
"No. No I'm not." I can feel the tears building in my eyes and the panic rises in my throat.   
"Don't do this now, Haz."  
"I think I may be sick. Please can we go?"   
"Of course. You run to the loo, I'll be there in a moment." 

With his permission I bolt out of my seat on the floor, running for the toilets which luckily aren't too far away. 

 

I flinch when a hand lands on my back.   
"It's okay. It's me. Just me, baby." I sob into the toilet, throwing up as Louis comforts me. "We'll sort this out. I promise." 

I nod, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "You want to go home?"   
"Yes please." 

He stands me up and wraps his arms around me, flushing the toilet and walking away.   
"Mr. Johnson says we can go home."

We reach home and I brush my teeth with Louis supporting me.   
"You feeling better baby?"  
"Yeah. Thank you."   
"You don't need to thank me. C'mon. We have an appointment we need to get to."


	39. Chapter 39

Ali seems over joyed to see us.   
"Look who has came back from the dead!" She grins, pulling me into a hug.   
"Good to see you too Ali," I laugh. "What is this even about?"  
"Just to talk about what happened when we split up, when we were split up and now. Review the contract," Louis supplies.   
"Oh. Okay." 

 

"So you're sure you want to have sex with Louis?" I blush, staring at my hands.   
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, lovely," Louis reassures, pulling me closer into his side.   
"Yes. I'm sure."  
"And what has changed your mind?"  
"I trust him more. He has earned my trust. I love him." Ali grins, jotting something down on her notepad. 

"I love you too," Louis responds, kissing my head. "I have a treat for you when we get home,"he whispers.   
"What is it?"  
"I don't think you'd want me to mention it in front of Ali," he hints, raising his eyebrows and kissing at my neck.   
"Oh. I- uh..." he laughs and shakes his head.   
"Tell you later." 

After discussing a few more things, I remember the 'childhood' conversation we're meant to be having. 

"So are we done? We can go?"  
"Don't be rude Harry," Louis chastises. "We have some things we still need to talk about," Ali smiles.   
"I don't want to," I pout. Louis sighs and grabs my arms, pulling them behind my back and holding me onto his lap. I relax in his hold but the frown on my face still stays there. 

"Tough. Now, are you going to be good?" I shake my head. This is not a conversation I want to have. 

" Shall I just spank you right now then?" Tears pool in my eyes.   
"Harry why is this such a big deal?"  
"I was abused. Okay?" I blurt out, muffling my sniffles in Louis' leg. I wriggle and Louis' hold on my arms loosens and he strokes a hand through my hair. I sit up, shuffling into the corner of the couch.   
"Oh, love."

Ali clears her throat.   
"Do you think you'd be more comfortable talking to Louis in private. Let Louis write the no- goes down?" I nod and Louis pulls me back to his side. I wipe my nose on my sleeve, resting my head on his shoulder. 

"It's alright, babe. Tell me tonight? We   
have nothing to do tomorrow so we can have a nice day together."  
"What about my treat?" Ali laughs but Louis just stares at me fondly.   
"You'll get it tomorrow," he smiles, pressing a kiss to my head.   
"Okay. We have to go the doctors now right?" 

"After we've had lunch, yes baby." We say goodbye to Ali and she wishes us luck for our chat tonight.   
"If you need to word out Harry, you can. Remember the breathing exercises we practiced?"   
"Y-yeah. Uh- thanks," I mumble, sticking to Louis' side. 

"C'mon love, forget about it for now," he soothes, tugging me out of the appointment room. I follow his lead intothe lunch hall, sitting silently next to Zayn when Louis goes to get lunch. 

"You okay mate? Look a bit under the weather."   
"'M fine," I snap, fed up of talking about myself and in a sour mood from counselling. I regret it as soon as I've said it, Zayn frowning and his eyes filling up with tears. "Shit, I'm sorry." He shrugs and shuffle further down the bench. 

"What happened sweetie?" Liam asks when he walks over, worry in his voice. "Nothing. 'M fine," Zayn lies. I'm not going to let him cover for me when he might get in trouble for lying.   
"I got annoyed and was nasty to Zayn. I made him cry," I admit, earning a thwack on the back of the head from Louis.   
"Seriously Louis? Hitting him now isn't going to help. Give the lad a break he's had a tough time because of you," Liam argues. 

When he's happy that Zayn is okay, Liam sits across from us. Louis sits and glares at me the whole time we're eating. I'm in for it. 

 

"I might reconsider you surprise. Might just spank you," Louis mutters angrily once we're alone.   
"I'm sorry Lou. I'm just scared about tonight."  
"Yeah well we all have excuses but not all of them work. Go get in the car and don't speak unless your spoken to. That includes in the doctors." 

I frown and scuff my feet along the gravel as I walk to his car. This will be a long car trip.


	40. Chapter 40

The car journey is short but it feels like forever. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself asking a random question or singing along to the radio.

 

Louis is calming down throughout the ride, knuckles turning from with to tan by the time we reached the hospital. I'm not one to thrive in silence. I despise it.

"C'mon," Louis sighs, helping me out of the car. "You okay love?" He asks when I lean against him. "Yeah. Love you," I mumble, tucking my head into his neck.

"I love you too," Louis smiles. "But c'mon. The doctors gonna kill us if we miss another appointment. "

 

"You should be able to get these taken off soon. Just rest them, they seem to be working heavily still."

"I barley do anything for myself," I huff. "It's not like I can have everyone wait on me constantly." "I'd be more than happy to," Louis interferes.

"Just try to rest them as much as you can," the doctor continues. "No sports or anything that will make you tense your fingers too much."

 

Louis wiggles his eyebrows at me, squeezig his hands in a mock boob squeeze making me laugh. The doctor sends me a confused look before taping my fingers up again.

"Did really well in there, Haz," Louis smiles when we get back into the car. "We're going to go home and you can talk to me about your past and then we can have a cuddle and go to sleep and then tomorrow, we have class but then you can have your prize.

"I don't want to go to class," I whine, over looking the impending conversation.

"You can just wear your boxers okay? That won't be a problem will it?"

 

If I think about it- no. It's no different from when I strip off any other time really.

"No. I should be fine," I mumble. "That's good, babe," Louis says, flashing a grin in my direction. "Haz?" Louis asks when we're stuck in traffic.

"Hm?"

"Have I ever scared you because of something that happened in your past?"

"Yeah," I admit. "When I said you scared me because you shouted at me."

"I'm sorry love," he frowns. "Why'd it scare you?" He asks gently, testing out how much I'm willing to tell him.

 

"I-I used to argue with my dad a lot. I'd had an argument like that with him. I used to complain about how he acted and hat was the first time he ever hit any of us." I sniffle and press my palms against my eyes. "I shouldn't be that upset about it. It's in the past, he's not in my life anymore."

"Just because it's in the past doesn't mean it's not upsetting, babe." I nod my head and rest my hand on top of his when he squeezes my leg.

"Did he hit you often?"

"He used to come home drunk and then he would yeah. My mum and him split up when I was twelve like two years after he first hit me. He got a new girlfriend and god- she was horrible."

I wince as the memories come flooding back from where I've pushed them to the back of my mind.

"It's okay love. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you."

I smile because even though I know he's hurt me before, I feel safe with him and it's messed up, I know. He's had anger management lessons for a while now and he has been a lot better because of it.

"She encouraged my dad to drink more and I lived with him instead of my mum. Gem lived with mum. They used to smoke and make me breathe in the smoke which made my asthma worse. They'd hit me for the fun of it. They used me as an ashtray."

I squeeze my eyes shut and then the flood gates open up. I sob into my hands for so long that I don't even realise we're home.

Louis gets me out of the car and let's me lean on him as we walk to the door. He lets me slump onto the couch while he goes and makes us a drink and gets us some pyjamas ready.

"You're okay love, no ones going to hurt you know yeah?" I nod my head tucking myself into his side when he sits down.

"Is there anything we can't use because of this?"

"The belt. Don't use a belt. Don't burn me. Don't shout at me. Don't hit me in the face. No forced smoking."

It takes me a while to get it all out but I feel better once I have. "Okay. Easily done," he says softly his hands running through my hair. "I love you," he whispers. "Lou," I whimper. "Love you."

 

He hushes me and kisses me gently.

"Now do you fancy a bath and a cuddle? Or do you want to skip straight to a cuddle?"

"Bath first, cuddle later," I mumble.

"Okay love. I'm going to go run it then, yeah? You going to come with me?"

"Yeah." I stumble after him with blurry eyes and sit on the toilet while he sorts it out.

"You feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Felt good to say it all. Finally let someone know."

"That's good," he smiles. "Are you close with Gemma?"

"Yeah. She was my rock when we were younger and then we were separated."

"Will you go home to see her soon?"

"I don't know if I could face it, being home. I'd love to see Niall but my mum would be there and I feel like what happened there happened and doesn't need to be brought back into my life."

"Baths ready," Louis nods, motioning for me to stand up.

He undresses me slowly, pressing kisses to my skin as he goes, skimming his hands down my sides.

"Lou," I moan as he sucks a mark into my hip. He kisses over the spot and takes my hand once I'm naked.

"In you get. Do you want me in with you or should I sit out of this one?"

"Come and sit with me. Want to be close to you right now."

I get the opportunity to watch as he takes his clothes off, my eyes wandering over his glorious body.

He sits in behind me, pressing kisses to my back. His hands come to rest on my shoulders, thumbs digging into the bottom of my neck.

"Thank you so much for telling me. I love you so much," he whispers, hands moving lower down my back as he continues to massage the tension and worries out of me.

"I love you," I repeat, resting my hands on his legs.

"Can I wash you?"

"Will you let me wash you then?" "You need to be careful but yes you may. Scoot forward, I'll do you first."

I shuffle forward and squirm as he washes my skin with bubble that smell like lemon. I raise up a bit to let him wash my legs and it takes time but we work it out.

I turn around, smiling at Louis as he dollops the same shower gel into my hands. I run my hands over his shoulders, lathering the bubbles and rubbing it into his skin.

"You're skins always so soft," I murmur as I wash him, scattering kisses on his chest.

He washes both our hairs, just in case I catch my fingers and then we're out. He dries us both off with some fluffy towels and helps me pull on a set of tartan pyjamas.

He puts on a pair of boxers and grabs one of my shirts throwing it over his head.

"You look adorable," I grin, blushing at the small gesture of us being a thing.

"Same for you cutie," he winks, pulling me in for a kiss.

"I love you," he breathes, resting his head against mine.

"I love you," I nod, kissing him gently.

"Go get into bed. We can watch a soppy film and cuddle. We have crisps and dip. Do you want some. Or we can have chocolate cake and ice cream," he offers.

"Cake and ice cream sounds great," I nod.

"Thank you. For today."

"I haven't done anything, babe." "You listened. You didn't judge. Thank you," I say more pointedly, not giving him room to argue." "I'd be a bad boyfriend if I didn't."

The use of the word boyfriend makes my heart flutter a little more than it should.

"Go on then, I expect a big slice of cake," I grin, waving at Louis. "Yes, your highness," Louis laughs as he goes to the kitchen, my shirt stopping just at the top of his thighs.

God he looks great. I'm so lucky. The past is behind us. This is a new beginning. Everything's okay.

 

"You comfy?" Louis asks when he comes back in the room, a bowl filled with a large slice of cake with ice cream scooped on top.

"I am thank you," I smile, taking one of the bowls. He sits under the covers next to me, turning the telly on and selecting Friends to watch.

He insists on feeding me my own food, saying that if my hands need a rest, they are getting one.

It's nice though, he's gentle and loving and for the first time in years, I actually feel loved.

Louis makes me take my inhalers and lie down.

He runs his fingers down my side and whispers quite words until I fall asleep.

I'm falling so hard. And right now? It's absolutely brilliant.


	41. Chapter 41

*Zayn's Point of view*

"How do you feel?" Liam asks.   
"Good," I shiver, Liam's hand heavy where it's resting on my ankle.   
"You ready to start?"  
"Yes." 

I sigh and close my eyes to listen carefully to Liam's counting. 

It's my fault we're in this situation. Liam had told me when I first came here that I don't come if I'm not allowed and I have multiple times this week. Liam was still caring afterwards and my punishment is now, nothing too bad just enough to reinforce the rule. 

So that's why I'm sat here, on the couch with Liam next to me in case it's too much and a hand around my dick. 

"One." I lift my hand up and down slowly. Once.   
"Two." And again. Twice.   
"Three." Again. Three times.   
"Four." I take a deep breath and stroke myself four times.   
"Five."

The pattern continues until we reach ten. Then we start again. The heat builds in my stomach but he continues, fingers rubbing soft circles on my ankle.   
"C'mon love, I know you can do it," Liam helps when I stop, jaw clenched and hand away so I don't come. "Doing so well. Only a few more times, yeah?"   
"Yeah," I say, breath shaky. 

"One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten." I sigh, reaching my hand out to Liam. He hushes my small noises and holds my hand as he starts to count again.   
"Li please," I whimper, hand still following the pattern that's been set.   
"Nope, come on darling. Do you think you shouldn't have a punishment?"  
"I deserve it," I nod, but I know how this will end and it won't be fun. I've wanted to come for so long now and Liam is going to try to make this as long as we can. 

"You do. But all is forgiven, this just makes sure you know it, okay?"  
"Yeah. Yeah okay."  
"Take your time to collect yourself." I squeeze his hand and take a few deep breaths before nodding.   
"Okay. I'm green. Good to go," I say, looking up at Li. 

"One..."

 

It isn't long before Liam mixes the numbers up to keep me one my toes, usually just saying a small number; below seven most of the time.   
"Li. Please can I come?" I'm dripping, precome bubbling over onto my hand. It's overwhelming now, too hot despite the fact the windows are open. I want it so bad I could cry- am on the edge of crying. 

"Making a mess aren't you, love? Going to clean that up?" I whimper and nod, bring my hand to my lips and licking it off.  
"Good boy. You going to let me touch you?" I nod, leaning back and letting him move forward. 

Liam's hand wraps around my dick, his touches light and teasing. His thumb rubs over the head, my legs shaking at the effort to stay still.   
"Liam, I'm begging you," I cry, the tears of exhaustion and frustration finally bubbling over.   
"I know you. I know you can last longer, lovey. You going to be good for me?"  
"Yes. Want to- want. Good. I'm good," I mumble, nonsensical words but Liam understands.   
"I know you do. You're very good, darling. But we're doing this because you were a naughty lad weren't you?"  
"Yeah. I'm good though. Good," I sniffle, my stomach swirling. 

He continues to stroke me until I tense up and it's there- so close I can feel it and then- his hands is gone and I'm sobbing. 

My dick bobs, trying to gain contact but it's gone. A mere dribble comes out and trickles down my dick, Liam holding my hands away as I cry. 

"There we go. Did so well for me, Zayn." 

I gulp my breaths down as I cry, Liam pulls me into his lap, cradling my head.   
"There we go, did so well, okay?" I nod my head, breathing like Liam has taught me to calm down.   
"Thank you. Thank you."   
"C'mon, you want to lie down? Have a rest, my love," he whispers, pushing me back so I lie down. My arms loop around his neck so I take him with me, accepting the gentle kiss he presses to my lips.   
"I'm so proud of you, babe. You are so amazing." 

He brings me upstairs and wraps me in a light blanket.   
"Did amazing for me. Yeah? So good!" 

I smile up at him, running my hands through his hair. He is warm and strong against me, sure about every move he makes.   
"Thank you. I'm sorry for misbehaving," I whisper, getting comfortable against him.   
"All is in the lpst now, Zayn. God you're so beautiful. I love you," he grins. His eyes crinkle at the sides and he looks so honest and real right now that I can't help get a bit teary. "Too soon?" He asks.   
"No, not at all. I love you."

"Right. How does a kissing session and you having a nap while I Skype my mum sound?"  
"I want to Skype with your mum," I pout.   
"You're tired. I'll tell her you said hi. I'll Skype her in a few days anyway so you can talk to her then. Okay? You're meeting her in person soon," he reminds me.   
"I'm so excited," I grin, my chest feeling warm. Content.   
"So am I. But for now, I think we should start kissing because you looked gorgeous and I wasn't going to kiss you during that."  
"Maybe if you're lucky, later I'll ride you," I tease, pressing myself closer to Liam.   
"You're a pain in the arse," he laughs but he kisses me anyway and this was the best outcome I ever could've pictured.


	42. Chapter 42

*first day of the year*

"Zayn Malik is the submissive of Liam Payne."

I watch along the row of people as a tall brunette steps forward. I stand up and take his offered hand.   
"Nice to meet you Zayn," Liam smiles. I keep my eyes on the floor. "Look up for me?" I raise my head and let myself examine him. He's quite muscly by the looks of it, broad and solid. Gorgeous.  
"It's good to meet you," I agree, biting my lip as I look at the floor.   
"You can call me whatever you want, babe."  
"Yes, sir," I nod, trying to remember all of the advice my mum gave me before I came here. 

He looks a bit puzzled but doesn't question me. We go and sit next to the window and he pulls me to sit on his lap.   
"You're a quiet one aren't you? Is that how you usually are or do you just get nervous around new people?"  
"I'm not that good with new people," I shrug, looking at my hands. I shiver at the touch of his hand on my back.   
"I'm nothing to worry about, Zayn. Couldn't hurt a fly," he smiles. I nod my head and keep my eyes on the floor. 

After a few minutes of short answers and no eye contact, Liam sighs and great- I've annoyed him now.   
"I'm sorry," I frown standing up and trying get over his lap. That's what I'm meant to do right? Let him spank me?

"Hey, what're you doing?" Liam asks, holding me still so I don't manage to get into the right position. I'm doing everything wrong!  
"You want to spank me, right?"  
"No, you haven't done anything wrong. Sit back down, babe." I allow him to pull me back onto his lap. "Listen," he starts, a warm hand on my leg. "I don't know what you've been taught before you came here but forget all of that; I want you to follow my rules no one else's, okay?"  
"Yeah."  
"Now. Do you want to call me sir or do you wish to call me Liam?"   
"Is it okay if I get used to calling you Liam? I've never been allowed to call a Dom by name."  
"That's fine sweetheart." The name of endearment makes my heart swell and I nod.   
"Thank you."  
"Just treat me like you would a friend for the time being and we'll figure out how we want to deal with this, yeah? So you've had a Dom before?"  
"Yeah. We weren't together for long but he was my boyfriend and then I spoke to him about what I wanted and he tried but he said it was too much to handle. I haven't had one for about a year. But any other Dom's I've met only allowed me to call the, sir."  
"I've never had a sub before," he admits, the hand in my back trailing under my shirt and tracing patterns on my spine.   
"Well I hope I live up to your expectations," I smile, leaning into the touch.   
"I'm sure you will," he grins, leaning forward to press a kiss to my cheek. I rest my head on his shoulder and place a kiss on a little freckle on his neck. 

I look forward to studying every bit of his skin, mapping out the places that give him most pleasure; figure out what my favourite parts of him are. Finding out what makes him happy, makes him tick. What he finds hot.

"You're thinking. What're you thinking about?"   
"You."  
"Anything specific?" He smiles.  
"Is there anything specific you find hot?"  
"You." I laugh and inhale the smell of Liam. It's reassuring. Safe.  
"Well I can certainly say the same. Could come in my pants just from looking at you," I smile. He tuts and moves his hand to rest over my crotch.   
"Tough luck, Zayn. You're not to come without permission, okay? And right now you don't have it," he whispers. He tilts my head and places kisses a long my jaw. "Because I don't want anyone else to see how gorgeous you look when you come. My eyes only, right?"   
"Yes," I gasp. "Only for you to see."  
"Good," he grins, moving his hand away and laughing when I whine. "Patience, darling. We'll get to that later." 

I'm definitely looking forward to that.


	43. Chapter 43

Therapy goes well; we work through anything we're unsure of and my legs don't go numb from kneeling. 

"Is there anything you've really wanted to try but are scared to?" Liam asks while we're sat there, our counsellor, Nick, observing the way we act together.   
"I am intrigued by using hot wax but obviously it's kind of scary," I shrug. "I think caning might be a good punishment. Sounding is something that I've always thought about but the idea of actually having something -y'know," I blush. Liam chuckles and runs a hand through my hair.   
"We'll put them as a soft limit then, yes? Have you ever tried breath play?"  
"Yeah. My old boyfriend and I figured out a way to show it was too much so there wasn't much danger."  
"Do you like it?"  
"Yeah. It's nice having to trust you. Literally put my life in your hands and then when I don't die, it always shows that obviously I'm safe."  
"That's good. I'd never let you get close to dying though." I nod and kiss his palm.   
"I know," I smile. He presses his thumb against my mouth and I look at him confused until he parts my lips and pushes his thumb further inside. My eyes flitter over to Nick but he seems to have busied himself with printing our contract. 

"You like doing stuff where you know someone might see you, hey?" Liam grins as I suck on his thumb. I nod my head, feeling my cheeks heat up. "God you're beautiful. C'mon. We have lunch now so you can meet Louis."

"He's Harry's Dom right?" I ask.   
"Yeah. How do you know Harry?" We get up and take our contracts before leaving to walk to the lunch hall.  
"I introduced myself in the line before lesson."  
"Good. Want you to have friends here. Especially Harry. He seems like he'll need someone to be here and if he's new he probably won't trust Louis much."  
"Yeah. I hope he's okay," I frown. He kisses in between my eyebrows and I relax my face.   
"Works like magic," he winks. "I'm sure louis is handling him fine. He has us to help him. And his dad."  
"What's his dad have to do with this?"  
"His step-dad is the headmaster. By the way, y'know when you move in with me?"  
"Yeah."  
"I live around the corner from the school. It's still on the grounds but I have my own house, a gift from Louis and his dad. Louis does too so we'll live like thirty seconds away from each other."  
"That's cool."

A few minutes later I start to think about home and I think of my sisters.   
"Li?"  
"Yes baby?"  
"Am I allowed to be in contact with my family?"  
"Of course," he smiles. "You're not having your own phone but we have the computer at mine and you can use my phone to call them. We'll get their numbers sorted into my contacts later, okay? And then we can phone them. Or Skype them."  
"Can we Skype? I'm sure they'll want to see you," I laugh. "They're nosy buggers." Liam smiles and nods his head.   
"Of course we can. And then we can Skype my mum and you can meet her, okay?"  
"Sounds good."

Over the next few days we get more comfortable with each other and Liam is lovely. He isn't mean and he doesn't really assert his dominance over me unless we're in the bedroom. We have certain rules that are mainly about me being polite and respectful so I don't mind too much. 

 

It's a few weeks later and Louis and Harry haven't been getting on recently. It's horrible to witness really but Liam and I are trying our best to help. Louis seems a bit strict but Harry isn't willing to comply to anything he wants at all really. 

 

It's when Louis and Harry a re back together; after Louis has taken his tests again. They've just left and I'm washing the dishes when Liam comes up behind me and wraps his arms around ,y waist. He kisses my neck and frowns against my shoulder. 

"Stop worrying," Liam whispers, "they'll be fine."  
"I know. I just want everything to work out."  
"You're really tense. Go take your clothes off and lie on our bed. You think you can relax for me?"  
"Yeah," I nod rushing to our room. "What're we doing?"  
"I think I might spank you for a little and then maybe give you a massage. How's that sound?"  
"I'm so spoilt," I grin, stripping my shirt. 

This will be fun.


	44. Chapter 44

"Good boy," Liam praises when he walks in the room. The bed at my feet dips and I brace myself for the first smack. But all that comes is a light hand on my thigh. 

"Do you want to wear a plug while I do this?"  
"Yes, please."  
"You want your favourite?" The fact he knows which is my favourite is something I find so cute.  
"Please." 

I can hear him shuffling about in the corner of the room and he comes back and rests the plug and lube on my back. 

"Are you okay?"   
"Mhm. Hurry up?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Please hurry up?" I correct myself. He laughs and pinches the back of my thigh. 

"Patience, love."

Liam opens the lube and drizzles it over his fingers. I jump at the first touch against my hole but he gives me time to relax and works up to pushing one finger in slowly, and then back out. Liam's fingers a thick and know how to work me well. 

He stretches me just enough for the plug and slides that in gently before kissing the base of my spine.   
"Good. Now do you have something to ask me?"  
"Will you spank me?"  
"You don't sound so enthusiastic," he sighs. I whine, pushing my bum into the air.   
"Please. Spank me please, Liam. I need you to make my arse red."  
"Do you want to cry?"  
"Not this time, no." He rubs his hands over my legs and then his right hand is gone. 

I whimper when he first smacks me. It's not too hard, his hand cupped to soften the blow. But I know he'll work me up until my bum is a bright red and I'm begging to come. 

When he hits me, it jolts the plug and create a delicious friction against my prostate. The force he hits me with is enough to push me into the mattress and it rubs my dick into the sheets. 

I love this kind of play.   
"Getting warmer," Liam grins, pushing his thumbs into my skin as he massages against the pain. I groan, deep and low in my throat as he digs his thumbs in more.   
"Li-" I gasp.   
"Okay?"  
"Can I come?"  
"Anytime. Then I'll give you a massage." 

The rhythm he keeps edges me closer to my tipping point and then he uses one hand to spread my cheeks. And uses the other to land one harsh smack directly on the plug. 

I moan, toes curling and muscles tightening as I come, rutting against my bed sheets.   
"My fantastic boy," Liam praises. He rolls me over and places a kiss to my lips. "Did you enjoy that?"   
"Yes. Thank you," I smile, pushing myself up to kiss him again. "It was lovely and all but I highly doubt this plug will be comfortable for much longer." 

Liam nods and pushes my legs back up. He pulls it out slowly and kisses my knee before lowering them back down.   
When I'm drifting off, Liam picks up my foot and starts to rub into the muscles firmly, relaxing anything too tense. He moves down to my calf and up to my thigh, repeating the pattern on my other leg. He skims his hands over my stomach and rubs around my neck and down my shoulders, loosening the muscles in my arms. 

He rolls me over, my eyes lids drooping and my brain closed off. He repeats everything he has but this time he digs his fingers into the knots of my back and shoulders   
"Night Zayn."  
"Night Li," I mumble. 

He tucks us in to bed and kisses my forehead before he turns off the light and settles to sleep with me. 

Yeah- Liam's hands are definitely in my top 5 favourite things about him.


	45. Chapter 45

*Harry's point of view*

I wake up warm and surrounded by Louis. The room is yellow and glowing, sunlight shining through the curtains. Louis is snoring softly with his head on my chest and his arms around me. I roll over and remove the arm from under me to prevent his arm hurting when he wakes up. 

"Haz?" He mumbles.  
"Hmm?"  
"Y'okay?"  
"Yeah. Are you?" I run my hands over his hair.  
"'M great. We need to get ready for class."  
"I'll go turn the shower on, get the water warm."  
"Thanks, babe. Remember, wear your boxers only." I nod and climb out of bed, grabbing a pair of boxers and making my way into the bathroom. I set out Louis' blazer and school shirt before he walks in and he smiles, bringing me in for a kiss. 

"So wonderful." I smile and let him pull me closer. "Thank you for doing this for me. I know you were scared last time. But now it's just you in your boxers, yeah?"  
"Yeah. I'll just concentrate on you. Like no one else is there."  
"I should hope your mind isn't anywhere else," he teases before nudging me towards the shower. "We're meeting Zayn and Liam before we go to class."  
"Is Zayn feeling any better?"  
"Much. I think he just had a 24 hour thing, really."

He helps me strip off and we get into the shower. I wash myself this time but Louis refuses to let me wash my own hair, so I let him deranged my curls and then we get out; get dry and get dressed.  
"It's cold," I complain.  
"Th heating will be on in the classroom. Okay?" I nod and tuck myself into his side for now.

Louis wraps me in a blanket while we eat breakfast and brings a bag with clothes in just in case. 

We meet Zayn and Liam outside their house and walk down together, battering between us. 

When we arrive, there's a line of boys all naked. One boy; a lad I don't like has a chastity belt on. No one seems to be bothered though.

Maybe I really overreacted last time. 

Mr. Johnson grins and hugs me when I reach the door.  
"I'm proud of you, Harry." I blush, eyes glued to the floor as Louis leads me inside. We sit in a circle; everyone on a chair for once. 

"Now. Every Dom was instructed to bring something. I want you to put that or demonstrate that on your sub. We'll start with Jason and work our way to Harry." I watch wide-eyed as people are trussed up in beautiful patterns with rope. Some simply get nipple clamps. A few lads take their last piece of clothing off and no one is fazed. Maybe this isn't such a big deal. 

When it's my go, I bite at my lip and gaze up at Louis. 

"Kneel." I slip out my chair and kneel at Louis' feet, waiting for the surprise. 

And surprised I am- Louis' gentle fingers working quickly. My jaw is tugged down and something is pushed into my mouth. Louis pulls the straps back and around my head. When he pulls away I look up. We've never done this before. It's a yes on my contract but I thought we'd use it alone not in front of our class. 

"You okay, darling?" He asks, soft hands cupping my face. I whimper, the heavy ball in my mouth unfamiliar. I bite down and I'm pleased to find it has a bit of give so I don't hurt my teeth. I nod and close my eyes, resting my head on his knee. 

"I want you to know how to colour. Okay?" With a nod as a sign of my understanding, he continues. "Green is just a thumbs up. Yellow is a clap. Red is you kicking or banging on the floor because it'll get my attention quicker. Purple you can just tap me and tug on the gag okay?" I nod and show him a thumbs up. He leans down and kisses the gag. I whine and push forward but find myself unable to kiss him. I frown around the weight in my mouth and Louis makes a sympathetic noise. 

This time, when he leans down, Louis kisses my cheek which good enough. I can actually feel his lips which was my main concern. 

"Good," Mr. Johnson nods, eyes trailing over the class. He rests his eyes on me. "Louis. Would you and Harry come to the front of the class?" 

Louis looks at me questioningly. I sigh and show him my thumbs up and he grins, pulling me up to walk with him. 

"Harry here, isn't used to this. So I expect this lesson will be a tad unusual, yes?" I nod my head, only looking at the floor. "Perhaps stripping you down more will help you become more comfortable with being naked around others, Mr. Styles?" 

I shake my head. This time glaring up at Mr. Johnson. Louis' hands find their way to my boxers and he looks at me hesitantly.  
"C'mon, Jason is a dick and we see him all the time," he jokes. I laugh and close my eyes as he tugs them down to my ankles. My hands travel to cover my dick. 

"None of that, lovey. Move your hands." I keep my eyes closed as I move my arms to my sides. "Good. Are you okay?" 

I try to ask for the blindfold but all that comes out is a bunch of garbled letters.  
"What's up love?" I take his hands and cover my eyes with them. "Ah. You want your blindfold?" I nod my head, almost frantic by now. He hushes me and slips the soft cloth over my eyes. 

"Perfect. Scared everyone else here wants you too. I think I'll have a bit of competition," he whispers in my ear. "Colour?" My thumbs up is all he needs before he pushes me to kneel. 

The exposure and trust I have to put in Louis are making my head feel fuzzy and free. 

"Good boy. Being such a well behaved lad. Think I'm going to reward you when we get home." 

At this point I'm so focused on Louis we may as well be the only two in the room. But sir talks again, giving us permission to sit back in our seats. I opt to kneel though and Louis runs his hands through my hair. 

"So fucking proud, Harry." I nod and hum around the gag. "Gorgeous. My gorgeous boy aren't you?" I make a small, happy noise and rest my head against Louis again. 

By the sounds of it, a few other people do it. I know Zayn does. I can hear people being spanked around me and I whimper, biting on the gag.  
"Colour darling?" I clap and jump when Louis pulls me to sit on his knee. "Just me, baby. I know it's not a nice sound but it's not a punishment spanking. It's just for Zaynie who loves it. Yeah? You can ask him in a minute but for now let's just stay calm, yeah?" I nod and frown as I feel a drop of water on my stomach.  
"So pretty. Got such a big gag that you're drooling." I feel my face heat up as Louis makes no move to help my situation. But I'm okay. It's not gonna kill me. I guess it's more for the embarrassment factor. 

I hear the chairs next us shift and Zayn whimper as he sits down. Or I'm guessing that's what happens.  
"Zayn. Harry wants to know if you liked it or whether it hurt," Louis says since I can't.  
"I get off on pain, Harry you know that. How many times did you hear me being spanked when you stayed at ours?" I shrug and nod my head since I can't communicate with anything besides my body.  
"Better now, baby?" Louis asks, running his hands down my sides. I nod and rest my head against him. I think it's his chest but I wouldn't know. 

That's what I like about this, I guess. I don't know what I am doing and Louis is the one who has the chance to let me injure myself but he cares for me and never lets me out his sight when I have this on. I'm clumsy at he best of times, never mind being blinded. And the gag. It's new. And I can't ask for anything so I have to trust Louis enough to not overstep it. 

That's what everything comes back to honestly: Louis. Being so close now is making my head blurrier and I feel like I weigh a ton but I weigh nothing at the same time. 

"Baby?" Louis asks after a while, muffled by the fog around me. I make a noise but don't make a move. "You okay, Haz?" I nod and wrap my arms around him tighter. He tugs the gag out of my mouth and massages the ache in my jaw away before he speaks again. 

"How do you feel?" It takes me a moment to answer but I do.  
"Fuzzy. Warm." Louis feels solid and great against my side and I whine when he stands me up. 

"Louis?" Mr. Johnson. That's sir.  
"Haz has gone under." There's a few gasps around the room and they talk about something I can't hear.  
"Would you like to go home or bring him up in the private room?"  
"Home. He's never gone under this easily."

I make a noise when someone tugs on my arm.  
"Gonna go home love?" I don't answer but he drapes a blanket around my shoulders anyway and he helps me get my boxers back on.  
"Don't want you to be too cold. Blindfold off?" He does it before I have the chance to answer and I blink away the blur in my eyes and look around the class. Few people are watching but they don't matter right now. I tuck my head into Louis' shoulder and kiss his neck. 

"Love you."  
"Love you, Haz." We walk through the yard and to Louis' house. 

He tucks me into bed and puts on the Big Bang Theory for me to watch. Louis gets in beside me and cuddles into me.  
"You're fucking astounding, Harry. You still fuzzy?" I nod my head slowly. "You not going to come up and speak to me? I want to see you."

A few minutes later and the fog has cleared and I'm left calm and loose.  
"Hello," Louis whispers, kissing my lips. I smile into the kiss and drape myself over Louis' chest.  
"That was- wow." Louis huffs a laugh and nods.  
"It was. You amaze me Harry. Every single day. I didn't expect you to go under just from that."  
"It's not bad that I did right?" I frown.  
"Of course not," Louis rushes. "It's great. You're great. I believe that I had a surprise for you. Isn't that right?" I nod and watch as he gets out of bed and goes out of the room. When he comes back he has the item hidden behind his back.  
"Though you might want to try out the inflatable plug?" I gasp at the sight of it. I chose it. My head moves up and down before I even know what I'm doing and I can feel my head getting fuzzier again. 

I roll onto my front and tuck my legs under me, my face pushed into the pillows as of Louis' request. I flinch when I feel the first touch of his fingers, wet and cold against my hole.  
"Just relax darling. Won't be fun if you don't relax." 

His fingers are persistent and he works one in slowly, stretching me carefully. He avoids my prostate which makes me whine but he just shushes me and continues to prepare me for the plug.  
"Four fingers will be okay right?" He asks and right now, it feels so good that I'd happily take another finger.  
"Yes. Green." I whimper when he slips his pinky in and clench down but I breathe through it and manage to relax enough for him to move in and out with small movements. 

"So greedy," he teases, other hand tracing my skin where I'm stretched around his fingers. I shudder, the whole thing so dirty but so fucking perfect. 

I push myself back to meet him when he thrusts his fingers in and out, finally letting his fingers brush against my prostate.  
"Lou. Louis. Please," I whine. He pats my bum and pulls his fingers out slowly. I whimper a sad little noise and he laughs. 

"Gonna fill you up now, don't you worry." the plug doesn't meet any resistance with how well Louis stretched me and even the widest part doesn't hurt, just simply pushes in. Though I know the size will change in a moment. 

"Ready?" I nod rapidly and gasp, my breath completely taken away when he squeezes the pump and fills the plug with air. It's just that much closer to my prostate. "Good?"  
"Incredible," I mutter, mouth heavy again and the fog from earlier starts to return. He squeezes it again and I groan, biting down on my pillow. 

"So good. Gonna fill it up a bit more and you have to tell me if it's too much, okay?"  
"Yes." He squeezes it twice quickly and my mouth opens in a silent scream. I never thought screaming would be necessary in bed but I've never felt anything like this before. "Keep going. Please." 

He does it again and moves his hand to my stomach pushing on my abs.  
"Lou. Louis. Holy shit! What?!-"  
"It's okay. One more and I'll stop. Colour?"  
"Green. I'm green," I slur and Louis presses a kiss to my back before he squeezes it again and it knocks into my prostate properly now and I gasp, coming all over my own chest. 

I squirm as Louis turns me over and licks up my come.  
"Love you," I whine.  
"I know you do. I love you too," he smiles but I don't think he gets the point.  
"I love you," I say more pointedly and he just kisses me this time. 

I stay as still as I can, careful not to jolt the plug too much while I get comfy. Louis gets me to drink a glass of water and have an energy bar before he allows me to sleep. 

 

When I wake up I'm clearheaded again and Louis is next to me still, scrolling through a website in his laptop.  
"Hi Lou," I mumble, tucking. My head into his neck.  
"Hey baby. You feel okay?"  
"Yes. That was great."  
"You looked out of this world." I kiss him and sit up, groaning when the plug pushes deeper.  
"I can take it out of you like?" He offers.  
"No. It's nice. I-I-" I trail off and shrug.  
"Just tell me babe."  
"I like being full," I admit, my face heating up considerably.  
"Well then," Louis grins. "We'll make sure it happens more often. 

I breathe out a sigh of relief and nod, staying tucked into his side.  
"Thank you. For every thing. You've changed since we got back together and I know it hasn't been long but we're doing well."  
"Good change?" Louis asks.  
"Good change," I laugh and kiss his pout away.  
"Good. You've changed too. A lot more open to new things. More cuddly and soppy," he teases. I shake my head as I giggle.  
"I think we both know you're the soppy one."  
"Whatever you say, Haz." 

We stay cuddled up the rest of the day, only leaving bed to go the toilet or have food. We watch telly and shop a bit online for thins we probably don't really need but want anyway. 

"C'mon. Let me take this plug out. You did really well to had it in all day." I huff and roll over. Louis spreads a little lube around the edges and pulls it out gently. I don't know why he didn't deflate it but when he shows me, saying how proud he is that I took that much, I know why. It's big. Bigger than I would've attempted. I guess the fear is irrational. 

"That's bigger than I thought. God I can't believe I did that," I laugh, dragging a hand down my face.  
"You'll be able to take more soon, he promises. And that doesn't scare me for once. 

When we're tucked up in bed later on there's a knock on the door and I frown when Louis gets out.  
"Put some clothes on. It's probably Zayn or Liam." I huff and stand up, throwing a pair of pyjama pants on and an old band t shirt. 

"Haz come down," Louis shouts. I sigh and look in the mirror. I have love bites all over my neck. When did that happen? When I was under I'm guessing. 

My heart stops when I walk into the living room. 

"Gem! Ni!" The two grin and rush up for a hug. I stand dumbfounded. 

"We brake up tomorrow Harry and I know you're not going home so I thought I'd bring home to you." 

I can feel my eyes getting wet and I cling on to Gemma and Niall for dear life.  
"I've missed you. God, I've missed you," Gemma laughs wetly. Niall moves away to talk to Louis and I continue to hold Gemma as we both cry. 

"I'm so sorry, Haz. I didn't know mum was sending you away. She told me just before and I couldn't stop her. "  
"It's okay. Gem, this is the best hung to happen to me." 

Gemma pulls back and wipes her cheeks and I do the same. She looks over my face.  
"I'm glad you're happy here."

"Right, who wants a cuppa?" Louis asks once we're all sat down. I stand up and go into the kitchen with him once we have given our requests. 

I wrap my arms around him, resting my head against his back.  
"You're insane. You're fucking amazing!"  
"Language Harry," he warns but he isn't threatening.  
"Sorry Lou. Thank you so much. I can't believe it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I squeal, squeezing him tightly.  
"You're very welcome baby. But you're still getting spanked for swearing. For now though I think we should sit and let me get to know Niall and Gemma."  
"I can't thank you enough. Thank you so much," I repeat, voice shaky and thick with unshed tears. 

Louis turns around in my arms and cups my face, directing me to look at him.  
"Happy tears, right?"  
"Yeah. Very happy tears," I grin, wiping my eyes.  
"Good. Go and give them their drinks then, I'll bring ours in." I kiss him again and bite his lip gently. 

Niall and Gemma are sat on the couch, looking kind of unsure of what to do.  
"Do you want the telly on?" I ask as I place their drinks on the coffee table in front of them.  
"Why not?" Niall smiles and grabs the remote to put something good on. 

"So you really like it here?" Gemma asks, looking rather concerned.  
"I don't know what you know about this school but it's done so much for me. I didn't like it at first but now? I don't think I could survive without it. Without Lou." I jump when I hear a throat clearing at the door and I find a smirking Louis stood watching us. I feel my cheeks heating up and I squeak when he pokes my nose. 

"Told you you are the soppiest," he grins.  
"Oh shut up," I laugh. Louis sits next to Niall to allow me and Gemma our talking time. 

"I don't know anything about this school. Explain?"  
"It's erm- a BDSM school."  
"Like kinky sex shit, school?" I huff out a laugh and scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.  
"Yeah. God I never thought I'd be having a conversation like this with my sister."  
"So who out of you two is the dominant? That's what it's called right?"  
"Louis is," I murmur, my hands far more interesting than this conversation to me.  
"Oh. Did you know about what they did here before you came?"  
"No. It was a bit of a surprise."  
"Harry tried to escape. He kept hiding in the trees."  
"Yeah, yeah," I frown. "I didn't try to escape. Just hid for a bit."

"So what do you call yourself?"  
"What? I'm a sub." She nods and looks at my collar.  
"I like your necklace," Gemma smiles. "L for Louis?"  
"Yeah."  
"Are you not going to tell Gemma what we call that?"  
"I-it's my collar," I mumble.  
"Good boy," Louis grins.

"Haz you know this doesn't bother me, right? I've signed up for a school like this but it has boys and girls."  
"Oh. Nice."  
"So if you want to give me any details about stuff that happens it may help me prepare for doing it myself."  
"Do you want to be a dom or sub?"  
"I don't know. I want to try both. I take a test in a week which shod tell what is most suited for me."  
"I think you'd be a good dom," Niall interjects.  
"Thanks, Ni."

After a while of normal conversation Gemma looks confused and stares at me.  
"Do you get punished?"  
"Yes," I groan not really wanting to talk to Gemma about this.  
"How?"  
"I usually just spank him," Louis shrugs. "We can do other things through I doubt Harry would want me to say." Gemma pouts. 

"Haz just tell me," she sighs.  
"I can be put in a c-co-ock cage," I stutter.  
"I may sound dumb. What's that do?"  
"Stops Harry from getting hard or having the chance of orgasm."  
"I think that's enough juicy details for now," I huff and slump back into my chair.  
"Haz, don't be rude," Louis warns.  
"Sorry. What do you want to know?"

"This'll be my last question for today. What's your favourite sexual thing you've done so far?"  
"Louis flogged me," I grin. "But then we've played with toys and stuff that always makes it amazing. Hard to choose really."  
"What toys do you have?" I groan as I continue to answer questions through the night. 

 

"Night guys. Thanks for coming down. It means a lot," I grin and hug them enforce they go to the guest bedrooms. 

I join Louis in our room and kiss him gently on the cheek. He grins at me and motions for to take my clothes off. I do and gold them into a pile.  
"Good boy. Now how about that spanking you need?"


	46. Chapter 46

"How do you feel about using a hairbrush?"  
"It's a yes on my contract," I whisper, holding his hand tighter.   
"You added a lot didn't you?"  
"Yeah. Can we sit and go through them soon? Just so we know what we can do now."  
"Of course darling."  
"Yes. The hairbrush is fine. I'm just worried about Niall and Gemma hearing."  
"They understand. It'll be fine. You trust me?"  
"Completely," I surrender.   
"Good. Go fetch me the hairbrush from the bathroom." 

I know why he has me retrieve it for him. It's so I know it's my choice. It's the fact I'm giving him the weapon he'll hurt me with. It's total submission; a sign of me giving everything up to him. And I never thought that'd mean much to me but I've changed. For the better. 

"Lie as usual." I situate myself over his lap and rest my head on my arms. "Good boy. Thank you. Five for swearing. And another five for being rude before."

I know better than to argue against it now unless I think it's unjust . If I was rude then I should have the punishment. Fine by me.   
"Remember your colours. You're never punished for safe wording."   
"Yes. Green." 

The first smack is hard and I cry out, trying to grab at the sheets unsuccessfully. He hits it down again on the other cheek.   
"I'm sorry," I whimper.   
"I know. Just making sure you know you were bad. But you're good. My good boy." 

I hear a knock on the door but Louis is too busy to notice. 

He smacks me three more times quickly. Five. Halfway done. I don't even notice I'm crying until Louis mentions it.

"Nearly done. Want me to space them out or get them over with?"  
"Quick. Please," I sniffle as he rubs his hands over my red bum.   
"Okay." 

He doesn't hold back; hitting me harder than before and lands five harsh smacks to my already sore bottom. I sob into my arms as he pushes me forward to lie on our bed. 

"Such a good boy Haz."   
"Louis," I cry. He shushes me and then we hear muttering at the door. I turn to look and there is Gem. Her eyes are wide and she is staring at Louis.   
"I- uhm. I'm sorry," she mumbles and walks out. 

Then I cry harder, knowing that my sister has just witnessed me being spanked.   
"It's okay baby. It's fine," Louis soothes but I'm hysterical now. He sighs and goes into the bathroom. 

When he comes back I haven't calmed down much so he just sits behind me and rubs soothing cream into my stinging skin. He continues to whisper kind words but I carry on sobbing into our pillows. 

Louis pulls the covers back and manoeuvres me to lie properly and pulls the blanket over me.   
"I'm going to talk to Gem. If you need me shout." He kisses my shoulder as a good bye and I cry more when he leaves.

I need him for comfort right now. Why is he going to see Gemma?

A few minutes later he comes back in but this time Gemma is with him.   
"Haz?"   
"Leave me alone," I hiccup.   
"Harry." Louis' voice is stern and I quiet down to listen to his request. "You are going to work yourself up, Haz."   
"I want a bath."  
"Okay. Easily done. Now let's not be silly."  
"I'm not. My sisters just watched me being spanked. Too much of that in one day."

I sigh when he sits beside me and rests a hand on my back.  
"Now. Gemma will go out while you go into the bathroom. You can turn the bath on and then we can go and introduce Gemma and Niall to Zayn and Liam. Okay?"   
"I just want a bath and to go to sleep," I mumble.   
"Fine. You may go to sleep while we have cake at Liam and Zayn's."  
"Fine," I snap and shuffle away from his touch. He sighs and I can hear the door opening and closing. 

"Gemma's gone. She just wants to apologise for walking in. Talk to you about what it's like."  
"I don't want to talk about it. I want all of my firsts to just be with you. I didn't get that with the gag either. That wasn't too bad but a punishment? No one should see that- especially Gemma."  
"Oh, Harry." As he walks closer to me I stand up and waddle to the bathroom to put the bath on. 

Louis follows me in and sits on the toilet seat.   
"Are you okay?"  
"Fine," I spit.   
"You clearly aren't. I shall leave you to calm down while we go to Zayn and Liam's. You can obviously come over if you want." He stands and pushes me against the counter. I lean my head against his. Just being in his arms calms me down considerably. 

"I'm sorry. Can you stay and have a bath with me and then I'll talk to Gemma and we can go over to Li's?"  
"Yes. Just get in while I tell the other two." 

I turn on the cold tap and pour a bit of bubble bath in. When the water is the right temperature I climb in and close my eyes. 

"Happy now?" Louis muses from the door. I open my eyes and smile lazily.   
"Yes. Very much so. Now are you going to join me?" Louis rolls his eyes and begins to strip off. 

Louis dresses me in a pair of panties that I haven't worn in a while.   
"Beautiful," he compliments. He helps me tug a pair of joggers on and pulls a t shirt over my head. 

 

"Hi," Gemma frowns.   
"Hi. I'm sorry you had to see that. Maybe we should lock the door next time." Louis laughs and pulls me into his lap. I wince at harsh pressure on my skin and he shushes me, holding my hands in his.   
"It's fine," she promises. "I was more curious than anything and y'know after how we grew up, its just hard to see you get hurt again." Her eyes flicker to Louis, cautious about what she's saying.   
"He knows, Gemma. He knows it all."  
"Oh." 

"Again," she starts after a moment. "I am really sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. I don't think badly of you, Haz. It just makes me more curious."  
"If you need anything it's not anymore curiosity," I joke. "Ask away," I shrug. 

"Really?"  
"Yeah. You saw it, you may as well know the details," I mumble.   
"Oh. Well, why were you being punished?"  
"Because I swore and I was rude to you earlier."  
"How many hits did you get?"  
"Only ten. But I've never had it with a hairbrush so it was a bit more intense than usual."   
"It hurt a lot then?"  
"Quite a bit, yes."   
"You let him though?"

I blush and nod my head, fiddling with a loose thread on my shirt.   
"He puts me in my place when no one else will. I like him having that power over me."  
"Okay. I think that's enough questions. I'm scared your face will stay permanently red," Gemma teases.   
"Hey," I whine as Gemma, Niall and Louis laugh at my expense. 

"C'mon then lovely, lets go to Zayn and Liam's."


	47. Chapter 47

Niall opens up more when he meets Zayn and Liam, always more willing to talk when there are more people. Gemma gets on with everyone thankfully but I'm still slightly moody so I sit back and watch everyone's conversation. 

Louis tried to engage me in the conversation but due to going under twice in a day and the earlier events of my punishments, I'm rather tired.   
"What's up with you now?" Louis asks.   
"Just a bit tired," I shrug and rest my head on his shoulder.   
"Go to sleep. I'll be here."  
"I want to sleep all the way through tonight. I'll manage to stay awake." He smiles and agrees, kissing my temple. 

I avoid eye contact with Liam and Zayn. They were there in class today. They saw me naked, gagged and blindfolded.   
"I want to go home." Louis furrows his eyebrows and licks his lips.   
"You feeling okay?"   
"Yeah. Just don't want to be around anyone."  
"Either there is a reason for this or you just want to be alone. And something tells me it's not the latter. Spill."  
"I want to go home, Louis." 

My eyes feel wet and blurry and I guess I'm just in one of them moods were everything upsets me. 

"Okay, babe. No reason to get upset. Okay? Lets go home." He helps me up and we say goodbye to Liam and Zayn. 

 

"You go upstairs and I'll be with you in a moment. Say goodnight to Niall and Gemma." 

"Night Ni, night Gem," I mumble hugging both of them.   
"It's good to see you again, Harry," Gemma smiles.   
"Night, Haz." 

I walk into our room and tuck myself in on my side of the bed, cuddling down into the pillow. Louis smiles at me when he walks in.   
"You're cute."  
"Thanks," I yawn. 

He wanders around the room, sorting a few things out before he turns off the light and gets in next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He rests, his head on my back and kisses my shoulder blades. 

"What's wrong?" Louis whispers and moves his head back so he's more comfortable.   
"It's just embarrassing. Liam and Zayn saw me naked today. God - the things I did in front of them today are horrific."  
"The things you did were amazing," he corrects. "You saw other people naked and tied up. Paul had a chastity belt on for Christ's sake! Nothing you did was bad. Everyone is used to it, thought you were really good. Everyone was impressed. You amazed every single person in that room. Including me." I sigh and close my eyes nodding. 

"Yeah," I sigh. "Yeah. That's what matters," I say more confidently. "I love you Lou."  
"I love you Haz. Now go to sleep and we'll have pancakes in the morning." 

After such a long day, sleep comes easily.


	48. Chapter 48

In the morning I'm woken up by Louis setting something heavy down on the bedside table.

"Lou?"

"Morning, baby," he grins, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my lips. "I said we'd have pancakes so here are your pancakes."

On the tray there is a cup of tea, a stack of pancakes with fruit and honey and a yogurt next to it. "Thanks, Louis," I smile, patting the bed next to me. He sits next to me and takes his own tray off of the chair next to the bed and turns the telly on.

"It's meant to snow soon."

"I love the snow," I grin. "As long as I'm not in it too long."

"Well I'm not too fond of being cold either so I think we can agree on staying in more."

"Yeah. What're we doing today?" "I was thinking we could go out shopping. Get Christmas shopping done early."

"I don't have money to buy you anything," I pout.

"I have more than enough money for the both of us," he reassured. "Now eat up because it'll be busy. And we need to go to Asda too. Do our food shop."

Our food shop. My heart clenches and fingers feel tingly at the mention of us being so- _together_. "D'you know what we need?" "Yeah, the lists downstairs." I nod and begin to eat my food.

Its lovely, Louis' food always is. I murmur with appreciation and Louis laughs as he eats his.

"It's good then?"

"Great," I grin.

We get dressed, Louis picking my clothes out for me. A pair of jeans with rips in the knees and a black t shirt that he makes me layer with a blue, plaid button up.

"You like it?" He asks. He always checks in case I really want to change but I like the clothes he picks for me and it makes it more special that _Louis_  chose them.

"Yeah. Can I have the blue beanie on? I can't be bothered to do my hair."

"You mean you don't want _me_ to do your hair and of course you can. Now come on, you need to do your inhalers and then brush your teeth."

I blush as he gives me my medicine, refusing for me to do it myself and he gives me instructions on when to breathe in and out and how many times. "Y'know I've done this my whole life," I pout.

"You told me you don't take them anymore," he quips. I look at the floor. He's right.

 

Gemma and Niall are downstairs by the time we come down.

"Hey, I was thinking I'll go shopping with Louis and you and Niall can go shopping together to have a catch up on your own." "But-" Gemma frowns at me. "I wouldn't know what I'm not allowed to buy."

"Buy whatever you want. You can call Gemma or me on Niall's phone if needs be, okay?" Louis resolves. "Okay," I nod.

"We'll have lunch later and then we can swap partners and me and you can shop for our kind of things," he grins watching my cheeks flush pink.                  "Yeah. that- that sounds good."

"I'd be interested in seeing what you guys buy," Niall interrupted. I shake my head.

"No. That's for me and Louis," I refuse.

"Hey, if he's curious, he's curious. He doesn't know what we've used and haven't. I've have loads of stuff in our play room that I had before you, yeah? It was fully stocked for when I got my sub. **Thankfully,** that was you. So I'll let Niall snoop but if he wants to ask a question I'll answer him. If he wants you to tell him how a certain thing felt he may ask. You don't have to answer him. Does that sound okay?"

"Fine," I sulk.

 

Louis lets me pout until we get to the shops and grabs me by my throat. My breath hitches and my eyes flutter closed at the public display of power.

"Don't be a brat. Enjoy your time with Niall and then we can meet up later." His thumb rests over my Adam's apple, proving how easy it would be for him to cut of my air all together. His face comes closer and warm breaths puff out onto my lips.

"Kiss me. Please," I whisper, voice shaky and quiet. He complies and presses his lips against mine.

When it stays slow, I push forward and gasp for breath as his hand tightens and makes me struggle for breath. He lets go rather quickly so I don't panic and kisses me gently, fingers soothing over the skin on my neck.

And then he's gone. My head is spinning and Niall grabs my arm to shake me out of my reverie.

"You okay?" Niall asks.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." _I'm praying that I'm not hard._ "C'mon where do you want to go first?"


	49. Chapter 49

"If you don't want me to look around your play room, I won't," Niall says as we look through a rack of shirts in Topman.  
"I'll look with you. I'd rather that than Louis talk about everything. Even I haven't looked at all of it. Louis can answer any questions you want to ask about the purpose of some things."  
"Why don't you both come?" He smiles, grabbing a top from the rail. "You can stop him from answering some questions and he'll encourage you to answer. Win, win."

"I suppose. I'll ask at lunch. Why are you so interested in this anyway?"  
"My dads recommending it to me. Apparently he got his life sorted out when he started all of this. He used to have anxiety and since he started this it's helped a lot."  
"It hasn't helped mine much," I sigh, grabbing a shirt for Louis. 

"Once you get really settled for a while, I'm sure it will."  
"I hope so. So if you're interested, you wouldn't mind if I bought something a bit more personal would you?"  
"No, it's fine. What do you have in mind?" I blush, looking at the floor.   
"Just follow me and don't talk to me while I'm in the shop," I mutter as we pay for our things and he happily obliges as we walk into a women's shop. I walk with Niall on my trail, over to the lingerie section. 

I run my hands over a few things. But then I spot a set I know Louis will love. And I might enjoy too. 

It's black and lacy, like the one of the first pairs of panties I ever wore. It has stockings and garters with it. I bite my lip as I grab the corset that matches too and throw it in the basket. Louis will have a great birthday if I have anything to do with it. 

Niall keeps quiet thankfully and I buy my things and we return to shopping as normal, no mention of what happened. We meet up with Louis and Gemma at KFC and eat our lunch before splitting up into our separate pairs again. 

"Can I see what you bought?" Louis asks.   
"Nope. You'll see on your birthday and Christmas won't you?"  
"Will I?" He grins, linking his fingers awkwardly between my bandaged ones.   
"Mhm. I'm excited to give you it, really. Now come on, what did you want to get?"  
"Nothing specific. Just want to look around, see if there's anything you like. Maybe I'll buy a cane," he muses. I just shrug, looking at the floor. "Wait- you want to try it?" I shrug again and he smiles wider, pulling me along to a shop around the corner. 

"You go look for a punishment thing. I'm getting something I've pre-ordered," he smiles, kissing my head and pushing me in the direction of the impact play things. 

I bite my lip and walk over to the rack of canes. I'm drawn to the classic wooden ones, dark wood like the pine in our play room. I grab my favourite and swipe it through the air to hit my hand. I wince, pulling my hand back and putting the cane by my side. There is a red line on my hand so as I wander round I hold it to my mouth to soothe it. 

"What's up love?" Louis asks when I find him. I frown and hold my hand up to him. He pulls it closer to examine it.   
"You tried out a cane?" I nod and hold up the cane. He chuckles as presses kisses to the marks and takes the cane. "You'll be fine," he smiles. "I've got the other thing so let's buy the cane."  
"Can I look around?" Louis raises his eyebrows but grins and nods his head.   
"Meet me at the till, okay?"

I walk around and grab anything that catches my eye. I'm scared of how the plug shaped as a fist holds my interest. Ignoring it, I carry on looking at the items I've chosen:  
A vibrator, a small ribbed plug; a few things I don't even know what they are but they look rather fun or slightly scary. 

"Bloody hell, love!" Louis laughs when I hand him my things at the till. Have I got too much?  
"I'll go and put them back," I frown but Louis stops me and pulls me closer, shaking his head.   
"No. It's wonderful, I just expected you to be more reserved. How do you know what half of these things do?"  
"I don't," I shrug as the cashier rings them through.   
"Well we'll definitely have fun with them. I'll get them out later and explain them. Maybe we can do that while we show Niall around our play room?"  
"Yeah. Sounds good." 

I turn and look at the plug in the shape of a fist. Why do I want that so badly?   
"Okay, love?" Louis asks.   
"Yeah. 'M fine."  
"You're distracted by something. What is it?"   
"It's nothing," I sigh.   
"Sure doesn't seem like it. Don't keep secrets from me, Harry!" he chastises.   
"'M not keeping a secret!" I persist. Louis shakes his head and thanks the cashier before pulling me out of the shop by my wrist.   
"If you don't tell me-"

"Hi Louis," a young girl interrupts.   
"Oh my god! What're you doing here?"   
"We were going to surprise you but seems like I've spoilt it," she grins. I frown. Who is she? Louis hugs her tightly and kisses her head.   
"I'm so happy to see you," Louis grins when they pull away from their hug.

I stand awkwardly at the side and bite my lip looking around.   
"Oh. I'm sorry. Fizz this is my boyfriend Harry," Louis smiles, pulling me into his side. "This is my younger sister, Fizz." 

She grins up at me and waves.   
"Did you meet at your school?"  
"Yes we did," Louis nods.   
"Who is in charge of who?" I blush and huff a laugh.   
"Louis is in charge of me."  
"Cool! Is he nice to you?"  
"Yes. He's very nice," I smile. 

"Fizz!" Someone calls out. They round the corner and come into view.   
"Louis!" It's a bunch of girls. Wow he has a lot of siblings. 

After a lot of hugs and kisses, Louis tugs on my sleeve.   
"Mum, girls this is Harry. My boyfriend." 

I gasp as I'm pulled into a hug by his mum.   
"It's great to meet you Harry. I'm Jay. This is Charlotte, Fizzy, Daisy, Phoebe, Doris and Ernest." I bend down and coo at the babies in the pram. 

"Lovely to meet you all," I nod, accepting the hugs that the girls give me.   
"You two are together because of your school, right?" Charlotte asks.   
"Yup."  
"Lottie don't even ask it," Louis warns. What will she ask?   
"What's in the bag?" She grins, raising her eyebrows at Louis.   
"Nothing you'd enjoy seeing. Mum," Louis whines. "Tell them."

"Girls don't be nosy," Jay frowns as the girls try to get into our bags. "We've got to go but I'll phone you later Lou. Again, good to meet you."

I let out a breath of relief when they're gone. Louis laughs.   
"They weren't that bad were they?"  
"It's just a lot to take in. We have to go and find Gemma." 

As we walk in thankful for the silence but I know Louis hasn't forgotten about before.   
"When were home you will go to our play room and bring the bags with you. Kneel on the floor. Keep your clothes on. I'm going to show Niall around then off you feel confident enough to tell me what was bothering you, you will tell me. If not you're going to get a chastity belt put on." I shiver and my dick starts to get hard. "So you like that? Maybe we can do both." 

 

The drive home is quite and I quickly rush to do as Louis has instructed when we get home. I place the bags on the bed and kneel next to it. 

Louis comes in a few minutes later with Niall behind him and I blush, looking at the floor.   
"Look up." I make eye contact with Niall and close my eyes. "Babe. Don't be silly," Louis whispers when a tear slips down my cheek. He crouches down to my level and kisses my head. 

"I don't have to do this..." Niall sighs.   
"No. It's fine. Harry has just had a long day. Haven't you babe?" I nod and sniffle, wiping my eyes. "Colour?"  
"I'm green. I'm okay. Just. Give me a minute." He kisses me gently and smiles, standing up and helping me up with him. I rest my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around my shoulder. 

"Sorry Ni," I smile apologetically. He shrugs and wanders over to the bed.   
"I'm not going to sit down," he chuckles awkwardly.   
"Sit on the chair. We've never done anything on that." He smiles gratefully and sits down. 

"So what's you buy together today?"   
"We bought a cane," Louis smiles sitting me on the bed. He takes the things out and lays them out on the bed. "Harry picked a few things out himself and a few he doesn't know what they are so I guess this'll be new for the both of you." 

Louis climbs on the  
Bed and sits cross legged to explain and show us all of the stuff. Turns out I bought a ball stretcher which doesn't sound too bad, a cock ring which has a small bead on for my other end to keep it in place, which I can definitely live with. I accidentally bought an anal stretching kit which sounds far too intimidating. A plug that is attached to a cock ring and ball stretcher. How do people make these things up? An anal hook which Louis says will be good when we try out intricate rope art. I bought a few candles which shocked Louis. 

"No burning though?" He asks.   
"I just don't want like- direct flame contact. A bit of heat is meant to be nice." 

Watching Louis is fun while doing this because it lets me know whether he's pleased with what I've chosen and he always is.   
"Oh my God!" He groans as he pulls one item out. "You bought a cock cage for yourself?" I blush and look at the bed. "It comes with a plug and a sound and a ball clamp? Fuck Harry that's amazing." I smile at the praise and move forward to kiss him gently. 

He explains that I've bought a few things that could introduce a new kind of play into our lives. Puppy play.   
"We can discuss this later, right?" I ask, eyes flitting to Niall who is watching contentedly.   
"Of course lovey." 

 

Louis gasps and bites his lip when he pulls out the last item.   
"You bought a ball crusher." I go red and cover my face with my hands. What am I getting myself in for?   
"How's it work?" Niall asks, apparently intrigued. 

"I'd put Harry's balls in here," Louis smiles pointing to a ring in the device. "Then I can adjust it so it fits and you have this bit to twist and it would literally have the power to crush Haz's balls," he grins. I take a shudders breath in and lie back. 

 

They go through our draws, talking about what I've used and haven't. Sometimes Niall asks how we used it and I just ignore him and tuck myself under the covers of the bed. 

I've just let my friend and boyfriend go through my kinky shit together. I want them to get on but seriously? 

I think about it too much as I always do and I don't realise I'm crying- sobbing when Louis is next to me and is telling Niall to get out. 

"Love you're alright. What's your colour?"   
"I don't know," I cry. "I'm so unsure of everything," I bawl. Louis frowns and nudges me to move over so he can get in with me. I rest my head on his chest as he controls my breathing for me and calms me down. 

"I want you to answer these questions truthfully. Not what you think I want to hear, okay?" I nod my head and sniffle, wrapping my arms around him tighter. 

"Do you enjoy what we do?"  
"Sometimes. I don't like feeling like I'm not equal to you."  
"You tell me if you feel like I've done it and I'll stop okay? I want us to go beyond just BDSM. I want us to last." I bite me lip and my heart skips a bit.   
"So do I."  
"Do you want to have sex with me?"  
"I want you to make love to me."  
"Do you wish to do more scenes?"  
"Yes."  
"Do you trust me?"  
"Yes."  
"With anything?"  
"With my life.   
"Do you love me?"  
"More than anything," I smile.   
"Are you unsure?"  
"No," I grin. "I'm pretty sure about what I want now." Louis laughs and rolls me on top of him, straddling his hips. He pulls me down by my collar and licks his lips.   
"Oh yeah? And what's that?" 

I grin, biting the thumb that runs over my bottom lip.   
"Don't you wish you knew?" I tease and jump off of him, running out of the room. I hear him groan and I giggle to myself, rushing into our room. When I hear Louis walking towards the room I take my top off, shuffling back onto the bed. 

"Well, well, well. Look at you," Louis grins. He knees up the bed and hovers over me. "What is it you want?" 

"Make love to me?"


	50. Chapter 50

"Do you really want to while your friend and sister are downstairs?" Louis grins, pressing his lips against mine.   
"I guess not. You said you'd have to give me an enema before we had sex though?"  
"Yes I would. Wouldn't take too long though."   
"Can we do it soon? When we have a free day, no guests or counselling?"   
"Yes. Sounds lovely. We'll do the whole shebang, candles, flower petals on the bed, romantic bath before hand." I roll my eyes.   
"You don't have anyone to compete with so don't go all out the first time. Then you'll have to top it any other time," I grin.   
"You've never had sex?"   
"No. I've done stuff with girls but that all pales in comparison to the things I've done in my time here."   
"I'm glad. I should hope that I'm the only one you think of in that way. You're certainly the only one on my mind," Louis smiles, dipping down to part my lips with his tongue. 

I push forward to be closer to him and moan into his mouth as our lips move together. His tongue moves slowly, hands cupping my face. 

"God," he whispers. "I fucking love you." I grin, pushing my hips up to meet his and wrap my arms around his neck, making sure there is no space between our bodies. Louis groans, biting my lip. 

We only pull away when we,re gasping for breath but even then we carry on, kissing short and sweet, little love bites on our necks.   
"Want to give you one, right here," Louis grins, stroking his finger in circles over my sternum where my heart is.   
"Go ahead," I smile, kissing him gently before he moves lower down slightly and sucks on my skin, teeth nipping at the red area. 

"God, Lou. I love you so much. Lou," I whine when carries on sucking bruises into my skin. I writhe and whimper, bucking my hips up to grind against Louis. "Louis, please. Want to come," I plead. Louis chuckles and slows down, calming himself and I in the process. His left arm rests across my hips, preventing me from seeking out his touch while he does as he pleases. 

Louis spends a few more minutes creating marks on my chest, making sure they're dark before he sits up and smiles down at me.   
"Masterpiece." I look down at my chest, going cross eyed while doing so but I can make out what he's done.   
"A heart? Seriously? Who's the soppy one now? Mr. Let's-have-petals-and-candles-and-lovehearts. " I grin, sitting up to kiss him again.   
"I think your forgetting the part of me that punishes you and hurts you and keeps you on edge, submitting to my every want," he challenges.   
"I'm not forgetting it, but I fucking love that part of you too."  
"Filthy mouth on you, boy," Louis grins.   
"What do you suppose we do about that then, sir?" He groans and pushes me back on the bed.   
"No talking." I nod and watch as he strips off and roots through our draws. He stands over me and puts the blindfold over my eyes and slips a ball gag into my mouth. 

"You remember how to colour right? What's green?" He asks as he's undoing my pants. I show him a thumbs up and he pats my hip so I lift my bum allowing him to slide my pants off. "Yellow?" I clap. "Red?" I kick my legs out and am satisfied when he grabs my ankle to still me. "Purple?" I tap to get his attention then pull on the strap of the gag. "Good. My clever little boy aren't you?" 

I nod my head eagerly and listen as he locks the door. Smart move.   
"You can come whenever you want, okay? You've earned it," he allows, settling back on the bed. "Keep your hands above your head."

I jump when he sits astride my thighs but he soothes me and let's his hands wander about, pinching a nipple, a thigh, the head of my dick. I whine around the ball in my mouth and bite down heavily. 

I'm shocked when he only touches one part of my dick very lightly. His thumb presses against the underside of the head and rubs in slow, steady circles. He doesn't allow me to buck up and I can hear him wanking next to me. I whine, wanting to see and touch him. I don't know how long he does this but the fire in my belly builds and builds and builds until something happens. I can feel something oozing from the tip, down the side of my dick. But I haven't come. 

I move my hands and Louis lands a swat to my thigh.   
"Colour?" I tap out and pull on my gag. He removes it without moving his other hand and the stream of fluid pouring down onto my abdomen doesn't stop. 

"Lou," I sob, hands clenching horribly. "What is it?" I ask.   
"Are you hurt?"   
"No."  
"Why're you crying?"  
"I want to come. I don't know what's happening!" I cry as it continues.   
"Do you trust me?" I nod my head and breath how Louis would like, the way his hand pushes my belly.   
"Completely," I sniffle.   
"Then you're okay. Do you really want to know?"  
"Tell me later, please."  
"I will, darling. You're safe here okay?" I nod and smile as he kisses the head of my dick. "Tell me when it gets uncomfortable."

He carries on for what feels like forever until I can feel small twinges of pain.   
"Lou. Stop, please, hurts a bit." He carries on a tiny bit and then complies. "What was that?"  
"That, my darling, was milking. Now you can't come, you can orgasm but it will be dry. I've just emptied your balls, basically." 

I flush and open my mouth when Louis presses his sticky fingers against my lips. I swallow the bitter liquid and scowl.

"Don't look so miserable, you've done amazingly." I lick at Louis' fingers when he brings them back this time and try to think about happy things. About Louis and suddenly, it's not as bad anymore.   
"There we go," Louis encourages. "Want to put the gag back in and come on your face, okay?" I nod my head and open my mouth wide for the gag. Louis sucks his fingers and attaches the gag again. 

He kneels over my chest and I can hear his hand moving. I arch my neck, presenting my face for him to do what he pleases.   
"Amazing," he groans before he comes and it lands on my cheeks, over my chin and probably on the gag and blindfold. 

"Stay there." I breathe through my nose and settle into the sheets, keeping my arms where they are and spreading my legs. I can feel my come moving, dripping around my hips and thighs. I must be a state. 

"Gorgeous," Louis praises. Then I can see a dim flash. And another. And another. Then it stops. 

He comes forward and undoes the gag and moves my arms from where they are, stiff from being in the same place for ages. The blindfold falls away from my face but Louis covers my eyes loosely with his hand so I can get used to the light. 

"Did you take a picture of me?" I frown when he stands me up, off of the bed. He strips the sheets and pushes me to sit and rest my muscles.   
"Yes. I did. If you wish for me to delete it I will. But I think you should see it first."   
"I'll look. But if I like them, I want to keep a physical copy. Like a scrapbook. No one else can see unless we let them." 

I'm still a bit floaty but not as much as before.   
"You warm and fuzzy?" Louis grins.   
"A little bit, yeah."   
"Well, how about we make that a lot? You want to be flogged?" 

I have missed the flogger since our first time using it.   
"Mm," I hum, resting my head back. "Yes, please."   
"Okay. Go to the play room. I'll be in in a moment to sort you out. I'm just gonna get dressed and tell Niall and Gemma to go out somewhere."  
"We're the worst hosts ever," I smile.  
"You're in no state to be a host," Louis teases. "Now go and do as I've said." 

I leave him with a kiss and run to the play room, closing there door behind me and leaning against the door. I look around and hide the bag that has Louis' birthday present in, then lie back on the bed. 

I freeze up when I hear the door open and jump away when a hand lands on my side.   
"Only me." Louis. Louis. Thank god it's Louis.   
I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his chest gently, looking up with a small smile on my lips. 

"Now. This time won't require the bed. Stand up for me darling." I clamber clumsily off the bed and stand in the spot Louis points to. 

"Raise your arms." I do and Louis comes over with a pair of handcuffs, kissing each wrist before locking the cuffs around each wrist. He stands on his tiptoes and loops the links of the cuffs around an attachment on the ceiling. 

"Won't I fall?"  
"No. It's stable. You're hardly heavy."  
"'M lanky." Louis shakes his head and rests his hands on my chest, fingers tracing over the heart he made earlier.   
"You're perfect," he grins, kissing me softly, lips smooth and gentle.   
"I love you," I whisper, trying to swing forward to get anther kiss but I lose my balance and cry out, Louis' hands quick to hold my still. 

"Easy, babe," he chuckles. "Open your legs more. That's it. Push your bum out." I gasp as I'm thrown into darkness, Louis behind me and wrapping a clean blindfold around my eyes. 

"Stay as still as you can for me, love. Can you do that?"  
"Yes, Louis."  
"Good boy." His voice warm and hands soft as they run over my backside. His hands don't leave me but he grabs lube and spreads it over his fingers. I whine as he pushes one in gently, pulling it out slowly only to push it back in further. 

"Taking it so well, love. Doing wonderfully," Louis says, pressing another finger against my hole waiting until it puckers and pushes them in slowly. I take a deep breath in and hold it there, clenching my eyes shirt tightly. 

"Breathe, darling," Louis reminds, a hand on my stomach. "Move my hand in and out. Can you do that?" I nod, focusing on my breathing instead of the two fingers resting inside me. "That's it, baby. Keep it up." His fingers move steadily in and out, scissoring to stretch me for a third. 

It's not long before three fingers come and quickly go, Louis pushing something large against me. I groan and writhe, struggling to take it all.   
"Breathe in." I suck in a breath, knowing what is about to happen. He pushes it all the way on and I gasp, panting for breath. 

"Good boy. My amazing boy, aren't you?"   
"Yes. Your good boy," I whimper, head feeling fuzzier and fuzzier every second.   
"You need to stay very still now. Alright?"  
"Yes, Louis." 

I can hear a thud on the floor and then his hands are cupping my balls and pulling them down.   
"Ah! Lou- Louis-" I gasp for breath, a groan escaping my lips as something wraps around the stretched skin and holds my balls further away from my body. Then it gets tighter. And heavier. And tighter. 

"All done. Look gorgeous, y'know? Doing fabulously." My mouth hangs open and I shiver with anticipation as he strokes the flogger over my back, nudging it against the plug. I groan and hang my head, waiting for the first hit. 

It comes hard and heavy, in between my shoulders. And another. He hits me with all his strength on the back of my legs.   
"Lou!" I yell, my legs turning to jelly, too weak to hold myself up. I weigh and thrash as he hits me, fighting against the hits. 

He doesn't hold back, one hit after the other until I can't feel a piece of skin that isn't burning. I sob loudly, body shaking as Louis continues, focussing his strikes on the back of my body. It's delicious and my mind is a mess of blurry Louis'. The plug makes it even harder to keep hold of what is left of my brain and I can feel myself falling quicker and deeper than ever. 

The strikes continue and they don't slow down or soften, just carry on to turn me into a red, stinging pile of mush. And I'm loving every second of it. 

"Louis. Louis," I bawl, no longer moving when he hits me, just limp and pliant. I feel like I'm floating, every hit making me go higher. 

Eventually the hits start to dwindle until they come to a halt. Then Louis is by my side, un-cuffing me and catching me, bringing me over to the bed to lie down. He pulls the blindfold off and goes to leave. 

"Lou," I cry, grasping onto him tightly, too afraid to let go.   
"It's okay, Haz," he whispers but let's me cry and pull him down next to me as he whispers sweet things in my ear. 

"There we go," he smiles when my cries die down. "You're okay. You floaty?"   
"Mhm," I mumble drowsily, eyes lidded and drooped, bed sheets off to prevent any further hurt to my skin.   
"You feel okay?"  
"'M good," I slur. "Warm. Fuzz." I can feel him kiss my forehead and pull me closer and it stings my skin. "Sore." 

"You will be after that," Louis smiles gently, "took so much for me. Did so well. You're astounding. Really beautiful, Harry." I make a small, content noise and snuggle down into Louis' chest, happy to stay wrapped up in everything Louis. 

"You want to stay under for longer?" I nod my head minutely and whine, a scowl on my face when he leaves the bed. "Just going to run you a bath. I'll be back in a moment." 

 

I watch the bathroom carefully, waiting for him to come back but unable to get up and find him. 

I whimper when he walks back in and settles a hand on my side.   
"Alright," he soothes, pressing a kiss to my lips. "Got to get you up to get you in the bath. I'll hurt you if I carry you." 

He helps me sit up painfully, the lashes on my bum being a huge source of pain but that just helps me dip even lower and I become slightly grateful. 

I walk with my weight on Louis and he eased me into the cool bath, hushing my complaints. It stings at first but hen cools down and helps the burn.   
"Well done. My amazing sub. I'm so proud of you. So lucky to have you, Harry," he mumbles as he washes me over with some weak shower gel. He shampoos and conditions my hair before rinsing it and helping me step out of the bath. 

"There we are. Let you air dry."   
I wait quietly until I'm dry and Louis rubs my skin with generous dollops of soothing cream and Aloe Vera. He holds my hand as I whimper through the pain of antiseptic on my cuts, before he allows me to walk back to the bed. 

"Lie on your front." I do and close my eyes. "How are you?"   
"Clearer. Tired. Want you."  
"You've always got me," he grins, lying next to me but unwilling to touch my skin. 

He talks to me about small things, my favourite food, T.V show and makes me drink lots of water before I feel like I can see properly and think for myself again. 

"Lou," I croak, voice stupidly dry for the amount I've drank.   
"Yes darling?"   
"I love you."   
"I know. I love you."  
"I love you," I repeat, nodding my head. "You'll hate me after your nap."  
"Could never hate you. You're wonderful," I smile dopily, tired and sated.   
"Thank you. You're the most amazing person I know Harry. You're so brave and trusting and God- fucking beautiful." 

I hum and close my eyes, smiling to myself as Louis describes why he thinks I'm pretty as I ignore the stinging of my red skin in favour of the sound of Louis' voice.


	51. Chapter 51

"Haz, you have to wake up now." I whimper and shake my head.   
"Lou."  
"I'm right here baby." I shiver and turn my head to look at him. 

"Hi," I hum.   
"Hello, sleepy head." 

Rather than coming back with something sarcastic I just smile and nod.   
"My mums coming over later."  
"Can you help me get up?" He nods and lifts me with his hands under my arms, pulling me to stand on shaky legs. 

 

Louis tries to get me dressed and even after the creams, it's too painful and unless he wants me to be in subspace when I meet his mother officially, I can't wear clothes. 

"We can try the dressing gown. If this one hurts then I'll give you some painkillers and send you to bed to sleep it off a bit. My mum is staying around here for a while so you'll get another chance to meet her." I nod and gulp as I try on the dressing gown. It burns when I move. 

"I can't sit down though," I whine.   
"Right. Lie on the bed, I'll be back in a minute." I huff and crawl onto the mattress, sprawling my long limbs out as I settle on my stomach. 

"I'm just going to rest a load of ice on you to numb the pain a bit and then we can give you your paracetamol." 

The ice feels heavenly as Louis moves it over my skin to melt it and slowly numbs the pain in my back and legs. I roll onto my back and he repeats the process on the front before giving me an energy bar to eat and two tablets to take. 

"How's it feel?"   
"Better," I smile, reaching out for Louis. He shakes his head and runs to the bathroom before he returns, producing a large, dripping wet towel. 

I wriggle as it drips over my torso and then he lays it down flat on my stomach and chest to soothe the skin completely. 

Once the towel has warmed to my body temperature, he produces a new towel and does the same therapy on my back. 

Louis lathers my skin with creams and antiseptics until he is satisfied that I'll be okay to wear at least one article of clothing. He gives me basketball shorts and a baggy vest. 

"I'll turn the heating up," he smiles and brings me to sit slowly on the couch in our living room. "Want a cup of tea while we wait?"  
"Yes please."

When he comes back with our drinks he sits in the arm chair to my left but turns his body to me so I can see him.

"What was bothering you in the shop earlier?" Louis asks, never one to forget something like that.   
"I- I was thinking, maybe we could try fisting?" He chokes on his tea and gulps in large quantities of air, face red and eyes watering. 

"You could've warned me Haz," he wheezes.   
"Sorry."  
"We'll try it. It'll take time and you might not be able to for a while but I think we can work you up to it," he smiles.  
"Okay."

 

"Come over here, lovey." I frown.   
"I can't get up," I pout.   
"Oh, babe. You need to get used to moving. Just come and sit over here and the girls won't jump on you as much." 

That's going to hurt. I whine but slowly make my way over to him. He holds my hips, making me wince, as he helps me sit beside him. 

When I'm sat down comfortably Louis stands up and goes upstairs. When he comes back down he has a fluffy blanket and lays it gently over my legs.   
"You okay darling?" He smiles. I nod and pucker my lips. He laughs but leans down and kisses me gently. 

"I can't believe how well you took it all. You did so fucking well. The girls might be a bit loud and ask a lot of questions. Obviously you don't have to answer any but if you want you can. They're old enough to understand some of what we do. Obviously we can leave out the details for Daisy and Phoebe. The twins can't understand much at this point never mind BDSM. Answer anything you want for Lottie. My mum probably won't be as intrusive."  
"Okay," I gulp, trying to digest all of the information.   
"Colour out anytime you want. If you feel fuzzy at all you tell me and I'll try to get the girls to lay off." 

He kisses me softly and I hum quietly, teeth nipping at his lips.   
"Lou?"  
"Yeah?" He whispers, pulling back.   
"I'm already a bit fuzzy just because of the stinging."  
"How fuzzy?"  
"Not much. I can still function. But I don't want to go under around all of them."  
"They'll understand." 

A knock on the door makes me jump and I flinch at the harsh pain covering my skin.   
"Relax baby. You're safe here, yeah?" I nod and pout when he leaves my side to answer the door. 

 

I can hear the cheer of "Louis!"'s from the girls and small footsteps until all of the family arrive in three living room. I grin and wave, brace myself for impact as he girls run forward.

"Girls, don't touch Harry!" Louis warns and they slow down and turn to look at him.   
"Why? What's wrong with him?" Fizz asks.   
"Harry will tell you if he wants to. But just be gentle with him," Louis smiles. I nod gratefully and grit my teeth as Phoebe climbs into my lap and wriggles around. 

"Be careful!" Louis shouts when I whimper, closing my eyes.   
"She's okay. Just need to adjust," I frown.   
"Babe, if you're not comfortable just push her off." Phoebe's eyes widen and she grabs onto my arms. 

"I won't push you, its okay," I smile and wrap an arm around her back. "So how are you, girls?"   
"I'm good. What'd you do to deserve this?" Lottie asks when she sits next me, poking at the skin of my side. I make a noise and I can feel my head getting blurrier as the girls crowd around to poke and prod at the marks they can see. 

"Lou," I whimper, reaching for Louis.   
"Oi, get off him!" Louis snaps and when the girls move he helps me up and cradles me to his chest. "You're okay," he soothes.   
"Lou. Getting fuzzier." Louis sighs points to the girls. 

"You. All of you. Stop it. Now."   
"Girls, leave poor Harry alone. sit down and don't touch him or we'll go home."

They mumble their apologies and sit down.   
"Are you okay darling?" Louis whispers into my ear, sitting on the armchair and pulling me onto his lap.   
"Yeah. Just, need you," I mutter, resting my head on his chest. 

"If you have any questions to ask Harry you can but he might not want to answer. Just be nice to him. Please?"   
"Harry, what has made your skin so sore?"   
"Lou?" He nods and runs a hand down my back slowly. "He flogged me."  
"Why?"  
"I enjoy it," I shrug. 

"Haz?" I hum, moving my head back to look at Louis. "Are you okay?"   
"Yeah."  
"Are you sure? What's your colour?"  
"Fuzzy. Green."   
"I love you," he whispers.   
"Love you," I mumble, kissing his cheek softly. 

We talk for a little while longer before the girls go into the kitchen with their mum and it's just Lottie, me and Louis.

"Lottie wants to speak to you because she's going to a school similar to this soon. Are you okay to answer all of her questions?" I nod and Louis helps me stand and move over to the couch to sit next to Lottie. 

"So what do you want to know?" I ask, fiddling with my hands in my lap.   
"Just what it's like being a sub. Obviously I know some bits but I've never spoken to someone who will actually give me answers."  
"I didn't know what BDSM was when I came to this school and me and Lou have had our ups and downs but being a sub has helped a lot. I treat people better than I used to and now that I'm with Louis I feel loved and safe. Something I've never felt before."

"Soppy," Louis grins, whispering in my ear. I shake my head, laughing a little before directing my attention back to Lottie. 

"So what'd you say is the most important thing to do when you get assigned a Dom?"  
"Just establish the rules and ask questions if you're unsure. Make sure you're clear on your limits and things like that. Understand what is expected of you and if you don't like the way you're being treated or the way your relationship is, don't hesitate to bring it up."  
"What do you two do about punishments?" 

I gulp and look at Louis for help.   
"Harry and I don't allow either one of us to be angry still or upset when I'm giving the punishment as we know it can end badly," Louis frowns and holds up my hand.   
"Louis!" Lottie scolds.   
"It's okay. It's a thing of the past now," I intervene, lowering mine and Louis' hands to the arm of the chair. 

"So, what do you usually do for punishments?"   
"Go on, Haz," Louis encourages when I hesitate. 

"I don't want to answer. It's your sister!" I blush and Louis laughs, kissing my cheek.   
"Just spank him," he shrugs. "But Harry's a good boy and barely ever needs it. We recently invested in a cane to try out though."   
"So flogging isn't a punishment to you?"  
"No," I laugh. "The first time we tried it, it was meant to be but I enjoyed it too much so now it's just fun."

"You said you should establish the rules. Do you and Louis have a list of rules?" Lottie asks when we're all sat together in the living room again, some kids cartoon on the telly. Louis is in he kitchen though, making everyone a drink.   
"Yeah. I think it's in our pl- uhm, room."  
"Am I allowed to look?"   
"Yeah. Just let me go get it," I smile. 

I push myself up, off of the couch and walk slowly to the door.   
"Where are you going, love?" Louis shouts from the kitchen. I hesitate. Will he not let me go? "Don't ignore me, Harry," he warns.   
"Going to get our rules to show Lottie."  
"We have some on the fridge." I frown, do we? 

I shuffle my way into the kitchen and go over to the fridge.   
"Since when do we have rules here?"  
"Are you uncomfortable with them being there?" Louis asks, worrying his bottom lip. I roll my eyes and grab the rules before walking over to him. 

"Don't second guess yourself. I'm fine with them being there. You'd know if I didn't." I lean forward and kiss his mouth gently until he lets his bottom lip out from between his teeth and I kiss him again.   
"Yeah, I guess I would," he teases. "You and your big mouth."  
"You love, use and enjoy my big mouth so I don't think I should be hearing any complaints," I grin.   
"So you're being cheeky now?"   
"Yeah. 'M not as fuzzy as before." 

Louis narrows his eyes before he leans in with a smirk on his lips and rests his palms on my bum, massaging slightly. I gasp into his mouth, knees shaking.   
"I could change that easily couldn't I, baby?"  
"Yes. Only you."  
"Good," he smiles, sweet and innocent as he moves away. "Anyway, you should've asked me if you needed to get up."  
"I'll be fine Louis," I smile lazily, waving to him before I walk back to the living room. 

I hand Lottie the sheet and sit down next to her again. 

"Number one. No swearing. 

Number two. No masturbation or orgasms without my permission.

 

Number three. You take your punishment like a good boy. If you think either of us are still angry you can colour out and your punishment will be given later on. 

Number four. You can always word out. There will be no punishments for colouring. 

Number five. Do as I ask and trust that it's the best for you. I will always tell you what's going to happen if I think you're going to need the information. 

Number six. Before sex you will have an enema. 

Number seven. If you're interested in trying something new you ask me about it and we will work something out. 

Number eight. I expect you to go by my rules not any other dom's. Pay attention to teachers and Ali but I make your rules and enforce them. 

Number nine. If you're good you get a reward, eg. A date, a new toy. If you're bad you get a punishment. Usually a spanking or a cock cage. I expect you to tell me if you've been bad and I don't know about it. 

Number ten. Be nice to yourself. Don't put yourself down because of anything. Take care of your body: take your inhalers, make sure you eat well."

"That's a lot of things to remember," she sighs.   
"It's not, I promise you. Louis reminds me of most of them anyway."  
"Which one gets you the most punishments?"  
"Swearing. Every time I swear I get five spanks at the end of the day."  
"Does being spanked hurt?" She frowns.   
"Yes. That's why it works. But it's not too bad, as long as you're good and if you're naughty apologise. Your Dom will learn what you can take and what he has to draw the line at. That's what's nice about this. You choose where to draw the line. You choose a lot of things in these relationships." She thinks for a moment, blushes and looks at the floor. 

"You've gone into subspace, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"Is it hard to go under?"  
"It's meant to be easier if you trust your Dom. I haven't had anyone besides Louis so I can't compare, but it depends. Some people might take a while and others could do it straight away."  
"But what if I don't go under?"  
"Your Dom won't be upset. You certainly can't force it. If it still worries you, ask your Dom when you meet him."

Louis comes in a few moments later, smiling softly at everyone and giving us our drinks.   
"Can I feed Ernest?" I ask when Jay gets up to get their bottles.   
"Are you sure you're okay with that?"  
"Yeah," I blush. "I'm clear headed now."  
"Okay then. Louis you can feed Doris. Sit together I want to take a picture."

Louis rolls his eyes but goes and picks up Ernest and kisses both of our heads before laying him in my arms, his head in the crook of my elbow. He takes a second trip to get Doris and sits next to me, grinning. Ernest is staring up at me, eyes wide and lips smacking together. He wants his bottle. 

"We could have our own kids one day," he whispers as Jay goes to get their bottles. "How do you feel about that?"  
"It's certainly something to think about," I smile. I love my life. "I mean, one day in the far future. Maybe."  
"We'll discuss it more then." I nod and thank Jay for passing me the bottle before I hold the teat to his lips and wait until he sucks on it to move it a little bit further. 

Jay coos, getting her phone out and taking a picture. And another. And five more.   
"Mum," Louis whines. "Stop it. Poor Harry's had a bad enough time with the girls and then you start taking photos of him when he's relaxing?"  
"I didn't decide to flog my boyfriend before my mother arrived with my little sisters and brother!" I flinch. Have I made a bad impression? What did I do wrong? 

I can feel the tears welling in my eyes and I bight my lip.   
"Lou, it's fine. If your mum wants to remember it then she can."  
"Shut up, Harry. You don't tell me what to do," Louis snaps. I stare at him in shock as more and more tears gather in my eyes, ready to spill over. 

"Lottie can you take him please?" I whisper. She sucks in a breath and takes Ernest out of my arms.   
"Haz," Louis frowns. I shake my head and hurry as quickly as I can out of the room and up the stairs to our room. 

I lie on the bed and cry into the pillow. I just want them all to like me. Why don't they like me? Louis' phone is on the bedside table so I grab it and go into his contacts. Who do I call? Mark would probably not enjoy me spouting about his ex and her kids. Gemma won't understand yet. Neither will Niall. I don't want to bother Ali. Liam and Zayn have just had me move in for weeks, to get away from Louis. 

We can work through this together, right? Just us two. Yeah. 

I go into the bathroom and splash my face with cold water, frowning to myself in the mirror. Putting on a brave face, I think to myself 'deep breaths, deep breaths.'

"Haz," Louis calls. He's in the room now. "Haz, you okay?"  
"Fine," I smile into the mirror, trying to convince myself and Louis. I walk out, keeping the smile on my face.   
"No you aren't," he frowns, standing up to wrap his arms around me.   
"I said I'm fine," I repeat calmly. "Now let's go downstairs and be good hosts." 

"And I say you aren't," he argues. His arms circle my waist and pull me to his chest. I sigh and relax a bit more, snuggling into the warmth of Louis. 

"If you were fine you wouldn't have started crying. And I'm sorry for snapping at you. I wasn't angry at you, I was annoyed at my mum. I'm not going downstairs until you're okay."  
"I'm fine. Just I don't want to be the cause of any arguments in your family."  
"You aren't! My mum was being petty. And they're gone now."  
"What, why?" I frown, moving away from his chest.   
"I made them leave because you were upset because of something my mum said. She's coming over for dinner soon, so she will have a chance to apologise then." I frown.   
"Okay. Can we have hot chocolate and watch some Friends together please?" I pout.   
"Yes. We'll have it up here because I think you're sleepy. Am I right?" 

I blush at the childish approach but nod my head. Louis grins, pressing a kiss to my lips before nudging me in the direction of the bed. I smile at him and carefully climb under the covers while I watch him make his way downstairs. 

"Darling, sit up a bit," Louis smiles when he comes in, his voice waking me up slightly.   
"Oh sorry," I mumble, shuffling up the bed so I'm leaning painfully against the headboard.   
"It's okay. We'll have this with some biscuits and watch friends, then we'll take care of you and go to sleep, yeah?"   
"Thank you," I nod, voice soft and sleepy.   
"It's my pleasure," he grins and sits next to me, handing me my hot chocolate before turning on the telly. I lean against his shoulder and kiss the soft skin there. 

"I love you, Lou," I whisper, closing my eyes and sighing happily.   
"I love you too, darling," he smiles. "Are you feeling better than before?" I nod my head and yawn, burying my head into his arm. "Someone's sleepy."

I hum in agreement and hold my cup out for Louis to take. I hear him chuckle to himself before he takes the cup and I curl further into his side.  
"My sleepy baby," Louis muses, running a hand through my hair. "Got a big day ahead of you tomorrow, baby." I blush but my head is full of sleep to recognise how I'm being treated. 

"Love you," I mumble, wanting to make sure he knows before I fall asleep with my arms around him.


	52. Chapter 52

I wake up and everything's dark. I'm cold and can't roll over.

"Lou?" I rasp, mouth dry. No one replies. "Louis?" I shout louder. "One moment darling." I relax a little knowing that he's here. "Untie me, Lou."

"Are you telling me what to do?" He asks, voice deep, sending shivers down my spine.

"No. Sorry," I gulp, melting into the sheets.

"Good boy. You going to behave for me then?"

"Always." I can feel his hands on the inside of my thighs, dipping lower to massage against my perineum.

I moan, trying to buck into his hands and he hushes me, wrapping a hand around my dick. "Lou," I whimper feeling something poke at my hole.

"Harry." His voice is clearer now, waking me out of my reverie. "Lou?"

"Haz wake up." I make a small noise, opening my eyes to see Louis sat up, come on his side. "You alright?" He asks, brushing my hair out of my face.

 

"I'm so sorry. Lou, God." He huffs a laugh and scoops the come off his skin and feeds his fingers into my mouth. I frown but he shakes his head. "You made a mess, you clean it up."

He's certainly being strict and it turns me on to no end. I close my eyes and lick his fingers clean every time they come back. "There's a good lad. Look at you, all beautiful and sweaty."

"Am I going to be put in my cock cage?" I pout, clinging onto his side. He smiles, running his knuckles over my cheek and shakes his head.

"Not today. I think today we can have a special day to ourselves. Niall and Gemma are visiting someone who lives nearby. We need to speak to Ali about something today too."

"But, I was naughty?" I asked. We have the rules and they have to be followed, right?

"You want a punishment?" Louis asks incredulously. I sigh. Why doesn't he get it?

"That's one of my rules. I'm naughty so I get punished."

"Love. Okay, go stand in the corner. Nose to the wall and hands behind your head." He pats me on the bum as I get up and I rub my face as I walk to the corner of the room. I click my back and hips before bending over, face flushing as I press my face to the wall and bring my arms up.

"I'm sorry, Louis," I frown.

"I know. Now, no speaking until I say. Okay darling?"

"Yes sir." I can hear his sharp intake of breath and I close my eyes, feeling guilty as fuck.

A few minutes in and I can feel my eyes watering. I was so bad for Louis and I didn't even mean it! Suck it up, Harry, he's letting you off easy.

"Oh baby," Louis sighs when I start crying. I shake my head and remain in position until Louis circles his arms around me and pulls me to his chest.

We lie back on the bed and Louis breathes steadily to try try and calm me, though I can feel his heart beating quickly under his skin.

"Lie down, lie down. Everything is gonna be okay, did so well, so amazing for me baby. You okay?" "Gonna throw up, Lou," I sob, stomach acid rising.

Louis pulls me off the bed and runs to the bathroom with me, patting my back and hushing my cries as I throw up into the toilet. "You're okay, absolutely perfect. My little boy panicked, yeah? That's okay."

I'm too wound up to notice the name he gives me and instead just nod as I cry and hold his hand tight.

"You finished?" I nod my head and lean into his touch, eyes blurry and mouth tasting bitter. He turns the shower on and stand me up getting to stand there under the cool water.

"Breathe how I showed you, baby, yes? In. Out. Good boy. In, out." I lean against the wall and close my eyes, repeating his words, in, out. I can hear him speaking to someone on the phone as I let the water run over my back.

"Gonna dress up nice and pretty for me, baby?" He asks when he's off the phone, pulling back the shower curtain. I nod lazily and step forward into the towel he holds out.

"My lovely baby. Go pick out some clothes."

"Want you to choose," I mumble, resting my head on his shoulder. "Okay love. Sit on the bed like a good lad."

I waddle over and flop onto the matress, getting cosy as I watch Louis root around the drawers. I laugh and wriggle when he throws a pair of boxers that land on my face. He dries me off and pulls on my boxers and a pair of pyjamas on.

"Ali wants to speak to us, okay?" I nod sleepily and hang off Louis as he pulls me along to counselling.

 

"How're you after your morning hiccup, hey Harry?" Ali smiles softly.

"I'm really tired. But you two are acting weird. What's going on?" I frown, cuddling up to Louis on the couch.

"Well it's kind of a touchy subject. You might get annoyed. We want to see if you'd be okay if we regressed you to a child," Ali sighs.

"No. I'm out." I stand up and shake Louis' grip on my arm so I can leave.

"Harry. We just need you to talk and think about it. It may help you with what happened in your childhood. I know you have nightmares and such. I want to help you," Louis pleads.

"No," I refuse.

"We need to talk about it more than that," Ali frowns.

"Why should we? I don't want to act like a child. It's ridiculous and I'd make a fool of myself."

"Is that what you care about?" Louis breathes, pulling me into his lap to hold me in one place. He speaks into my ear softly when he talks.

"I love you. I love you so much. This is to help you and I want to see you get better."

"There's nothing wrong with me," I frown, turning to look at Louis. "Haz. Don't play dumb. Now you're going to think long and hard about this. We'll set boundaries of course. You won't always be a kid.

 

Maybe just when you get too stressed. We'd have a signal for you to tell me whether you want to be little or not. You can call me daddy. Anything that makes you comfortable. We'll do t properly and if you don't like it then you don't have to do it. Try it for me?"

 

Should I? I have so many questions that I'm scared to know the answers to.

 

But I ask them anyway and Louis is patient with me while he explains things and makes sure I'm comfortable with everything being said.

 

"Nappies?" Louis asks.

"I don't know." I don't know about any of this.

 

Confused isn't even the word. Befuddlement?

 

 

 

** _Tell me. Do you want Harry to regress to a younger child? Would you like me to do a version of he story where he does go back to a younger mindset? What would you like?_ **


	53. Chapter 53

I prefer adding things like this as a chapter as it's important in the story not just a minor thing. I made sure I got that chapter posted before I went to sleep and didn't expect that many people to reply. 

You guys seem rather split on the idea and I, myself, like the idea that he does some things that are similar to that daddy/little relationship. Though I tend to get carried away when I wrote so if you don't enjoy something in the story I apologise. 

I may do another story just of them getting Harry to regress properly. 

In this story he will go into a younger mindset sometimes, not all the time but of his own accord always. The youngest age he'd probably regress to three years and up but that will be debatable and the age he goes to will not be discussed as Harry just goes as far as he'd like. Harry would always choose how old he Frels and acts. 

Nappies will not be used at all unless that is something you guys want. 

 

A lot of you said they're not as experienced as they should be and I agree with that so it wouldn't be rushed you may just notice little things that makes Harry seem a tad younger. 

 

Would you like Harry to start calling daddy while he feels younger? I have a lot of ideas but I'm still unsure of how you'd respond. 

 

Give me your thoughts, wishes and ideas! Thanks for the feedback!! The response so far has been incredible. I never imagined that this many people would read and enjoy this story so it means so much and makes me get a bit emotional. 

Thank you again :) byeeee xx


	54. Chapter 54

"Would you use a dummy?" Louis asks when we're sat in bed again after a day of watching Harry Potter and ignoring the elephant in the room.  
"I don't know, Louis," I sigh, putting my bookmark on my book and putting it on the bedside table. I turn to look at him, sat cross legged on the bed. 

"You liked calling me daddy. Would you do that again?"Louis asks, sitting up too, taking my hands in his. "Harry, I know this is a big ask. And a lot to think over but internalising all your thoughts and feelings won't help you at all. What was the first thing I told you about or rules?"  
"That I don't need to avoid eye contact." Louis laughs and presses a kiss to my hand.  
"Second, then." I look up at him, all soft and prettier than anyone I've ever seen. God, I love this lad.  
"That I have to talk to you and communicate."

If you could get actual heart eyes, I'm sure Louis would have them right now.  
"I can't believe you remember that," he grins. I blush and look at our hands. 

"Okay," I breathe. "I think I can talk about it now." Louis smiles and pulls me across the bed so my legs aren't crossed. He pulls me to sit beside him, no space between our sides and he throws an arm over my shoulder. 

"Would you use a dummy?"  
"I might try it," I shrug.  
"Would you call me daddy?"  
"More than likely. But only if I felt like it."  
"Of course. You don't do anything you don't want to, though I will be making decisions for you."  
"Like what?"  
"Bedtimes, mainly just your routine. I'll take on a more caring role in your life."  
"It's not sexual right?"  
"Do you want it to be?" Louis asks.  
"No. But what if I got hard?"  
"Little boys don't get hard, Harry," he whispers and okay that shouldn't turn me on as much as it does.  
"I might be on my way right now." Louis laughs and pats my thigh. 

"You'll tell me. I'll decide if I do anything about it. If I don't want to, we'll ignore it and you'll go about your business." That shouldn't make me hard, the fact that I am meant to ignore my hard on. "And that's okay. The rules still apply though. We go as far as you want. If the most you want to do was have a nap or a daily cuddle, Id still be happy. If you went as far to regress to a toddler I'd still love you. I admire your bravery, Harry." I turn my head awkwardly and kiss him slowly, melting into the moment. 

"I love you," I breathe.  
"I love you too, baby," he grins. 

"We'll write a list," Louis says when I'm back to reading.  
"What, Louis?"  
"We'll right a list of things. Like our contract but for our age play. Does that sound okay?"  
"Sounds fine." 

He gets out of the bed and goes to a drawer in the corner of the room and pulls a notebook and pencil case out.  
"Right then, we can write what we think you'd do. And then I can write what you might want to consider doing. What is a no go, out sign for when you feel little." 

 

On the piece of paper he's given me, I put a key in the corner of the page. Green is what I will try. Yellow is what Louis thinks I should try. Orange is a no go. We didn't have red.

 

Green. 

Naps. Naps are always good no matter what age. 

Dummies. 

Calling Lou, Daddy. 

Set bedtimes. 

I don't know what else to put. 

"You stuck baby?" Louis asks. I nod, biting the end of the pen. "Would you have a teddy? Would you wear more childish pyjamas?" I give him the pen and paper.  
"I-I guess so. I was thinking about it maybe if we get a teddy that could be how I tell you? Like get it out and put it on the dresser so you'd see it or something," I mumble. The idea intriguing to me now that I knew more about it.  
"Yeah. That's good darling. Clever little boy, aren't you?" I blush and look at the list we've wrote down together.  
"Nicknames. They can be a thing," I suggest. Louis kisses the top of my head and writes it down. 

"Punishments will stay. Naughty boys don't get away with it do they?"  
"Sure don't in this house," I mutter.  
"Don't be cheeky." 

I have to laugh at the situation. But judging by the look on Louis' face, I'm laughing too much. It's all overwhelming and I start to crumble, getting off the bed as the tears start dripping down my cheeks. I run into the bathroom and look in the mirror. 

I look a mess; snotty nose; red, puffy eyes and blotchy skin. I sniff and swallow, splashing my face with cold water as I stare into the sink. 

The hand that lands on my hip makes me flinch but I don't move away from it. I close my eyes when Louis' other hand comes under my arm and rests on my chest. Lips drift over my shoulder and neck, stopping behind my ear to suck a soft mark.  
"Come back to bed." 

Louis gently coerces me into the room, placing gentle kisses on my skin as I cling to him, my need for him as mighty as my need for air right now. He pulls back the duvet and lays me down softly, moving over to the other side of the bed. I make a small noise that comes from the back of my throat.  
"I know, hunny," he soothes, climbing in next to me, snaking his arms around my waist. 

I rest my head on his chest and throw my leg over his hips.  
"Sleep now baby." 

I dream about life with no worries and a small child with curly brown hair, dimples and green eyes.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prep for Larry first time sexy times! If you don't like the idea of enemas or don't enjoy reading skip this chapter. I've never written anothing with an enema in so I found this difficult. Enjoy xx

In the morning we don't speak about what happened but the age play contract is on the fridge and makes me choke on my coco pops. 

"So," Louis hums. "We have a free day today."  
"Yeah? Are you planning anything?" I ask.   
"Do you remember what we said we'd do when we had a free day?" I bite my lip and look at the floor.   
"Oh. I - uhm."  
"Haz, if you aren't sure about it we won't do it. "  
"You said I'd have an enema. That's the only thing I'm worried about," I mumble.   
"I'll be there every step of the way, okay?"  
"That's what I'm worried about," I frown. Louis smiles. 

"I love you." I can't help the way my lips turn up at the edges.   
"I love you too. But isn't it a bit impractical to have an enema each time? What if you wanted to be spontaneous?"  
"I'm only doing this because it's your first time. You will be fine okay? I'll look after you."  
"You always do," I agree. "Okay. I'm good." 

"I'll go set it up. For now just relax, listen to some music," he smiles. Before he leaves, he leans down and kisses me softly. 

 

I try to stay calm and not think about what's about to happen but that's easier said than done. And Louis is coming back in the room sooner than I expected.   
"Babe, no worries. C'mon, lets get you settled." I nod and take his hand to follow him upstairs. As we ascend the stairs I can hear soft music getting louder and louder with each step. 

"Soppy," I joke.   
"Only the best for my best."   
"I love you," I repeat, getting a little chocked up.   
"No tears. Happy or not," Louis smiles, kissing my lips softly. "Go sit in the bathroom. Take off your clothes and I'll be in, in a moment." 

I hurry to do as he has asked and let myself stare at the setup he has. Towels in the bathtub, a bag of water hanging from a hook on the wall connected to a little tube with a clamp. There is a butt plug on the bath side and I go to look at it but then Louis is in the room. 

"Good boy. Come give us a kiss before you get ready." I gulp and walk towards him, planting my lips on his. "My gorgeous boy."  
"Yours. All yours," I mumble. Louis smiles and kisses me again.

"Get onto your knees and elbows. Get comfy, if you want to move tell me." I climb into the bath and get into the position asked. He strokes a hand down my spine before spreading a little lube over my hole. 

"I'm gonna talk you through everything okay?" Louis asks as he pushes the nozzle against my entrance. I take a deep breath and he pushes more but pauses. "Breathe out." I release the air in my lungs as he pushes the tube in as I clench. 

"It's okay, darling. Colour?"  
"Green. Just nervous."  
"You'll be perfect. Okay? Trust me on this."  
"Don't I always?" I sigh.   
"Yes you do and it's incredibly flattering. I love you."   
"Get on with it," I huff and Louis laughs, a heavenly sound.   
"Sorry baby."  
"Love you," I reply and then I can feel the water. It's warm, not hot or cold. 

"Tell me when you want it to stop."   
I whimper into the towels underneath me as my stomach gets heavier and fuller.   
"Lou," I pant. "Louis."  
"Colour for me?"  
"Green just nnggh!" I whine. The water stops. 

"Breathe babe. Stay calm, everything's okay, you're doing so well." I can feel the wet in my eyes and lump in my throat as I nod.   
"Is there more?"  
"A little."   
"Go," I whimper and groan through the dull ache of stretching in my abdomen as the water starts to flow again. 

 

The water stops a minute later and Louis tells me to clench up as he pulls out there nozzle.   
"Right, gotta hold it for ten minutes. Okay?" I nod and hold my breath as he presses the butt plug to my hole. "Unclench a little." 

When I do he pushes it in quickly and pats my thigh. I can relax a little now that I'm not struggling to hold it. He sets a timer for ten minutes on his phone and sits next to the bath to talk to me while we wait. 

I breathe out a sigh of relief when the timer goes off, sweat collecting on my skin and my breathing heavy.   
"C'mon then love," Louis encourages as he helps me stand, making noises into his neck as we walk to the toilet. 

He pulls the plug out and tears are selling up behind my eyes. The sound of the water hitting he water in the toilet makes me cringe and the tears start to fall as I clench back up.   
"Let go love," he whispers.   
"I can't," I sob, shaking my head as he rubs my tummy. 

"Yes you can. Think of how much better you'll feel when let it all go. Being so good for me but you need to let it go. I'm so proud of you baby." I push his hands away but he holds me tightly and hushes my cries.   
"Go out the room."  
"I told you I'd be here the whole time to help you," he pushes and moves me side to side. It's getting harder to hold it now and I cry louder as I let it go, heaving sobs wracking my body as I release the fluid into the toilet. 

"There we go, good boy. See don't you feel better now?" I nod my head and wipe my cheeks as I try to calm my breathing. I whimper as Lou runs my tummy for a while longer waiting for anything extra before he wipes over my hole with a cold wet wipe. 

"Go lie down on the couch then," Louis murmurs, pushing me towards downstairs. "Have a nap, Hun. I'll be down in a minute."

 

I give him a kiss before I make my way downstairs and grab a blanket to use as I listen to the soothing music that's still playing upstairs. I get cosy and cuddle down with my blanket and into the cushions. I'm exhausted by I'm so excited for what's gonna happen later. 

Just as I'm dozing off, Louis appears in the door way. I send him a sleepy smile and blow him a kiss. He pretends to catch it and pats his fingers to his lips. I giggle to myself and close my eyes again before he walks away and I fall happily into much needed slumber.


	56. Chapter 56

I wake up a few hours later feeling light and well rested. At least I think its a few hours, I'm not sure what time I went to sleep.

"Lou?" I call out when I've sat up.   
"You're awake," he smiles as he walks in the room. "You feeling better now?" I nod and look at my lap. He comes over and wraps his fingers around my wrist, pulling me off the couch. He grins and walks backwards until he reaches the stairs. 

He turns to me and lifts my head with a finger under my jaw. I lean into him and he stops just before our lips touch making me whine.   
"Impatient aren't you?" He teases. "Are you ready?"   
"Yes." 

He smiles then and closes the space between us, my arms wrapping around his neck. A hand cups the side of my face, his other resting at the bottom of my back, keeping us close. 

He pulls away, panting for breath as he kisses down my neck, breathy moans coming from my throat. After a few more seconds he steps away completely.   
"Bedroom," he pants, pointing up at the stairs. I'm dizzy as I run up the stairs eagerly. 

The room- oh, he did what he said he would! Rose petals on the bed, candles, cute music. I step in the room and wait for Louis to come in.   
"You didn't have to do all of this, you know," I grin. I have butterflies in my stomach and my heart is fluttering like their wings.   
"Only the best for my best," he recites.   
"God, I love you," I breathe, reaching for him. I connect our lips again and pull him close. 

He walks me backwards to the bed until my calls hit it and we fall back together to land on the mattress. I giggle into the kiss and shuffle up he bed away from him, crooking my finger when I'm sat against the headboard.   
"You're so hot," he groans, kneeing up the bed after me. "Get the lube." 

I reach to my side while he wraps a hand around my dick, making retrieving the lube out of the drawer a difficult task.   
"Too many clothes on you," I frown as I pass him the bottle. He smirks and gets off the bed, holding his t shirt at the corners with his arms crossed. 

I gulp, watching as he brings it over his head, messing his hair up. He wriggles awkwardly to get his joggers of making me laugh and shake my head.   
"Are you laughing at me, Harry?"  
"Why would I ever do such a thing?" I gasp, faking shock. He chuckles and get back on the bed, snatching the lube from my side. 

"Lay back, relax. Spread your legs."  
"It's not what you usually hear after the first sentence," I joke but do as he has said, cheeks feeling hot and rosy.   
"I love how you can still blush around me."  
"I'm glad because I don't know if it'll stop anytime soon," I smile watching Louis drip lube over his fingers and shuffle towards me. He wraps his other arm around my waist and pulls me to lie flat on my back but props my bum up with a pillow. I close my eyes and let myself get lost in the moment; gentle touches against me and the insistent press of his fingers inside me, stretching me and making me feel oh-so-good; hot, passionate kisses shared; the whole Louis of the situation. The music playing sets a nice rhythm to everything and keeps it as calm as it could be. It's sweet and romantic and I'm so in love with this boy. 

Louis pulls his fingers out and I whine, pouting at him. He huffs a laugh and drizzles lube into his hand to cover himself in, watching me with hooded eyes. 

I smile up at him when he shuffles his body over me and positions the head of his dick to my hole.   
"You ready, yeah?"   
"Does it look like I'm not?" I say rolling my eyes which makes Louis laugh.   
"Making sure," he grins, leaning down to kiss me as he pushes in. His hips move forward slowly, filling me and he's so solid above me and I feel like I can't breathe when his hips meet mine and stop. 

His lips are soft against mine and he leans his weight on his forearms beside my head. I gaze up at him, astounded by the beauty above me   
"You can move," I allow, tugging him down so our whole bodies are pressed together as he brings his hips back, breaths mingling and words and noises getting swallowed by each other as pushes forward. 

He sets a steady rhythm, no need for speed when we're this close to each other.   
"Fuck, Lou," I keen, smashing my lips to his. The kiss is messy, tongue and teeth but it's slow and full of feelings that can't be portrayed. 

Everything's hot and so, so Louis. And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

He joins our lips together and groans into my mouth, hips bucking or of rhythm. My prostate is being hit constantly and it's heavenly, enough to bring me to the edge but not enough to push me over.   
"Want to come," I whine.   
"You don't need permission right now," Louis smiles. "As vanilla as it gets."  
"Don't worry, I prefer rocky road," I mutter, voice high and breathy. "Dark and full of surprises."

Louis laughs, rating his head on my shoulder to take a breath.   
"You're jokes are so bad," he grins, pretending to bite at my fingers when I brush them over his lips.   
"That's why you laughed," I quip, cutting myself with a loud moan. He kisses my palm and I bring it down to wrap around my dick, pulling myself closer and closer to orgasm. 

"'M gonna come," I pant, eyes clenched shut and back arched into Louis.   
"Go on beautiful," Louis moans, thrusts getting more erratic and out of control. I bite down on Louis' shoulder and whimper as I come over my stomach, vision whiting and head going blank. 

I lay exhausted, Louis above me smiling down. He places a gentle kiss to my lips before checking if I'm okay for him to continue. With my approval, his hips move again and it takes no more than a few thrusts to make him spill his load inside of me. 

He collapses on top of me and I'm so glad I got to witness him coming for once, it's a face I'll never forget and will hopefully see more often. 

As we catch our breath, sweaty and sated, he pulls out and flops down to the side of me. I blush, can feel his come dripping out of my hole. 

"So?" Louis asks, a hint of a smile on his face when he sits up, leaning over me slightly. I bite my lip, brushing his hair out of his face.   
"Mind blowing."   
"That's a relief," he grins. "Do we feel like a shower?"  
"I don't know, do we?" I respond cheekily.   
"I think we do, wonderful. Filthy you," he says as he gets out of bed and pulls me to stand in the baht room with him. 

"Y'know what they say, nice on the streets, freak in the sheets," I wink. The shower is warming up and Louis pulls me in for a cuddle, a comforting and warm embrace.   
"My freak."  
"Of course. All yours. And you're all mine," I sigh happily.   
"I love you," he whispers.   
"I love you so much," I smile, getting a little ready just at the thoughts of my feelings towards Louis. 

He holds me back so he a. See me and I sniffle, laughing wetly.   
"Do I need to phone Ali? Are you okay? What's your co-"  
"Happy tears, Lou, happy tears," I laugh, hugging him to me tightly.   
"Oh. Good. I never want to be the reason you cry. Unless it's happy or because of our mind blowing sex," he teases. I slap him gently on the chest before we get in the shower and wash each other off. It's as if having sex has done something for us because if just feels so much more natural, like his is where I'm meant to be and what I should be doing. Louis is supposed to guide me and show me how life is in a way no one else has. 

 

And I decide that's how it is. This is who I am and who I'm supposed to be. Everything is right in the world.


	57. Chapter 57

Louis changes the bed sheets and orders pizza for a late lunch. We were busy with better things. 

We're curled up on the couch, a fluffy blanket wrapped around us.   
"Hey, Lou?" He hums, looking at me instead of the television. "When will we start all of this age play stuff?"  
"I was thinking we could go shopping for the stuff e ither today or tomorrow and hen start whenever you'd like to."  
"I'd like to go shopping today. If that's okay. I want to get the stuff before Gemma and Niall come back for a bit. 

Then we have your birthday and Christmas. I would never be little on your birthday."  
"What's wrong with that?" Louis frowns.   
"It's meant to be celebrating your birthday and you being treated specially not me. Plus I wouldn't be able to give you your birthday present."  
"Oh, so you've got me a sexy present?" Louis grins, smacking a kiss to my cheek. "We have a similar idea of what good presents are."

We eat our pizza, half pepperoni and half bbq chicken and Louis gets us both our coats and grabs the car keys.   
"I swear if you have a limp," Louis frowns.   
"What'd happen if I did?" I ask, confused.   
"It was your first time. I don't want you to be limping afterwards. Any other time I'd be proud," he smirks and makes me walk. I fake a limp as I walk to the door and I hear him sigh before I turn around. 

"I'm joking Louis. I can walk fine, it was great, nothing hurts," I blush.   
"Good. I don't know whether I'm pleased that I set a high standard or not," Louis smiles, wrapping his arm around me as we walk to the car. "You were amazing, Harry."  
"I know, so you've said. Thank you. Have you got plans for your birthday?"  
"I'm seeing my dad and the idiots across from us in the morning. Other than that, nope."  
"Good. Keep it that way."  
"Bossy," he huffs, pretending to be annoyed. "Will you not just tell me what you have planned?" He whines. 

"No. It's a surprise. Only three days now, yeah?"  
"Yeah. Look, this shop might be a bit eccentric. Just try your best to stay calm? You're free to colour as always."  
"If I coloured while we were having 'vanilla sex' what would you do?" I ask.  
"Stop," Louis exclaims. "What do you think?"  
"I-I don't know w-what I th-thought. Sorry," I mutter, feeling stupid. 

"Hey, none of this," Louis softens his voice. "I was just shocked Okay? No hard feelings."  
"Sorry."  
"Stop apologising when you haven't done anything," Louis laughs.   
"So-"  
"Don't say it!" I frown. I want to say sorry again. 

"Lou, it comes with the anxiety. I feel the need to apologise a lot. I'm sorry if it annoys you but it's just how I am."

Louis pulls up outside the shop and sighs, turning to me.   
"Okay baby. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. You don't annoy me. Now let's go."

He meets me at my side of the car and his hand finds the small of my back as we walk into the shop. 

"Wow," I whisper, the expanse of pinks and blues in front of me astonishing. The amount of different things is slightly intimidating but Louis' hand presses me forward and I feel grounded. I've got Louis-I can do it. 

"Choose whatever you like love," he smiles, moving away from me but I pull him close again.   
"Stay with me," I gulp, feeling slightly shaky. He coos, ruffling my hair and pressing a kiss to my head.   
"Go ahead, I'm right here."

I go to the least scary thing, a blanket. Some have patterns on and the ones I like are just plain light blue, fuzzy, large blankets. Louis passes me one and I blush, cursive letters spelling out 'Daddy's little boy' in a dark blue with yellow stars around it on the corner.  
"Can I get this one?" I ask, biting my lip. He takes it and puts it in the basket without a word. 

I look at the teddies, blushing when a girl walks past me and smiles. There are lots of choices now and it's difficult to choose. I pick them all up, feeling the fur and just how they feel in my arms. 

Then I pick one up, a fluffy, dark brown bear, quite traditional besides the colour. It feels light though it is very large and squishy and cosy. Perfect. I blush, looking down at the teddy.   
"This one," I mumble, throwing it in the basket. Louis just smiles and kisses my cheek, letting me guide him around the shop. I let him grab a few dummies, that are quite large and should fill my mouth according to Louis. And he grabs a bottle for a drink and he asks whether he can buy me a plastic plate set.   
"Anything. Just buy anything and we'll see whether I use it," I shrug. He puts it in the basket and brings me closer, pressing his lips to my temple. 

"I know you're nervous. But try your best to not snap at me, okay?" I close my eyes, breathing deeply as I nod.   
"Okay. Thanks." 

 

We buy some onesies and a few pyjama sets with little cartoon characters. He buys a few bath toys and childish towels. He even gets kiddy bed sheets and a night light. Saying 'you never know how far you'll go' which is fair enough. On our way to the till he buys a box of nappies and a changing mat. 

When we're at the till I feel like my face is as red as a tomato as the man at the till rings the items up. Louis has added a few things to my surprise. A book set and jigsaws; a gag with a dummy attached; mittens and more teddies. 

I help him carry it all to the car and sit quietly. Louis puts his hand on my leg and kisses my cheek.  
"You okay love?"  
"'M fine." He looks doubtful but puts music on as he drives.   
"That wasn't very convincing."  
"I know." I laugh a little and he chuckles.

When we get home we put everything away in the spare room which is now my 'little' room. Louis even puts the childish bedsheets on the bed and brings me to stand in his arms.   
"We can paint this if it all goes well, design it for little Haz." I blush and nod my head. "C'mom, Ali's coming over now."

I sit in the living room and Louis puts on a cartoon.   
"Seriously?" I laugh.   
"You'll watch it when you're little. Want you to get a taste of it." I cuddle into Louis' side and jump when Ali knocks at the door. Surprisingly I'd got invested in the cartoon and Ali had scared me out of my trance. Louis smiles and I turn the telly off quickly before he opens the door. 

 

"Hi Harry," Ali smiles, sitting down next to me. "So you went shopping?"  
"Yeah. It was - interesting." She laughs.   
"Can I see what you bought?" Louis squeezes my leg as I shake my head. 

"I-i don't know."  
"Can you tell me what you got?" She asks gently. Louis gets the receipt out and kisses my head.   
"You can relax for now darling."

I snuggle into his side as he reads the items out, his voice soft and soothing.   
"Is there anything you have a problem with?"  
"I'll know when I've tried it out. And I haven't yet so I'll let you know when I do," I shrug sleepily.   
"Why're you so tired Harry?" Ali asks. I look at Louis and he grins down at me.   
"Haz and I had our first time this morning," his cheeks flush pink and he bites his lip.   
"Go make us a drink Lou?" Ali says with a mischievous grin on her face. He gets up and walks to the kitchens and Ali leans in close. 

"How was it?"  
"It's was brilliant."  
"I believe you said it was 'mind blowing'" Louis says from the hall.  
"Nosy," I laugh but I can feel my cheeks get hot. He walks away and I smile at Ali bashfully.  
"So how'd it happen?" She's such a gossip.  
"He brought it up this morning over breakfast. He gave me an enema and then I had a nap because I got quite worked up. And when I woke up, he brought me upstairs and he had petals on the bed, candles and music playing. We cuddled after and then we had lunch and went shopping."  
"Louis is sweet?" She jokes. Louis walks in the room laughing and hands us a cup of tea each. 

"It's was amazing and Harry was incredible," he finalises.  
"Good. So you are really thinking about doing the age play thing?"  
"Yeah," I nod. "I feel like it could help who I have my panic attacks."  
"I know you're shy about addressing what you want sometimes. Are you sure you'll be able to ask Louis to do it when you want it?"  
"To tell the truth, no I'm not. If Louis thinks I need to he can ask. He's good at reading me."  
"I'm sure we'll get better at it as we gain more experience," Louis agrees.   
"Okay. Just tell me how it goes and if you ever need help," Ali offers. 

"We will. I'm sure we'll be okay though. Maybe if I'm too nervous we could get Liam and Zayn to come around?"  
"I thought you'd be against it?"  
"Call it a play date," I shrug and stare at my hands on my lap. Louis takes my hand and kisses the back.   
"I'll speak to Liam and Zayn about it. Okay?"  
"Yeah. Thank you for all of this, Lou." He kisses me gently, placing a kiss to my nose when he pulls away. 

"My pleasure," he grins.   
"I think now is my time to go," Ali smiles and gives us both a hug before she makes her own way out. 

"What would you do if I said I felt kinda horny right now?" I ask later on, after we've had dinner and are sat watching QI, cuddled up on the couch. 

Louis laughs and slides a hand up the back of my top.   
"I'd take you to our room and I'd lay you out, rim you maybe. Finger you? Maybe I could just leave you, make you battle with it." I groan at the thought, curling my arms around him tighter. Louis chuckles and let's his hand slowly inch towards the back of my pants. I squirm, making small noises into his neck. 

"Go upstairs then, babe," Louis smiles and pats me on the bum when I stand. "If you're good I'll let you come."

 

And if I said that doesn't get my heart racing Id be lying.


	58. Chapter 58

I sit and wait in our room but Louis still doesn't show up. What's he doing ? 

"Babe come down." I sigh and walk back downstairs.  
"What the fuck is that?" I exclaim when my eyes settle on the contraption in the living room.  
"Excuse me, Harry?"Louis tuts.  
"Sorry."  
"Still getting spanked. Cmon over my knee." I stare at him with wide eyes.  
"Right now?"  
"Yes, right now," he says sternly and pats his knees. 

 

I shuffle over and lie my torso over his legs. He pulls my pants down and rubs his palm over my skin.  
"Might spank you everyday," he muses.  
"What if I haven't done anything?"  
"Yeah. I still would, just remind you of what I can do. What I will do. Keep you permanently in line won't it?"  
"Yes," I whimper.  
"You can disagree if you want to you know." I take a shuddery breath and look back at him with an awkward smile.  
"I know. Now can you spank me and get it over with?"

"Who makes the rules?"  
"You do."  
"Who follows them?"  
"I do."  
"Then should you be ordering me about?"  
"No. Sorry, sir." He softens.  
"You can call me Louis."  
"Sir feels better when we do this. Separates it from the rest of the day."  
"Okay. You ready?"  
"Yes sir." I brace myself for the first hit and Louis doesn't hold back. 

 

He hits his palm as hard as he can from the get go. He doesn't stop when we've done five and I carry on crying into my hands until he stops. And my bum feels hot and swollen. 

"You're okay, yeah, babe?"  
"Louis," I cry and he shushes me, pulling me to sit up, legs either side of his waist so I don't put pressure on my bum.  
"What's your colour?"  
"Green. Just that was more than I thought."  
"I know baby. Come here," he smiles, opening his arms. 

"What's the thing over there?" I ask quietly.  
"That is a fucking machine."  
"You want me to-"  
"I'll tell you what I want in a moment babe. For now I'm going to tell you what you will do. Do you think you can go under?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well. I'll put something on the telly and then we'll get you hooked up, if you want to. And you can choose your own size dildo. Then we'll get you situated. If you're too loud I'll gag you. Your arms will be restrained so I will watch you carefully. You will come whenever you want and as many times as you can. If you want it to stop obviously you can colour. That okay?" 

"Wow. That's a lot to take in," I huff. He smiles gently and kisses my forehead.  
"Do you want to?" Louis wants me to so I should do it. Yeah. I will.  
"Yes." Louis looks taken back but nods his head and gently strips me of my clothes before situating me on the frame of the machine. 

I choose the smallest one and Louis rolls his eyes but attaches it to the machine anyway. 

He straps my forearms to the legs of the contraption and does the same with my legs.  
"My gorgeous boy." I whimper when he presses the dildo to my hole and presses the button. 

The plastic moves forward, stretching me further as it goes and I groan, looking to Louis. He smiles and pecks me on the lips before he moves away and watches me. 

 

Once I'm adjusted he plays with the settings, speeding the thrusts up and making them shallower or making it vibrate.  
"You just can't keep quiet can you?" He sighs when I cry out, coming for the first time, all over the floor. 

I open my mouth wide for the gag to slip in and he pats me on the head and goes back to where he was on the couch. 

My head isn't getting blurry like I thought it would. The movements against my prostate hurt. I cry around the gag, tears falling to the floor.  
"Good boy, doing well." I breathe through my nose, breaths becoming harder to retrieve. 

"Babe. I know you can come again." I nod and pull against my restraints, trying to gain breaths. I flip my head to Louis and stare at him, eyes burning holes in his head. 

"Harry, it's okay. You can, I know you can." It burns but I'm still hard and needing to come. And my chest burns too from lack of oxygen. My head is spinning as I spurt white across the floor again. 

I start sobbing, scared of what's about to happen and I can feel my airways constricting while Louis starts to undo the straps on my limbs. He takes the gag out and kisses me gently. 

"Harry. What's happening? What do I do?"  
"Lou." I gasp, collapsing against him when the machine is off.  
"Harry what do I do?"  
"999." He grabs his phone and rings them staring down at me in panic. 

 

"Inhaler." He gets my inhaler and presses it to my lips, making me inhale the gas. 

My vision is blurry and not just from tears. My head feels heavy but my limbs feel like lead. It feels like I have a boa constrictor around my chest, squeezing tighter each time I breathe, pulling the oxygen from my lungs. 

 

"Cmon Haz you can do it. I'm here for you and the ambulance is on its way." I can feel his arms around me as he sits me up and makes me take my inhaler. 

"That's a good lad. You're gonna be alright. I promise you'll be okay." He sounds so desperate. Like he's convincing himself too. "Dear god Harry, please be okay."

 

And then I can see bright flashing lights and there are other people in the room. 

"Hey, Harry?" One of them asks and I turn my head slightly to the noise. "We're gonna get some pants on you and than we will get you to the hospital."

The stranger tries to shuffle a pair of joggers up my legs but I cry out and shake my head.  
"Louis." The man carries on as I cry but Louis is there by my side the whole time, rubbing his hand up and down my back and making me take my inhaler again. 

I'm hoisted onto a stretcher and wheeled out the house into the front garden. I can see people around us staring at me and Louis, collected near the gates of our home to watch what is going on. 

 

When we reach the hospital they pull Louis away from me, a police officer holding him back as I cry. Without Louis it feels like I can't breathe at all, like I've forgotten how to. 

I think I might be sick. Everything gets even worse from here as I throw up down myself and the people panic.  
"Need Louis!" I gasp, hurling again. 

"You need to calm down Mr styles," one of the nurses tries.  
"No," I howl, " Lou. Need Lou. Need him now."  
"Mr styles-" I cut her off when I throw up down my front again. 

"What's going on?" Another nurse asks. I carry on heaving and retching and try to block out everything and picture Louis being beside me. I try to picture him telling me everything's going to be okay. But it's not going to be okay now. 

 

"Calm down."

I sob, my fight reducing when there's a mask placed over my face.  
"Breathe in and out. You'll be fine without him." I start heaving again and they move the mask away while I throw up but replace it quickly and rush me into a free room. 

 

They're hooking me up to machines and pricking my skin with needles as I lie there, sobbing my heart out and wishing Louis was by my side. 

 

Soon, the gas starts tasting funny and makes my limbs go all tingly and loose. I feel like water. I'm the tiny hydrogen atoms that latch onto oxygen- Louis - and without oxygen they aren't complete. 

God I don't know what they've put in this. Chemistry wasn't my best subject yet here I am referencing it. 

 

I feel my eyes get heavy and I roll my head to the side to look out of the window in the door where I can see Louis, gazing past the officer he's talking to to look at me. 

He starts crying when he sees me and that's the last thing I see before I fall asleep. 

 

 

When I wake up my head hurts and so does my chest and my arse.  
"Haz?" I look over to Louis and send him a watery smile. He presses a button on the bed and smiles gently, resting his hand on mine.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he breathes when the nurse has left after checking me and giving me more painkillers.  
"I love you," I whisper, the stupid mask making it impossible to hear. "I love you."

 

"I love you too. I was so worried and then they wouldn't let me see you-"  
"Calm down. I'm fine now okay?" He raises his eyebrows. "Okay I'm not as bad. Why did you have to speak to a police officer?"  
"It was just to make sure that I wasn't the cause of you being hospitalised. They're going to question you too but it's just a procedure they have to do so don't worry about it."  
"I'm not. I've worried too much for one day."  
"Actually it's the next day. Niall and Gemma are coming later for you."  
"Oh. That's nice. We need to trade presents don't we?"  
"We'll do it when you're better."

We sit in silence, holding hands as I start to feel tired again.  
"I'm sorry Haz," Louis whispers.  
"'M not asleep y'know?" I laugh and he rolls his eyes.  
"I'm still sorry."  
"You didn't do anything. You helped me."  
"I pushed you too far. You couldn't have told me oh my god this is all my fault. You could've died. Harry I'm sorry."  
"Louis- you haven't done anything wrong! Okay?" He raises his eyebrows. "Now is not the time to assert dominance Louis. This is an argument between us not between us as a Dom or sub." He looks surprised but he nods his head. 

"You're right. Why're you always right?"  
"So you believe me?"  
"God no! I'll never stop blaming myself for what's happened." I sigh and shake my head.  
"And I know I can't change that but I don't blame you. I blame my shitty lungs." Then after a moment I apologise for swearing. 

"It's fine. Swear all you want. We're not doing this anymore."  
"You're breaking up with me?" I ask, tears gathering in my eyes.  
"No! The Dom and sub shit. None of that."  
"Louis don't do this," I beg. "I enjoy it."  
"I want you to have a normal relationship with me. Not one where you have an asthma attack because of a scene. And you didn't go under either."  
"Sorry."  
"Don't apologise. Just pointing it out."  
"We do have a normal relationship. Look at the rest of the world. We're tame compared to them."

"Well figure it out. I swear everything will be fine."  
"I like being a sub."  
"Maybe just in the bedroom?"  
"I don't know. What if we're not compatible without being like we are?"  
"Don't say that Harry."  
"Just shut up and give me a hug," I sniffle. Louis smiles sadly and wraps his arms around me. 

"Nothing's going to hurt you anymore not even me. I swear we'll fix this."  
"I love you," I mumble before I start drifting off again.  
"I'll wake you up when Niall and Gemma get here. I love you." 

He kisses my head and holds me in his arms until I sleep properly. 

My sleep is restless however as I wake up from a nightmare, sweating and panting for breath which hurts my chest and Louis isn't there. 

"Lou?" I panic, watching my heart monitor and the moving line get more erratic and I'm having a panic attack. Again. 

I'm not sick this time, I just sit and sob, the world around me oblivious and unimportant. 

 

"What has this school done to me?"


	59. Chapter 59

I flick the light on and frown at the phone on the bedside table. It's Louis' phone. But where is Louis?

I take it off the table and turn the light off as the phone begins to ring. 'Dad' starts flashing on the screen, his ringtone loud in an otherwise silent room. 

"Hello?" I croak.  
"Harry? Are you okay?" Mark asks.   
"Ish. Where is Louis?"  
"I was ringing him to see. I don't know."   
"Where are you?"  
"I'm at home. I can't sleep and Louis phoned me while you were asleep. I was just ringing to see how you were holding up."

"Louis' gone. I don't know where he is."  
"It's okay, Harry. I'm sure he's just gone to speak to someone. Or gone the toilet."  
"He said he doesn't want to be with me anymore," I sniffle, wiping my eyes.   
"Harry, he loves you. He's scared of hurting you again, that's all. Do you realise how much this has shaken him up?"  
"No," I mumble, biting at my nails. 

"He rang me while you were being taken away, crying down the phone. He thought he'd lost you Harry. He is terrified of you hating him, blaming him for what happened. He's frightened to hurt you again. He second guesses himself quite a lot. Maybe it'd be good for you two to have some normal time together and slowly work back into this?" 

It takes a while to process all of that but I nod my head. Then realise that I'm on the phone.   
"Okay. Yeah - we'll work it out."  
"Louis will be back soon, I'm sure. Get some rest and I'll see you soon Harry."  
"Bye Mark. Thank you."

 

I turn the light off and flick through Louis' phone for a bit until I hear the soft pitter patter of feet on the ground. 

"Where were you?" I ask when I can see his face, soft light from the hospital halls rests upon his face. His expression is pained. He looks scared to come near me.   
"Was speaking to Liam and Zayn."  
"What's wrong?"

"Harry," he sighs. "The rules in our school are that if a sub is hospitalised during a scene or at the fault of his Dom then the Dom is kicked out straight away or chooses to start the whole school years again. I'd have to become a sub again Harry."  
"W-what? You can't. I can't deal with it." 

The water gates open quickly and I bawl into my hands. Louis quickly comes to my side, makes room on the bed and pulls me to his chest mindful of the wires poking out of my skin.   
"Shh, darling it's okay. Everything will be alright. We'll find a way to fix this okay?"  
"What if we can't and you have to be a sub. You'd join my year right?"  
"I'd have to have a year off and then reapply again which takes a while."  
"Why a year off?"

"Then you'd be in year three and I could hint to my dad that I wanted to be your sub."  
"I thought you didn't want to carry on with BDSM?"  
"I do. I don't want to hurt you. Look at what I've done! Broke your fingers. Made you have numerous panic attacks. And you've had an asthma attack."  
"Panic attacks aren't your fault. The asthma attack wasn't your fault either. I haven't been taking my inhalers. And the broken fingers are long forgotten about. Plus we've both seen what pain can do to me."

"I love you," he whispers, voice trembling and wet with tears.  
"I love you. I'm in love with you. And I'm so glad that is something I can say." He doesn't respond, just kisses my shoulder and rests his cheek against it. 

"I think you'll be a good Dom."  
"You think? I always pictured myself being a sub in year three for you."  
"I think you'll do well. You are only submissive when it comes to me."  
"It'll stay that way. We could still live with each other, right?"  
"My dads made sure of it. And he said if I behave well as a sub then I'll get bumped up a year for good behaviour. You'd look after me if I was a sub wouldn't you?"

"Thought you don't like subbing?"  
"Yeah and I never thought I'd like little brats but here I am," he teases. I laugh and nod my head.   
"I'd look after you no matter what role you were in. You'd be a switch?"  
"Gotta play by the rules haven't I? And once we leave we can do whatever the hell we like."

"What will happen to me?"  
"You'll get a new Dom but you won't live with him."  
"That'd be cheating."  
"Explain to him our circumstances. You can try new stuff with him if you'd like but no actual sex. I can't risk anyone but me getting you pregnant."  
"I'm not trying anything. The most I'll do is a punishment. That seems like something I could do. Is that okay with you?"   
"As long as I know you're always mine then yes it is. Though I need to get used to giving up the dominant role in the house. We could test out some stuff while I have my year off."

"Sounds like you've thought about this for a while Louis. You would've been more apprehensive about it if you hadn't. Why have you never mentioned it before?"  
"I- don't know. I am scared to give up the control I have over you. But I guess I'll be in safe hands. Especially when your hands have healed."

 

"We will still have sex right? In the year off?" Louis laughs and nods his head.   
"I'm sure we will. So can you tell me my Christmas slash birthday surprise?"

"Really want to know?"  
"Yes. I promise I'll act just as surprised when it happens."  
"Well. I am not telling," I smile. "Wait and see. You'll enjoy it. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway."  
"I enjoy anything when you're involved." 

 

"We'll talk about it more at home. When you're well enough to go home."  
"The last time this happened I was in for a while but that was worse than this time. They have to keep me in for a certain amount of time because now that I have had one I'm more vulnerable to have one again. In a short space of time anyway."

 

I get to leave soon enough, Louis allocating bed rest for as long as I'd allow.   
"Tell Niall and Gem to come up. We can do our presents now before they have to leave." 

They all gather round on the bed with me, Christmas presents in hand and we pass them out to each other, watching with bright eyes for the others reaction. 

Niall grins when Louis and I open ours, a gift voucher to the biggest sex shop in the uk. Gemma bought us candles- ones for the house - and the new Script and Ed Sheeran albums. 

Niall and Gem are happy with their gifts, a set Louis and I put together as a beginners guide to BDSM. 

It has a poster which displays positions; a page that has the best set out for the rules and a blank contract for them to fill. There is a bottle of aloe and soothing cream; a paddle and a flogger with a pair of nipple clamps. 

"This'll come in handy when I start school soon."  
"Yeah, Danny will be made up when I show him this." Danny is Niall's boyfriend, the one he wants to start practicing with. They've been researching but just haven't built up the nerve. 

 

I hug them both when they're leaving, tears in my eyes.   
"Don't get upset, Haz. We'll visit you for your birthday okay?" Gemma asks, holding me tighter.   
"Yeah. It's been a while, just sad to see you go. Niall tell Danny he needs to Skype me. I'll see you guys soon."

We watch them drive away and Louis closes the door, pulling me to his chest.

"And the story begins."


	60. Chapter 60

I smirk at Louis who is naked on the bed, mouth wide. He beckons for me to walk over to him so I step carefully, swaying my hips and praying to God he finds this sexy. 

The corset makes my waist synch in and gives me more feminine curves, the stockings and garters showing a bit of skin, making my legs look long and slim. The panties underneath are silk, soft and black, Louis' favourite colour on me when I'm wearing lingerie. 

I stand in front of him, stepping between his legs when he sits on the edge of the bed.  
"You look beautiful," Louis smiles as he looks up at me with soft eyes and reaches his hands to my hips to pull me closer.

"I feel it," I blush, hands resting over Louis' on my waist. 

He pulls me down by a hand in my hair which is getting longer and harder to control. But Louis loves it so I do too. 

He ghosts his lips over mine, rests his head on mine until I press closer to him, starting our kiss. 

But once it's started I feel like I can't stop, Louis' hands in my hair and on my arse, holding me close. I push him back until he's lying back against the pillows and I pass him the lube, walking over to the iPod speakers, pressing play on the screen. 

Music - S&M by Rihanna - fills the room, a smile on Louis' face as he watches me undo the garters, hips swinging to the beat of the song. I take my time and make a show of undressing. I leave my stockings on but rid myself of everything else as I walk to bed, kneeling in front of Louis. 

I take the lube off him and turn around so he has a great view of my bum and what I'm doing. Biting my lip with anxiety, I coat a few fingers with lube and reach behind me, stroking over my hole and slowly pushing inside. 

"God, you're amazing," Louis groans behind me. I use it as incentive to continue so I thrust my finger in and out a few times, short breathy whimpers leaving my mouth as I add another. 

Once I've worked my way up to three fingers I'm driving myself insane and rocking back against my fingers, throwing my head back with a moan. I pull them out and wipe them off on a tissue I had next to the bed. 

I turn around to see Louis, coating his dick in lube and patting his thighs. I knee my way over to him and reach behind me to hold him in the right place while I sink down slowly, a low moan falling off my lips. 

Louis groans, digging his nails into my cheeks as he holds me down for a moment.  
"You're so hot," he gasps, hands moving up and over my waist when I start to raise up and sink back down with a whine, moving my hips faster as I go, leaning down to connect my lips with Louis'. 

"Love you," I moan, rocking my hips against him as I get closer to the knot in my stomach exploding. He starts thrusting up to meet me, chasing his own orgasm too and driving me to mine as he does it. 

"'M gonna come," I whine, legs tired but unwilling to stop the movements when I'm this close.  
"So dirty, Haz. Dressing up for me, putting on a show. My pretty boy, aren't you?" Louis grunts, holding my hips tight as he thrusts quicker. I push my lips against his and let him do the work as I come, white spraying on mine and Louis' stomachs. Louis carries on, sucking on my neck as I writhe and whimper on top of him until he comes, pressing up into me and groaning when he pulls out to pull me to his chest. 

"Happy birthday, Lou," I grin, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. He smiles, running a hand over my hair to tie it back with a bobble.  
"Thank you, baby. That was incredible."  
"Mind blowing." Louis laughs, a lovely noise that reverberates through his chest. I nuzzle my head down in his neck, clinging onto him tightly. 

"I love you. Go to sleep," he whispers as he rubs my back gently.  
"I love you. Merry Christmas."  
"Merry Christmas."

 

He gets up to go close the window now that we're cooking down and gasps.  
"Haz, it's snowing!" I perk up then, looking up at him and the window where white crystals are floating through the sky. 

"This will be the best Christmas I've ever had," I mumble when he's back in bed, our electric blanket on and is cuddled together to keep warm.


	61. Chapter 61

Mark comes with me when I meet my new Dom. I meet him in a classroom just in case and I stick by Mark's side the whole time. 

"Harry, this is Adrian, your new dominant. He already has a sub; Tommy."  
"Hello, Harry. I understand you have some things to tell me?" I nod my head quickly. "Go ahead." 

I explain everything that's happened, going over anything that is a red for me and I miss Louis already. It's been half an hour and I miss him. 

"Wow you have a lot of circumstances that change things. So since you're still with Louis I assume you're not interested in doing scenes. I will still have you follow my rules though. Punishments will be involved. Does that sound okay Harry?"  
"We'd have to go over the punishments but yes master."

We go over punishments, narrowing it down to spanking, caning and chastity.  
"Chastity will be difficult when I'm having sex with Louis at home and then I'm not meant to come."  
"Well then you'll stick to the rules, won't you?"  
"Yes master."

"How was your day, hunny?" Louis asks when I come home, setting his book on the couch to pat his lap.  
"I've been spanked already," I complain, shuffling over to sit down but Louis shakes his head. 

"Pull you pants down and bend over." I blush, doing as he's asked and waiting for what he'll do. I wince at the hands that pull my cheeks apart, pink cheeks sore and stinging. I gasp when I feel his breath over my hole. Then he goes for it, licks sloppily and then prods his tongue against my entrance until I unclench to let him push his tongue in. 

My leg shake as he adds a finger, rubbing against my prostate and pulling loud moans from my chest, his tongue soft and warm against me, my hole sensitive. He licks where he has two fingers inside me now, coaxing me towards my orgasm quickly. 

"Lou, need to come!" I whine as I feel a cock ring slip over my dick preventing my orgasm. I'm hard, painfully so, dick bright red and leaking against my stomach. He moves away but leaves his fingers wriggling and moving along my walls. 

"You've been coming a lot without permission recently."  
"That was only when we had sex, Lou," I pant.  
"What does your new Dom think?"  
"I can only come untouched and from someone else's hand."  
"Go upstairs and put in the purple plug we have. Hand me the remote when you come down. And change into a pair of panties and nothing else."

 

I complete his orders and walk slowly down the stairs, apprehensive to give him the buttons.   
"It's okay, lovey. Come sit on my knee and we'll watch some Forever, yeah?" I nod and kiss him gently before sitting on his knee with a whimper, my skin and the plug being pushed against. 

Louis leans back and pulls me with him, toying with the remote in his hand. He studies it carefully before he presses a button and stares at me. 

Suddenly it starts vibrating, right against my prostate. I jump off Louis knee and squirm where I'm stood to try and stop it but I can't so I stand and cry, feeling and looking like a mess. 

Louis wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest so I'm straddling him, bum dipping down I between his knees.  
"You're alright," he soothes as I cry wanting to come so badly.  
"Lou," I cry, writhing in his hold.  
"Stay still. Or do I have to tie you up?"  
"I can be good, promise," I whimper as he rests his hands on my bum, 'accidentally' knocking the plug every now and then as I sniffle into his shoulder. 

He plays with the settings, leaves it on a pulsing on that goes with a pattern, one second of vibrations. Two seconds. Three, so on until it reaches thirty. 

"Louis please let me come," I moan, head fuzzy and Louis warm.  
"You have been a good boy. But you were spanked before..."  
"No- please let me come! I'll be good, I'm good," I sniffle.  
"I'm gonna take your cock ring off and then you may come. But you clean up any mess you make." 

He slides it off and begins pushing against the plug more, flicking it on a higher setting. I grit my teeth and keep my hands away from my dick, thrusting into the air until the vibrations push me over and I come all over my stomach. Louis changes the plug to a low setting but keeps it on while he feeds me my come off his fingers. 

"Good boy. Such a good boy! Never seen anyone do that well, you were so well behaved, babe!" He hugs me to him with a proud smile and I bury my head in his neck, happy with our arrangement. 

I'm happy with Louis. I'm in love with Louis. I would not have it any other way. 

I spend my birthday with Gemma, Niall, Zayn, Liam and Louis. My Dom has agreed to just kinda leave me alone so he doesn't interfere with Louis and I for which I'm grateful. 

Louis has slowly regained his confidence in the bedroom now that I've reassured him he's not going to kill me but he still won't give me a gag anymore. 

I had a panic attack when I was with my Dom the other week and he brought me to Louis because he didn't know what was going on. 

Louis left the room and I brushed my teeth and after building up the courage, went into my little room to get my teddy. 

'I shuffle back into our room and put the bear on the dresser, waiting nervously for when Louis comes in. 

He smiles at me and looks around to follow my gaze until his eyes settle on the dresser. The bear is picked up and passed to me before Louis goes out the room only to come back in with more things for me. 

I'm cuddled into the teddy when he wraps my blanket around me and presses my dummy against my lips. 

"How's daddy's little boy?" He grins when he lies next to me. "Are you sleepy baby?"  
"Yes daddy." I close my eyes to Hide myself from the embarrassment of this. 

I want to do it, I feel little. But I surely look like a fool.  
"Stop thinking," Louis- daddy whispers. "Daddy does the thinking for you. You don't need to worry about anything gorgeous." I nod and rest my head on his chest.  
"Thank you daddy," I mumble around the dummy. 

He nods and kisses my nose before wrapping his arms around me and begins telling me a story of two boys that met in school and one of them hated the other.  
"That's not nice is it daddy?" Louis grins shaking his head.  
"No it's not sweetheart."

But they fall in love and the boys live happily after. And in very tired. Daddy kisses my forehead and moves me to lie in the middle of the bed.  
"Go to sleep baby, daddy will be here when you wake up."'

The first time being little went better than expected. But the next to times I go deeper, watching cartoons and playing with jigsaws. It goes really well and usually happens after a bad panic attack. 

The year Louis is off goes quickly, our love only growing stronger and our dabbling in BDSM grows more adventurous. Another birthday and Christmas goes by, Louis buying me an iPhone for my birthday and taking me out for a meal in a fancy restaurant.

He has tried to give up control more often but he still snaps sometimes. He's better at it than he was, can reign himself in when he has to. He is yet to be submissive in the bedroom which still continues to scare him. I'm comfortable doing what he does. 

I'm nervous when I choose to become a Dom and a few weeks later, have to walk through the door of Mr. Johnson's classroom. My eyes search through the line of subs kneeling on the floor and land on Louis, my gorgeous boyfriend who I know is going to struggle with this.

 

"Louis Tomlinson is the submissive of Harry Styles." He looks up and walks towards me, grinning. I wrap my arms around him and pull him to me for a kiss. 

"I love you," he breathes.  
"I love you."  
"I'm scared," he admits, looking at the ground.  
"We've got each other. Everything's going to be okay." 

Louis looks up at me with bright eyes and a small smile on his face. 

"Promise?"  
"I promise, nothing will hurt you."  
"What if I'm naughty?" He winks and I groan, grabbing a handful of his arse.  
"Naughty boys get punished Louis."

He gulps. This is going to be one hell of a year.


End file.
